Of Prophets and Old Machines
by Shoppers55
Summary: Commander Jane "Jenny" Shepard died heroically at the end of the Reaper War. Until she woke up from the dead again to a very different galaxy to the one that she left. The prophets of Shepard have risen. The old machines have disappeared. But all Shepard wants is to find her bondmate. To finally be ordinary. If only the galaxy would let her. LiaraxFShep Colonist, War Hero
1. Chapter 1

_Moments before the crucible fires:_

 _Who would've thought that walking a few steps would be so hard?_ I can barely breathe as each step I take results in a massive spike of pain. But I will see this finished. I spare a glance back to see if the kid is still there. _Nope he's gone._ I guess he isn't going to interfere in my choice.

I stumble just before I reach the station that he said would result in 'Control'. I can't help but sit there and stare at it as my sight starts to blur. _Am I doing the right thing?_ No, I can't afford to doubt myself now. _Screw you Illusive Man. I'll do this for everyone._

It takes what little strength that I have left but I pull myself up and grab hold of the bars. As soon as I do I can feel some sort of energy burning through me, burning me from the inside out. As I start to scream I hear a million voices call out to me.

"WHAT ARE YOUR COMMANDS" They state.

Maybe it's the massive internal damage I am receiving but it take a couple of moments for me to process that. _He did say that I would take control of the reapers._ So I tell them:

Protect all life.

Restore what was lost.

Keep the balance between organic and artificial life.

I hope that will make a difference for the future. That what I have done will mean something. As the darkness takes me for a second time in my life. My last thoughts just like before are of Liara. _I really wish we could have had those blue babies…_

 _A very long time later:_

 _Oh my god my head hurts._ Wait. How can my head hurt? I thought I was dying? That was the deal right? Save the galaxy and as a reward I get to die right at the end. I'm sure I did die. It wasn't as long as the first time but I am pretty sure it happened. So where the fuck am I now? _If I see Miranda again when I open my eyes I am not sure whether I am going to hug her or punch her._

I try to move. _Nope can't do that._ I try to open my eyes. _Nope._ I even try speaking. _Can't do anything._ It also takes me a moment to realise that I seem to be floating in some sort of liquid. _Guess I am going to have to wait for someone else to do something._ If on cue someone starts speaking.

"Where the hell did you find a clone?" A male human voice asks.

 _Oh for fuck's sake please god do not tell me there have been more clones of me running around. One was enough thanks._

"Found in the ruins of Harbinger." A fast speaking Salarian voice replies.

 _Harbinger's dead? Finally some good news._

"Really? You sure that is Shepard? Looks a little on the young side to me." He sounds closer now. "Didn't think she would be this attractive either. They always get the hottest redhead they can find to play her in the movies you know? But damn look at that body. I think they should get a clone to play her in the future." 

_I'm naked arent I? Of course I am. Some random is enjoying himself at my expense._

"DNA matches. Not fully grown yet. Would estimate age to be around 18 in human years." The Salarian says.

"Eh. Could still bring us a lot of money to the right buyer. See if you can get her out of there. I will see how much I can get out of the prophets for her."

With that it sounds like the man walks away. _What the hell is going on? 18? I am 32 years old. Who would want to buy me? Who the hell are the prophets? When I get out of this someone is going to be giving me answers or I swear they will be in for a world of pain._

So the next few hours I wait. As I hear the Salarian working on whatever I am stuck in. I keep trying to move, speak or do anything but to no avail. Then I hear it. A couple of clicks and a hiss. The liquid that I am suspended in starts to drain. Once it empties I fall to the floor and start retching. I get as much of the liquid out of my lungs as I can.

"Breathe. You are safe. I will not harm you." He keeps repeating the sentence. Like I can't understand him.

I do as he says though. It helps. When I can breathe normally I try opening my eyes. It takes a few blinks to get my eyes to focus. When they do I see a Salarian staring at me. He is a light brown colour. I stand up. I thought my legs would be wobbly but I get up easily. I stand up straight and look my new best friend in the eyes. He looks confused. _Maybe I am meant to be unable to move or something?_

So I decide to speak first in the best intimidating voice I can manage. "You are going to answer some questions for me. For your sake I had better like the answers I receive. First. Where the fuck are the reapers? Second where the fuck am I? Thirdly where is the Normandy? And lastly. Where can I find some clothes?"

He blinks those big eyes of his a few times. I can see the gears turning in his head. Deciding what to do. When he goes for his gun I almost sigh. I use my biotics to push him to the wall. But that doesn't happen. Instead of a blue aura red energy pours out of my body. The Salarian is slammed against the wall unconscious. _What the hell?_ I grab my head as it suddenly feels like it is going to be split in two. _Okay don't use my biotics for the moment._

Once the pain stops I get up and have a proper look at my surroundings. Looks like I am in some kind of warehouse that is being used as a lab. I turn around and look at the container I was in. I have never seen anything like it before. I shiver, it looks like reaper tech, a combination of technology and organic material. _Oh that is not good._ There is a cylinder in the middle, kind of like what Grunt was in. Leading into it are all sorts of wires and tubes that are connected to a console.

I know that I should investigate it but I want out. I want to know what is going on. So I look around for some clothing. I find some trousers and a hoodie in a random box under some shelves. Before I put them on I see my reflection in a mirror. It takes me a minute of staring for me to realise that I am looking at myself. _He was right I do look young._ There are no scars on my body. _Looks like I have a clean slate again._ My red hair is long like really long for me. It reaches down my back to just before my butt. _God I need to get it cut._ I still have my freckles and green eyes. I look closer. For the first time in a while I don't see the red glow in my irises. I look at the rest of my body. My arms and legs, basically my whole body has lost muscle definition. The last time I looked like this was before I enlisted.

 _Maybe I am fully organic again?_ I get dressed in the clothes I found. They fit just. I manage to get my hair down the back of my hoodie. _How do people cope with long hair?_ I pull the hood over my head and head out the door. I also pick up the gun the Salarian had. I don't recognise the make.

Once outside I look around. _Looks like I am in a warehouse district._ Then I look up. _Holy shit I am in the citadel!_ I must be in one of the lower wards then. I don't recognise it though. After walking around for a while I find the Skycar terminal. I am not sure what to do next so I head to the Presidium Commons.

Once the skycar reaches the Commons I get out and have a look around. I see Asari, Turians, Salarians, Krogan and after doing a double take I think I see some Quarians without suits walking around. _How can that be?_ The layout of the area looks the same but the shops have all changed. _Okay starting to get a bit freaked out now._

Not sure what else to do I start walking. _What is going on? None of these people look all that concerned. Isn't the war still going on? If not how much have I missed?_ After nearly walking into a white robed human I look at an advert that is being displayed on the wall.

"What the..." I say to myself quietly.

I am staring at an image of myself. At least I think it's me. The armour is the same colour as what I wear. A darker grey colour with a red and white stripe going down the left arm. It even has the picture of my blue demon (the nickname I got after the Skyllian Blitz, basically a blue female demon with wings) on it (situated on my stomach). But she looks perfect. A glint in her eyes, smooth skin, perfect smile, no bags under her eyes, symmetrical freckles. She also seems to be doing some sort of pose with a gun in one hand and my katana in the other. _I only ever used both weapons once you know. I am never going to live this down._

Beside her is an image of the Normandy. Over it is text stating: Commander Shepard Season 3: The Reaper War. Now Showing. _Okay getting more freaked out now._

As I stare at the poster an Asari Drell couple walk by.

"I can't wait to see how they end it! You know after she enters the beam? I'm hoping for the last stand ending." She says excitedly.

"I think the post finale interviews should be _quite_ interesting. Did you hear? Apparently the actress that plays Liara is having an affair with the actress that plays Miranda. I want them to bring it up. They looked so embarrassed in those paparazzi photos."

 _Okay really really need to find some answers before my head explodes._ I wanted to try and contact Liara or one of the others, but I think my best approach maybe to go to the council chambers or the human embassy. _Only if they believe who I am. Otherwise I think I am royally fucked._

So I head to the Presidium. On the ride over I see them. Gleaming gold statues. I can't help but to be drawn to them. As I get closer I realise what they are of. A Drell statue of Thane, a Salarian statue of Mordin, an Asari statue of Liara and so on. Basically one for each of us. The crew members of the Normandy.

They are all standing in a circle surrounding the final statue that is slightly taller than the rest of them. The one of me. Morbid curiosity makes me walk up to it. I seem to have a bright smile as I point forwards. _I do not smile like that._

At the base of each of the statues there are plaques detailing what each individual did. In front of my one there are flowers, candles and what looks like graffiti scribbled at the base of the statue. There are thanks there. What confuses me is there is more than one message that states something like 'She will return and burn the unfaithful.' _Do they mean me?_

 _Okay not sure what to do with all of this._ I need somewhere to think. I don't think coming here right away was a good idea after all. I need to do some research. Find out what has happened and how long I have been gone this time. As I turn around to leave I see more white robed people standing in front of Liara's statue.

"How can they allow a statue of this _slut_ with the other members of the Normandy?" The leader. A Human male asks.

"The council are in her pocket. Only when Asaki takes her rightful place and we finally rid the galaxy of the reaper scum will the truth be accepted by everyone."

Looks like a religious gathering of some sort. Judging by the other white robed individuals (who seem to be of different races) who by the clapping agree with him. Insulting my bondmate that I cannot let stand. So I push through the crowd grab the man and shove him against the statue.

I snarl in his face "What did you do during the war! Nothing most likely. How dare you say something like that against someone who was with me through it all! Who accepted me with all of my many flaws! Well say something!"

With that I let him go and falls to the floor. He looks shell-shocked. _Good that will teach him._

He almost whispers "It's you. As she foretold the messiah, the Shepard has returned."

 _Uh oh._ _I didn't like any part of that sentence one bit._ Before I have chance to process that and react, someone behind me pulls down my hood. I mistakenly turn around to see who did it. When they recognise me they all fall to their knees with hushed whispers of "It's her" or "the Shepard". But that isn't what catches my attention. Outside the ring of statues are a couple of C-Sec officers, one of who is urgently talking into his omni-tool.

My first thought is to run. Get out of here. But if I want any answers, if I want to find out what happened to my friends. To Liara. I would rather go off with the authorities' then religious people. So I approach them. The Turian not communicating through his onmi-tool reaches for his gun.

 _I try not to roll my eyes at him._ "I am unarmed and not resisting. You don't need that." I put my arms up as well to try and get him calm.

"They are sending someone to come and pick up the clone." The second Turian informs the first.

I can't help but say "You know guys this is the real deal here. Ignoring the fact that I have long hair, look young, have no scars and woke up naked in a tube filled with some kind of liquid."

They just stare at me. _This is going well._

This is when the leader man in the robe decides to speak up. "No we can't let them have her. They will lie. Stop them!"

I can see how this will end. The officers will try to dissuade them. They won't listen and someone will end up dead. _Not on my watch._

So in my best commander voice I shout. "ENOUGH! I will be going with them. You will not interfere." They stop and stare at me. "Now go."

They obediently leave. _Well that was easier than it normally is._ A couple of minutes later a C-Sec vehicle appears. The door opens and I get in. I am not sure what awaits me at the end of this journey but I know one thing. They _will_ give me answers.


	2. Chapter 2: How Long?

**Author Note: Huge thanks for everyone who has reviewed, faved or followed this. It means a lot. I have trouble thinking up names for characters so if anybody has any ideas for names for a Quarian male. An Asari and a Turian male let me know.**

"So guys where exactly are you taking me? The detention centre? The Council? The Alliance?" I ask.

No response from either of the Turians. _I guess someone at the end of this ride will be providing answers._

"Come on. You have to tell me. I _might_ be a bit underdressed you know? Don't make me kick your asses to get some information." I half-jokingly add. 

With that one of the Turians points his gun at me and the other handcuffs me. _Okay tough room._ So I sit there in silence trying to figure out what my next move will be. The handcuffs stop me from being able to use my biotics. _Though considering what happened the last time I tried to use them that might be a good idea for the moment._ If needs be I can probably knock out the Turian next to me. Not sure how to deal with the other one for the moment.

My thoughts are interrupted when we land. I am 'escorted' to an interrogation room in the C-Sec offices. Told to sit and wait for the spectre to arrive. I give him a sarcastic salute. I need to level the playing field. Whoever is coming is going to want to feel like they are in charge. So these cuffs need to come off before they arrive. _How on Earth am I going to do that?_

I examine them the best I can. Looks like they can only be opened through an omni-tool. As I give up I notice something very disturbing. On the fingers of my left hand small metallic 'strings' are slowly extending to the cuffs. _Sure like today couldn't get any madder?_ I try slowly moving my fingers. The 'strings' extend or shrink as I move my hand around the cuffs. _Yep definitely attached._

 _I wonder._ "Open" I state.

The cuffs fall off me. The 'strings' retract and go back into my hand. I look at my fingers closely. They look normal to me. _Guessing I am not fully organic then._ I sigh.

"What the fuck is going on?" _When I meet the person who screwed around with me I am going to rip them about piece by piece and stick other things in. See how they like it._

With nothing else to do but wait I put my hands behind my head and put my legs on the table, cross them and wait. Not wanting to dwell on what is going on I think back on happier times and start humming an old show tune. _Liara I hope you are safe._

 _The apartment of Jenny T'Soni ten minutes later_

I groan as I turn over on my bed as I try to ignore the sound of my omni-tool beeping at me. _Maybe if I ignore it long enough they will contact someone else. There are other spectres out there just as capable as me._

"What's going on?" A female voice asks me groggily from the other side of the bed.

 _What the…_ I quickly turn around. Wiping the sleep from her eyes is a young blond haired blue eyed human. I would estimate her age to be around the twenties. _Where did she come from? Oh goddess I slept with her didn't I? I am never getting that drunk again._

 _Think what happened?_ After investigating what happened to Harbinger or 'First One' has he liked to be called after the end of the war I decided I needed to drink. A lot. _I can't believe that the prophets would do this. Kill the leader of the old machines. What is that mad Asari thinking!? They will deny it of course. Probably say that it was the will of The Shepard. Fuck em. Dad wouldn't want this. She wanted to stop wars not start them._

After downing some ryncol she approached me and introduced herself. _I think it started with a C._ Asked if I was the spectre Jenny T'Soni. Normally I would lie say I wasn't. Either they starting gushing about my parents, the 'Horizon incident' or if they are a member of the Prophets they accuse me of being a traitor to my father, a temptress like my mother or that I should be ashamed that I am not like my sister Benezia the dutiful acolyte of Asuna. _Dammit Benny she can't bring Dad back._

But I was depressed and lonely. Luckily she was the former. So I told her stories. She smiled laughed etc. She's hot and I wanted to forget everything that is going on. I brought her to my parents old apartment in the strip. You can fill in the rest.

"Sorry um..." _Crap think of something Claire? Clarke? Catherine?_ "Babe. I gotta get this." I say to her quickly getting up and activating my omni-tool. _I can't believe I called her 'babe'_. _The first time I have sex in ten years and I can't remember her name. Great Job Jenny._

"T'Soni here." I say trying to sound professional as it is C-Sec calling.

"Karsec here. You need to get here now. We have an S-1 here."

He says more but I can't process it. My blood boils. How can they do this again! Clone my Dad for the fifth time! It doesn't work. They may fall the general populace but once they met the people who love her they don't know enough. The memories they do have are fake and are never from her point of view. They are of people observing her. Once the clones know this they go mad and people end up dead. I know it hurts mother more than anything. She can't move on when this happens every couple of decades.

When he stops talking I just say "I'll be there ASAP."

I make my excuses to the woman in my bed. She smiles and tells me to go. That she knew when she followed me home that a hero could be needed at any moment. That she will wait for me. _That is going to end well._

Once I arrive at C-Sec I make my way straight to where they are holding the latest clone of my father. Standing in front of the one way glass is commander Karsec. A turian in the blue C-Sec armour, he has a small scar above his left eye.

"Has it said much yet?" I ask him trying to keep the anger from affecting my voice. _Why do they keep doing this!?_

He glances to me and speaks. "No, nothing of any significance. It is actually humming some tune while relaxing. It has also somehow removed the biotic dampening cuffs we put on it."

"How?"

"Unclear. That will be something that you will have to find out." He then gives me a detailed account of what they know.

I nod my head and enter the holding room. It ignores me as I enter and take a seat opposite her. I continue to wait for it to respond to my presence. She looks so young. _It is quite unnerving._ Plus relaxed (at least for the moment). Usually when the clones are put in front of someone important all they can do is bleat on about who they are. After 5 minutes of the humming I interrupt her. I want to get this over with.

"Pay attention clone." I spit out.

She stops humming and opens one eye and looks at me while smirking. "Got ya to speak first I win." She puts her feet back down onto the ground and puts her elbows onto the table and her head onto her hands looking almost bored.

I'm a bit speechless at first. _That wasn't what I was expecting her to say first._ Her piercing green eyes stare at me intently. _My eyes. The old crew of the Normandy always set we had your eyes._ I shake my head slightly and focus at what I have to do.

"How did you get out of your cuffs?" I ask.

It snots. "Fuck if I know. Weird metal 'string' things. Somebody else has stuck all new tech into my body when I was dead again." It suddenly looks deadly serious. "Don't worry though. They'll get what's coming to them." Then the look is gone and she smiles at me.

"Fine we'll get to that later. If you are who you say you are you will be able to answer the following questions."

Now we find out how much of an education they have given it on my father's life. So we cover the basics. Where was she born? Mindoir. When did the batarians attacked? On her sixteenth birthday. When did she receive the Star of Terra? After the Skyllian Blitz. Who died on Virmire? Kaidan Alenko. etc.

 _She knows the most obvious facts then._ I show her some writing on my omni-tool. "What does it say?"

She reads and recites, "I am a clone that can read this." Her face takes on a quizzical look. "That was some sort of prothean writing wasn't it?"

"Yes." I begrudgingly say.

"I'm guessing it is a more widely known language now? Otherwise this would be over now?" I nod. "Fine next question."

When my mother could no longer cope with these interrogations she gave me some questions that only the real Shepard could answer. _Let's see how this goes._

"What are you?" I ask

She swallows. "How do you… Of course Liara. I guess she has been telling my deepest darkest secrets to the people investigating any clones that pop up."

Angrily she responds. "I am a failed experiment."

She goes on to explain what I already know. Mindoir wasn't a farming colony. It was a secret Alliance test facility. (Admittedly they did grow crops etc to maintain their cover.) With the advent of biotics in humanity the Alliance wanted to know more. How to stabilise and improve them. My father was an experiment to see whether Asari genes could be grafted onto the human genome. To see if what would happen to the person's abilities. After she was born she showed no signs of biotics. No nodule growth etc. (If they paid proper attention to Asari physiology they would know that they developed later.) As they didn't want her one of the researchers was allowed to adopt her. Her biotics didn't appear until the slaver attack. This also explains how the Alliance responded so quickly.

"That enough info for ya?" I agree. "My turn. How many years has it been since the war ended?"

"200."

She looks shocked. "No… It can't be." A part of me wants to give her the time to process this but I can't. "What is the first truth of the 'Blue Demon'?"

Her head is in her hands and she keeps repeating "200 years".

So I grab her hands and shake her. "Answer the question!"

She composes herself. A veneer of control falls over her. "That I was fuckin scared shitless."

The nickname 'Blue Demon' was born during the Skyllian Blitz. After her comrades were killed she defended the entrance to the city alone. The surviving Batarians after the assault talked in fear about a blue demon, a woman that was practically ripping batarians apart. Killing over 50 of them in a frenzy. In all of the vids and descriptions of the event they describe her as calm, focused and efficient. But really she was a 19 year old girl scared witless wanting to get rid of the monsters that ruined her teenage years.

She looks on the verge of tears "What happened to my crew?"

I tell her. Of the first crew Ashley Williams got married and had 2 kids. She died 70 years ago. Garrus and Tali were married after the end of the war. But split up 5 years later. They were hardly spending any time together as they devoted themselves to their races. Both remarried and had a child with a member of their own races. Tali died 120 years ago and Garrus 130 years ago. Wrex lead the Krogan race to a new age of prosperity. Helping the Krogan to make an uneasy peace with the other races. He and Eve had a number of children. Including a girl named Mordin and a boy called Shepard.

Of the second crew Jack and Miranda ended up married together.

She interrupts me. "Totally called that. Vakarian owes me a 100 credits. You know if he wasn't dead. Knew he would get out of that bet somehow."

That annoys me. "How can you be so flippant?"

"It's either that or cry. A little understanding would be great. My life has been upended again and I am on the verge of a breakdown." She takes a few deep breathes. "Continue."

The two of them adopted twins. Jack died 140 years ago. Miranda with her extended lifespan is alive today. Though she is nearing the end of her life. After the end of the war both Zaeed and Kasumi disappeared. Jacob had a daughter and they named her Martha Shepard Taylor. Grunt is the Krogan representative on the Council. Which now consists of all of the space faring races except the Vorcha. He is also has two sons. Both named Jane.

"Of course he did. He threatened to do that if I died." She says after chuckling.

Samara is nearly the end of her life. After training a new generation of Justicars she retired to the monastery where her eldest daughter resides.

"She had another daughter? That's surprising." She mumbles to herself.

"Samara had another daughter a year after the reaper war." I continue.

She looks away. "No she couldn't have…"

I continue speaking. Of the third crew. EDI and Joker were married after humanity recognised AI as individuals. After he died 150 years ago she created a new AI with behavioural traits of both of them called Hilary. She is currently a pilot with her 'mother' in the Alliance. Samantha Traynor married an Asari tech expert. Their daughter is now a communication expert.

"If you want to know about anyone else I will have to look them up."

She stares across the room looking at nothing in particular. She doesn't say anything for a minutes until. "What about Liara? Where is she? I need to talk to her."

 _I hate it when they ask about her._ So I ignore the questions for the moment. "Show me what happened after you entered the beam."

She has answered all of the question that mother wanted asked correctly so far. Exactly as mother said she would. These were things that she only ever shared with mother. No one would be able to fake this. My heart is pounding. _Could this really be her?_ None of the other clones have got this far in the questioning before being exposed. I should really be contacting my mother but I want to know.

"Sure why not. While you're in there I **will** be finding info on Liara." She stands and I walk up to her. _We're the same height._ "Who are you anyway? There is something about you. You seem so familiar."

I bite my lip. _How do I respond?_ "Embrace eternity."

I expect to feel walls in her mind. But there are none. She shows me everything I wanted to know. How Captain Anderson and the Illusive Man died. Meeting the child. The choice. Dying for the second time. I then expect her to shut me out but she shows me everything in her life. The pain, the regret, the despair, the friendship, the love and the hope. _Oh god Dad._

The meld ends. We're both crying. I hug her and a couple of seconds later I feel her arms around me. _Guess she saw some stuff too._ She pulls me away from her so we can look at each other.

"Hi Jenny my daughter, you are so beautiful. Just like your mother."

At that I burst into more tears.


	3. Chapter 3: The False Race

**Author's Note: Thanks again for the reviews, favs and follows! Hope you think this is okay. The chapter ended up being a lot longer than I originally expected.**

I can't help but stare at her. _How did I not see it?_ She is a darker shade of blue than Liara. But her face, it's the same shape and those freckles. She has the same number. Her eyes are mine though.

"It was that final meld before the run to the portal wasn't it? That was when she did it." I ask as I wipe away my tears.

She nods. _It was so intense compared to our normal melds. Maybe if I hadn't been so pre-occupied I would have noticed._

I put my forehead against hers. "I want to know everything about you when we have the time. Growing up, your favourite things, your first love."

I calm my nerves. _How do I introduce myself to her?_ "I guess you know everything there is to know about me?"

My daughter hiccups. "Yeah. Mother shared with us your memories as we grew up. First the happy ones and then as we got older and could handle them the… less happy ones."

 _No how could she. I would never expose them to those memories. She doesn't deserve to carry my pain. Wait did she say us? Holy Crap she has a twin._ "Wait wait. We need to bring your sister into this. What's her name? Is she here on the Citadel? Thessia?" I can't get the words out fast enough.

But something isn't right. She tenses up and looks away. "Benny um I mean Benezia. She um uh… she is with the Prophets on Mindoir."

 _I guessing that is a problem._ "What are the prophets? I have heard them mentioned a few times. What do they have to do with me?"

She gets up and sits in one of the chairs. "The Prophets of Shepard is a religious order. They believe that the protheans were a god like race who created everything in our galaxy. The Citadel, biotics, the Mass Relays etc. It is also their belief that they were a peaceful non-violent race. That they integrated the other races of their time into their collective by choice elevating their existence. They were destroyed when the 'devils' called the reapers appeared. Not thinking of themselves they spent their last years creating warnings for us."

I have to interrupt her at this point. "That isn't how Javik painted their race. That sounds like the idealistic approach Liara once had."

She looks sad at the mention of Javik. "He was murdered shortly after the war. No evidence was left behind but I believe it was them. To stop him from contradicting them. After that people found it easier to believe the old theories about the protheans than what my mother and the crew of the Normandy believed."

I roll my eyes at that. "Of course why believe anything that we have to say on the matter." I say really sarcastically.

She smiles "Yes well, people prefer fantasy to the cold hard truth."

"But what does that have to do with me?"

"I think you are going to like this." She chuckles.

 _This is going to be painful._ "They believe that the reason you were able to bring us to victory in the war against the reapers is because the protheans selected you to be their 'prophet'. The ability to do that was given to you by the beacon. You were to bring back their key values and return this galaxy back to its natural state. Which basically boils down to the fact that we all should become 'Prothean'. You started this process by bringing the races together. By solving their problems and in the end removing the barriers that kept those races apart. After your death they believe it is up to every individual to follow your example."

"Sure why not?" I sigh. "Why is it bad that your sister is with them?"

"Because mother despises them for how they portray you. That you were this being who could do no wrong. That you would condone their actions."

 _I have an idea where this is going._ "What actions?"

Uncomfortably she says. "When around 80% of a planet's population is converted they take over. If you are a part of the remaining 20% you have two choices: convert or leave. You can't leave the religion once you have joined. They deny it but anyone that has tried to leave ends up dead. Lastly they are gearing up for the final war against the reapers."

I want to ask about the reapers. Where are they now? Did they obey the commands I gave them? But for now I will stick to questions about my other daughter. "So why on earth did she join them?"

"You have to understand. Growing up we both worshipped you. All we wanted to hear about were stories about you saving the day. Overcoming insurmountable odds. We couldn't imagine anything bad about you. We both wanted to be Spectres. To serve. I managed to join the Alliance and become an N7. She didn't. Around the same time mother showed us memories of you that showed us that you weren't perfect. Things like your hatred of batarians, of how you could work with them if you had to but that you could never trust them. The relationship you had with the Justicar Samara when mother shut you out."

She looks away ashamed. _How can I be ashamed of the two of you? Not being in your lives is my fault._ "She couldn't cope with the loss of our dream and hearing the truth about you. She ran. Somehow even with all of mother's connections Asuna the leader of the Prophets found her before we did. Benezia has been a loyal follower ever since. She is happy and fulfilled there. She is also a positive influence on Asuna, since she joined the Prophets have become less violent."

 _I never wanted any child of mine to follow in my footsteps. I wanted them to be just like Liara._ I get up off of the floor. "I need to talk to Liara. Where is she? I want to talk to her before I go after Benezia."

Jenny stands up and walks to the door. "Let me get things sorted here and I will take you to her." She leaves the room.

After leaving my father I talk to Commander Karsec. He looks shocked as I explain to him that the woman sitting in there is the real Shepard. He promises to keep this information to himself so that she can talk to my mother before revealing her existence to the council.

 _Though she will probably be off running after Benny by then. As normal it's all about her. Precious needy Benny. Damn it Jenny stop being jealous. Dad just wants to protect her._

Before taking her to mother we are going to my apartment so she can get showered and changed. I thought I would have to fight her on this but she agreed. She wants to look respectable for the reunion.

On the ride back to my apartment I explain to my dad what mother has been doing since the war ended. Once we were old enough to take care of ourselves mother went back to being the Shadow Broker full time and concentrated all of her resources on finding out what the reapers were doing after the war.

When the crucible fired and the relays went offline the reapers left their harvests and disappeared. Their creations collapsed and died at the same time. The only thing they did leave behind were instructions on how to repair the relays. Only when the races became desperate did they follow the instructions. (This was 5 years later.) It would take another 20 years for the network to return to how it was before the war.

With the allied fleet and the citadel at Earth a lot has changed on the planet. Most of the races (even batarians) now live on Earth permanently. Though there will always be some humans against it aliens are now part of every aspect of life on Earth.

The reapers or 'old machines' as they now like to be called are hardly ever seen. Before the relays were fully repaired they helped the outer colonies to survive. After that the only place that they are seen regularly is Rannoch. Where they mediate for the Geth and Quarians whenever problems arise between them.

Other than that they are never seen. That didn't sit well with mother. So she had deep space probes created and sent out. 10 years ago they found an old machine. It is on a planet known as XJ-76-54 which at the time was near an inactive relay. A planet similar in climate to Earth though significantly bigger. (Around 2 and a half times.) Here for lack of a better term it was giving birth to a race.

"Giving birth!?" Dad looks shocked.

I look over to her. "Kinda. Basically it is restoring the race it was created from there. Before it never made any sense to me. But now knowing what you did on the crucible it makes sense."

As she doesn't say anything further I continue with my explanation. The new (or old) race is known to us as Angels. That's what Lawson called them when we saw the first image of them and the name has sort of stuck.

This information was secretly given to the council so that they could decide on what our response should be. So naturally a couple of days later the whole galaxy knew. Mass hysteria followed. Once things calmed down 2 options were left.

The option that my mother championed was one of acceptance. To go to this race and help them integrate into the galaxy and talk to the old machine and find out where else this is happening.

The option that the Prophets prefer is one of destruction. That this is a reaper trick. That the angels are a false race that when strong enough will destroy us and finish what the reapers started.

The council has been teetering between these two options ever since. To help her cause mother is bringing the Angel Queen to the Council. So that she can argue their case and show them that their race is not a threat. The biggest surprise for my mother is the amount of knowledge the angels have about the galaxy. They knew about the relays and all of the races. Even the war.

Mother is currently on her way to the citadel with the Queen.

Dad looks deep in thought. "What do you think should happen?"

 _I wonder what the right response to this is?_ I swallow. _I don't want to disappoint her._ "At the moment. I am not sure. I need to hear what the Queen will say. We need to give them an opportunity to join the wider galaxy. Though if they do try anything. We stop them and isolate them. I don't want a race that has been killed once to be destroyed again."

"Good. That is what I believe we should do as well. It's the reason I saved the Rachni twice. As you now know the reapers themselves won't harm us. I don't know what these angels will be like though. Let us hope they are peaceful." She smiles at me. I try to stop the blush I can feel coming. _I'm thinking like Dad._

When we get to my apartment I'm glad to find the girl I slept with last night has gone. _Clarke! That was her name! That would have been an awkward conversation to have with my Dad._

Dad looks around. "Is this..."

"Yep the place Anderson gave you. I needed a place on the Citadel so Mother said I could have it."

She walks around checking the place out. Looking at my photos. As she walks past a data pad that I don't remember putting there it beeps at her. Before I can stop her she picks it up and reads it.

As she reads it her eyebrows go up. "Looks like you rocked Clarke's world from what is said here. She had to go to work and will call you later."

 _Okay not sure how to respond to that._ As I stare at her blankly her expression changes. _Why does she look scared?_

"I-I shouldn't have said that. Why did I say that? Your relationships are none of my business. I-I didn't mean to embarrass you. It was an invasion of your privacy to read it." She tries to give the data pad to me and then halfway through the action goes and puts it back where she found it. Then plops down on the nearby sofa.

I sit down next to her. "It's fine Dad. It just surprised me is all. I didn't know how to respond to you finding out about my… night time activities." _Nice safe word that._

"I keep thinking of what to say to you. How to get to know you." Her hands are clasped together as she plays with her fingers.

"What do you want to know?"

"Is this Clarke your partner?" She asks.

"No we only just met yesterday." I reply sheepishly.

"Is my girl a player then?" She looks up from her hands and smiles at me.

"No not at all. She was the first individual I have been with since my ex."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No she hurt me and I don't like bringing it up."

"Okay message received. I better go and get ready. You sure that I can wear some of your clothes?" She gets up and heads for the bedroom. I nod at her.

It takes an hour before I hear I come out. "Finally what took you so long?"

She walks out and stands in front of me. She looks amazing. She is wearing a short yellow dress cut above the knee. Her arms are uncovered and she is showing off an impressive amount of cleavage. She must have taken a pair of scissors to her hair as it is a lot shorter now and done up in a ponytail. For some reason she looks uncomfortable and unhappy.

"Seriously is this all you have to wear? Dresses like this? Where are your normal clothes?" _These are my normal clothes._

"What's wrong with them? You look… _hot._ " _I did not just say that did I?_

She laughs. "Thanks for that. But don't you have any trousers or shirts or such? I only wear something like this when someone forces me to."

I roll my eyes. "Come on Dad let's go."

I'm taking Dad to the Presidium. Specifically the Ambassador offices. They set mother up there when this whole business started. I am going to stash Dad in her secret Shadow Broker room she had installed. She can come out of there was I have discussed her resurrection with Mother.

She keeps glancing over at me. "So um tell me if this is not an okay question to ask. But um uh… I know that your ex is female but do you have a specific gender / species that you date? I just wondered what you look for in a partner?"

I can't help but give her a look. One that says 'Did you just ask me that?'

She quickly blushed then looks away. "Sorry. Inappropriate question again. If you were human I would have been able to have had a pretty good guess."

 _She's just trying to get to know you idiot. Not looking into the 'fact' that Asari will go with anything._ "It's fine Dad. Growing up we spent a lot of time on Earth. It was important to Mother that we learnt about humanity because of you. When we entered what you would consider our 'teenager' years I became 'interested' in human females. Benny the human males. Later on in our lives Benny became attracted to different species and I found myself only interested in what I already knew."

 _Now to make her squirm._ "What about you? What's your type?"

I expect her to get embarrassed. But she looks at me and grins. "Smoking Hot Scientist types." _Ew Why did I ask?_

Pretty soon after that we make it to the offices. There's no one around due to the tight security around the Queen's' visit which makes things easier, this way I don't have to answer any questions about who is accompanying me.

I stash her in Mother's secret room. She does not look happy being hidden away. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. She will be with me and after the initial reunion I'll leave you alone so you can get up to some gross parenty stuff."

 _Oh god I am so bored. Where are they? I been here for 3 hours!_ I have tried accessing the computers but Liara has changed her passwords from what I knew. There's nothing to read so all I have to entertain myself are the questions that are rolling around in my head. _Why bring me back? What's been done to me? Why was I in Harbinger? Why not earlier? And the most important one of all. Am I even Human?_

I sit back down. "I wish there was something that I could hit."

If on cue an alarm goes off on the computer. The screen turns on and I read the message that appears on the screen marked urgent. 'The Shepards' Judgement have kidnapped the Angel Queen and Liara T'Soni and have taken them to her office. Firefight now occurring outside. Please advise.'

Liara is in trouble. I have to get out there! I try and get the door to open but every time I pressed the button for the door to open nothing happened. "Damn it! Why won't you open!?"

I kick the door a couple of times in frustration. I go back to the computer but it wants a password I don't know. I groan. "I need help to get out of here."

"I cannot let you out of here at the moment Commander Shepard." Surprised I look around. _That was Glyphs voice wasn't it?_

I can't see the floating orb anywhere. "Glyph where are you?"

"I am hard wired into the Broker's systems now Commander." I hear his voice respond.

 _Wait what? What happened to the floating orb thing? Liara is in trouble Shepard priorities._ "Glyph Liara is in trouble! I need to get out of here!" I shout out.

"Apologies Commander but when the next room is occupied I am forbidden by Doctor T'Soni to open the door."

I realise what he means. "Liara and the Queen are next door?"

"Affirmative"

 _Okay so maybe bursting out of the door would be a bad idea. Assuming this room must be sound proofed. "_ Glyph I have to help them! As you won't open the door is there any other way out of this room?"

"Please try the vent on the other side of the room Commander. It leads to the next room."

I make my way over and remove the covering from it. I look around for some weapons or armour. There is none. _Brilliant I have to face armed kidnappers with a yellow dress. Before I go out there I need two things. Intelligence and a distraction._

 _"_ Glyph can you show me what is happening out there?" I ask.

In response one of the other computer screens powers on and I see the room next door. In the middle of the room is Liara and the Queen surrounding by what I can only assume is some kind of Biotic dampening field. Seeing as how she isn't fighting back. In front of them talking is a Batarian. Surrounding them are a male human and Turian and on the opposite side a young unsuited Quarian girl and standing right next to her is a Geth platform. _What on Earth is a Geth and a Quarian doing kidnapping people!? No matter I'll work that out later._ The exit out of the vent is in the middle of the room. If I can get them out of the room I can help Liara and the Queen.

One thing does stand out to me though. They all have swords of varying lengths. "Glyph why do they have swords of all things?"

"Because you did Commander. All members of the Shepard's Judgement use swords." _Fuckin copycats._

"I know I am going to regret asking this but what is the 'Shepard's Judgement'?" I close my eyes and rub them with my hand dreading the answer.

"The Shepard's Judgement are a militarised offshoot of the Prophets of Shepard. While the Prophets will wait for the galaxy as a whole to condemn the so called 'false race' to death, they believe that the race must die immediately as well as anyone who supports them. They have stated that they will attack the Citadel during the Angel Queens visit." _Well they stick to their word I'll give them that._

Now to get the distraction ready. "Glyph can you override the speakers in these offices?"

"Yes Commander."

 _This plan of mine may actually work._ "Okay Glyph when I am in the vent I need you to make it sound like someone is knocking on the door. When they respond make it sound like someone is running down the hall and then all of the way to the entrance."

"Yes Commander."

Before I enter the vent I rip the middle of the dress I am wearing so that I can move my legs freely. I then try and engage my biotics. The raging red energy engulfs me and my head starts throbbing. I close my eyes. _Focus damn it! Control your breathing. This power is an extension of yourself. Focus on it. Breathe. Remember what you were taught._ After a few more seconds I open my eyes. The intense throbbing is down to a dull ache and the red energy surrounding me is calmer. _Good to go._

I enter the vent and start crawling. As I get halfway I hear Glyphs distraction. From the shouting, shooting and running I am hoping the room is now empty. I peak through the grate. _No such luck._ The Batarian, the Quarian and the Geth are still here. The Batarian is shouting out of the open door while the other two are nearer me with their captives in the middle.

 _Okay here goes nothing._ As quietly as I can I open the grate and let myself out. With my biotics I grab the Geth and fling him against the wall. Before the Quarian can react I am on her. _She looks so young._ I really don't want to hurt her. But I need her dealt with. So I settle for a sucker punch in the face. Grabbing her pistol as I do.

This just leaves the Batarian on the other side of the room. I expect him to start shooting at me but he stands there staring at me.

Then he speaks in a deep and gravelly voice. "So temptress you have created another abomination to try and fool the faithful with. It shall not work! The Prophet Shepard would destroy you for this blasphemy!"

 _Man people really do believe this crap._

He seems to take my silence as a que to continue talking. "We will destroy the reapers and finish our prophet's work! We will ascend and become true protheans! You clone and your temptress will burn! The daughter who pours poison into Asuna's ear will burn! All who oppose us will fall!"

 _Okay that's enough._ I start to walk towards him. He stops his next rant when he sees the look on my face. He brings his weapon up and starts firing at me. I bring up the strongest barrier I can muster and continue walking towards him. From the deepening snarl on his face I suspect that the bullets should be ripping through my barrier by now. _I guess I must have even stronger Biotics now._

When I am standing in front of him his pistol much have overheated as he stops firing. _Guess he must be too stunned to put in another heat sink._

For a minute I just stare straight into two of his eyes. He doesn't respond so I speak. "I am Commander Jane Shepard. Whether you believe that or not is up to you. I don't have to prove _anything_ to the likes of you. But no one threatens my family and gets away with it."

I grab him with my Biotics and move towards the window on the other side of the room. "I think you should be going now." And with that I throw him out of the window and watch him hit the ground.

I watch impassively as the clone of my love kills the Batarian holding us. _I can't go through this nightmare again._ She turns around and looks directly at me. _Goddess look at how young she looks._ My heart beats faster as she walks towards us and unlocks the Biotic dampening field surrounding us.

She stands there unsure how to react to me and I can see the tears falling down her face. Before she tries to hug me I make my move. I engage my biotics and throw her against the wall. I expect her to be unconscious but she is barely phased. A look of shock appears on her face.

I grab her by the throat and hold her against the wall. "You will not do this to me again!" I scream. _Why won't she say anything!_

She isn't even gasping for breath. "Oh Liara I'm so sorry." She whispers to me.

"Why is that?" I spit back.

"I can see from the look on your face that you are in so much pain. I never wanted to hurt you like this. You were the one thing that I always vowed to protect. Looks like I failed at that spectacularly." She takes a deep breath and continues speaking. "If killing me helps you to heal. Do it." She says it so calmly.

 _What is happening? The clones don't normally react like this. Goddess please don't make me regret this._ I initiate a meld. As our minds join I force myself deep into her mind. She doesn't resist me at all letting me go as I please.

Wherever I go one thought stands out. _I am yours._ One of the last words I said to her. I can feel it. This woman loves me. In response to this she shows me all of her memories of me one by one. Only the real Shepard would have those most intimate memories.

"I love you Liara. So much." She embraces me and I feel her arms around me.

I can't stop the tears coming. _Maybe this time we can truly be together._ "I love you too my beautiful Jenny."


	4. Chapter 4: The Prophets of Shepard

**Author's Note: Following the advice of a reviewer it should now be easier to tell when I change characters. If anyone else has any pointers let me know.**

 _Mindoir headquarters for the Prophets of Shepard. Benezia Shepard's residence._

I feel another kick as I try to get myself comfortable. I close my eyes and try to get back to sleep. After a couple of minutes when I have nearly dozed off she gives me another kick. I sit up and run my hands over my swollen stomach.

"You're not going to let me sleep are you little one." I say lovingly to my child. _Should be any day now. I cannot wait to meet you._

"I need my sleep for when you decide to visit us." I look around the bedroom. "Now where has your father gone off to?"

I get out of the bed and put on a robe. I walk (or waddle depending on your perspective) around the living room. _Nope she isn't here either. Asuna promised me she would leave the daily affairs of prophets to others and concentrate on us. This had better be important._ I sigh. "Your father Diana is going to get a good talking to when I see her." I say a little too sweetly.

I go back into the bedroom and get changed. I then make my way over to her office on the other side of our building. As I am heading in that direction I decide to visit my old class and see how they are doing with their replacement teacher. I knock on the door and enter the classroom.

"Sorry to interrupt Mr Rogers but I wanted to see how the kids are doing without me." I ask politely.

He inclines his head slightly and replies "Not at all Mrs Shepard. We were going over the basics of the Prothean language."

I look over the children. 20 of them in total. 8 humans, 5 asari, 3 Turians, two quarians, a hanar and a krogan all aged around 10. As normal we don't allow the different species to congregate together. Each individual should have an alien sitting next to them when possible to encourage the children to mingle. So that they can learn to accept and work alongside each other.

" _How are you doing today class?_ " I ask in prothean.

" _Very well thank you Mrs Shepard._ " I smile at them. That was said perfectly. It was Asuna's idea. To help unify the different races we would all learn to speak Prothean. We would not need translators. We would understand each other perfectly. _Though Elcor still need to start their sentences with what they are feeling._

With this and other initiatives most of us under the banner of the Prophets of Shepard see ourselves as one people. _Just like my human father wanted._

After speaking with the children and allowing those who want to, to feel my daughter moving around I move on. _Teaching children. This is what I was born to do._ It was so hard to give up my dream of being a Spectre and a soldier but Asuna was right as always. I can do so much more good when teaching.

When I walk up to her office, the guards outside look alarmed. I know something big must have happened. As I go to enter her office one of the guards the human Emma stops me from going in. She has shoulder length black hair, brown eyes and is the same height as me and if my memory serves me she comes originally from the European continent on Earth. _Exactly the type of girl my sister goes for. Jenny. I wonder how she's doing?_

"Benezia I'm sorry but Asuna has asked to not be disturbed while she finds out what exactly is going on." She says apologetically.

I try to think if something could be happening and then it hits me. _The fake race's Queen. Liara._

I won't be dissuaded so easily. "Please tell my bondmate that I am out here and that I wish to speak to her immediately."

She nods and speaks into her omni-tool. The doors open. "Sorry about that Benny."

"It's okay Emma. It's not your fault." I squeeze her arm as I past to reassure her.

I enter room and Asuna is standing there waiting for me. My bondmate the Matriarch, leader of the Prophets. Looking stunning as usual. Most individuals concentrate on the scar on the left side of her face. A long jagged line that starts just above her eye and ends at the corner of her mouth. She got it at the end of the reaper war in the battle for Earth at the hands of a husk. But I concentrate on her soft purple skin. The light blue markings that surround her right eye. At times she can command thousands and then make you feel like the only person in the universe. _She is just like my father in that regard._

She walks towards me and tries to get me to leave. "Love you shouldn't be out of bed. You were very restless last night."

I stop and cross my arms summoning my best 'don't mess with me face'. "What has happened? Please don't lie to me. It has something to do with Liara T'Soni doesn't it?"

"Will you allow me to work out what has happened first? Your mo-"

I interrupt her before she can complete that word. Angrily I say. " _Don't_ call her that! She is not my mother. Our daughter's namesake was a better mother to me than _her."_

"Forgive me Benezia. Liara is fine. But there have been… Other developments. I don't want you to get your hopes up." She tells me in a calm voice.

"Father. She's back isn't she! Just like you foretold! Where is she!?" I can't keep the excitement out of my voice.

Asuna leads me to a chair and sits me down. "If it is her and that is a big if. Then she saved Liara and the Angel Queen from an attack by the 'Shepard's Judgement'."

 _Those stupid idiots! They are making it worse for us. Liara will use this to turn her against us._ I take a couple of deep breathes to calm myself.

Asuna waits for my breathing to level out and when it does she continues talking. "We need to confirm that it is her first. I'll be going to the Citadel as soon as I can to see her. Once I know it is her I will bring her here so that you can meet her."

A million and one questions go through my head. What if it isn't her? What if they turn her against us? Will she approve of what I have done? I want to go with her. But this far in my pregnancy travelling is not that good of an idea.

"Please be quick love. I don't want Diana to arrive before the two of you get back." I stand up and make my way to the door. "When exactly are you leaving?"

"A couple of hours why?" She asks.

"I want to record a message for her. Come by before you leave and I will give it to you."

She smiles at me and agrees. So I leave her to it. _Protheans above what am I going to say?_

 _Second Prophet Asuna's Office: Asuna_

I wait for my bondmate to leave. Once the doors close I call out to my VI. "Javik I want you to contact Vakarian immediately. Once he responds put it through to my personal QEC room. Luckily it only takes a few minutes for him to respond.

His image appears in front of me. Garrus Vakarian III. As always he is wearing the same blue coloured armours as his forefather the original Garrus Vakarian. Even his carapace looks the same. Five years ago he even went so far as to have surgery on his face to resemble the scar the original Garrus got when he was the Archangel.

This Garrus is the leader of the Prophet's Judgement. A position I put him in due to his military training and his loyalty to the Prophets. They can do the dirty work that the vast majority of our people despise. They will wipe out the false race and find out what the reapers are really up to. Then they can be welcomed back into the fold. _At least with a few sacrifices from the leadership of the group to show the galaxy that we do not condone their actions. I may have not mentioned that part of the plan to him._

I sometimes feel the Shepard had an easier time of things with the group that was working against her. It was obvious to the vast majority of the galaxy that Cerberus was up to no good even before the war. Not so with us and the false race / 'old machines'. But we will expose them for what they are.

Myself and Vakarian are the only ones that know our two groups are actively working together. Our followers do not need to know what their leaders do to keep them safe.

After sorting through my thoughts I look to Vakarian and in my best diplomatic voice say. "What happened? You assured me that your men could capture the Queen and T'Soni. This was our _best chance_ at getting access to their planet and the reaper."

He doesn't look the least bit perturbed by my comments and says in an almost bored voice. "The plan would have worked apart from the intervention of T'Soni's _pet_ clone. They were confined and ready for transport. A shuttle would have taken them to a starship outside the Citadel and then that starship would have taken them to my fleet."

Then in a deadly voice he says. "Once there they would've given us all of the information that we needed. However long that would have taken. Using whatever methods that were needed."

 _I'm not impressed._ "Regardless you failed." He doesn't react. "You referred to the woman who stopped your men as a clone. I am not sure if that is the case. Not from the way T'Soni has reacted."

"Of course she is a clone. We _know_ the truth about the Shepard. She would never side with those heathens who denounce our truth." His mandibles twitch uneasily.

I ignore his words for the moment they don't help us with the problem at hand. "T'Soni and her daughter have said nothing since the footage of Shepard appeared after the failed kidnapping. It _could_ be her. The protheans of old said she would return. I will soon be going to the Citadel myself to confirm the truth."

His stance changes. Becomes more rigid. "No you won't. Anything concerning the T'Soni's is to be dealt with by me. That is what we agreed. So you could keep your hands clean and not upset your _precious_ Benezia."

I can feel myself growing angry. "Do not bring her into this."

While I contain my anger he does not. "Since you started your relationship with her you have grown _weak_. You no longer make the hard choices. Leaving it to me to clean up your messes. _I_ will discover the truth about the clone and the reapers. When I do, we will be having a discussion over who is best to lead us."

And with that his image disappears. _Dammit. Without direct supervision he thinks that he knows what is best._ I start to pace around the room. _Though this could prove useful. If this really is the Shepard we could fight against him together. A way to build trust between us and combat any lies T'Soni has told her. Then we could discover what the reapers are up together._

As the thought passes through my mind I decide to discuss the matter with them, the protheans. I return to my office and then using my omni-tool I sweep my office for any recording devices that may have been planted. _Always best to check._ When I get the all clear and place my hand next to a painting of IIos. The hidden pad checks my hand print and I say the password. "The protheans are still with us."

With that the wall moves allowing my entrance to a room containing one single item. A working prothean beacon. I found it in the ruins of IIlos. I don't know what possessed me when I found it but I touched it. Immediately I was assaulted by voices speaking to me in a language I did not understand. Over time I learnt their language and they told me who they were. The spirits of the protheans. Though they had been destroyed they had left behind the means to destroy the reapers. The plans to the crucible and beacons that would choose someone to represent them and what they stood for. But something went wrong. The reapers survived and the Shepard died. So they asked me to continue her work and that she would return to lead us to a new golden age. So I have. We are nearly ready. We just have to find out what the reapers are up to now. Once we have exposed them the rest of the galaxy will join us.

I place my hand on it and then I hear them speak. "DAUGHTER WHAT IS THE MATTER?"

So I inform them of what has happened the past day. Then once I am done I ask. "Is it her? Has the Shepard returned?"

I fear that I have upset them when it takes a couple of minutes for them to respond. "THAT IS NOT FOR US TO DETERMINE. YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HER. CONFRONT HER AND FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF."

 _Why do they never make it easy?_ "I hear and obey." I remove my hand from the beacon and make myself ready for the journey to the Citadel.

 _Location unknown: Other side of the beacon_

 _How I hate having to talk to these... creatures._

"So do you think it is actually her General? The real Commander?" The scientist asks me from his seat opposite the beacon.

"The reapers have immense amount of technology and knowledge at their disposal. Combine that with what she did at the Citadel? Yes it could be her. It would explain why Harbinger was alone. It was trying to protect her." I respond.

"Why did you flee? Why did you not examine the ruins of Harbinger? To have that clone would have been _extremely_ useful." I ask my subordinate angrily.

The soldier stands to attention. "General. After the destruction of the reaper, mercenaries appeared. It was deemed that hiding our presence was more critical to the mission than engaging the mercenaries and looking through the remains."

"Imbecile! No one would've cared about a few dead mercenaries!" I stand and slam my first against the table. "Your actions yesterday may have cost us everything!." I calm myself. "Go to the re-education centre. Maybe this time you will learn something useful."

His face pales but he leaves and does what he is commanded.

The scientist looks at me. "Did you have to do that? There are too few of us in this galaxy as it is. That will just turn him into a useless drone that can only follow instructions."

"Then he will be more useful than he currently is." I respond.

Changing the subject the scientist asks. "What shall we do with the clones of her that we have made?"

"Wake them up and train them. As we have never made one that could fool T'Soni they have little use now. If nothing else they will make excellent soldiers." I get up and leave.

 _We are so close to reclaiming what should rightfully be ours. After so many years in exile this plan must come to fruition. Once we have figured out what the reapers are up to we can make the Prophets fight the rest of the Galaxy. Destroying them both in the process. Then we will make our triumphant return and restore this galaxy to the way it should have always been. With us on top._

 _Terminus Systems: The Sovereign: Garrus Vakarian III_

I disconnect the call from Asuna. _I guess I will have to do this alone._ I used to be able to count on her to do what is needed. But she has allowed herself to become weak. Just like the Shepard. Instead of concentrating on her duty she allowed herself to fall in love and to care deeply about her crew. From what I have been told that nearly paralysed her with fear on multiple occasions.

It is my belief that she allowed this to cloud her judgement. This in turn affected the firing of the Crucible. _I don't think it is a coincidence that it fired a blue light._

I walk over to the observation window and look out if it. In the distance I can see the outline of the Crucible that we are building. While it took the galaxy months to build it, it will most likely take us a few years. Once it is complete we will take it to the Citadel and this time I will fire it correctly. I will let nothing distract me and then the protheans will see that I would make a much better prophet. 


	5. Chapter 5: The Examination

**Authors Note: Over 1000 views now! Thanks everyone.**

 _Illuim: Nos Astra: Luna daughter of Samara_

I stand in the shadows as I watch the Turian in the Blue Suns armour leave the 'abandoned' warehouse. _Guess this is the place where they are making the red sand._ I open up my omni-tool and bring up the only photo that I have of my dad. It was taken during the Reaper War. My father was a human female with long black hair and violet eyes called Amanda Simmons. A lieutenant serving on the Normandy who died in the battle for Earth. Due to the destruction during the Reaper War there are no records or any other pictures of her.

"I'll make you proud Dad." I say to her and then close my omni-tool.

I take a couple of deep breathes to calm myself. _You can do this. You are a Justicar now and you will punish these mercenaries for breaking the code._ I check my gun (a Scorpion pistol) for the tenth time since leaving the hotel. Heat sink is in and I am ready to go.

I sneak over to the side door and let myself in. _Just as I expected: Red Sand._ Okay let me think about this. What does the code say about a situation like this?

 _When you cannot without a shadow of a doubt know that an individual near criminal activity is guilty of said activity confront them. Then depending on their reaction deal with them accordingly. Refer to article 2-b for self-defence._

I can't help sighing quietly to myself. _Why do we always have to take the most dangerous route?_ I let a mask of indifference fall over my face and walk into the centre of the room and in the most confident and commanding voice I can manage say.

"Who is in charge of this drug production? A Justicar would have words with them."

Internally I hope against hope that someone would come and speak to me but no such luck as I hear a voice scream. "Kill her!"

I sprint to cover as fast as I can. Keeping my barrier as strong as possible as three bullets hit it. I pull my pistol out and wait for them to stop shooting at me. I engage my biotics and get a warp ready. Once the firing stops I blindly throw the warp in the direction the bullets were coming from. I am rewarded with a yelp. I lean out of cover and fire three bullets at the helpless Salarian breaking his shield and killing him. I drop the body.

A deadly silence falls over the warehouse. _Guess they are taking me seriously now._ I move as silently as I can out of cover and down the warehouse towards the office. Usually important people hide in there when the fighting begins. That's when I hear the Krogan charging towards me. I throw a Reave at him, he grunts as it hits him. I shoot behind me a couple of times to lay down a couple of 'proximity mines' and then freeze. At the last possible moment I dodge out of the way.

Before he can change direction he sets off the 'mines'. The small blasts hit him and he falls over dazed. _A Justicar does not kill if the enemy is incapable of fighting unless there is no other option._ I take a quick look around. The effects of the reave will stop him from healing, I just need to find something that will hold him down for a while. I lift some pieces of machinery and lay them over him. His breathing doesn't change so I guess it isn't too heavy for him.

That also seems to be the end of the guards. I guess this must be a small time operation. _I kinda wanted a big operation to bust up for my first outing as a Justicar._ No matter a success is a success.

Towards the other side of warehouse I see them. The slaves. _A justicar always protects the innocent no matter the cost to her mission._ I go over to them and reassure them. That they are in no danger. Once I finish talking they all run off in different directions. I shake my head and move on.

I enter the office to find another Salarian male hiding under a desk. I put him in a stasis field. As I am about to interrogate him I hear a lot of noise behind me. _Shit reinforcements!_ I get myself ready behind the door when I hear shouting.

"This is the Illuim police! Come out with your hands up!"

 _A Justicar surrenders themselves to the police for one day when confronted by a local force. Then she is free to do as the code demands._

So I calmly exit the room with my hands up and say. "I am Justicar Luna. I submit to your authority."

 _Illuim: Nos Astra police station: Samara_

 _Nearly One day later_

I enter the police station and look around.

 _"_ Detective S'Jala?" I ask the crowded room.

The room falls silent as everyone looks at me. _My reputation precedes me._ An Asari stands up and walks over to me, clearly nervous.

"That would be me. We weren't sure who else to contact about the maiden. She identified herself as a Justicar and well...seeing as how you're their leader you might know something about her. Otherwise you could try and dissuade her from pretending to be one of you." She motions to me to follow her.

"She is getting a bit antsy. She quoted some of the Justicar code at us when we detained her about only being held by the police for a day. That time limit is almost up."

"Do not worry. She is my daughter. I know how to handle her." I say softly to the detective.

She just nods at me and opens the door to the cell holding my Luna. As I enter the cell she looks at me shocked.

"Mum? What are you doing here?" She asks.

"Whenever someone impersonates a Justicar I am contacted." I reply simply.

I can see the anger in her eyes as she says "I _am_ a Justicar."

"A true Justicar is _always_ in charge of her emotions." I didn't mean to hurt her but I see it flash across her face before the neutral mask returns.

Before she can start explaining her actions I raise my hand and she settles down. "We will talk about your breach of the code that you are supposed to be following at another time. After that we will go home and you will complete your training. For now I am glad that I found you."

"I-I wanted to make you proud. To be a fully-fledged Justicar before you di-" She says to me quickly before I can say more. _Goddess I get so out of breathe now._  
"Enough Luna! I am speaking." She looks down at the ground. The pose she always takes when she is sad or ashamed. "You don't have to rush into being a Justicar. I am already so proud of you Luna."

She looks me in the eyes a small smile appearing. I continue speaking. "While you have been imprisoned here. Something significant has happened."

"Is Falere okay?" She asks worriedly.

I reassure her "Your older sister is fine. I need to talk to you about Commander Shepard a-"

"GODDESS! Do not start talking to me about her. Again. Why do you keep bringing her up! Why do you never talk about my Dad! I don't want to hear about how great she is. I get it! What I have never understood is why Dad never gets mentioned when they talk about Shepard!" Angry again she starts to pace from one side of the cell to the other. _If she could only control her emotions she would make a great Justicar one day._

 _This is not how I pictured having this conversation but it needs to be done. From Dr T'Soni's reaction, somehow Jane has returned again. I won't be here for much longer so I need her to watch over our daughter. If Luna will forgive me._

"The reason I talk to you about Commander Shepard and barely mention Lieutenant Simmons is because the Lieutenant is not your father. Shepard is."

Luna stops pacing. "N-No that's can't be true. Why...why would you lie to me?" Different emotions flash across her face. Anger, sadness, hate and love.

I explain to her my actions. How myself and Shepard as she already knew found comfort in each other's arms during our search for the Collectors. While Liara T'Soni shut her out and I struggled with my grief over Morinth. We were never in love but that she was the first true friend that I had in centuries. That I was glad when she reconciled with Dr T'Soni. _Though the doctor made it clear that she would not tolerate us being intimate again._ How she stopped me from committing suicide when the reapers stuck the monastery. How I began to feel that she would not survive the war. So when there was a party for the crews of the Normandy I melded with her and became pregnant. That I wanted some small part of this amazing woman to live on.

Then a month later the war ended and Shepard died again. Soon afterwards I found out that Liara was also pregnant. As Liara was Shepard's true love I decided to keep my own child's father a secret. So that she would not have to live with the burden of being the commander's first born child. The picture she has is of Shepard. But in it she is wearing the disguise she wore when we were trying to find Morinth in Omega.

Luna is crying holding herself. "So you have lied to me my whole life? Why tell me now?"

So I tell her. "I believe that she is alive again. On the citadel with Liara and one of her other children. With my health deteriorating and her return I believe that you deserve to know your father and that she deserves to know you."

 _The Citadel: The apartment of Liara T'Soni: Jane Shepard_

I yawn and snuggle closer to Liara behind me. She has her arms around me and her legs tangled in between my own.

She notices the movement and whispers seductively in my ear. "Ready for another go?"

I groan comically. "Not again Liara? Haven't we had enough sex over the last 24 hours?"

She moves quickly. Before I can react she is on top of me pinning me to the bed. "No." she states as a matter of fact. So we make love again.

Once we have finished she runs her arm up and down my body. "I love and hate the new changes. I miss the scars you got in our battles together. Though I do like how smooth your skin is now and how young/happy you look. "

I laugh. "I didn't exactly have much input." _Though I will admit that I think the only thing I do miss is the scar you gave me._ "Personally I still love yours. Though you have to tell me why you're slightly taller than me now. And why you are well... bigger up top."

She moves closer to me again. "I'm a matron now. When we go from maiden to Matron and Matron to Matriarch there are physiological changes."

I smile at her. "I wholeheartedly approve." I move in for a kiss.

We then hear someone enter the apartment. We both sit up and cover ourselves with the bed cover.

"Are you two done being gross yet?" Jenny yells from the living room. "I'm still traumatized from when I tried visiting four hours ago. I am never going to be able to say the word 'goddess' again."

Liara blushes. "We'll be out in a few minutes."

"Is it safe to wait here? Or do I need to run away in fear for my immortal soul?" She responds highly amused.

"Its fine wait there." I yell back out before Liara can turn an even deeper shade of blue.

We get dressed in silence. _At least Liara has normal clothes as well as dresses._ I put on some trousers and a shirt that Liara has stashed away in the back of the cupboard.

As she goes to leave the room I stop her. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Before we have to go out there are face the next crisis?"

Liara comes and stands in front of me. Taking my hands she places her forehead against mine and initiates a meld. She takes us to the captain's quarters on the Normandy SR-2.

"Is this okay Love?" She asks. I nod my head in agreement.

I start speaking. "I know I have no right to ask this of you again but was there anyone else?"

"You mean have I had any other bondmates? Been Intimate with anyone else?"

Even though I know we are in her mind I can't get myself to say the word 'yes'.

She senses my hesitation and takes it as a cue to continue talking. "Yes I have had other relationships. But no bondmates. I never found that special person who made me feel like you did."

 _I can't help but feel both happy and sad at what she has just said._ "You said if anything happened to me that you would move on and find someone else."

"I did Jenny. But it is hard to measure up to you. Not all Asari have multiple bondmates. And don't lie. You are secretly happy that there is no one else that I loved as much as you."

I let her feel my shame in response to what she has said. "That was wrong of me to feel like that. I am so so sorry."

She surrounds me with her joy. "It does not matter. I have you back. Will you be my bondmate again?"

"Like you even need my response."

So she starts the process. It was only when I saw her again after my resurrection that I realised our bond had gone. That I couldn't feel her in my mind at all. To be able to get that back if worth any pain.

Once it is done she separates our minds. But now as we are standing next to each other I can still feel her in my head. The further apart we are the less I can feel of her thoughts and feelings.

So I think at her. _Love you._ She then responds with _Love you too._

The lovely moment is ruined by Jenny. "Stop having sex and get a move on!"

As we walk out I say to Liara "Lovely daughter you have here."

"Do not blame me. She takes after you."

"She does not. I would never do that." I say with my head held high.

Liara smiles smugly at me. _That is not a good sign._ "So you didn't on multiple occasions get EDI to tell you when Garrus and Tali were getting romantic so that you could 'accidentally' walk in on them?" _Well she has got me there._ "Jenny is Miranda ready?"

 _I am about to answer with how the hell would I know I've been in there with you when I realise she is talking about our daughter called Jenny. That is going to take some getting used to._

"Yes she is at her lab. She was a bit cranky that I woke her up though."

 _I am not going to like this am I?_ I think at Liara. _You are going to get check out no arguments. As she fixed you the last time you died she is the best person I can think of to have a look at you now._

 _The Citadel: Miranda Lawson's Lab: Jenny T'Soni_

We enter Miranda's lab to find it empty apart from a Salarian assistant. When I say hello he stops what he is working on and comes over to where we are standing.

"Hello Dr Lawson will be here shortly. Is there any-" he notices my father and stops talking. He blinks a few times and just stares at her.

As we stand there in silence I decide to wave my hand in front of his face to get his attention. He notices and continues talking.

"Forgive me. That was very unprofessional. How should I address you?" He directs this at my father.

"You can call me She-" she begins saying but I have to interrupt to have some fun of my own.

"The correct way to address her is O Great and Humble Shepard. This is the way the crew of the Normandy addressed her during the war. Make sure the others know."

With that he bows and runs off. I look at my father. She is too stunned to speak. Mother shakes her gently. "I told you. She acts just like you."

Dad looks at me deadly serious and says. "Now all the crazies are going to refer to as that. I am _so_ getting you back for that."

I chuckle. "Bring it on."

After that we hear Miranda walk into the lab. "Apparently I should refer to you as I once did in the Normandy. You do know you can't self-apply the word humble?"

She leans on her walking stick. Even being over 200 years old Miranda hasn't stopped working. Her hair has turned grey and she now has a lot of wrinkles. Basically she looks like any normal human would at around 90 but better looking.

"Don't blame me. That was Jenny's wonderful idea." She then has a good look at Miranda. "Looks like your looks finally match your personality Miranda."

Miranda raises one of her eyebrows and looks at father. "And it doesn't surprise me that it took 200 years for you to get a nip n tuck and a boob job. Resurrecting you was easy. The hard part was making you look presentable, at least until I realised you were always looked that way."

Dad runs over to her and hugs her. Happily she says. "It is good to see a friendly face."

Miranda then goes over what she is going to do. A series of scans, exercises and blood work. The process takes a few hours to complete and father complains most of the time. _She never has liked doctors._

Once she has had a look at all of the results she gets us to sit down in the waiting room outside the lab. _That's not a good sign is it?_

Miranda settles down in her chair and asks. "Are you three ready for this?"

"No but let's get on with it." My father responds.

So she tells us and then shows us with scans what has happened to my father. She makes sure to dumb it down for us less scientifically enabled people.

In summary it looks like Father is now truly 50-50 between organic and cybernetic. A true synthesis between man and machine. She may look like a normal human woman but underneath she is totally different. All organs, muscles, blood vessels etc have been enhanced. She is now even stronger and faster than when Cerberus rebuilt her. Her skeleton structure has been replaced with an unknown substance that looks like the same material that covers the reapers.

As well as a heart she now has a miniaturised reaper power core that powers her cybernetics. This is also an advanced type of biotic amp built into her spinal column. There are amplifiers built into her bones that increases her biotic power. She can now also interface with computers through the 'metal strings' that she mentioned to me before. Finally due to these upgrades she will barely age at all. Meaning that her age span could be longer than that of an asari.

Father is quiet when Miranda stops talking. Then when mother is going to speak she says. "I need to go and get some fresh air." She then walks out.

My mother gets up and follows her. "I'll talk to her."

Leaving me alone with Miranda. Before I have to think of something to say my omni-tool helpfully starts beeping at me. I answer it. "T'Soni here."

A voice I don't recognise starts talking. "Sorry to disturb you Spectre T'Soni. Matriarch Asuna of the Prophets of Shepard wishes to talk to Commander Shepard."


	6. Chapter 6: First Impressions (Part 1)

**Author's Note: I haven't been feeling very well recently so I haven't had time to write as much as I wanted to. So I have split this chapter into 2. Hopefully I can get back to my normal release schedule next week. Thanks for reading!**

 _The Citadel: Outside the lab of Miranda Lawson: Jane Shepard_

I leave the lab and head in a random direction, making sure to keep to the areas where there are no people. _Damn it! Why does everybody think that it is okay to do these things to me!_ I punch the wall a couple of times and then collapse against it and fall to the floor trying not to cry.

After a few minutes I feel Liara's arms around me. "Talk to me."

"I can't. I don't think I will be able to probably articulate what is going on in my head."

She smiles at me and puts her forehead on mine initiating a meld. Once we reach a calm setting I let her know how I am feeling.

"I can't go through this again Liara. You know why they brought me back don't you?" I ask desperate.

I don't give her time to respond. "They want me to fight and win some war that is coming. That is why they've brought me back and upgraded me. Not for my happiness. Never for that." I hug her starting to cry into her shoulder. "I don't want to fight anymore. All I wanted to do after the war was to settle down with you. Raise some babies and leave Commander Shepard behind. Just be Jenny T'Soni. Loving bondmate of Liara T'Soni."

Liara holds me, sending calming thoughts my way. "It won't come to that Love. No one wants another galactic war. I know things are precarious between the prophets, the old machines, the council and the Angels. But I promise you I will not let things get that bad. I promise you."

I know that she can't really promise that. That there has to be hundreds of variables outside of her control. But still it helps to calm me. "Thanks Liara. It means a lot."

She ends the meld and pulls me up. Giving me a light kiss and then holding hands we walk back to the lab.

When we near the outside of the lab I can see Jenny pacing and talking into her omni-tool. She notices us, closes the omni-tool and walks quickly over to us.

"Thank the goddess you got back so quickly. Asuna leader of the Prophets wants to speak to you Dad. As soon as possible." Jenny tells me.

I can feel Liara tense up beside me. "That's the crazy person that has Benezia isn't it?"

She nods. "Okay. Tell her to come here. I need to have a few words to her about what she has been telling people."

Half an hour later she appears. Flanked by 2 guards. I am not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't this. She looks like a warrior. From the scar on her face to the white amour she is wearing. _I was expecting some sort of high and mighty, judgemental religious type._

Liara takes my hand and stands slightly in front of me. Asuna noticing this stops. She tells her guards to leave us. They don't look happy about it but they do go.

She addresses Liara. "I am not going to do anything drastic Dr T'Soni. I swear on Benezia's life that even if I reveal her to be a clone I will not attack her."

"W-where is she?" Liara asks her.

"At home. Mindoir if you didn't know." She looks me in the eyes watching my reaction. _Why on Earth is she there?_ "In her condition it is not advisable for her to travel."

"What have you done to her?" Liara biotics flare up and she walks up and stands face to face with her. Asuna barely reacts.

"Step away Doctor. Once I have confirmed whether that is Shepard standing there. I will answer you. Then answer any questions that I assume the Shepard will have." She replies calmly.

When Liara doesn't move I take her hand and almost drag her away from Asuna. "Get on with it." I tell her.

I expect her to ask some questions or insist on a meld or something but she doesn't. She takes out a dull black spherical object from one of the pockets she has around her waist.

"Take this." She holds it out for me to take.

I take a quick look at Liara. She doesn't seem perturbed by this so I assume it is safe to take. Once my hand touches the object it changes from the dull black colour to a bright white colour. I then hear a voice in my head, distinctively Prothean. It says. "Greetings. How may I be of assistance?"

I take a step back. The colour of the object changes back and she puts it away. For the first time I see some emotion on her face. She smiles at me and then inclines her head. "It is an honour to meet you."

 _I'm sure it is crazy person._ "Now tell me what has happened to Benezia. Now." I practically yell at her. The other questions can wait for the moment.

"Of course. Dr T'Soni. Spectre T'Soni. Would you come over here? Benezia has recorded a message for her father and I expect that you will want to see it as well." She brings up her omni-tool and then waits for the others to come over.

Once they do Asuna starts the message. Benezia is identical to her sister in looks. I also assume that she is the same height. From the way she acts in the video she seems a lot like Liara. Plus she is heavily pregnant. _Shit. A couple of days ago I didn't exist. Now I'm going to be a grandad._

She smiles hesitantly at the camera. "H-hello father. I-I can't believe that you are actually here. I wish that we had found you. I am assuming that _she_ is filling your head with lies about what we have done. It's not true. We have helped to change the galaxy. Just like you did. I know that when you see what we have built with your own eyes, you will be proud of us."

She takes a break with speaking and slowly runs her hand over her belly. "As I am sure you have already guessed I am pregnant. I am due in a few days' time, her name is going to be Diana. Asuna is the father and we are bonded. No matter what _she_ says I have not been brainwashed or anything like that. I joined up with the prophets after much discussion with Asuna. After my failure to become a soldier like you I was lost. Asuna made me see that there were other ways I could live up to your legacy. That is why I am now a teacher. I teach the children here all about the protheans. I love it."

"I want you to be here father. When I give birth. The two most important individuals in my life. So I um... will see you soon hopefully. I love you." With that the message ends and Asuna closes the omni-tool.

Jenny is the first to speak. "Is there a non prothean version of that message?" That confuses me for a moment. Then I realise that due to the cipher in my head I have always understood the language perfectly.

"No I am afraid not. Your parents can give you the details later." Asuna replies amused.

Liara is shaking beside me. "What have you done to her!?" She yells.

"Love her, care for her, listen to her and help her realise her potential." I swear she almost smirks at Liara. "Even though she only invited Shepard, Liara and Jenny you are welcome to come too."

Jenny has taken her mother's hand and is slowly pulling her away for us. I take the opportunity to ask her a few questions of my own.

"Why have you been calling me a prophet?" I ask.

"Because that is what the protheans made you."

"I must have missed that memo. Care to elaborate on that?" I respond sarcastically.

"When you encountered the beacon it changed you. Made you ready for the task ahead of you. Because of it you were able to unite the galaxy. _You_ changed everything. The krogan are back in large numbers and spreading across the galaxy. The Geth and the Quarians now live together in relative peace."

"All the beacon gave me is nightmares. The rest. The rest anybody else would have done when the reapers arrived. The only way we were going to survive was together." I tell her knowing that I am right.

She chuckles to herself. "You really believe that don't you?"

I am not sure why but her laughing at me really annoys me. "Shut up. You don't get to talk to me like that. Not after what you have done in my name. Taking over planets? Forced conversions? Whatever the fuck you have done to my daughter? Why shouldn't I take you out here and now?" I light up my biotics to further illustrate my point.

She doesn't bat an eyelid at my actions and tells me calmly. "We have made mistakes. I was very overzealous in wanting to spread your mess-"

I interrupt her by moving into her personal space and grabbing her shoulders. "Your actions have NOTHING to do with me!" I yell in her face.

Again she doesn't flinch. _Okay slightly impressed._ "As I was saying before you interrupted me. I made mistakes in how I approached spreading the message. But with your daughter's help I have managed to expel the more extreme elements of our group. You have probably heard of them. They call themselves the Prophet's Judgement. They do not represent us. At all. Like any religious group we have extremists."

She takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. "Please come to Mindoir. See what we have accomplished there and on other planets. We have individuals from every race there living together as one. That does not happen anywhere else in the galaxy. If we were all like that there would be no more war. We would all be the same." _She really doesn't see how that could be a problem can she?_

I let her go. "I will be going there anyway. To get my daughter and then leave. I want no part of your craziness. Though there are a couple of things that I think I should make you aware of. The first being that I knew a prothean. Javik. They didn't join together with the other races in peace or whatever rubbish you spout. They were conquerors. The races they encountered had very little choice in joining up."

She sighs and looks at me quizzically. "So you will take the word of one individual over all of the evidence that has been found over the years? Until he appeared that wasn't the general consensus."

I try not to roll my eyes at her. "Yeah I know. But _he_ was a prothean. It kinda overwrites everything else."

She smiles. "Yes I concede your point. But he was born at the end of the prothean cycle. After decades of war. His view would be different. At that time the other races that were still alive were probably being used as cannon fodder. How else would you view them? Though that might not be true either. Have you ever considered that he could have been highly xenophobic? To be an individual like the members of Terra Firma? That is what I believe. He was not the best example of his species."

"He was a jerk I agree. Doesn't mean he was wrong though." I tell her remembering how he acted around the rest of us on the Normandy.

"Say you are right. Does it change anything? Does it make what we have been doing null and void? It won't stop me from doing what I think is right. Once you see Mindoir. You will see the truth." She says confidently.

 _Doesn't look like I am going to convince her of the truth. At least not at the moment. Hopefully I will have better luck with Benezia. Let's try my other point._ "Let us talk about the reapers. When I was on the crucible I was given a choice. The reapers actions after the beam are a result of that choice."

Asuna stops smiling. Her face turns deadly serious. _Looks like I have rattled her know._ "What choice did you make?"

 _I am not giving her the full details yet. Not until I trust her._ "The one that I thought would save the most lives. The reapers are following my commands. I doubt that they will attack you unless provoked. Though I will admit I did not expect them to start resurrecting dead species." _That was a bit of a shock._

She looks deep in thought. "Fascinating. At least I know why they left after the beam. Again how do you know that they _are_ following your commands?"

Again I respond sarcastically. "Well we're not all dead. That was a pretty big clue."

I think I may be annoying her a little point. From the way she responds I think she is finding it hard to get her temper in check. "Yes I know that. But there entire purpose is to destroy. Has it not occurred to you that their actions now could be a way to circumvent your commands with the resurrected species? That they could use them to finish what they started? You trust them 100%?"

I answer her honestly. "No I don't trust the reapers. After what they have done, how could I? But the cycle has been broken. _We_ all saw to that. I won't condemn them without proof. To have that second chance ripped from them. No I won't allow that."

"But if there was proof? You would support their destruction?" She asks.

I close my eyes. Not wanting to answer. "Yes. If there was no other choice."

"Okay that is all I needed to know for the moment. Please do come to Mindoir. It will mean the world to Benezia. Farewell Shepard." And with that she leaves.

Okay. At least I have a path to getting to Benezia now. All I need to do is somehow get her out of there and un-brainwash her. Simple right?

I walk back over to Liara and Jenny. I expected them to be following my conversation but they are talking into their omni-tools. I get their attentions by tapping on their shoulders. Liara jumps slightly.

She hugs me and says. "Thank the goddess she is gone. I thought she would try to take you by force."

I explain to them both what they missed and they inform me who they have been talking to. Apparently both the Council and the Angel Queen want to talk to me. _Fuck. All I want to do is see Benezia. To make sure she is safe. Not forgetting my grandchild. I am unsure how much more of this I can take._

Knowing that I wasn't going to get anywhere else very quickly I agreed to meet them. Though I will get through both these meetings today. Otherwise someone is getting a punch to the face for delaying me.


	7. Chapter 7: First Impressions (Part 2)

**Author's Note: Here is the second part of the chapter. Thanks for your patience.**

 _Outside the Council chambers: Jane Shepard_

"Well that was a gigantic waste of time." I grumble to Liara and Jenny.

"Well you could've um… Been a bit more diplomatic love." She smiles hesitantly at me.

 _I guess that is true._ But I couldn't help it. They were droning on with their political talk. I hate that. They could've just said something along the lines of welcome back, thanks for all that you have done. But no they didn't. They blabbed on and on.

So once I got bored of them taking it in turns to welcome me back I interrupted them. _They weren't very happy about that._ I told them what was going to happen. That I wasn't going to be a spectre again, that I wasn't going back to the Alliance, that I was going to live my own life. And if they had a problem with that then they could go fuck themselves.

After that I walked out of the chambers to meet up with Liara and Jenny. Now all I need to do is get this meeting with the Angel Queen over and done with and then I can go and get Benezia.

As I am about to leave I see 2 of the councillors approaching us. Urdnot Grunt of the Krogans and councillor Tevos of the Asari. Grunt is the first to approach me. He looks me straight in the eyes.

"That really you Shepard?" He asks me in that rough voice of his.

"Yes Grunt it is me. If it will help you to believe me I would be more than willing to fight you again. For old times' sake." _When we were fighting the collectors before we visited Tuchanka we fought whenever he had too much energy. Plus the crew would always take bets on who was going to win._

"Looking at you now, not sure that you would prove much of a challenge." He says as he looks me over. _Well with me looking younger and not having the muscle mass I had I suppose I can see where he is coming from._

"Oh Grunt. After all we have been through. I would have thought you would know by now to never underestimate me." I say in a fake disappointed voice.

He does that "heh-heh-heh" laugh of his and then tells me. "Let me know the time and place Shepard. I am going to _destroy_ you." With that he turns around and walks away.

This then allows Tevos to walk up to me. She doesn't seem to have been phased by the conversation that she has just witness. _Though I suppose working with him as part of the council for quite a few decades must have desensitised her to Grunt's personality._

"Shepard. I am glad that I caught you before you left. During the war I never got the chance to apologise to you. If the Council had listened to you we might have been better prepared. I also wanted to personally thank you for saving us all. I know that you have said that you want nothing more to do with us but if you ever wanted to voice your opinion on a matter. I would gladly welcome your advice."

 _Wow was not expecting that. Though I suppose that she has had a lot of time to think about things. Now how to respond?_

I was going to get angry again but then I felt Liara put her hand in mine. Her thoughts brushing against mine. " _Don't go opening old wounds Shepard. She has lost much since you last saw her. Maybe it is time to build some bridges?_ " A part of me doesn't want to follow her advice. But more importantly, I don't want to disappoint her.

So I swallow my anger and instead say. "Thank you for the apology Councillor. I'm glad that you can now see that I was only trying to warn everyone about what was going to happen. Though I can also see things from your point of view. That I must have seem like a crazy person. All I want at the moment is to spend time with my family. Though if I have any opinions about your choices I will let you know"

Liara lets me know that this was the right thing to say. Tevos smiles and nods her head at me and then holds out her hand for me to shake it. I shake it, she says her goodbyes and then leaves.

We now head off to Liara's office where the Angel Queen is waiting.

 _Liara's Offices: Angels embassy Jane Shepard_

Before we enter the office Liara gives me a crash course on how to interact with the Queen. Allow her to talk first. Bow to her when first meeting her. Don't stare at her crown. Don't answer a question with a question. Etc etc. Basically treat her with a lot of respect.

So after Liara enters the room introduces Jenny I make my entrance. As instructed I bow before saying hello. This also gives me the opportunity to have a proper look at her for the first time. If she was human I would estimate her age to be around 60. (Though from what Liara has told me she is actually around 190 years old. The angels have a lifespan around 250 years.) Her body looks similar in shape to a humans though she has longer arms and it looks like she has claws and has light brown skin. Her eyes and wings are pure white. Looks like they don't have any irises. She has long greying hair similar to a human's but the individual strands look a lot thicker.

When she doesn't respond I am not sure what to do. I try and glance at Liara to see if I have done something wrong but she is being distracted by Jenny. After nearly a minute of waiting she speaks.

"So it really is you? The Commander Shepard?" Her voice is quite soft and almost musical.

"As far as I can tell? Yes it is me." I jokingly respond.

The neutral expression disappears from her face and is replaced with a look of pure joy. She runs over to me and hugs me. Not expecting it I keep my arms by my sides. Afterwards she takes a step back and holds my shoulders by her arms. _The claws are sticking into my skin._ "I cannot wait for the others to meet our saviour. The first mother said you would be returning soon."

A bit dumbfounded I ask. "When you say saviour do you mean me?"

"Of course. Without the decisions that you made we would not exist. My race would not have had a second chance at existence. For that you are our saviour and our first Queen." With that she takes off her crown and puts it on my head. I can hear Jenny trying not to laugh at my new predicament.

I quickly take the crown off and try and put it back on her head. She dodges my attempts. I hear more laughing. So I decide to place it down on the table and get back to talking to her.

"Who do you mean by 'the first mother'?"

"I believe that you would know her by the name of 'reaper'. And before you ask yes I do know that she was made from my people in a previous cycle. But the first generation of our second chance at existence was born from her. What else should we call her?" _Genocide monster?_

I try not to say the first thing to pop into my head. So instead I ask. "Are you a threat to the other races?"

"No but I don't expect you to take my word for it. Come and see us when you are able. You can see how we act as a race and you can speak to the 'first mother'."

Before I can respond she leaves. I turn to Liara. "I wasn't actually done talking to her."

Liara in good humour tells me. "She keeps her own timetable. I don't know why but whenever we are discussing things she will abruptly leave like that. I think it is her way of keeping control."

Okay I guess our next step is going to Mindoir. Hopefully they will keep the craziness to a minimum.

 _Terminus Systems: The Sovereign: Garrus Vakarian III_

"So what do you have to report?" I look at my communications specialist.

The specialist stands salutes and then speaks. "From what our spies on the Citadel have told us it looks like the false Shepard and the T'Soni's will be heading to Mindoir now they have finished speaking to Asuna."

 _Not unexpected. She wants the clone under her control as soon as possible. She will expect me to react as well. I will need to throw something at her or otherwise she will get suspicious about my lack of response._

My second in command speaks. "What should our next course of action be sir?"

"Get a squad together. Around 10-12 individuals of all of the races. Make sure that they are some of our best soldiers. There should be normal soldiers, biotics and engineers. Send them in one of our smaller frigates to intercept the vessel that the false Shepard will be travelling in. Use that new Salarian technology that interrupts relay travel. Capture the ship and kill everyone on board." After I finish speaking he gets to work arranging things.

 _I will pray for the soldiers that we send. If they have given the clone a good amount of training then with her, Dr T'Soni and Spectre T'Soni I don't think that they will stand a chance. But it should convince them that we consider them a threat._


	8. Chapter 8: Travelling

**Author's Note: Hi All. I expect these chapters will most likely come out once every two weeks. If anyone has any tips on writing let me know. I have never really tried to do anything like this before. Thanks for reading!**

 _The ship of Spectre T'Soni: on-route to Mindoir: Jane Shepard_

 _Man what a crazy few days._ I really don't know how to explain to myself what has happened over the last couple of days or how I feel about it. _No that is a lie. People thinking that I am some kind of a religious figure? That is fuckin crazy! Or how about being made a Queen? Again absolutely fuckin crazy!_ I wonder what it says about me that I am starting to miss the times when everybody thought that I was crazy or when everybody was relying on me to win the war?

All I want is to be with my family. Liara seems to have accepted me back okay. _Or she is waiting and there will be some kind of anger explosion down the line._ From what I have seen so far Jenny has a good head on her shoulders. _I think we will get along well. We have had a few laughs so far. And her being a spectre? At first I was horrified by the thought of her following in my footsteps. But now? I think I can deal with it. Though I know that I am going to flip out on her the first time that she gets injured. I guess the best way to avoid that is to make sure she stays out of trouble on this journey. I also hope that once her and her sister are in the same room we can have a long talk and get to know each other. I just hope that we can get through that without them hating me._

That leads me to think of Benezia. How on Earth am I going to get through to her that I am not a 'prophet'? That I am just a human being. How do I do that without crushing her? With leaving her some kind of positive image of me? _I can feel the hate and self-loathing building within me at the thought. I am going to destroy her aren't I? Maybe it would have been better if I stayed dead._

Liara wakes next to me. Jenny's ship that we are on is only built for her to travel on. While she is piloting, we are sitting together on her bed. Soon after we left the Citadel Liara feel asleep on my shoulder. I am guessing she sensed my negative emotions swirling through my head through our bond. She pushes herself up so that she is sitting and looking at me. Her eyes turn black and we enter a meld.

"What is the matter love?" She asks concerned.

So I tell her what I am thinking. How I want my daughter to think the best of me without destroying her. How I hate myself for what I am about to do. Liara sends love and comfort towards me.

"That is not your fault Jenny. I failed both of our daughters a long time ago." I can feel the pain radiating off of her as she says it.

"No Li. How can it be your fault? I went and died on you. Again. Leaving you to raise them on your own. If there was any other way to survive and be with you, I would have taken it."

She grows angry at me. "Maybe if you destroyed the reapers you might have lived! Before your implants failed and you died we might have been able to find you! But no you didn't choose that option. You choose 'control'. Why by the goddess did you do that?"

 _I guess this is the first wave of anger I am going to be receiving in the coming days. So why did I do it? Take 'Control'? The simple reason is that I wanted to save as many people as I could._ So I explain to her my reasoning on my decision. I don't know if there is an afterlife or not. I may have already been there twice by now. Who knows? But I had to make the choice that I could live with forever. I have already dammed myself enough during the war and before. _The Alpha Relay. How long will I burn for that? Even if it was the right decision to make at the time._

So why didn't I choose 'Destroy'? Yes it would have destroyed all of the reapers but it would have destroyed EDI and the Geth as well. A genocide. No I wasn't going to have that mark on my soul. That was why I saved the Rachni. I didn't choose 'Synthesis' for the simple fact that I didn't know what would actually happen. Would we all be the same? One race? That had no differences at all? Would people be able to cope with the fact that there bodies has been changed without their permission? No I wasn't going to make a decision where I had no clue as to what the consequences would be.

So I choose 'Control'. The reapers would help rebuild and protect the balance between organic and artificial life. At least again that is what I expected to happen. It looks like the reapers choose to interpret my commands a little differently. _Resurrecting dead races! I was definitely not expecting that._

I let her see my thoughts on the matter. She withdraws from me in the meld. I am hurt a bit by that. _I did the best that I could._ I think to myself sadly. When she returns I feel hopeful as I can sense acceptance from her.

"I understand Jane. Why you made that choice. The most selfish part of me wishes you had chosen differently. That you had given yourself a chance at survival. Mostly I am angry at myself. Oh love I have made such a mess of things." Liara starts crying.

 _The ship of Spectre T'Soni: on-route to Mindoir: Liara T'Soni_

 _How can I explain everything that went wrong to her? How I promised myself before Jenny and Benezia were born that I would be a better mother than my mother. That I would always be there for them. Accept their choices. To be there at their most important moments. How far I have fallen from those ideals._

Jenny hugs me tightly and kisses me lightly atop of my crests. "Can you tell me what happened Li? Or failing that can you show me?"

I owe her the truth. No matter how painful it is. So I show her in the meld what happened. After Commander Jane Shepard died for the second time I didn't lose myself as I did the last time. Maybe it was because we had a proper chance to say goodbye? Though I believe it was due to the fact that I was pregnant with her children. It kept me going and gave me something to concentrate on. Otherwise I think my grief would have consumed me.

After they were born and for the first twenty years of their lives everything was perfect. They were my little bundles of joy. Playing with them and watching them grow, my only sadness was that you were not here with me watching this. Feron had taken over the vast majority of my shadow broker duties. I would spent an hour a day checking the network to make sure that everything was going smoothly.

It was after their 20th birthday party when things started going wrong. The children were in what you would consider the end of their primary school education. Feron was murdered on his way to meet me on the Citadel. He was killed by a sniper. I was growing bored on my own at home and wanted to become more involved with the Shadow Broker network again.

I wasn't expecting it. There was no chatter about an attempt on his life. He was the first person close to me that I had lost since the war. I did not handle it well. Like before I pushed the individuals closest to me away. I hired a human nanny to look after the children. A woman named Diana. It took me 15 years to unravel the mystery of why he died. I spent so much time thinking it had to do with him being the Shadow Broker, when it had nothing to do with that at all. He had been murdered due to a feud his family had with another. Even though he was estranged from his family they killed him anyway. So I killed them back. I am not proud of what I did to them. But I let my rage take me over.

After that I had to let myself heal and become the Asari that you loved again. Once I was finally ready to be a proper mother again, too much time had passed. Our daughters were the equivalent of human teenagers and could barely tolerate the presence of their absentee mother. Whenever they wanted something or needed to talk to someone they went to Diana. It hurt so much but I understood their decision.

To try and bond with them again I tried to talk to them about you. Before then I had told them that you were their father and that we were bonded. But I hadn't gone into much detail about how we meet and the war against the reapers. I wanted to wait until they were older and could cope with everything that had happened. I told this to Diana. She agreed to do what I had said and to teach them all about humanity.

But she didn't keep her promise. She gave them a romanticized version of everything that happened, of their father. She never talked to them about Virmire. About the Alpha relay. About the choices you made during the war that cost people their lives. They only heard about the hero who defied the odds and did what no one thought was ever possible. She would tell Benezia and Jenny that this made them so special. Better than others and that they would become Spectres like her. That they were the children of the Prophet.

There were 2 important things that I did not know about Diana. One was that she was an ex of yours. The other was that she was one of the first followers of Asuna. When I found out what she had been telling my children I fired her and forbade Jenny and Benezia from seeing her again. That was a mistake. Benezia especially rebelled against me. Nothing I did for her was right. While Jenny had the aptitude for becoming a soldier, Benezia did not. Every failure of hers was my fault. I was plotting against her because I didn't believe in her like Diana did. When she failed to enlist she run away. That was when she met Asuna.

With Jenny I was able to make progress. Over the years she forgave me for my failures as a mother. We are close now and I am thankful for that. She reminds me so much of you Jane. I think she is the only reason I have been able to keep going all these years. I also believe that I know why she and I get along and why I and Benezia do not. Jenny takes after you and Benezia takes after me. It looks like bad mother-daughter relationships run in the family.

Jane hugs me tighter and sends love and acceptance at me through the meld. "You did the best you could Liara. Even though you don't get along with her it sounds like Benezia is an amazing teacher now. Jenny is a Spectre. How many people do they let become a Spectre? Very few."

With determination she says. "I am going to fix this Liara. We will be one big happy family in the end."

I wish I could believe her but I can't. Benezia hates me. We sit in silence for a while and then she asks. "Li you said her name was Diana right?" I nod. "I um uh don't remember any Dianas."

 _How many people did she go out with?_ I have never really asked her about any of her previous exes. So in the meld I show her an image of Diana when I first met her. Long blond hair, blue eyes, white skin. A bigger woman now but I would assume in her twenties she would have been quite the beauty.

She walks around the image of Diana a couple of times. I see the realisation appear in her eyes. "Holy shit, that's Candy."

"You dated a woman named Candy?" I can't help but ask amused.

Jane looks slightly embarrassed as she scratches the back of her head with her hand. "That was her model name."

She goes on to explain how they meet. After the Skyllian Blitz she was given leave. Wanting to escape the memories and the attention she was getting she ran off to Omega. She was taken to Aria T'Loak after killing a Batarian drug lord who wanted to avenge his people or something. She was never clear on the details. After he and his men were killed by her she was taken to Aria. That was their first encounter and how she met Diana. Aria had invested in a modelling firm and had demanded to see all of their models and see if they were adequate or not.

After turning down a job offer from Aria she went down to Afterlife. While drinking Diana introduced herself and they hit it off. They were together for 3 years, which according to Jane consisted of 'hooking up' whenever she was on shore leave. They broke up as Diana wanted her to leave the Navy and for them to get married. Jane didn't want to leave her career. Once they broke up they never saw each other again.

I have to ask. "How did you not know her real name after 3 years together?"

Jane responds very quietly. "For me it wasn't a very serious relationship. I wanted someone to keep me company when I was on leave. Plus at the time she hated the name Diana. That was a good girl's name and she was most _definitely_ not a good girl." She grins to herself.

 _I guess I don't need to figure out what 'keep me company' is code for._ "Well you certainly left an impression on her." I let my voice go cold when I say that.

Jane grabs my hands and says lovingly. "You are her superior in every way." _That's much better._ "We will fix things with Benezia Liara I promise you." _With my bondmate back a small part of me hopes she can help me get my daughter back._

 _The ship of Spectre T'Soni: on-route to Mindoir Jenny T'Soni_

 _Dad is going to prefer Benezia isn't she? Everybody always prefers her._ I think this to myself despondently. Mother always got along better with her. Being the smart articulate one. She never did know how to bond with me. _Maybe I am being too hard on her again. These past few decades have been great. She has gotten to know me. She even admitted to me that I reminded her of dad a lot and because of that it was easier to interact with Benezia at times. Plus they are both really smart and could have those conversations that go right over my head._

At least I don't think that father is going to be some sort of perfect being. _That_ is going to be a shock to Benezia's system. _Maybe me and Dad can use our experiences as Spectres to get to know each other?_

As I mull this over my ship suddenly stops dead. "SHIT" I yell. I try to get us moving again but it is too late. I can see the frigate fast approaching. We won't stand a chance against it. To prove the point it fires at us disabling the engines. As they haven't utterly destroyed us I guess they are looking for Dad.

I ran to my parents. "They've killed the engines and are taking the ship aboard their frigate. I am unsure what their next course of action is but we will mostly likely be fighting." They nod their heads at me. A look of utter calm and battle readiness passing over their faces.

I open up my weapon cache. "Take what you what. I only have one set of armor from Serrice Council that I normally wear." I try and give it to my mother but she refuses.

"You will be wearing that Jenny." She tells me in a voice that will not accept no for an answer. Not knowing how much time we will have I nod my head and put it on. My armour is pure black. _I have always liked that colour._ But has red stripes going down the middle of my arms and legs. I turn on the shield barrier. _I have always preferred to keep my biotics for offensive use only._ I also put on my Sentry Interface. _This way I can more easily track my enemies._

For weapons I take out a locust and hand my dad the spare I keep. I want to take my Katana put as it actually belongs to my Dad I pass it over to her. "This is mine isn't it?" I smile and nod my head. "It has saved my life numerous times. Plus I liked having it near me. It felt like you were always with me." I fail to hide my blush on that last comment.

"I'm glad. I always found it useful when facing phantoms and husks. I'm not sure how useful it could have been for you though?"

"You would be surprised. After the war bladed weapons have made a bit of a comeback. Most people aren't that afraid of guns. A sword though? That is another story."

Now that we are ready we head to the door. I activate the exterior cameras and link the video output to all of our omni-tools.

I take command of the situation. "Looks like there are ten of them outside of varying races. _There is a hanar out there! I thought they only fought in the movies!_ 2 engineers are setting up turrets outside the door. Four soldiers are taking up positions behind some crates on the left and right hand sides of our ship. Two biotic adepts are setting up a barrier around the turrets. A hanar seems to be leading them and is shouting commands. Finally it looks like someone is trying to hack the lock." _That isn't happening anytime soon._

I turn and look at my parents. "Any thoughts?"

Dad looks impressed. "Let's see if they make any demands."

If on cue we hear the Hanar speaking. "This one demands that the false Shepard reveal herself. She will then be executed immediately for this affront to the true Prophet. If she consents her companions will only be imprisoned and then tried."

Dad looks at us and then says jokingly. "Anyone want to take him up on his offer? I assume your trials will also end in executions as well?"

"Even so. The offer is tempting. I'm still not _totally_ convinced you are my bondmate." My mother says back falling back into an old habit of theirs from the war.

"Well then. The next time we are alone I will have to see what I can do to rectify that." _Seriously? Flirting now? My parents are mad._

The humour is gone from Dad's voice when she next speaks. "We are going to do something that they will not expect. Some shock and awe. Follow my lead ladies. Concentrate on the soldiers. I will handle the biotics."

She pulls out the katana and engages her biotics. _The red glow is a little off putting_. I watch her power build and then she lashes out with a push. The ship groans as the door is ripped off of the ship. _I will miss this ship. It has a lot of good memoires associated with it._ The door hits and instantly kills the person trying to hack the door and the engineers. The biotics are also momentarily dazed from their barrier being smashed. My father charges at them.

I look to my targets. Again they are momentarily shocked by what has happened. I throw a warp at them and switch my ammo to incendiary. The human is caught by the warp but the krogan regained his senses before being caught. I shoot and kill the human and advance on the krogan. He fires at me but my shields absorb the hits. The best thing about fighting a krogan is their size. Even as he hides I still get a couple of good shots at him. As his attention his on me he has forgotten about the singularity behind him. I detonate it. It doesn't kill him but destroys his shields. I fire again. He hisses as the rounds burn him. I grab him with my biotics and fling him across the room.

He hits the crates where the other soldiers are firing at my mother. Before they can pick themselves up we eliminate them. We both turn to help my father. But she is already finished with her targets and is cleaning the blood from her katana.

In a calm serious voice she says. "You were right Jenny. My blade scared the crap out of them."

The hanar points his weapons at us from across the room by the elevator. Dad doesn't move. "Put the weapons down or we will kill you." The hanar complies.

"What do we do now?" I ask my parents.

My mother looks at my father. She says. "We take over the ship."


	9. Chapter 9: What are you Thinking?

**Author's Note: Thanks again for the helpful comments. It means a lot!  
**

 _The Old Machine Collective: The Centurion_

I enter the collective and await the arrival of the others. How things have changed these past two hundred years. I look at my digital self. So different from before. After the Shepard's choice we have all begun to slowly change. Each of us that remains has become more unique as time passes. To represent the races we were created from. To go from machines of death to something else.

I look like one of the Acaradians. A race that lived on an ocean world that no longer exists. The 'reapers' destroyed their ocean world after enough of the race was reaped to create me. That was 250,000 years ago. The reason the planet was destroyed was due to the acardians ability to blend into their environment. Not just camouflage. They became one with their surroundings, their skin texture changes to reflect the surface they are camouflaged against. No technology could detect them. But it didn't work in their cities, their ability only works in natural surroundings. The reapers were able to find them there. They knew that they didn't get all of them so it was decided it was better to destroy the world.

An Acaradian is a water breather. So when they left their world to explore others they had to wear suits to protect them. Their skin and colour is similar to a shark from Earth. _Interesting. Why did I automatically compare them to an animal from Earth? The Shepard's influence runs deeper than I originally thought._ They have no legs but they have a large tail allowing them to be capable of large bursts of speed. Arms that only just reach to the waist with a fin on each forearm. Blue eyes and a large mouth filled with pointed teeth. When they travelled the galaxy it was said that when an acaradian smiles your death was soon to follow.

Three others enter the collective. All of the other 'Old Machines' have for the moment returned to dark space. Awaiting the signal that allows each one of them to return and see if they can resurrect the race that they were created from. If they can. I would assume the other races of the galaxy would be shocked to learn that only four of us are currently active in the galaxy. _There used to be 5. I wonder if Harbingers gambit resurrecting the Shepard will pay off?_

To my left is the First Mother of the angels. _She looks remarkably similar to the angels queen in appearance._ In front of me is Gemini. _Another human name._ The 2 symbiotic species of Saburn 2. At the moment this old machine appears as a Geth platform and a Quarian male. There role is to act as an intermediately to the Geth and Quarians whenever troubles arise. Finally to my right is Su'Tar. Created from the Kathar of the planet Cemar. In their cycle 400,000 years ago they were the apex race. A race of warriors that I would say are a mixture between the Turians and Krogan. Warriors with a code of honour that when enraged can barely be controlled or stopped. They were constantly on the lookout for enemies to fight, to prove their worth. In looks their bodies are like the centaurs of Earth mythology but reptilian. They have large black eyes, brown muddy coloured scales with arms that barely lift off of the ground. At the end of each arm are three long black claws.

I turn and look at First Mother. "How are the angels doing?"

The First Mother looks up a smile appearing on her face. Confidently she says. "Well. More and more angels are born every day and are acclimatising to the planet. With the help of the Shepard's bondmate I do not think it will be long before they are allowed to join the other races of the council. As long as the Prophets do not interfere."

I nod my head. _Good at least we have proof of concept now._ I turn to Su'Tar and ask. "How are the Kathar doing?"

He tenses and looks at each of us in turn bearing his teeth and hissing. _I would assume that is some kind of sign of displeasure from that race. Note to self for the future. See if we can find a way to stop us from adopting the mannerisms of the races we were created from._ In a rough uncultured voice he says. "Not well. They believe that they are unbeatable. They refused to believe what I said. To further illustrate this point they attacked me. I was forced to defend myself. They are now all dead. I do not believe they will ever be able to cope with the fact that they were reaped. I do not believe that they can successfully resurrected."

 _That was a viable outcome. Not every race can be returned._ "Noted. Remove all trace of your actions from the planet and return to dark space."

Su'Tar disappears from the collective. I now look to Gemini. "Are the Geth and Quarians cooperating?"

The Geth and Quarian avatars look to each other. Unlike the others there is no expression on their faces as they speak in unison, both of their voices sounding like the synthesised voice of the Geth. "For the moment yes. But as the Geth become more individualistic more problems are arising. They grow angry at what they see as second class treatment from the rest of the galaxy. Soon if they are not more widely accepted they will turn to more drastic methods."

"Okay if the situation escalates call an emergency meeting."

Now to my own actions. Very slowly and very carefully I have been cultivating a network of agents throughout the galaxy. The majority of them do not know who they are reporting to. That knowledge is only available to my most trusted lieutenants. All so that I can keep abreast of what is happening and try to influence events when needed. At the moment I have 2 main concerns. The Prophet's Judgement and an unknown group.

"As to my own progress. I have little to report. I have had little success getting any agents into the Prophet's Judgement. To join one must be almost zealous in their belief. It is something we have not so far been able to replicate. Though I do know that they are somewhere in the Terminus Systems."

I start to 'swim' around the others. A sign of worry. "With regards to the group that destroyed Harbinger, I have made no progress. I do not believe that they are operating in the known galaxy. I must therefore conclude that they came from another. We do not know what their end goal is. But from their actions so far I believe that they want a war between the Prophets and the rest of the galaxy. This must not happen."

I 'swim' to the First Mother. "The Shepard will most likely go to you. To investigate the Angels. Try to convince her of what is happening."

I assume my original position in front of them. "If needs be we will intercede in this war and stop both sides. We will follow the Shepard's commands, even if that means stopping her."

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 _The other side of the beacon: The Scientist_

I look at each of the clones in their tubes that we have left of Commander Jane Shepard. The leftmost clone is the youngest and the rightmost clone is the oldest. _5 of them in total_. The oldest clone is the same age the commander was when the war ended. Red hair, green eyes _getting the red glow behind them was a challenge_ , small nose with freckles below each eye. Each and every scar she had has been painstakingly applied to her body. Muscular build but still feminine.

The youngest clone is around 12 years old. Small for her age, unassuming. She looks like any other girl her age. Though the face and the hair match the older version. _Without the red glow behind the eyes._

The in between clones are aged 16, 23 and 28. Per the general's instructions each of them has been implanted with the knowledge that they need. The youngest (Alpha) will act as an assassin. Very few species or individuals suspect a child. She will be able to get in and out of most locations with ease. _I do not approve of this but what the general wants the general gets._

The 16 year old Shepard (Beta) has been given the best biotic implants and training we could give her. Again we hope that due to her age she will be underestimated.

The 23 year old (Pi) will act as a Spy. Given her age and the fact that her features have been 'enhanced'. Her primary role will be to act as a seductress or a dancer. To gather information from individuals when they least expect it. In most high end establishments there is a lookalike of Shepard. A lot of individuals like to act out fantasies with them. The prime examples of this are humans and the asari.

The 28 year old (Sigma) has had her biotics dampened so that they are non-existent. To compensate for this she has been given a wide variety of training from human, turian and salarian sources. Her job is to be a mercenary operating out of Omega. This way we can keep track of what is happening in the Terminus Systems. _As long as she does not attract the attention of Aria T'Loak._

The oldest Shepard (Omega) will be sent when the time is right against the original. With the information we have at our disposal we believe that she will act and fight _exactly_ the same as the original Shepard would. With the upgrades we have given to her biotic amps, she should be stronger than Shepard was when she ended the war. _Unknown if she can stand up against the biotics of the reaper enhanced Shepard though._

I send each of them off to have their training evaluated. So that we can see if they have fully absorbed the information that was given to them in their tubes. In one week's time they will be set off to do their individual tasks.

 _This is not right. This is not how we should return to the galaxy after our exile._ I shake my head at the thought. Very, very dangerous to think like that. Do I want to end up in re-education? No. I believe in the empire. It is right that we return. _But do we have to do it like this? Taking over? Why can't we co-exist with them?_ Because they know our past and will not trust us.

I wonder to myself. _Why am I having these traitorous thoughts?_ The answer to that is at home in my quarters.

After a long day at work overseeing the status of the clones I head home. Once inside I touch my wife and we share our experiences of what has happened today. I can't help the small smile that appears on my face. _Our daughter learns fast._ Though that is to be expected. I created her to be smarter than the rest.

I walk over to my daughter and sit down on the floor. She doesn't notice me at first. Too busy on her learning games on our computer to notice me. I don't mind to be honest. I love the look of concentration that appears on her small face. The way her mouth sounds out some of the words, how her green eyes narrow blocking everything else out and the way her red hair moves slightly reflecting the light. _I am unsure what the norm is for human hair length but I like hers long._

When she hears the success sound on the computer she quickly looks up. She notices me, her eyes light up and she smiles as she says. "Papa!"

I hug her tightly. My wife and I were never able to have children of our own. And due to the mission there are no unwanted children aboard our vessels. This was the only way. I secretly created a clone of Shepard for our own. She cannot leave our quarters. To do so would be to risk discovery.

I know where my doubts for the mission are coming from. Once we succeed my daughter would be a second class citizen. I don't want that for her. Like any father I want what is best for my child. _So what can I do? If anything for her?_

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 _On-route to the Citadel: Justicar in training Luna_

My leg is jumping up and down as we wait to dock to the Citadel. The closer we get to her the harder I am finding it to control my emotions. _What do I even say to her? Hi Dad I'm the child you never knew existed. You already have your perfect family but do you want an extra child? I'm sure that I won't cause any strife with your bondmate._

I can't imagine my existence will go down well with Liara T'Soni. I was always more interested in my mother's role in the war but I know the story of the Commander and the Archaeologist. The great love story of the war. According to most of the holovid series and movies she is the only reason Shepard got through the war. _No mention of my mother and her relationship with the 'great' commander of course. She won't want anything to do with me anyway. Probably in her best interests not to acknowledge that I am hers. The only proof is in my mothers head and she won't share those memories._

I can't keep the bitter thoughts out of my head. _Why did she wait until now to tell me? She doesn't have long left. Maybe a decade. I don't want to spend what little time we have left being angry with her._

I look over to her and see her meditating on the floor. I try not to roll my eyes at that. _She is always meditating. It's annoying._ Her skin is paler than I remember from my childhood. A sign of her failing health. I know what she would say to me if she could see me at this moment.

"You let your emotions get the better of you child. You must find your centre. To be able to act and think without your judgement being clouded. A Justicar must be able to do this. It is the only way to follow the code."

She would tell me that whenever I let my emotions get the better of me. Being emotional is a trait I get from my father apparently. I never really understood that before. But now I do. From the footage of the war I can now see what she means. The commander always channelled her emotions into her actions. _Something Justicars don't do._

I hear the announcement stating that we will be arriving at the Citadel momentarily. So I lean down to my mother and let her know. In a busy place like this transport ship where there are many other individuals around she likes to block everything out. _If anyone else tried this they would be in for a world of hurt._ She nods her head at me and starts to get up. I stay near her in case she has any trouble getting up. _Though usually that only happens when we are on our own. She doesn't like showing any kind of weakness in front of others._

My nerves grow as we board the Citadel. I look around half expecting her to be there waiting for us. She isn't. I try not to let my disappointment get the better of me. Walking next to my mother as we near the security checkpoint I ask her in a whisper. "Does Shep-my father know we are coming?"

I can't imagine us appearing unannounced will go down well. Not turning to look at me and in her calm serene voice she says. "No she does not. Fortunately she is not currently on the Citadel." My anger spikes and I cross my arms underneath my chest. I try really hard not to let it show on my face though. _Why didn't you tell me that? I could have enjoyed the ride here. I've never been to the Citadel before._

I glance a look at her. She is looking directly ahead but her mouth has thinned into a flat line. _How by the goddess can she read me so easily?_ I think to myself bewildered. She continues talking. "Shepard is currently on her way to Mindoir. There she will most likely be trying to get her daughter Benezia to leave the Prophets with her. Afterwards she will return here. Once here I will attempt to speak to her privately about you."

I haven't thought much yet about Jenny and Benezia T'Soni. My half-sisters. _Will they want anything to do with me?_ Jenny might. From what they have shown about her on the extranet she seems to be a kind and just asari. If she can accept me I think we will get along and have a lot to talk about. There are a lot of similarities between Spectres and Justicars. I can't imagine I will have much luck with Benezia. She always seems so high and mighty whenever they show her next to Asuna. The thought of her father having another child with someone else must be abhorrent to her.

"So um… what are we going to do in the meantime?" I ask not looking forward to the answer that I expect that I will get. _More training._

She places her arm on my shoulders. A comforting gesture. _At least that is what I hope it is meant to be._ "I wish for you to meet some people. Individuals who know your father well. Whenever there has been a reunion or anniversary of the war I have purposely made sure that you were busy so that you could not attend. If Dr T'Soni saw you she would instantly know who your father is. But now it is tell for you to meet them. The few who are left. My friends." A slight smile appears on her face on that last comment.

There are only three people I can think off. Miranda Lawson, Grunt and the AI EDI. All of them served on the Normandy when they faced the Collectors with my mother. I have seen them all in vids and interviews. _They might be able to give me some clues on how to interact with my father._

We reach the security checkpoint and wait in the queue. After about 20 minutes of waiting it is our turn to get processed before we are allowed into the Citadel. I understand that security is tight on the Citadel but what we have to go through seems a tad excessive. IDs are checked, blood is taken, finger and palm prints are taken. Irises are scanned and the reason for our visit is asked. Our weapons are also confiscated.

My mother asks annoyed _I can tell when others can't because the tone of her voice is ever so slightly lower_. "What is the reason behind all of these checks?"

The guard. A male Turian in the blue armour of C-Sec states in a bored clearly annoyed voice. "Due to the tensions in the wards after the return of Commander Shepard we C-Sec are trying to stem the flow of illegal weapons. Plus these checks will help us to identify you in case you wind up dead in one of the riots."

"And what riots are these?" She asks in response. _Oh goddess, she is going into Justicar mode. She still doesn't realise she can't do that anymore._

The guard looks up from his desk. _You can see that he is trying to decide whether it is worth his time to say anything or not. Plus he must not recognise her._ "The Prophets of Shepard are fighting amongst themselves trying to decide whether the Shepard that has turned up is the real one or not. Whenever two individuals of the opposing sides turn up stupidity ensures." He sighs. "Now move **_along_**."

I expect my mother to ask more questions but she doesn't. She places her hand on the small of my back and we move along.

"Where are we meeting them?" _I know better than to ask her questions about the riots. Until she has a look she isn't going to answer me._

"Due to Miranda's age it was decided that it was better to meet them at her apartment."

A short taxi ride later we arrive at her apartment in the Silverstun strip. My mother presses the doorbell announcing herself and me. Walking in I have a look around the living room. There is a white leather settee and chairs with a wooden coffee table in the middle. A holovid screen is secured on the left-most wall in front of the settee. On the opposite wall I can see a wide variety of pictures. Some have pictures of kids in them, some have a girl that looks identical to Miranda in them and some of them have a heavily tattooed woman in them. _Must be Jack._

I hang back as my mother says hello and greets the three individuals in the room. Sitting down in the chair nearest her is Miranda Lawson. From what I know of human aging I would see that she was old. Grey hair and wrinkles. She also looks small and frail when compared to the woman in the pictures. But her grey eyes are still clear. Unlike other older humans they haven't clouded over. The way they dance between mother and me makes me think that she is figuring something out.

Talking to mother is EDI. The AI. Though you wouldn't know it by looking at her. A few years after the end of the Reaper War she grew tired of the looks that she received from others and decided to 'restore' the organic covering that covered her body when it belonged to EVA. She decided that she wouldn't look exactly like EVA so instead of looking like her she looks a lot like a young woman of Japanese descent. Pure white skin, dark black hair and brown eyes. She can also make the skin look 'aged' if needs be. So she grew old with Joker. After his death she reverted to looking like a 30 year old woman. The gestures she is making look organic. They flow. Not the stop and start of other mechanical beings. _I suppose that is something she has learnt after all these years._

Finally behind EDI is Urdnot Grunt. Like all Krogan he is tall and has an extremely imposing stance. _I think he looks bigger than he does from the war films._ That and the fact that his head plates have now fused together. I think his most striking feature is his blue eyes. _They are the same colour as the oceans of Thessia._

As mother and EDI are chatting he makes his way other to me. _Okay was expecting to have to talk to them before mother introduced me to them._ I think to myself in a nervous voice. I wait for him to say something but he lowers his face so we are looking at each other directly in the eyes. He sniffs a couple of times as well. _Krogan don't respect you if you back down in front of them._

So in the most confident voice I can muster I say. "Back **off.** "

He blinks and then turns around to address my mother. "T'Soni is going to kill you Justicar."

That stops the conversation between EDI and mother. Calmly she says to him. "How did you know?"

Grunt stands up straight. He chuckles with a single 'Heh' and speaks. "Easy. Same eyes. Jenny and Benezia have them too. Got them from Shepard. As I said T'Soni is gonna kill you." He then goes and sits down on the settee. His part of the conversation over for now.

I look to my mother. Unsure what I should say. She says as calm as ever. "Yes Shepard is her father. She was born before Jenny and Benezia. Any other questions?" She looks between the three of them. _Only mother can get any with being that brazen._

Miranda gets up from the chair she is sitting on. Then using her walking cane to help she walks over to my mother. She then stands there both hands on the cane in front of her. Standing up straight she asks in a controlled angry voice. "When exactly did this happen? Did the Commander know?"

Mother doesn't blink or move. In the same tone of voice she says. "No she does not. Like Dr T'Soni I did not ask her permission. I began to feel that she would not survive the war. So at the party we had at her apartment I mapped her DNA."

 _She makes it sound so romantic._ I think to myself sarcastically.

Ignoring the argument that is brewing EDI comes over and gives me a hug. "Hello Luna. It is nice to meet you." I expected her voice to sound robotic or synthesised or something but it doesn't. She has a soft voice, most likely you wouldn't hear it in a loud room. Confusingly though it sounds like a posh accent.

I try my best impression of my mother's voice and say. "It is an honour to meet you all. I look forward to talking to each of you individually when I have the chance."

Miranda looks at me from where she is standing. She tilts her head slightly and narrows her eyes like she is examining me. Then almost dismissively she says. "Looks like you're a carbon copy of Samara then."

I quickly walk over to her getting in her face. Angrily I say. "And what is wrong with that _human?_ "

Miranda smiles. "Guess there is a bit of Shepard in you after all."

I am not sure why but that makes me more angry. As I try and think up a witty retort Grunt's and EDI's Omni-tools start beeping. As they both immediately start talking into them I know that something must be up. Once they finish talking I turn to EDI (ignoring Miranda completely) and ask. "Has something happened?"

Her face has changed. Before it was happy. Now it is set and determined. Seriously she says. "Fighting has broken out between two large groups in front of the Reaper War memorial. C-Sec is requesting our help."

Grunt pipes up. A huge smile on his face. "Good it's been an interesting couple of days. Now a fight? Best time I have had in ages." Not waiting for anyone else he leaves.

EDI follows him. "The rest of you stay here. We will be back once the fighting is over."

Miranda huffs and sits down. But my mother grabs my arm. I know what that means. _Don't involve yourself. You're not ready._ I've heard it all before. _I am ready. Maybe being Shepard's child I can get them to stop._ Before she can engage her biotics and stop me I shake her off. Mutter "Sorry" and run out the door.

 _I will prove to her I am ready for this. Now where are the memorial statues?_


	10. Chapter 10: Proving Myself

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! I was watch binge watching on Netflix. Over 5000 views now! I wanted to give a special thanks to Eurodox59 for their help. It means a lot!**

 _Justicar in Training Luna: The Citadel_

It takes a few attempts to find the memorial statues. After allowing the autopilot to take me to different locations I decide to get out of the skycar and ask the stations VI Avina where to go. I know I am going in the right direction when I see C-Sec turning away any cabs that get near. I put the skycar in manual control and park it around the corner where C-Sec can't see.

I casually get out of the vehicle and walk away. I receive a few looks from the individuals who are walking towards the mayhem. They want to see if they can catch a look at what is going on. From what my mother has taught me I know what to do. _Act with supreme confidence. Nothing makes people jumpier than someone acting worried and uncomfortable._ So I do. I make sure to look them in their eyes as well, challenging them to say or do something giving them my best nonplussed face.

When no one says anything I walk around the corner. There is a small crowd of perhaps 100 individuals of varying races. _I can see humans, asari, turians to name a few_. In front of them is a line of C-Sec offices protecting the only way to reach the statues at this end of the Citadel. They also have a couple of troop transports on either side of them. The crowd is asking (or yelling depending on the individual) the officers what is happening. They aren't saying anything except to move along and that the situation will be resolved as soon as possible.

Knowing that I am not going to get any more information from them I try and have a look over the crowd to see if I can work out what is currently happening. All I can see from here is a lot of blue, some C-Sec vehicles _I assume that is where they are dumping the people that they have arrested,_ angry people and golden statues. _Though it does look like one of the statues has had its head blown off. I need to get closer._

I look at my surroundings. _I need to find somewhere quiet. Out of the way so that I can 'disappear'._ To the right-hand side of the crowd there is an information area situated inside an unused shop. A have a look through the window. _Nobody's home._ I smile to myself and enter the building. Firstly I make sure that there is definitely no one here. Once I am content that I am alone a press a button on my collar and watch myself disappear.

My mother doesn't know this but I have one of Kasumi Goto's old tactical cloaks. It isn't as good as the latest generation of cloaks as when I move you can see a shimmer in your surroundings. The latest cloaks have fixed this flaw meaning that cloaked individuals are very hard to track. Incidentally they must also be extremely rich as those cloaks cost **a lot.** But I am happy with the one I have. It allowed me to get up to all sorts of mischief around the monastery when I was younger. 

After the war very few people know what happened to Kasumi Goto. I met her for the first time when I was eighteen. She came to my mother for help as she had found something very dangerous and wasn't sure who to trust it with. _I still don't know what that was._ I can't help still getting annoyed over that. _After all these years mother still won't tell me everything!_ I think angrily. Not surprising when I think of the lies that she has told me about who my father was.

While mother was sorting out whatever it was Kasumi stayed with us. I grew to like her a lot as something akin to a naughty aunt. From that time to her death whenever she didn't have a job she would stay with us. She told and taught me things my mother never would. _The art of being a thief being chief among them._ There are times when I think I miss Kasumi more than I will miss my mother when she passes. I love her don't get me wrong. It's just she has a hard time showing her emotions. With Kasumi it was clear what she thought of me. As she was dying she asked me to read her stories from her books. It was slow going as I had to translate the words but I know from the smiles and encouragement she gave me how much she enjoyed it. I cried for a week when she passed.

I slap myself lightly on the cheek. _What am I doing reminiscing to myself? I have work to do._ I head back to the door and open it slightly. I take a quick peek out to see if anyone is paying attention to where I am. Luckily everyone else is more interested in what is happening at the barrier. So I open the door just enough so that I can squeeze through.

 _Now how am I getting through?_ I look around. I can't use the crowd that would put innocents in danger. Even if I am invisible if I try to get in between the officers I am going to get caught. It looks like my best course of action is to go over one of the vehicles.

Not having any other options I make my way forwards, making sure not to bump into anyone on the way. While the guards near vehicle on the right hand side of the barrier are distracted trying to calm the crowd I summon my biotics and direct a small amount of my power to my legs so I can jump up. Once I land on top I immediately freeze to make sure that no one saw me. No one has so I reach the other side and jump down trying to make as little noise as possible.

 _Now I just need to get to the statues._ I stand absolutely still and wait for my opportunity to move forwards. If I move forwards now someone is bound to notice me. What I need to do now is wait for a C-Sec officer to move from here to the statues. I can then follow behind him, making sure to time my steps with his so that the individual doesn't hear me. This way if anyone looks in my direction they will see the officer and not notice me.

It takes a while. I almost decide that it isn't worth waiting around when a salarian leaves the barrier, goes to his vehicle picks up a data pad, types something and then he starts walking over to the statues. As quietly as I can I sync my steps with his. Being this close to him I can see that his horns seem to be smaller than most other salarians. They only look like little mounds on his head. His skin is a dark brown colour. He walks fast and confident. _Though that is how most salarians walk._

As we get closer to the statues my heart starts beating ever faster. I have never tried doing something like this when it wasn't a game. I try to keep my breathing slow and shallow but it isn't working. _I can only hope he doesn't notice. I now also realise that if someone notices me I am either going to end up dead or in jail. Thanks brain._ I can't help but think this to myself worriedly. So I use a technique of my mothers. Concentrate on something else. Focus on that to the exclusion of everything else. So I do. I watch his horns bobble from side to side as we walk to clear my mind.

He stops once we reach a mass of C-Sec and criminals either being treated or being arrested. They are either in treatment tents, being loaded into vehicles or being questioned. _It looks like most of the fighting here has been stopped._ I think to myself despondently. _This was going to be my chance to prove myself to mother._ From where we are I can see which statue has been attacked. It is Liara T'Soni's. Her head is no longer there. _Not much of a surprise. All prophets hate her._

As I try and think on what I should do now he starts moving forward again. I follow him automatically. We go around the statues and reach what I would assume is the command centre for this operation. I can see EDI and what I can only assume are high ranking members of C-Sec standing around and talking animatedly around a vid screen that is displaying someone in a prophet robe. On the table around them are various data pads, guns and a couple of omni-tools.

We walk up to a turian, _guessing he is the one in charge here._ The Turian has a greyish carapace with white markings on his face and he towers over the both of us. He is more than a head taller than me. My companion hands him his data pad and they start talking.

When I feel something taking me hand it takes everything that I have not to jump sky high and scream out. _Damn it! That is not how a Justicar reacts!_ I think to myself angrily as I calm my hammering heart. I look at what is holding my hand and see that it is EDI. I slowly look at her face. Her face is set passively at the moment. Mouth closed with no outward sign that anything is wrong. She keeps moving her eyes to the right. _Guess that is where she wants me to go._

EDI turns to the turian in charge and speaks in a sincere voice never letting go off of my hand. "Apologies Commander. I need to deal with something. I will be back momentarily." He nods absentmindedly.

She drags me other to a secluded corner. Once there she lets go of my hand and put her hands on her hips and like a mother to a child after they have caught them misbehaving she tells me. "Drop the cloak. Now."

I turn it off. When I am visible again I try unsuccessfully to stand there confidently. Like I have done nothing wrong. She ignores my act. "Luna. What reason do you have for sneaking around an active crime scene?" Her voice is deadly serious.

I try and think of an answer where I don't sound like a petulant child. I bring my head up and look her in her eyes. In a quiet steady voice I reply. "I want to help."

She sighs and shakes her head. "You will keep quiet and follow my lead. If you behave I can get you out of here once the situation has calmed down."

Knowing the trouble I am going to be in once we get back I nod my head. _How can I be this stupid? Why by the Goddess do I never think these things through?_ I berate silently in my head.

We walk back to the Commander. EDI never lets go off of my hand which she holds behind her back out of sight of the others. I can't break it. I wonder why until I remember she is an android. After speaking to each other quickly everyone's attention goes to the vid screen.

On the screen is an older human male. He has white hair and dark brown eyes. Behind him I can see three other individuals. All human, all male and all of them are clad in the white prophet robes. They seem to be in a toy shop that specialises in the Reaper War. I can see action figures of the Normandy crews and their enemies lining the shelves behind the older human male. The vast majority of the figures are of my father in different poses and armour.

The turian presses a button on his omni-tool and the message starts to play. He sounds and behaves like a religious zealot. He demands that the false Shepard be killed and that actions be taken against the angels. Otherwise he will kill his hostages. The camera pans over to a corner of the shop where huddling together on the floor are a human family. The children, two identical girls are holding one another and crying silently. The mother is holding onto both of them while the father sits defiantly in front of them, trying to protect them. The camera then pans back to the men all holding pistols at the family. Finally the man in charge tells us we have one hour to provide proof of the false Shepard's death or they will start killing hostages.

"We need plans of actions. Now." The commander looks at each of his officers and EDI. His gaze lingers on me. _Probably wondering why I am here._

My salarian companion from before speaks. "Only one entrance. Cannot breach other walls. Shutters are closed. Door only entrance in."

The commander closes his eyes and says tiredly. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Message is being played over extranet." He replies helpfully. _It takes everything I have not to laugh out loud._

"We need to get someone in there." A human female who weirdly has blue hair states.

"How?"

"We pretend to bring them proof. That we have to set something up so that they can witness her death. Then whoever is there tries to grab the leader?" She suggests.

"No. They will never allow that. Plus they will expect some act of treachery from whoever is there. If you want to do that. We need to get someone in there un-noticed and then create a distraction. Once the hostage takers are distracted our man on the inside takes the hostiles out. But we can't do that without another entrance."

Before I can stop my mouth I blurt out. "I have a cloak. Get the door open and I can get in there."

Every face turns to me. I blink a couple of times and try not to blush. I clear my throat. I go to speak again but EDI interrupts me sternly saying. "That is not happening."

I expect that to be the end of my part of the conversation but the Commander turns to me. "Show me."

I wait for EDI to respond but she doesn't. So I activate my cloak. As I am not sure whether I am meant to be doing anything I stand still and wait for the Commander to respond.

He walks around me slowly, his eyes moving from where my legs should be to where my head is. "Not bad. Seen better. Does anyone else other any other plans on how to end this situation?" He asks.

"Commander she is a civ-" EDI is interrupted by the Commander holding up his hand. He puts his hands on my shoulders. _I think this is meant to be a comforting gesture but I don't feel it._ "The choice is hers."

I make sure that I am looking at him and that EDI is not in my line of vision as I respond. "Yes sir. I want to be help."

So the plan is set in motion. I try to keep myself as far away as I can from EDI. Whenever she looks at me I can see the disapproval radiating off of her. _I don't need that. I am worried enough as it is._ I activate my cloak and follow closely behind the Commander as he walks slowly to the shop. He has his arms up and no weapons on him. In his right hand is a tablet.

Once we get near the door we hear one of the armed men yelling at us to stop. We do. In a calm, slow and steady voice he explains to them why he is here. The plan is to give them a tablet that we say is encrypted to show the fake Shepard. Once they have activated the screen a blaring noise will be erupted and in the confusion I will take down the hostage takers.

I wasn't expecting them to take the bait to be honest. I would have thought that they would know that something wasn't quite right but considering that they agree I guess that they are either that stupid or that eager to believe. _I am not sure which is worse._

The commander reaches the door. A hostage taker opens it, he looks young for a human. I would say that he was a teenager, he looks small and is not sure of himself. He keeps looking to the right and keeps pushing his brown hair out of his eyes. With shaking hands he takes the tablet. He turns around and tries to close the door. _Tactical error there._ The Commander keeps the door open with his foot. While the teenager looks aghast at the turian I slip in behind him.

I take a quick look at my surroundings while he walks back to the hostages and his friends/family. The hostages are huddled together by the front wall of the shop by the desk where customers pay for their purchases. In front of them is a slightly older male than the teenager who opened the door. As they look similar I am guessing they are brothers. He is pointing a shotgun at the hostages.

The male seen speaking on the message they sent earlier is holding the tablet while discussing things with the final male. Due to his buzz cut and muscular physique I don't think he is related to any of the others. _If I don't take him down first I am going to be in trouble. At least I would in an idea situation. Firstly I have got to take out the gunman in front of the hostages._ Three paces in front of them are the shelves lined with the toys. It looks like my father is staring at me. Judging me. _I try to ignore it._

I ready myself to strike. I crouch slightly and engage my biotics waiting to charge. _As the distraction will be a loud screeching noise I make sure that I can't hear anything. The visor they gave me is blocking everything out._

The older man goes to a terminal and opens a live feed to the extranet. He rambles on a bit about the prophets and what is going to happen to the false Shepard. He starts up the tablet. Once they react to the noise I move. I jump over to the gunman and give him a biotically charged punch to the face. He crumples to the floor. In the same movement I face my other enemies and 'push' at them.

I hit the teenager and the older man but the muscular one knowing that I am here flings himself against the shelves out of range of my biotics. Before he can recover I jump on top of him. He tries to hit me but misses. _The pluses of being invisible._ I think happily to myself. _If only the code would allow me to act like this the majority of the time. But in most scenarios criminals have to be aware that I am after them._ I think to myself annoyed.

I give him a biotic punch and he loses consciousness. I turn off my cloak and address the hostages who are looking at me in astonishment. I try not to feel too smug. I saved the day! This is a much better outing as a Justicar than my first attempt.

I smile reassuringly at them as I approach. I crouch down. "Don't worry. Everything is fine now."

They don't stop hugging each other but they stop physically shaking.

"W-Who are you?" The older man says in a hurt voice. _It looks like his son took the brunt of my attack. Leaving him semi-conscious._

I walk over to him giving him my best glare. In a deep confident voice I speak. "I am Justicar Luna. The daughter of your 'beloved' Shepard. And I do not condone your actions."

It looks like the live feed to the extranet has stopped as well. Considering the cracked empty screen on the floor.

C-Sec bursts in and arrests the criminals. The family thanks us for our help and are taken off for medical attention. It is only once I get back to Miranda's flat that I realise that all of my actions have played out over the extranet, \i guess the cracked screen didn't mean that the feed had ended after all.


	11. Chapter 11: I hate Acting

**Author's Note: As always if anyone has any tips let me know. Thanks for any new views/follows/favs since the last chapter!**

 _A Prophet's Judgement Frigate: Jane Shepard_

I look at Liara confused. "How exactly are we going to take over the ship? We can't kill them all. Unless you know how to pilot? Jenny can you pilot the frigate?"

Walking over to us I can see her rolling her eyes at us. "No Dad, it's a _tiny_ bit different from what I am used to." _Okay could have done without the sarcasm._

Before I can reply Liara interrupts. "We don't hopefully have to kill anyone else. We are going to go up to the CIC and you Shepard will convince them to take us on to Mindoir."

I stand up and start pacing. _How on Earth can I do that?_ So I ask Liara. _I am not exactly a very good actress._

Liara takes my hands and kisses me on the cheek. In a soft loving voice she says. "These individuals are expecting a certain version of you. The one they grew up hearing about. You need to be angry but controlled, righteous and above all you need to act like you are above them. You are their Prophet. Now I know you are not going to like playing up to their expectations. But it is the only course of action we can take that will minimise any loss of life."

I turn my back to her and place my hands on my hips. I look at the floor and sadly say. "I don't want to play up to their misconceptions of me."

Liara hugs me from behind and whispers in my ear. "You can love. For Benezia." _Great I can't say no now._

I nod my head. _I guess it is time to go into Commander Mode._ I take 30 seconds to quickly come up with a plan of action. I tell Liara and Jenny what I want them to do and explain ever so nicely to our captive Hanar what will happen to him if he tries to warn anybody about us. _Basically it involves death._ We lock him in one of mako like vehicles in the cargo hold.

The three of us enter the elevator and ride it to the CIC/bridge. _Apparently most ships of this class resemble the design of the Normandy. Another way of honouring us. Thankfully though they don't have an AI. No way I could trick one of them._

We ready ourselves. I hold my blade in one hand and activate my onmi-blade in the other. I then engage my biotics. Allowing my anger to take hold of me. This way my dark energy looks like red flames. _It according to Jenny makes me look like a badass. I kinda agree when I see my reflection._ My head is held high and I will not look any of them in the eyes. I repeat to myself as a mantra. "They are scum and I am above them." _Hopefully it will come through in my voice._ Liara and Jenny are standing behind me without weapons. They are looking down chastised.

Just before the elevator doors open I take a deep breathe to calm my nerves. _I don't know why I am so jittery._

The doors open and I can see that what I was told is correct. The layout is the same as the Normandy. I can see the Galaxy map in front of me and then behind that banks of computers with individuals of varying races working. _Why does the first time I see a ship full of all the known races working together. Something I went on about numerous times during the war. Have to be staffed with crazy religious nutjobs?_

I take a step out of the elevator. On both sides of me I hear a salarian voice telling me not to move. _I guess this is what is left of security._ Two humans and an asari. Communication or science officers by the looks of them, they are standing by the map frozen.

I point my weapons at the salarians and with the best sneer I can conjure up I then angrily respond. "Put them down **now**. If you don't, I won't kill you. But I will make you wish you were." To further illustrate my point I wave my weapons at the various parts of them that I will be removing.

The left salarian squeaks and drops his weapon, but the right one _either brave or stupid_ fires twice at me. My barrier absorbs the hits. I slowly stalk over to him, whatever courage that he posses is quickly leaving him as he fires once more before dropping his gun. He raises his arms surrendering.

I stop walking, I smile sweetly at him and then with one swing of my Katana remove his right hand. In a bored voice I tell him. "That is for not listening to me. Do it again and I will remove something else."

Ignoring his howls of pain I walk onwards to the humans and the asari by the map. I snap at them. "Deal with his pain." I glance back at Liara and Jenny. "Stay there." I command them.

Again I slowly and steadily walk up to the pilot. Making sure to look each and every individual between me and him in disgust making sure that they know not to try anything funny. Once I reach the pilot's chair I lean down purposely leaving my back open to attack, daring them to try something. They don't. I whisper in his ear. "Take us to Mindoir. Start a ship wide broadcast." He compiles.

I put my weapons away and stroll up to the galaxy map so that I am standing above everyone. I raise my arms and speak loudly and clearly like I have seen before in sermons. "I am Commander Shepard. That should be obvious to you even though I look younger than you would expect me to be. The vast majority of the galaxy believes that is who I am. But you, my so called judgement apparently know better. With this _superior_ knowledge you decided to attack me. The dead bodies down below can attest to why that is a very bad idea."

I come down from the map and start moving amongst the crew again. "The protheans brought me back because the galaxy is in turmoil. They need me to set things right. Which I will do. I have already had to _correct_ the behaviour of my supposed bondmate and one of my children. I expected to be able to reunite with my true daughter in peace. That has not happened."

I increase the intensity of my biotics. I can feel the energy rolling off of me in waves. "I will lead my people into a new age. I will finish the protheans work. You lot will spend the entire time wishing you were in my good graces." I really lay heavy on the sarcasm on this next sentence. "If it is not obvious you are not."

"But if you prove yourselves to me. I will let you leave. You will help to destroy my enemies."

I clap my hands together and extinguish my biotics. "Do we have an accord?" Various eyes just stare at me. "Good. If you need me I will be with my family, continuing their education in the captain's quarters. How long until we arrive?"

"18 hours." The pilot informs me in a shaky voice.

I enter the elevator. "See to it that I am not disturbed. Betray me again and you will all suffer greatly." I smile and wave. "See ya later!"

Once the doors close I lean back against the wall and put my head in my hands. I take a couple of deep breathes before the doors open again. _Looks like they brought it. At least for now. How do I keep an eye out for betrayal though?_ Then it occurs to me.

I place my right hand on the control panel and I try to tap into my new cybernetic abilities. I keep my eyes closed as I don't really want to see those 'strings' coming out of my fingers again. _It freaks me out._ I know it works when a fuck ton of information hits me.

 _Engine core stability at 95%, oxygen supplies will last 2 years at current crew levels, 6 crew members are sleeping, 3 are eating, communications to the fleet have been dest-_ I try to shut it out. The amount of information entering my head is overwhelming, I feel like I could get lost in it. So I think my commands at the ship's VI. "Contact me if anyone moves against me." I jump slightly when it agrees.

I open my eyes to find that the elevator has reached its destination and that Liara is standing next to me. From her worried expression I have been standing here unresponsive for a few minutes. I remove my hand and place it on her face slowly moving my thumb across it.

In a more confident voice than I am actually feeling I say. "Sorry love. Just making sure that we have a backup plan."

She takes my hand and guides me to the bed and then sits me down. _Man that took a lot out of me._ I notice that Jenny is sat at the desk a foot away from me. Having a quick scan around the room I can see that it looks similar to my cabin on the Normandy. It has a private shower, double bed and a private terminal. The only thing that is missing is the aquarium. _After accidentally killing the first few fish I quite liked having them here. Plus my hamster._

Jenny speaks first amused. "Never knew you could do scary that well Dad." She chuckles to herself. "They never show that on the vids. Mother didn't either."

I know that she is trying to make me feel better but it doesn't help. I don't want to feed their image of me, but it was the only way that we are going to get to Mindoir. _Damn it. I wanted to leave this all behind me._

I don't want her to know that though so I nod my head and smile. "You would be surprised how much of what I did was me acting or making it up as I went along." I tap the empty space on my right signally that I want Jenny to come and sit there. She does.

I turn slightly on the bed so I am facing her. "It is going to take 18 hours to get there now. While we wait I would love to hear more about you Jenny."

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 _The Captain's Quarters: Spectre Jenny T'Soni 16 hours later_

"And that is how I defeated the third head of Cerberus." With that I finish my re-enactment of what happened to Henrik Parotti. _Spoiler alert I managed to get him to kill himself with his AI. He asked it to kill the greatest threat to the organisation which turned out to be himself._

My parents are sat in front of me on the bed. Holding hands. Again. Smiling and being lovey dovey while listening to me. _It is weird that seeing my mother this happy is freaking me out?_

Dad suddenly jumps up and hugs me. _This weirds me out as well. Commander Shepard likes expressing her emotions. Who knew?_ "Seems to me that you have done way more impressive stuff than I ever did." She means that. I can tell. _I haven't saved the galaxy from genocidal machines while everyone else ignores the problem but sure._

I also blush. My mother's omni-tool beeping at her stops me from embarrassing myself further. She turns away from us and starts to watch something. Dad turns to me and raises one of her eyebrows. I shrug my shoulders at her instead of saying. "Don't ask me she's your bondmate."

The video ends and she turns around facing my father. The happiness from earlier is gone. Back is the angry mother I remember so well. "Did you know?"

I am as bewildered as Dad is. She responds slowly unsure what she has do wrong as she closes the gap between them. "Know what? You are going to have to be a bit more specific."

So she plays the video for us all to see. It features an asari taking down some kidnappers on the Citadel. What shocks my Dad and blows my mind is when she refers to herself as a daughter of Shepard. Millions of thoughts go through my mind. _What the hell? Where did she come from? Where has she been all these years? How did mother not know?_ And of course who is her mother? But thinking it through logically it is obvious. _Samara._

They don't say her name as the argument continues but I assume both of my parents have also worked this out. Dad replies. "You think that I knew!? Neither of you _exactly_ asked me if I wanted you to get pregnant!" She turns and walks away from my mother.

Quietly and hurt mother says. "Do you regret our children?"

Just as hurt. "How can you say that? Of course I don't. I am just saying that I had no clue when you were mapping my DNA, how was I supposed to know when she was doing it?"

Devoid of emotion. "Okay Shepard you've made your point." Dad closes the distance between them and hugs her from behind putting her head on her shoulder. _I can't believe I have another sister! Benezia is going to flip out once she finds out. I wonder what she is like? Will she want anything to do with us? She mentioned Dad so I would have thought so. If she is a Justicar I may be able to learn some moves off of her. Plus if I need backup in Asari space having a Justicar on call would be great!_

I am about to let them know how I feel about having another sister when mother says silently to Dad. "You won't have anything to do with her though will you?"

"Of course I will love. If she wants a relationship with me she can have it. I am not abandoning any of my children if I can help it."

The argument goes round and round in circles from that point on. Dad saying that she wants a relationship with Luna. Mother saying that she shouldn't because she is Dad's bondmate and she should only associate with her legitimate children. _That really doesn't sound like my mother. But I can understand how she feels. She's scared somehow that Samara will take Dad away. That's impossible though, I don't for the life of me see why mother can't see that. She is Dad's one and only. After everything they have been through how could she be anything else?_

Eventually they bring me into the argument. Asking my opinion. I don't want to hurt her further but I owe her the truth so I tell her. "I would like to get to know her if she wants to know me."

Mother drops down onto the edge of the bed defeated. Dad tries to comfort her but she doesn't respond. In the end I say to them that this is getting us nowhere and that Benezia should be our priority for the moment. They agree and so we sit in an awkward silence for the remainder of the journey. I doom myself by thinking. _Things will be easier on Mindoir right?_

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 _Mindoir: The Prophet's Home: Benezia Shepard_

I try not to squeeze Asuna's hand too much as I watch the frigate land. _It doesn't surprise me at all that father was able to convince them to take her here. The Protheans gave her such a gift with words._ I am unsure how to talk to her at the moment. Should I be formal? Loving? I think the best course of action is to follow my loves lead. _As always._

I watch the ramp lower. My parents and my sister Jenny slowly walk down towards us after having a quick look at their surroundings. My father is holding hands with Liara. _Why is she dressed like that?_ She should be dressed smartly, that reflects her station. Not in casual clothing. _That will be Liara's work. Trying to make my father look like everyone else. She isn't._

Jenny reaches me first and hesitantly gives me a hug. "Wow. You are huge. You sure there is only one girl in there?" She asks amused.

"Yes Jenny there is." I say back happily. We may not agree on what our father is but I still love her greatly and I am very happy to see her. _Maybe with father here now she will see the truth._

Liara approaches next. She greets me with a small smile. I don't want anything to do with her but Asuna has told me to be courteous to her as she holds a great amount of sway over my father. I call her mother and allow her to feel my daughter moving and to hug me. I can't help the small twinge of happiness I feel as we hug. It is radiating off of her. She is crying silently to herself as she brings my father forward.

She stands there staring at me, unsure what to do. Just before the silence drags on too long she looks me in the eyes and says nervously. "H-Hello."

That seems to be all that she is going to say at the moment. _Was she like this with Jenny?_ She is now looking down at the ground. _I never expected her to be like this._ I try to catch Asuna's eye but she is staring intently at my sister. _I don't know if this is proper protocol or not but I want a hug._ So I hug her. She hugs me back and I can feel her tears falling onto my skin as she holds me tightly.

Happily she speaks. "I am so happy to meet you Benny." She takes my face in her hands. "I want to know everything." She then wipes the tears from her face and becomes more serious. "Me and you. We need to have a frank discussion about your views of me."

I ignore the statement and grab my father's hand pulling her along. I want her to see a place that I have had restored for her. The place where it all began. Her home. My father laughs lightly. "Benezia why are you in such a hurry? Should you be moving this much? From the size of you I expect you are about to drop aren't you?"

I give her a bemused look. "Thanks Father. Comment on a girl's weight why don't you?" She turns bright red. She tries to apologise but I tell her that it is okay. That I was only joking. It calms her down a bit.

After 5 minutes of walking we reach our destination. I bring her forward so that she is standing in front of me. "What do you think? We had to honour the place where you were born." I tell her pleased with myself.

I look at her. The blood has drained from her face. Worried I take her hand and shake it gently. Liara has appeared on the other side of her and is whispering in her ear. With a voice thick with emotion barely holding it together she responds. "Not born. Made. I... I haven't been back here since the attack. Never expected to. Too... too many bad memories. So many dead." Lost in memories she turns away from us and vomits. _I thought she would be happy. This is the start of her journey._

My heart starts hammering as my own tears start to fall. I tell her I am sorry. That I didn't mean anything bad by this. After a couple of deep breaths she tells me that it is okay. That it was a bit of a shock for her. As she hugs me again and tells me everything will be fine my first contraction hits. _At least my father is here for the birth of her granddaughter._


	12. Chapter 12: Ny new Weakness

**Author's Note: Thanks for the advice and reviews!**

 _Mindoir: Asari Hospital: Jane Shepard Two days later_

I gently rock Diana in my arms. Cooing softly. _I didn't realise she would be so small._ That's a dumb thought, of course she's small.

I wasn't sure what to do when Benezia went into labour. I ended up staring blankly at her while everyone else was getting ready. Asuna gently took her hand and tried to get her into a nearby skycar. It takes a couple of shouts from her before I realise that she is asking me to come with her. So I do and Liara follows.

We wait outside her room as she gives birth. I ended up pacing up and down outside the doors. I didn't know what else to do to be honest, being that nervous and scared. _Glad I dodged this the last 2 times._ When Jenny arrived I managed to calm down slightly as the hours ticked by.

Once she has given birth two days later, we are allowed to come in and she how she and the baby are doing. Benezia and Asuna look tired. After asking Liara about it she told me to expect this. That using their bond they would have most likely 'shared' the labour. So I ask the stupid question most people ask in this situation and ask how they are doing and if I can hold the baby.

After having my cuddle and explaining to her who I am I pass her onto Liara. I watch my daughter as I do this. Liara is concentrating on Diana so she doesn't see it, but I do, the small flicker of anger or hate that appears on Benezia's face. _So she is faking being pleased that her mother is here. How on Earth can I fix this?_

We stay with them for a few hours. Chatting amicably amongst ourselves about baby things. Never straying near any dangerous topics. I find myself enjoying myself immensely though, being in a room with my whole fami- _crap forgot about Luna there for a second._ With the vast majority of my family. _I wonder if Liara will ever let her join us for moments like this?_

Knowing that I can't stay in this moment of happiness forever I stand up, kiss Liara on her head and pass Diana back to her mother. I tap on Asuna's shoulder and signal her that I need to talk to her. She nods her head in agreement, tells Benezia what we are doing and walks out. Liara starts to stand but I tell her to stay, that Benezia might need her.

Once outside Asuna asks. "What would you like Prophet Shepard?"

 _Oh boy I need to stop that crap soon._ Ignoring the word prophet and trying to keep my voice light I tell her. "I need a couple of things. Firstly I need to talk to Miranda Lawson on the citadel. Once I have done that I need to see what you have been doing in my name, and if I need to, shut it down." Her expression doesn't change. _She is really confident that I won't object isn't she?_

She bows her head slightly and politely states. "Of course. This way."

So I follow her. Thankfully it is not a long walk to the QEC room. I wasn't expecting there to be one here. _I guess they are more common than they used to be._ As we walk I purposely try to avoid eye contact with anyone. Hoping that they won't notice me. _It doesn't work._ When they see me I get one of two reactions. Disgust. "How dare they let that fake live!" _I am amazed at how many of them seem to think that they know me and how I should act._ Or elation. "Oh what an honour it is to be in your presence! Please tell us more about the protheans." _It takes everything I have not to say "They were jerks. End of story."_ Instead I roll my eyes. _That seems to offend everyone. I really don't need their approval._ Before matters get worse Asuna usually sends them on their way telling them that I am tired from my granddaughters' birth and not thinking straight.

As I enter the QEC room she makes to follow me in. I just give her a look that says. _"Really? You want to piss me off even more?"_ She apologies and waits outside.

Once I am in and staring at the equipment I realise that I have no idea how any of it works. _Maybe that's way she was coming in with you?_ My tired brain helpfully tells me. No way am I going out there now and making myself look like an idiot by asking her to come in here and help me.

So instead I use my new ability again and tell the communicator to contact Miranda Lawson. As the call is being processed I sit down in a nearby seat. With my head in my hands I try and wipe the tiredness from my eyes. _Is this really the best time to be doing this?_ Well I did manage to wage a successful war on very little sleep. So I can't imagine that a deeply emotional conversation can be any harder than that. _She says sarcastically._ But if I don't then I am going to get bogged down here being the 'prophet'. Luna deserves to be a priority. _Plus if I don't do this now I could lose her._

The call connects and I am greeted with an angry looking Miranda. _Seriously? How can she still manage to pull off the same face 200 years later? The one where she questions my actions and sanity?_ "What the hell took you so long Shepard? The footage of Luna went out over 2 days ago!"

 _Explaining myself to angry people through hologram. Now why is this a familiar feeling?_ Tiredly I explain about the attack and the birth of my granddaughter. Once I finish she looks less angry and a bit concerned. "Sorry Shep. I know this is a lot for you to process." _That's putting it mildly._ "Let me get Luna."

A minute later Luna appears in front of me. While Jenny and Benezia have tried to differentiate themselves from their mother Luna is the opposite. She stands there staring at me, with the same posture that Samara has, though unlike Samara it looks like she cannot fully control her emotions yet. She cannot keep her face neutral. _Shit it even looks like she's wearing the same exact outfit that Samara had on when we had s-bad thought! Do not think that!_

Luna crosses her arms under her chest, eyes narrowing and clearly peeved. "What took you so long Shepard?" _She isn't calling me Dad or Father. She's clearly angry at me. How best to approach this?_

 _Neutral. That might be the best way approach. That's probably how her mother talks to her._ "One of your sisters, Benezia has just given birth, the labour lasted around 2 days. She wanted me there with her." _Okay now I'm getting slightly angry. What happened to staying neutral?_ "Should I have left her? As soon as she had recovered from the birth I came straight here to talk to you." I sigh and rub my eyes. "I haven't slept in 48 hours. I thought that talking to you was more important."

I don't think Luna knows how to react. She rubs the back of her neck with her left hand. She looks at something to the left of her view no longer staring at me directly. "Oh."

When she doesn't say anything more I quickly ask. "So umm… you're a Justicar?"

Her eyes lock back onto mine, she smiles _the first one I have seen from her. I can't help but smile back. Just like her mother, if you can get her to smile it lights up the entire room._ Happily she tells me. "Well not yet, _technically_ I am still in training. I've wanted to be one ever since I was little. I want to make a difference and help my fellow asari." Her voice turns sadder. "Mother doesn't want me to follow in her footsteps."

"Your mother is probably just worried about you. Being a Justicar is dangerous."

She rolls her eyes and me and responds sarcastically. "Wow. That had _never_ occurred to me. Thanks for the revelation."

 _I can see why she is still in training. She really can't control herself can she?_ I whisper to myself "Maybe this conversation would be better done in person."

From the hurt on her face Luna heard me. Angrily. "If you don't want to talk to me fine. At least I know where I stand. I expect you need to get back to your perfect family. I expect it will be easy for you to pretend that I don't exist, it will be easier this way for you, no reminder that you weren't entirely faithful to the 'great' Liara T'Soni. I-"

I grab the console and squeeze it, failing to contain my disappointment as I interrupt her. "Do you know anything about me at all? I would never cut you out of my life! Would Liara prefer it if I had nothing to do with you? Yes. But she doesn't get a say in whether we have a relationship or not. I want to be a father to you, if you let me. I'm sorry to say this but Liara is the love of my life, but if she makes me choose between her and one of my children, I will choose you every time."

Luna looks down at the floor and shyly tells me. "Thanks. That...I...um I needed to hear that."

 _Now we seem to be getting somewhere._ "Can you get here?"

"No Justicars are not welcome in Prophet Space."

"Fuck. Okay give me a week. I need to find out what is happening here, convince Benezia to leave and get out in one piece. Once we do, I will come to the Citadel. I will answer any questions that you have. Is that Okay?"

She smiles at me. I smile and nod my head at her. Again she is looking slightly to the left of me. "Yes Dad. That's fine. I'll be waiting. I'm actually looking forward to meeting my new sisters." With that she waves goodbye and disconnects the call.

 _Now what next? Sleep or investigate? Fuck it, now that I have given myself a time limit I better get on with it._ I compose myself and exit QEC room to find Asuna waiting patiently for me. She smiles at me and bows her head slightly. "What now?"

 _Guess she isn't going to ask about the conversation that I just had. Good. It was none of her business anyway. Though I can't imagine she is happy about me having another child._ I lean against the wall. I try to get a handle on my anger, to stop it bubbling over. I know I am failing when I can see my biotics flaring on and off. "Why did you people think that rebuilding my home here and turning it into a shrine was a good idea? I have nothing but bad memories here and that was before the batarians came and killed everyone I knew." It takes me a moment to realise that I have walked up to her and grabbed the front of her robe. _Damn it. Stay in control!_

She places her hands over mine. "Calm yourself Shepard. Benezia meant well. She wanted to honour the place where you were born." I let go of her robe but she doesn't let go of my hands. "Regardless of how you think about it, Mindoir was where you were born. Because of that it is special to all of us who follow you."

I rip my hands from hers and take a couple of steps back. I turn my back on her to hide the tears that have started to appear in my eyes. "Not born. Made." The memories flood my mind all at once. _Needles, pain, watching as the doctors and my 'mother' experiment with Eezo exposures. Her telling me happily that "I could still be useful." My escape into books and dreaming of exploring the galaxy, of proving myself to everyone back on Mindoir. Running from the slavers, from the screams of the dying._ I harden my resolve. "Tear it down. Now."

"No."

I turn and face her again. Disbelief in my voice. " _Excuse me._ Am I not your prophet? Should you not heed my every whim?

She snorts in amusement. "What would that accomplish? If I did that you would never respect us or lead us. You respect people who will follow you but will challenge you when necessary. Is that not what you crew did for you?"

Begrudgingly. "Yes."

Asuna smiles smugly. "That's what I thought. Now come with me if you would Shepard. I want to show you what we have accomplished here. I think you will be pleasantly surprised."

I hold back my sarcastic response. _I do actually want to see what they do here._ So instead I say. "Lead on."

When we walk outside I am surprised to find it is early morning here. _Man my internal clock is all out of whack._ In front of us an older human female waits for us. Instead if wearing white robes she is wearing white armour. _They REALLY like wearing white here._ In her hands is a large shotgun like weapon. Doesn't look like any make of shotgun that I know of. When she notices me she points the weapon at me.

I look between the weapon and Asuna. Amused. "Is this what you wanted to show me then? Someone threatening to kill me?"

The woman sneers at me. "Silence reaper construct. Time to destroy you before you report back to your masters." _This is getting annoying now._

As she fires her weapon I raise my barrier. I expect a bullet of some sort to hit me. But that doesn't happen. Instead some sort of sonic wave hits me. When nothing immediately happens, I think she must of missed. It's only when I try and breathe and nothing happens that I realise something is drastically wrong. As Asuna deals with the woman I collapse to the floor desperately trying to breathe and failing. As my vision dims I see Asuna try and help me. If I could I would laugh. _After everything I went through it ends like this._

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 _London: After Harbinger's attack before the beam to the Citadel: Jane Shepard_

As my consciousness returns I almost scream as the pain down my right hand side registers. As I look around and try and get my bearings I can hear Harbinger's weapon powering up to fire again. All I can hear are the screams of the dying. _Wait why am I here? Wasn't I somewhere...else?_

" _Fight Shepard._ " For some reason I can hear Anderson's voice in my head. _He's right I need to focus._ I look around for my Stiletto pistol and find it a foot to my right. " _Crawl_ " Anderson tells me. So I do.

As I try to move the pain doubles, it feels like I have been ducked in acid and I can feel it eating through my skin. _I will not let these bastards win. MOVE Shepard._ As I reach my weapon Harbinger fires. " _Ignore the pain, ignore the destruction, ignore everything else pick up your weapon soilder!"_

I comply. " _Stand up._ " I use what is left of a mako to pull myself up. I gasp for breathe once I am up. _Gods I can't do this. My biotics are gone, I can barely stand and I don't think I can raise my arm anymore._

" _Ignore the pain. Stand up Shepard. You're not done yet. You have a job to do._ " Anderson commands me.

 _Sure why not. I can die later._ Every step I take is agony.

 _"_ _Walk Shepard. You need to move."_

So I walk. _Left foot, right foot, left foot._ It feels like it takes an eternity but I slowly make my way to the beam. About 5 steps from there a marauder appears from some rubble on the other side. It fires its weapon hitting me twice before I can kill him. _The pain doesn't even register now. That's bad isn't it?_ I look at my broken body and I see my blood slowly dripping to the floor. I think to myself absentmindedly _I like the way it splashes when it hits the ground._

" _We need you to finish what you started Shepard._ "

 _Why does it have to be me?_

" _Because you've done it before._ "

 _Fine, but this is the last time I do this._

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 _Mindoir: Jane Shepard_

I open my eyes and take a few deep hungry breaths, filling my lungs to capacity. _Fuck, what was that?_

Anderson's voice slowly fades from my head as he tells me. " _I needed you to fight child. So I brought you back to a moment when you fought even when you wanted to quit._ "

"Who are you?" I ask the voice. _I know it's not Anderson. He's dead._

 _"_ _A friend. We will speak again. Once you are ready."_


	13. Chapter 13: Teaching

**Author's Note: As always thanks for reading. Any reviews appreciated!**

 _Mindoir: Hospital Room: Jane Shepard_

 _Shit I must have blacked out again._ I slowly open my eyes again to find myself in a hospital bed. _I spend too much of my time in beds like this._ I slowly look around the room to see who else is here with me. Liara is sat to my right holding my hand. Jenny is sat to my left next to the door keeping a look out.

Liara notices me stirring leans over me and starts stroking my left cheek with her thumb. Worriedly. "Jenny are you alright?"

I give her the brightest smile that I can manage, sit myself up and then say hello to Jenny. She comes over and gives me a quick hug. Clearly relieved she tells me that Benny will be here shortly. She asks me in a no-nonsense voice. "How are you doing Dad?"

After coughing a couple of times to get my voice back to normal I tell her. "A bit sore around my chest. No pain though." Trying not to let any fear creep into my voice. "What the hell was I hit with?"

Jenny and Liara glance at each other, clearly trying to decide who is going to answer me. My daughter starts speaking before Liara can. "The weapon used against you is a council issued P-456D." I look between them. _Is that meant to mean something?_ "Most people refer to the weapon as a 'Reaper Killer'. It can shut off their power sources."

 _I know it put me on my arse but seriously. That can take down a reaper?_ So I ask Sarcastic. "That shotgun sized weapon can take down a reaper?"

Jenny rolls her eyes at me and puts her hands on her hips. She responds to me in a voice usually reserved for dealing with a precocious child. _Basically condescending._ "No Dad." Now with a nicer tone of voice. "The word reaper nowadays is used to describe everything from themselves to their creations. The version used against you is for the ground troops. There are 2 others. One for fighters and one for dreadnoughts. It took us decades to decipher how their technology worked."

I tilt my head and put my hand under my chin and start thinking to myself. _I'm not a reaper._ Confused. "Then why did it affect me so badly?"

Now Liara starts mimicking Jenny's posture. _Fuck. For the first time since my 'awakening' I can see how similar they are. They have the exact same expression. Lips compressed together, heads held high with eyes narrowing. Clearly expecting me to get this._ "Remember what Miranda said?"

I shake my head and reply sheepishly. "She said a lot. I have you to remember the complicated ( _boring_ ) stuff."

She sits back down on the bed, smiles at me and takes my hand again. _She likes it when I compliment her intelligence._

"You _might_ want to remember this. You have a miniaturised reaper core in your chest. It runs your cybernetics. Which in turns runs you." She then gives me a light kiss on my forehead.

A knock at the door stops me from asking anything more. Benezia asks if I am awake yet. So I tell her to come on in, not realising Asuna is with her. _Does she ever let her out of her sight?_ Benezia also has Diana in a sling over her chest. She isn't making any noises so I assume that she is asleep. She walks over and gives me a one armed hug. From the crying that erupts from Diana I guess she didn't like that. Benezia bolts upright, blushes and sways side to side to settle her down.

Distressed "S-Sorry father."

I pat the side of the bed that is closest to her. In a calm voice I tell her. "Relax kiddo. That's what babies do, cry." I look to Liara for reassurance. "Right?" She nods her head.

"I could barely get one of you to sleep before the other started crying again."

The worry slowly seems to seep out of her once she sees that I don't care. As Diana's crying settles down I try to get out of the bed. Liara jumps up and puts her hands on my shoulders and tries to get me to stay in the bed. I gently remove her hands. "I'm fine Li." I stand up and start doing some stretching exercises. "How long was I asleep?"

Benezia answers. "2 days."

I stop mid-stretch and look at her in shock. With a slight shake in my voice I say. "2 days! I-I gotta move." I start looking around for my clothes and armour. "I need to get moving. I told Luna that I would meet her on the Citadel in a weeks' time, two days ago." Once I find some clothes I head to the bathroom to get changed. I try and catch Liara's eye but she looks away from me.

I get change as quickly as I am able. As I am doing that both Benezia and Asuna state that they will be accompanying me.

Benny sounds slightly disappointed. "Oh. I thought I could spend some time with my father while you looked after Diana."

Asuna walks over to her and gives her a hug and gently strokes Diana's head. "Your mother can look after her. They can bond with one another. I believe it will be good for our child to get to know her entire family." She then gently takes Diana from her and gives her to Liara.

As this happens I watch Benny to see what her response will be. As Liara talks to Diana and rocks her a small smile appears on her face. When she notices me watching her she blushes slightly and looks away and replies neutrally. "Sure." _Hopefully that is a good sign, that they can repair their relationship._

I then ask Jenny if she is going to accompany us but she declines stating that she wants to bond with Diana too. _Though personally I think it is to keep an eye on her mother._

As we walk out of the hospital room four armed individuals quickly surround us. Two humans and two asari. As we continue I do a quick assessment of them. All of them are biotic and armoured, the humans are carrying SMGs with shotguns stored on their weapon racks. The asari only have pistols, though somehow even without the telltale glow I can feel that they have engaged their biotics.

Asuna waits for me to finish my inspection. She walks up beside me and with her hands clasped behind her back tells me proudly. "These are four of my best warriors. Due to the previous incident I decided it is in your best interest to have an armed guard."

 _So where are my weapons then?_ "So, where are we going to attempt to go to this time?"

Benezia who was walking silently behind me now catches up and walks on my other side. Her head is bowed and she nervously plays with her fingers. "If Asuna thinks it is a good idea I would like to meet my class."

Asuna nods. Benezia's posture changes instantly. Confidently she grabs my hand and pulls me forward. The smile she gives me is the biggest I've seen her give me. _She must really like teaching._

 _When I found out that Liara had twins I found myself extremely worried that I would find it hard to differentiate between them. I didn't even though asari could have twins even! But looking at that clear contented smile on her face I can now see that won't be the case. Benny is clearly less sure of herself when compared to Jenny. Just like her mother when we first met. I believe Benny is more open / able to display her emotions better when compared to her sister._

Thankfully the rest of the journey to the classroom is uneventful. This has to be a deliberate act by Asuna. No way this place would have this few people around otherwise. Plus the people we did meet said hello to me and thanked me for being here.

Our guards line up on either side of the classroom as we approach it. _Makes sense. I'm sure the weapons would freak the children out. Plus people standing around silently near me unsettles me, like they are about to attack._

Benezia knocks, enters the room with me behind her and Asuna behind me. I make sure that my building nerves don't show. _Why does the prospect of talking to kids scare me more than running into battle?_

The children are talking animatedly amongst themselves as the teacher writes something at his desk. When they notice us the talking stops immediately and every set of eyes in the room latch onto mine. The silence is so complete you could hear a pin drop. I even stop mid-step wondering if I have done something wrong.

Benezia looks at me with an expression somewhere amused and expectant. She gestures to the class. _Wait. She expects me to talk first!?_

When no-one else makes a move to do or say anything I realise that I am going to have to speak first. So I make myself stand up straight, face the class and make sure that I speak to the wall at the back of the class, more confidently than I feel. "Hello class. My name is Jane Shepard, most people call me Shepard though."

I expect some sort of response from them but they continue to stare at me blankly. I try and think up something else to say but all I end up doing is opening and then closing my mouth a few times as nothing comes out. _Say something else you idiot!_

As I am about to spill some sort of gibberish from my mouth a human boy slowly puts his hand up. Totally and utterly relieved I ask him what his question is.

In a squeaky high voice he asks. "A-Are you really Commander Sh-Shepard?"

"Yes I am." I reply. Then for reasons I cannot explain I start to slowly rock myself back and forth from my heels to my toes.

"Too young." A salarian kid states in that fast way of speaking that they have. _Is he a boy or a girl? I really need to work out what the difference is one day._

 _He does have a point though. I am younger than what I was during the war. Now how to explain this to children?_ "Yes the last time I was... _how to say not dead?..._ around in the galaxy I was physically older. When I was...uh... _better word was resurrected..._ returned to life I was in a younger body. I still remember everything that happened before." _Was that okay?_

I try to look at Benezia for confirmation but a small krogan boy jumps off of his chair and charges at me. I put up the weakest barrier that I can erect, he hits it, bounce back and falls onto his butt. He glares at me. "Fake Shepard." He points to me. _I'm pretty sure everyone knows who you are referring too._ "I would have been destroyed by the true Shepard's awesome powers!" _Okay. Having trouble processing that. He's upset that he isn't dead?_

He ignores any attempts that I make to dissuade him from attacking me. He head-butts me, bounces off and then tries again. I look to the adults in the room for help only to see them chuckling at my predicament. I channel my inner Liara and stand in my best impression of her 'do something now or face the consequences' pose.

Asuna looks confused but it at least gets Benezia moving. She stands in front of me then kneels down so that she is face to face with the boy. He is too focus on his charging that he doesn't notice her at first. Only when she puts her hands on his shoulders does he react. She speaks to him in a stern but kind voice. "That's enough MS. This is the true Shepard, my father I promise you. As such you will show her the respect she is due."

He looks at her and then me a couple of times then agrees. He comes over taps me lightly on the leg with his fist and then goes back to his seat. _That was a lot easier for her to deal with then I was expecting._

She then stands in front of the class, dead centre of their desks and addresses them. "This is the prophet Shepard. I wanted her to meet you the children I teach. She is willing to answer any questions that you might have."

I try not to look too startled. _I am?_ Before I can get a word in they start asking me questions.

"Did you really take down multiple reapers on your own?"

"No I did not ever single handily take down a reaper myself. The closest I ever came was when we were on Rannoch and I painted a target on one for the Quarian ships to hit. Taking down reapers meant people working together."

"Why did no-one believe you?"

 _Because they were all morons who wouldn't see a naked Yahg until it was trying to hump them._ Is what I want to say but I don't. "Because most people don't believe in something until they see proof of its existence. Luckily the people who _really_ mattered did. My crew and loved ones. All you need to accomplish a task are a group of individuals who believe in each other."

"Was Javik as awesome as the other protheans?"

 _Probably. They all sounded like they were a bunch of jerks._ But I go with. "Javik was a warrior of his time. A lot of their knowledge and culture had been lost by then. So I can't say what the protheans before him were like."

"Can you kill enemies with your mind?"

 _That would have solved a lot of my problems if I could._ I chuckle to myself. "No Sorry, can't do that I am afraid."

"Do the protheans talk to you?"

 _Thank the gods no. Unless the person talking in Anderson's voice was a prothean? Let's not open that door at the moment. I feel mad enough._ "No I am sorry they don't talk to me."

The questions keep on coming. Some like that, others that are different. But I try to hammer home my main point that whatever the galaxy throws at us if we work together we can overcome it. Once I have finished speaking I look over to Benezia and Asuna. Asuna is pleased by what I have said. _That's going to come and bite me on the arse later._ Benny is smiling and clapping along with everyone else but it doesn't reach her eyes. They seem confused and disheartened.

We say goodbye to the class and walk out. Once we have taken a few steps Asuna turns to me. "Thank you for what you said Shepard. It's what I have been trying to do ever since I started leading the prophets."

"I'm sorry what part of that did you take as permission to take over planets? To force people to believe what you believe?" I angrily retort.

Unfazed she tells me. "Have we made mistakes? Yes I admit that. As I have told you before your daughter's influence helped me to see where we were going wrong. But I believe in the same things you do. We can only face the future together. It takes someone like you to unite the galaxy. The protheans saw this. That is why they choose you."

 _Not this rubbish again._ I invade her personal space so that there is only an inch separating our faces. "I don't know how many times I am going to say this. It was pure chance that I survived the beacon!"

Still unfazed by my anger Asuna argues back. "You did the impossible time and time again. You stopped Saren. You survived a suicide mission with your entire crew. You helped to cure the genophage. You united the Quarians and the Geth. You did what no other cycle has done. Beat the reapers. You truly think that was all by chance?"

Knowing that I am going to get nowhere with her I turn to my daughter. "Do you believe this? Yes I did those things. But only with other people! Alone I could not have accomplished any of that!"

She looks me straight in the eye. "Yes father. I think you would've found a way to do those things even by yourself. You were chosen for this. You are the great uniter. With you back we will finally finish what you started. Don't let what Liara thinks cloud your judgement."

Infuriated and ready to start pulling my hair end in exasperation I quickly put some distance between us. _They happily follow in my tracks, not giving me a moments rest. How on earth do I convince them that they are wrong?_

Not sure where else to go I try and leave the building. Once I open the doors I see that won't be a possibility. In front of me armed guards are trying in vain to keep back a large horde of people storming the school. At the front of the horde is the woman who shot me a couple of days ago. _Guess the jail system is top notch here._

Asuna and Benezia stand in front of me and try to address the crowd. Asking them what they want. Though I will summarise the exchange for you. Basically these are the people who want me dead. Who believe that I am a false Shepard. _I am so sick and tired of this shit._

So I push in front of them and yell at the top of my voice. "ENOUGH!"

They quickly fall silent and look to their leader for guidance. She points at me and starts to speak in a clear angry voice. "That is a reaper cons-." But I interrupt her. _I don't need to hear this again._ "Yes the reapers did reconstruct me. Just like Cerberus before them. You accepted that person was me. Why can you not accept it is me this time? The people closest to me have accepted it!"

She tries to push past the guards but they won't let her. This seems to wile her up even more. "The prothe-" Ignoring what she is saying I push past the guard and grab the front of her shirt.

I threaten her. "And what exactly will convince you?" She goes to open her mouth then stops. _Brilliant. She hasn't a clue. Probably end up as something that the protheans themselves will have to descend from on high to tell her._ I let her go and she stumbles to the floor. "As nothing I can say will dissuade you I will prove it to you another way. Bring me your best warriors! I will defeat them all! At the same time! But we will do this without weapons. Only with the gifts we were given! Tell me when you are ready."

With that I kneel and start to meditate. To centre myself before the battle. I close my eyes as I hear Benezia rush towards me. Worriedly she hugs me and speaks. "Father? Is this a good idea?"

I don't open my eyes but tell her clearly. "This is the only way my little wing. I CAN do this." I feel her nod her head against my shoulder.

 _"_ _This is foolish Shepard"_ Anderson tells me concerned in my head. _If you're not going to help go away. I don't need to be worrying about my sanity before the fight._ I hear him sigh. _"Have it your way. But let me help. I can calculate odds. Tell you what who is most likely to attack next. Watch your back."_

 _So you will be speaking to me while I'm fighting? No thanks. "I am trying to help you." Try harder then. Make it instinctual. So I can react as it is happening. "I will try."_

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 _1 hour later._

The noises of the crowd slowly stops. Benezia whispers in my ear that it is time. I stand up and open my eyes while brushing the dirt off of my trousers. In front of me, a few feet away is a line of soldiers. An asari, batarian, salarain, human, turian, krogan and a drell. _Looks like they listened to the no weapons rule. Though unlike me they are wearing armour._ It looks the civilians have created a semi-circle around us with the school behind me.

Well I doubt they are going to allow me to put on some armour so I ask. "Are you ready?" They shout "Yes!" and take battle positions.

 _"_ _I would advise taking out the asari or the krogan first."_ _What did I tell you about speaking? Plus that is what they will expect me to do. One of the first rules of battle. Don't do what your enemy expects you to do._ So I don't.

The krogan charge me with the asari close behind. I shift my position slightly to the left and pick my target. The salarian while he thinks I am distracted by his comrades his setting up something on his omni-tool. _I hate tech/engineer attacks. Once setup they are so annoying to deal with._ I wait until the krogan is almost upon me and then charge at the salarian. Unprepared for my attack he goes flying into the crowd. Then before the batarian beside him can react I aim a biotically charged kick at his chest and follow it up with a spin and a punch to the face with my right fist.

 _"_ _A fine start Shepard. But now they are on guard." Thanks captain obvious._ No one moves at first not knowing what to do next. My enemies spread apart making sure that I can't hit two people at once as they try to slowly surround me. I channel my energy into my fist and then as hard as I can I slam it against the ground causing the earth to shake and a dust cloud. I take advantage of their blindness and attack the drell. I want to take him out before he can touch me and I am affected by the secretions from his skin. I charge behind him, kick his legs out and them I aim another kick at his head knocking him out.

I stand and scan the area for my next target as the dust cloud dissipates. _"Alert Shepard ther-"_ I don't hear the rest of his statement as I am hit with a cryo round to the chest. I'm surprised that it hasn't penetrated that far into me as I can feel it in my skin. I stumble to the ground as I try to dig it out before the numbness spreads. _"Concentrate on your surroundings. I will deal with the effects of the bullet."_

I try and stand but I am unable. As I attempt to again I am lifted off of the ground by my neck. A clawed turian hand slowly squeezes me. I look around for something to use but all I see is the human and his drone. _How the hell does that not count as a weapon!?_ I believe from what the turian is saying that he is choking me. But I ignore him. The more he talks the more the numbness in my chest stops and I can think clearly.

I make some choking noises to distract the turian, so he thinks he is winning. As he laughs I 'grab' the human and 'pull' him towards us aiming him at the turian holding me. He collides into the turian and I receive a kick in the stomach for my troubles as I tumble to the ground.

As I stand and catch my breath the krogan and asari attack as one. From the way they attack together they must be close comrades or even a couple. Just like when I and Liara fight they complement each other's fighting styles. When one aims a punch at my face the other aims a kick at my stomach. They've realised now that it is not a good idea to try and fight my long range, it's better to try and engage me in hand to hand combat so I can't engage my biotics.

Its working. I can barely stop them from landing any blows on me. _"Shepard. When I tell you, pull the krogan's fist to the left."_ Not having any other option I wait. As the asari finishes a kick aimed at my stomach, Anderson' voice tells me now. I do as he says, with the amount of time I have I can't affect the punch by much but it is enough. He hits the asari in the chest stopping her instantly.

While he is momentarily shocked I attack. With my biotics I punch him in the eye, then kick him in the 'quads' and follow that up with a punch to the throat.

As he collapses to the ground I make my way to the centre of the 'arena'. I spit some blood out of my mouth and aim it at the ground. I wipe my mouth with the back of the ground and address the silent crowd. "You have two choices. Finally, FINALLY accept who I am. Or get off of my planet. You have one day."


	14. Interlude: The Five sisters

**Author's Note: We should hopefully pass 10,000 views with this chapter! Thanks for all the encouragement. Please review! Knowing what you guys think makes writing this worth it.**

 _Seven days later: Clone Omega: On approach to the Prophet's' Judgement fleet_

"How much _longer?_ " I ask extremely bored as I lean back into my chair with my feet resting on the computer banks in front of me. I look out into the black expanse of space as our shuttle gets ever closer to our destination. The flagship Sovereign.

My pilot Savare finishes typing into her console, turns her chair around so that it facing me and gives me a hard stare. _I assume that's what she is doing. It's kinda hard to tell with all of those eyes._ With barely concealed distain. "As I am sure you are aware it has only been 10 minutes since you last asked that question."

I plop my legs down and swing the chair around so that we are facing each other. I cross my legs, lean over and put my chin in my hands. With the biggest smug grin I can muster I ask in an innocent voice. "So?" I raise my left eyebrow suggestively. "How does that answer my question?"

 _I love watching her squirm as she tries to contain her anger at dealing with the 'primitive'._ So as politely as she can muster she replies. "We are 27 minutes out."

I do it to her 3 more times before we dock. I may have to obey the general and my 'handlers', but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun along the way.

As we stand and wait by the hatch for the decontamination process to finish Savare whispers to me. "Remember what you have been taught. Honour, dignity and above all loyalty to our cause."

I want to say. "That's what the 'correction chip' is for isn't it?" But I don't. Instead I give her a theatrical bow and parrot back the words she has just said to me in a clear and serious voice. _At least that will appease her for the moment._

The hatch opens to reveal three guards all pointing their guns at us. The human male in the centre even has a reaper killer. They don't seem to know who to stare at more, me or the prothean. They eventually decide to gawk at Savare. _She's enjoying it I can tell. You can see the whites of her teeth at the corner of her mouth. If this happens too often she is going to end up killing someone._ The leader gestures to the right with his gun and stutters at us. "H-He's ready for you. This way."

As we walk to our meeting I can't help but notice how _white_ everything is. The walls, the floor, the computer consoles, _the cleaners must hate their job._ The only time I see any other colour is when we walk through the shopping district, with the shop displays and the advertisements. _Everything seems to be either educational or revolve around the reaper war._ We never see any people either. There must be families here, in the distance I can see a kid's park.

So I ask in a false concerned voice gesturing around at the park and the empty shops. "Where have all of the people gone? Are they locked in their rooms? Surely that isn't good for morale?"

The lead guard glances at me before talking. Confidently and assured he tells us. "The populace know that it is for their safety that they are currently asked to be in their quarters. They locked themselves in of their own accord." _Gods I am not going to be able to have any fun here am I? I thought the lab was bad._

As we are moved along I briefly catch a glimpse of a residential area. I had expected that they would be trying to catch a glimpse of us as we walk by but that isn't the case. All the windows on the cabins are blacked out. _They're not taking any chances are they?_

Eventually we reach our destination. A small lounge area. To the right of the room is a small bar with a salarian _in white naturally_ behind it. On the other side of the room are some couches arranged around a small table facing an observation window looking out into space. _Though that view is ruined by the other ships out there._ Varakian is sitting on a light blue couch facing away from us. He doesn't acknowledge our presence. I look around for the hidden gun placements. _One is behind the salarian, one directly to my right and another overhead. There must be other preventative measures in here surely? He can't be this naive can he? I mean we are here to make his dreams come true, but for all he knows this could be a trap._

Once I have finished my scan I approach the bartender. He asks if we would like a drink. 

With a huge lopsided grin on my face I reply enthusiastically. "Hell **yes!** "

I have a look at the drinks available and then it hits me. _I have no fuckin clue which one I should choose. The Protheans collected tons of information about Shepard and they never looked up what her favourite drink is. Typical prothean behaviour. Implant the details, forget the little things that makes a person. This is why there clones have always failed._ I pick a brown liquid and ask the bartender to put some ice cubes in. Savare gives the drinks a disgusted look and then follows me as I go and sit in the couch to the left of Varakian. I place my drink on the table beside me.

He sits there calmly with his own drink. He swirls it around the glass a couple of times, downs it and then places it on the table _._ It takes me a while to notice it but I believe that he is wearing the armour that the original Varakian wore in the war. 

He looks at me expectantly. _Was that meant to be impressive or something?_ As I am unsure what else to do I match his stare with one of my own. **He** is going to be the one to speak first.

He breaks eye contact with me and leans back into the couch and puts his left leg over the thigh of his right. He points to my drink and asks politely. "From what I was told you were always a Bourbon kind of girl."

I relax and mimic his position, then shrug. "You would be amazed what coming back from the dead _twice_ does to you. I've found that it makes you want to try all sorts of new things." I pick up my random drink, down half of it and give a satisfied sigh. _Ignoring how it burns my throat and making me want to gag._

 _He doesn't believe me._ "I'll have to take your word for it." He looks between us and with his mandibles twitching he asks us annoyed. "How did you find us?"

Savare decides to answer this question, deciding that the conversation isn't going bad enough she speaks with disdain. "Typical primitive. As usual your cycle fumbles around in ignorance. We knew where you were the instant you started work on the crucible. Every race before us has added to it. So of course it emits signals and emissions you would not track but they did. If they wanted the reapers could have found it easily. They never expected anybody to succeed."

No longer relaxed Varakian moves forward. Angrily. "So T'Soni was right about your race. You truly believe yourselves superior". Now he turns sarcastic. "Amazing really then that you didn't defeat the reapers."

"And how did you do that? By using everything we left behind or on your own like we did?"

 _I better nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand._ I stand in front of Savare, blocking her from the conversation. I cross my arms under my chest and address him. "Enough Varakian. We all want the same thing. The death of the reapers."

Savare slowly gets up challenging me, slowly building her biotics. "These prophets claim to follow my race. He should show some respect."

Varakian pulls out a weapon he had hidden in the right leg of his armour. Camouflaged so that it is indistinguishable from the rest of his leg. He threatens her. "That's _if_ you are really a prothean and not a fake."

 _So much distrust._ I use my biotics to put them both into stasis before they can react. The bartender reaches for something slowly, hoping that I haven't noticed him. "Please don't. You will die." He flinches giving me enough time to hit him with a slam. _A weak one though._

I address my captive audience. " _We_ want the same thing. So _we_ are going to work together on this. The false Shepard makes her own moves which we are already countering. Varakian, the protheans are coming back, we're just the vanguard."

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 _Clone Alpha: The Citadel_

I've made sure that I look like any other duct rat. Dirty worn clothes, broken shoes, depressed outlook on life. Basically anything that makes sure that I don't stand out. People don't look at me, most try to avoid me. _Man, they really don't have to make it this easy._

I approach the church of the prophet. All is ready for my attack. I remove the knife I hid up my sleeve and as I enter a C-Sec guard passes me a small phantom gun. I know once the authorities are alerted that I will most likely not survive. But I will do my duty.

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 _Clone Sigma: Omega: Outside Afterlife_

As we walk I ignore the pleading of my bleeding batarian prisoner as I drag him along the floor behind me. As I approach the entrance of the club I catch my reflection off one of the walls. I try to focus on the task ahead of me but I can still see what I look like now. The huge light grey Heavy Colossus armour _somehow they've made me bigger than Vega,_ the helmet covers my head completely _no part of me is visible. You can't even distinguish my sex._

The protheans have given me the best soldier upgrades from across the galaxy. _And where does that leave me? Trapped in this armour forever. The only thing keeping me alive with all the random alien crap they pumped into me._ I think to myself bitterly. _If it's the last thing I do in this life I will make those goddam protheans pay!_

I make my way past the queue for the VIP entrance. The elcor bouncer impedes my progress. "Aggressively. Where do you think you are going?"

I drop the batarian, he cries out in pain, I ignore him. I don't look at the elcor, _he's beneath me._ I keep my eyes focus on my goal. A flat monotone synthesized voice emits from my helmet as I speak. "The Queen placed a bounty on this piece of trash." I kick the batarian. "I'm here to collect. Do you have a problem with that?"

As I am talking a press a small button on the palm of my right hand and a red blade slowly extends from my left wrist. I make sure that the tip of the blade is an inch from his throat.

He doesn't move. As with all elcor it is hard to tell whether that has affected him or not. At least until he speaks. "Unimpressed. You may enter."

So I drag my 'companion' through the corridor out onto the dance floor. The dancers that see me give us plenty of space as I walk calmly by. _Thanks random people. I would hate to have to injure you or break my new friend's hands by clinging onto you._ Only in Omega can this sort of thing happen with no one batting an eyelid.

With each step that I take up to the throne room my friend lets out a feminine squeak of pain as he hits each step. It takes a lot of my willpower to stifle my laughter. _I think that is the first time I have felt like laughing since they stuck me in this suit._

At the top of the stairs I get my first clear look at the 'Queen' of Omega. I guess the rumours are true. _She's nearing the end of her life._ Though you would only know this if you are familiar with asari biology. She hasn't been seen using her biotics in years, her skin is paler in colour and though it is hidden with makeup I can see the blue blotches that cover her exposed skin with my enhanced eyes.

Even as age catches up with her, her demeanour hasn't changed. She still rules Omega with an iron fist.

Ignoring me completely she slowly makes her way to my prisoner. She leans down and holds his face by the chin in her right hand. When she touches him he tightly closes his remaining eyes and starts to tremble.

While stroking his chin with her thumb she calmly speaks. "I expected too much from your family, I see that now. Bray was loyal. It is a shame that is descendants do not share that loyalty. For plotting against me I have had your family slaughtered."

She slams his head down with all of her might. His head makes a sick crunch as it hits the floor. With a slight sadness to her voice she tells the corpse. "I will have to apologise to Bray when I next see him."

Aria then stands and holds her hand out, one of her guards hands her a towel and she methodically cleans each of her fingers. As she does that she gives me a measured and slightly distrusting look. "Who the fuck are you?"

I want to reply sarcastically but the same monotone voice speaks for me. "A merc."

She throws the towel at one of her guards. She makes her way to her couch and relaxes back into it. She places her arms on the back of the couch and crosses her legs. "You've brought me someone I've wanted for a while so I'll let that slide." Her eyes narrow at me. "For now." She turns to one of her guards. "Pay him."

I check my omni-tool and wait for the credits to hit my account. Once they do I turn around and leave, not saying a word to any of them.

Halfway down the stairs Aria yells to me. "If you're staying in Omega let my men know. There's always more work for those able."

I don't respond. My masters will be pleased. I have my way into her inner circle now. So that when the time is right for the protheans, they will notify me and I will end her, causing mayhem in the galaxy's underworld.

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 _Clone Beta: Palaven: Biotic Training Facility #2_

Apparently after the Reaper War the turian attitude to biotics improved. No longer were they marginalised to the fringes of their military. Biotics can now lead troops and work their way up the chain of command.

Their training however is still done in remote bases like this one, currently located at the tip of the southern continent of Palaven. This base is my current target, I am to kill everyone inside while spouting nonsense about the prophet Shepard.

"Are you ready?" My prothean handler asks me as he passes me my helmet.

I nod to him and place the helmet on my head, as I hear it lock into place I sigh in relief. Just like Sigma I hate my reflection. To improve my biotics they overloaded my body with eezo nodules. This has left me with unnatural growths all over my body. My skin as a result has a slight blue tinge to it. _I feel like I must look similar to an asari at times._ Because of this I feel hideous.

The armour they've given me is similar in design to that of a Cerberus phantom. Pure white, light weight and designed for flexibility over protection. So when the fighting starts I can't stop moving. A couple of hits from their weapons and I am done for. _Though they do have to get through my barrier first of course._

I am not carrying any guns. The only weapons that I am carrying are my katana and a wrist mounted crossbow. The protheans have taught me how to channel my energy through the blade and crossbow bolts. The bolts travel slowly enough so that they can pass through most shields.

Calmly and confidently I tell my handler. "I'll see you at the extraction point in 30 minutes."

With that said I dash as quickly as I am able to with my biotics. The scenery blurs by as I smile to myself. _They're never going to know what hit them._

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 _Clone Phi: The Citadel: The Jade Palace - Adult Entertainment tailored for asari_

I check the mirror and put the finishing touches to my 'uniform', which consists of 3-inch black high heel shoes, a black thong and an N-7 top that shows a lot of cleavage and shows plenty of underboob. That is also where the top ends. So my stomach is on display as well. _Hopefully she appreciates the view._

I run my fingers through my hair making sure it still looks good in the mirror. _Far longer than Shepard ever had it, but asari just love playing with human hair._

A buzzer goes off meaning that my next appointment is nearly here. I go to the middle of my suite, stand to attention and get ready to salute my guest. One Amelia Tevos. The 93 year old daughter of Councillor Tevos, who has a history of crushes on the actresses who play Commander Shepard in the various movies and TV shows about her. My job today is to start getting close to her, earn her trust and then when the time is right, eliminate her or her mother and make sure that the prophets are blamed. Destabilizing the council.

Normally someone like Amelia wouldn't be allowed to come to a place like this. At least not unsupervised. But an agent of ours (who doesn't know who exactly they are working for) has her convinced that I am the best Commander Shepard double around.

There's a weak knock on the door and I hear a feeble "H-Hello?" I don't say anything back. She needs to enter the room before I am allowed to speak to her. _It's all part of the show._

The door hesitantly opens and her head peeks out from behind it. Her skin is a darker purple than her mother's. She has a small face with white freckles dotted around her cheeks. Large doe like eyes widen when she sees me.

I give her a little smile, encouraged she enters the room, closes the door and stands there with her back against it. Presumably too scared to come any further.

She stands there timidly staring at the floor not saying anything, so I know it is up to me to make the first move. I slowly walk up to her making sure to swing my hips slightly as I walk. I look her up and down, lick my lips and smile at her. Huskily I tell her. "Hello there. As I'm sure you've recognised I am Commander Shepard." I place my hands against the door so that she is between them, blocking her from moving. I slowly press my chest against hers. "And I will do whatever you _command._ If that isn't want you're looking for we could always roleplay. I have a Dr T'Soni outfit here if you want it."

Brown eyes dart all over the place. Looking at my eyes, the couch, my chest, the pole never stopping for longer than a second. After a couple of minutes of indecision she pushes me back, then blushes a deep blues and whispers. "I shouldn't have come here."

 _This is going to be easier than I thought._ I act like I was taught. As she turns to leave I burst out in tears, begging her not to go. I tell her my tale of woe. The little colonist girl, who leaves her home to become a big actress on the Citadel. But she fails, loses her money and with nowhere else to go turns to this. I tell her how scared I am of my bosses. What they'll do to me for failing to entice an important customer.

She reacts as expected. She dries my tears, promises to pay my fee and find some way to help me out of this 'hellhole'. I can't help but notice how stunningly beautiful she is. She genuinely seems to care. _Maybe we can have something. At least until I have to kill her._


	15. Chapter 14: The Interview Part 1

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! This chapter ended up being really long. The longest I have ever written. Plus I got hooked on iZombie. :) Just to say I have used italics in the long speeches to signify someone speaking. Hopefully that makes sense. I've written a lot today so my brain is now fried! Please R and R!**

 _Mindoir: Jane Shepard: Moments after my ultimatum_

A deathly silence falls over the audience, no one dares to move or speak. As I stand there I try to calm myself. _Shit, hopefully I didn't go too far there._

 _Well, I might as well see this through._ I address my audience once more. "Whatever your decision is, I will not tolerate any violence. Anyone caught fighting will be imprisoned regardless of their allegiance." To further illustrate my point I flare up my biotics, letting the dazzlingly red light serve as a promise of what could await them. My point made I turn around and start making my way back to the hospital. I shout out one last thought. "Whatever decision you make, I wish you well."

Asuna catches up with me and then matches my pace, angrily she tells me. "You could've handled that situation better Shepard."

I spit back. "What else could I have done? Somebody needed to do something, as usual that person was me."

Asuna clearly not happy with my response starts talking at me some more, not wanting to listen to her anymore I tune her out. Instead I look around for Benezia, she's walking a couple of steps behind us looking down at the ground. _I've disappointed her haven't I?_ That thought hits me like a tsunami and all of my anger drains away.

When we get back to the hospital room Benezia takes Diana and leaves the room without a word to anybody. Asuna directs the guards to take me, Liara and Jenny to a safe place while she deals with my 'mess'. Too upset over Benny I don't have the energy to argue with her.

We end up being taken to an underground shelter. _Must be for VIPs from the looks of it. Soft beds, plump sofas, cooking equipment, en-suite bathroom, the works._

Not knowing what else to do for the moment I fall backwards onto the king-sized bed. I close my eyes and try and think of ways I could've handled the situation differently. Liara asks Jenny to make the three of us a meal. Unlike me she takes her shoes off and then snuggles herself into my right side, she places her an arm over my waist, her head takes its customary place on my shoulder so that my chin brushes her crests.

She slowly rubs my stomach with her thumb as she speaks to my softly. "You let your anger get the better of you, didn't you?"

I sigh, shift my position slightly so that I can hug her back. "Yep. Plus I've disappointed Benny. I've been a father to her for 2 days and I'm already failing her." I kiss her crests and laugh to myself bitterly. "That's got to be a record, right?"

Liara moves her head up so that our eyes lock. "Don't say that Jenny. Benezia… she has a very… specific view of who you are. Once she gets to know the real you, things will get better." She pulls my face toward hers and gives me a light kiss.

Despairingly. "I don't know what to do Li. Everyone expects something from me, to act according to their beliefs. I'm sick of it."

Liara bolts upright, jumps off the bed and starts typing a message into her omni-tool. Reluctantly I sit up and ask her half-jokingly. "What happened to comforting me?"

Liara spares me an annoyed glance and then continues typing. "People are expecting you to behave a certain way because, outside of the Normandy crews nobody really knew you that well. They don't know why you did what you did."

I nod, _I don't really know where she is going with this._ "What we need to do is get you on camera, being interviewed about your life, your decisions and your views."

Her enthusiasm grows with each passing word, she starts pacing and reels off to me a list of things that we need to do.

I get why this is a good idea, but to actually do this? I am already dreading it, I hate talking about myself. Later on Jenny walks in with our meals. She notices her mother's frantic pacing, looks at me, shakes her head and chuckles. Which I take to mean as 'Great. Now she is going to be like this for hours.'

Only when Liara slaps my leg do I realise that she was talking to me. Guilty I ask. "What?"

Her hands go to her hips. _Uh oh. I'm in trouble._ "When do you want to do this?"

"ASAP." _The sooner we do this the better._

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 _6 hours later: Outside Shepard's old house on Mindoir_

 _I am never going to be get comfortable in this damn chair._ I move my butt around it trying to find a soft spot. _Liara did this on purpose, I know it._ My interviewer, one Alison Couthard a woman in her early thirties, with long black hair and soft brown skin is apparently a popular presenter on MSNN (Multi-Species New Network). I watch her chatting happily to Liara about the questions that she is going to be asking me. Liara is calm while Alison looks like she can barely contain her excitement at receiving the scoop of the century. _At least that is what she told me when we meet earlier._ Benezia, Asuna and Jenny are sat in some chairs 10 metres away from me. _I wanted them close, to be honest I'm talking to them more than anyone else._ I managed to get a message to Miranda, so hopefully Luna can watch me speak. I hope she doesn't take it as an insult, her not being here. Further back a crowd is gathering to listen, kept back by a security fence and guards.

Alison settles herself down on the chair opposite me. She won't be appearing on camera, _that joy is reserved only for me, better viewing that way._ More confident than I feel she asks. "You ready?" I nod my head _. I really hope this will be worth it._

We go through the normal pleasantries. She asks if I am Commander Shepard, if I am glad to be back aka the usual. _I hate stupid inane questions like these. I was surely tempted to answer back "no I'm not her" and "no I preferred the ignorance of death"._

She then asks me "Why are you doing this interview?" I try not to sigh and roll my eyes. _You already know the answer._ Instead I plaster a smile on my face and tell her. "It's time that people knew the real me. Not the version that they or others." It takes all of the self-control not to look at Asuna. "Have created."

Couthard tells our audience that we are going to go through my life, how I acted, felt and thought in the many situations that I found myself in. _Hopefully this will shut up these so called experts._

The first question. "Tell me about Mindoir before the the batarian attack. What was your life like? Were you happy? What was your relationship with your mother like?"

I look to my family. _I'm talking to them, no-one else._ I clear my throat. I wrap my arms around my chest, hugging myself as I try to speak in an emotionally flat voice. I try and view the memories from a distance.

"The first thing you all need to know is that I am technically not a human. I was created with a small insignificant amount of asari DNA mixed into my genome."

"The reason for this is simple. Mindoir was a secret research base looking into biotic abilities run by the Alliance. I was an experiment to see if asari genes could be added to the human genome to make a better human biotic. I was considered a failure when I was born because I showed no signs of eezo nodules. Instead of being adopted out like the other failures my 'mother' kept me." I add some air quotes around the word mother.

"We had no biological connection. She liked to use me and my DNA as a control sample with her experiments on the 'successful' kids. Everyone knew what I was. The failure, to be ridiculed. So I ended up spending a lot of my free time alone, learning about the galaxy and the different races out there. All I wanted to do when I grew up was to go out into space and meet them. To be anywhere else but here. In her own strange way I think my mother loved me." _I will not shed tears for that woman._ "It's strange but I do know in some ways I was incredibly lucky. I had a home, great education, food. The only thing missing for me was companionship. This was one of the many reasons I was drawn to Liara. She knew what it meant to be alone in the universe."

I stop talking for a moment and look back at the house and the surrounding area. I can still picture what it looked like back then. "I guess this is the reason why I'm confused that the prophets put their base here. This isn't a happy place for me."

The noise level from the crowd increase after my last statement. Benezia is being comforted by Asuna. Through our link Liara sends me a warning that I need to placate the crowd. I don't care about them. My thoughts are with Benezia. She was really happy to show me Mindoir and my rebuilt home. I didn't mean to upset her.

"But" I emphasize. "After what I went through here I do like what this place has become. If all of the classrooms are like the one my daughter showed me then I am glad that Mindoir has become a place where children can grow up happy." Benezia gives me a watery smile and looks up from Asuna's shoulder. Asuna herself doesn't look mollified.

Couthard steers the conversation away from this topic and onto the batarian attack.

I lean back into my chair and try to relax, unsuccessfully. It might sound crazy but I am more comfortable talking about this than my mother. "It's funny what you remember and what you don't. I can't remember the last words that I spoke to anybody on Mindoir, not even my mother. I know that day she wanted me to take part in an experiment that she was running. Knowing what that usually entailed I ran into the woods by our house. She would send the other adults to find me, which they would eventually do but the longer I could delay the pain the better, this would make them work faster, so the whole thing would be over quicker."

"I went to one of my favourite hiding places and settled myself down." My eyes drift to the sky as I picture the scene. "I had chosen that particular spot that day because the birds would be dancing around the branches, I think it was some kind of mating ritual." Absentmindedly I start tracing their flights with my index finger. "I was always mesmerised by their colours as they zoomed around. For reasons I didn't know at the time their colours changed as they danced. From light brown (normal), turqouise (rejection), red (angry), orange (intrigued) to a sort of soft blue colour (when a mate had been found). It amazes me how much of their flights that I can remember, I wished at that time that I could be free like them."

As the memories turn darker I shuffle forward from the back of the chair, lose my smile and place my hands on my knees gripping them tightly. "As the sky started turning darker I knew something bad had to have happened. It had never taken this long for someone to find me. I wasn't even in a new spot. So I made the decision to try and sneak back, as I walked I kept myself as low to the ground as I could. My plan was to sneak back into my room and pretend I had spent all day there." I chuckle at the thoughts that were going through my head at the time. "A stupid plan I know, but I would have done anything to avoid a 'punishment' for disrupting a day's worth of experiments. After they had used me for whatever purpose they wanted, blood, tissue samples, intelligence test etc. They would have locked me into a small cupboard for a day. They wouldn't let me out for anything."

I let the bad memories play out in my head. I wouldn't be able to say anything else till they have. _Crying, hungry and trying so hard not to wet myself._

As the silence continues Couthard asks me. "What happened when you got home?"

It's hazy but I can still remember most of the details. "I managed to sneak to the edge of the woods. No one had spotted me yet. I was elated, I thought that my plan was working. There were no lights on in my home. That wasn't right. Someone should have been there."

"Not knowing what else to do I made my way to the back door, as I reached it I tripped over something and fell into what I thought was a puddle. It hadn't rained that day so I was confused as to why it was there. It didn't feel right either, it was too gloopy. I licked some of the liquid off of my finger. It tasted like metal."

"As the realisation hit me what the liquid could be I looked back at what I had tripped over. You don't need me to say what it was. Panicked I jumped up and immediately tried to brush the blood off of me. I looked around in the darkness for something, anything to use to get it out. That's when I started making out the other bodies littered around the garden. Every single one of them belonged to an adult. I ran into the house. Looking around I could see that the walls had holes in them and that the furniture had been blown apart, more bodies were on the floor. One of them belonged to a batarian. At that point I had never seen one in the flesh. A snarl on his face, he looked monstrous, so big compared to the human bodies. So I ran out of the house and puked. Then puked some more. Until there was nothing left in my stomach and I dry heaved until I regained my composure."

I'm determinedly not looking at anybody. My eyes are fixed on some grass a feet away from me. The excitement gone from her voice now Couthard asks. "And then?"

"Once I could move without vomiting I decided to make my way into town. Surely someone there could help me? So I followed the road but kept to the woods."

"As the sun started to rise I heard voices coming towards me from further down the road. I tried yelling for help but my voice wasn't working. Nothing was coming out. A few minutes later I realised how lucky that was. There was something wrong with their voices, they were too deep, too guttural. I hid behind a tree as they complained about having to find the runaway."

"Thinking that they were talking about me I took a step back from my hiding place, I cringed when I heard a twig snap. The batarians heard the noise and fired their weapons in my direction. They missed but I screamed and fell over."

"As the batarians congratulated themselves at finding me, I just laid there too scared to do anything else. When one of them tried to pick me up I pushed him with all my might."

"I don't actually remember anything after that. Apparently that was my first use of biotics. I had 'pushed' the batarians through numerous trees. Both of them ended up impaled in one of them as well. With my first use of biotics I had almost killed myself. I had used all of the energy I was capable of producing in one go and ended up in a catatonic state."

Couthard asks. "You were tested as a child for biotic ability as a baby and they found no nodule growth correct?" I nod. "So how could you have biotics?" So I explained. Due to the asari DNA my modules didn't grow until puberty, just like an asari. They didn't bother to think of that when making me.

She asks me seriously now. "Do you hate batarians?"

I look up from the ground and stare into the camera. "Yes and no. I have had friends who were batarians, fought beside them and known that they had my back. But their culture of slavery? Yes I detest that." I can't keep the anger out of my voice as I continue. "Every sentient being is born equal. Period. No one has the right to believe themselves above another because of their race, skin colour, sex, anything. I ask if you only take one thing from this interview, please remember that. That thought was the driving force behind all of my actions in the war. To survive we had to unite."

I look at my family, Benezia looks incredibly happy. Asuna smiles and nods her head at me. The crowd also sounds happier. _Not surprising really. I just don't agree with the prothean basis behind the prophets._

Once the crowd settles down she asks me. "What happened when you woke up?"

"I woke up in a hospital bed on an Alliance ship. Once I was aware of my surroundings the captain was called for. He explained that slavers had taken all of the kids from the colony except for me. All of the adults had been killed. He told me how lucky I was and that they were now taking me to my new home. Once he finished talking he left, I hadn't said a single word."

"My new home ended up being on Earth. The Alliance wanted to keep their connection to Mindoir a secret so I was trained in secret away from other human biotics. I didn't mind at all. An asari matron named Kasa Saloni trained me. She was a commando before she had to retire after losing one of her hands."

"The attack on Mindoir happened when I was 14. I enlisted at 18. Those 4 years contain some of my happiest memories. She treated me with respect, praised me and lectured me when I needed it. She showed me what Earth had to offer and slowly opened up my world to other people. I loved her, so much more than my 'mother' on Mindoir. She was my real mother as far as I was concerned." I wipe my eyes before any tears can form. "She died on Thessia when the reapers invaded. I got to introduce her to Liara though, I was so happy that day. Li was so adorable, a big bundle of nerves." I look at Liara and I can see her blushing.

Not wanting to embarrass her further I continue. "With her help I learned how to control my biotics. Though I always held back when I used them. I never wanted to experience what happened on Mindoir ever again, to feel like my life force was draining away. Kasa knew I was holding back but she never pushed me farther than I could handle. I was so grateful to her for that."

Couthard. "So after finishing your training you joined up with the Alliance?"

I smile. Joining up might I could make my dreams come true. Elated was not the word for it. "Yes. Though I had little choice in the matter. I didn't care though, I knew they would be taking me all over the galaxy to protect humanity. At 19 I had completed my basic training. I was to be a biotic. I could've been a vanguard, but I was too scared of using my biotics like they did. Charging saps your energy and in prolonged battles most vanguards collapse. I also made my first few friends in boot camp. They didn't care about my baggage, as long as I had their back they would watch mine. Our first assignment was on Elysuim."

I'm guessing that Couthard is a fan of the stories about Elysuim. Her eyes brighten, she grins and moves forward slightly on her chair. "There are so many rumours and stories about what happened that day. Guide us through that day. What you felt. How you came up with your plan. Everything."

I nearly roll my eyes. _How many times have I been asked for this story? They always embellish it._ I can also see that Jenny is really paying attention now. She has an idiotic grin on her face. So I decide to tell my story to her. "As you might know Elysuim is a resort planet located a relay away from batarian space. Due to this fact there has always been a garrison and frigate assigned to the system. Of course it is hidden away from the view of the holiday makers. The day before the attack we had received intelligence stating that the batarians were going to attack the system. So the 3rd fleet was assembled and our garrison would be boarding one of the frigates in case the ship was boarded. _Except_ for me."

"How did you feel about that?"

"Fuckin pissed off. If it wasn't for my training I would have exploded at them. I wanted some action, to finally prove my worth to myself. But instead I was being sent to one of the resorts to catalogue supplies. I knew that at 19 I was the youngest recruit, which unfortunately means that I got the jobs no one else wanted."

"So I put on a neutral face and shouted _Sir, Yes Sir_. Then went on my merry way."

"So I did my job and went to the lead resort site 'Sunny climes' and catalogued explosives, shield generators, weapons etc. We were situated in the industrial section where no civiliands were allowed. The supplies were left here instead of at the garrison as it was the closest site to the fleet as the attack began. Annoyed I snapped at the police officers who were helping me and was genuinely an arse. When I had to enter the resort proper the human and asari holiday makers gave me concerned looks wondering what the soldier was doing here. I ignored them. The brass didn't want a panic so they were not told what was going on. The attack would happen in space and they would be none the wiser."

"Once the attack began I was meant to receive an update from the fleet, telling me what was needed. None came."

"So cursing everyone around me I made my way to the communications centre, situated on the ground floor of the Elysium building, the main hotel of the complex to see what the holdup was."

"When I got there I saw one of the policemen destroying the communication equipment. Using my biotics I disarmed him and then slammed him to the ground. The staff that worked there were slumped in their chairs dead from gun-shot wounds to the head."

"As soon as I let go of him with my biotics he started blubbering. I didn't even have to interrogate him. He spilled his guts as my blood ran cold as I realised how bad the situation was. Due to gambling he owed a lot of money to various gangs. But instead of killing him they gave him a way to settle his debt. As the batarians attacked the fleet he would destroy the resort's communications making sure that no distress signals could get out. Then a contingent of slavers and mercs could attack the resort and get out with no one being the wiser. He would be the lucky sole survivor. Everyone else would be sold into slavery."

"How did you deal with this information?"

"Honestly? For a good couple of minutes I froze. Too scared to do anything. I was on my own, with no communications, with an unknown number of enemy combatants coming. What could _I_ do? How? When? Who do I tell? All of that was running through my mind a mile a minute."

"What got you moving?"

"The Sky."

"The Sky?"

"Sorry." I chuckle. "I should've explained that better. The colour of the sky that day reminded me of Kasa. It was the same shade of blue as her skin. Thinking of that I heard her voice. _Breathe Jenny. In, then out. You always try to do too much at once. Split the problem into parts and solve them one at a time._ So I did."

"I dragged my prisoner out of the room. Told the nearest guard to take him to the jail cell at the police station. I made my way there as fast as I could. Not caring what anyone else thought as I ran. Looking calm didn't matter at that point. I ran to the chief of police's office, barged in and explained the situation. Once I finished he asked me what they should do. It hadn't occurred to me that I would be in charge. So I asked him. Though he spoke calmly I could see in it his eyes. He had no idea what to do."

"I asked him to gather his men. In the half-hour that took I came up with my plan, insane as it was."

"As soon as they assembled I asked them who the best rider was. When Phillips said that she was I told her as calmly as I could manage to ride to the nearest outpost as fast as he could and tell them that we are about to be attacked by a superior force of unknown number and we need assistance urgently. She stood there blinking at me, then looked around the room to see if this is some kind of joke. She only moved when I grabbed her and shoved her out, screaming at her that this is really happening."

"As I made my way back, the other officers in the room asked the Chief if what I was saying was true. They ended up talking over one another, so of course you couldn't hear what any individual person was saying. Infuriated I slammed my fist down on the table, making sure that everyone saw the ominous blue glow that surrounded my body. When they fell silent I angrily told them the situation. The only emotion that I could ever display better than fear."

"When I finished an older man, Simpson asked me what are we going to do? I didn't think that lying to these people was a good idea, I needed their trust. So I braced myself against the table and looked each of them in the eye and without emotion told them the truth. That we were all going to die here, today. Once that had sunk in I continued. From what the prisoner has said there will be too many of them and too few of us. Our only job was to try and delay them long enough that help can arrive in time for the civilians. We would delay their progress and make the fuckers pay for every step they took."

"After saying that they did a half-hearted cheer. I ignored it as I laid out my plan. Out of the 94 of us present, half would be in charge of getting the civilians into the secondary shelter in the industrial section of the resort, leaving the primary one in the hotel free. The civilians wouldn't like being cramped in together like that but, well once the fighting started they would get over it."

"The remaining 47 of us would be split up again. The first half would help me set up the main entrance with the left over weaponry from the supplies I was cataloguing on top of the perimeter wall. My hope was that we could make it look like there is an army here waiting to defend the resort. Our second task would be taking the explosives from the supplies and setting them up by the entrance doors, except for the grenades. The final group of officers would use their knowledge of this resort to create a path from the entrance to the hotel, which will give us an advantage as we defend the resort but make it as hard as possible for the enemy to advance. Blocking off all other paths as well as they can, especially any that lead to the second shelter. At least quickly."

"I hoped that we had enough automatic weapons as we set them up on the wall. If there were too few of them my plan wouldn't work. Luckily there was. I had them space out the weapons so that as soon as the fighting started, all someone had to do was pull the trigger then move on to the next gun. My hope was that we had them placed so that we could kill or at least wound a lot of them as they tried to get to the door."

"An hour and a half later we heard the batarian slavers and mercenaries marching towards us. The last update I had received said that 80% of the civilians were in the shelter. I had to stall the enemy as long as possible."

"There were 120 of them, all foot soldiers. My assumption was that they were here to deal with any resistance before their transport vehicles arrived. At that point there were only 24 of us, the others were still carrying out the tasks I set them. Before they could get within hearing distance I told the nearest office to me to tell the others to spread themselves out along the wall. Keeping low so that the enemy couldn't see how many of us there actually was."

"I casually leaned against the top of the wall, so that they could clearly see me, not a care in the world. The entrance doors to the resort was to the right of me. As I presented indifference inside I was absolutely bricking it, trying with all of my might not to start quaking in fear as my heart was thumping ever faster, trying to make up for all of the beats it wasn't going to get."

"The enemy leader, a batarian slaver walked towards the doors of the resort acting as unconcerned as I was, right into the range of our weapons. The officer near me, Jenkins, asked if we should open fire. I shook my head slightly hoping he saw it. We had to wait as long as we possibly could before attacking."

"The batarian was certainly confident, I'll give him that. He spoke calmly and with authority. He told us that everyone inside the resort was now his property. That if we quickly handed ourselves over with minimum fuss, we could get good living conditions and 'reasonably' good jobs."

Couthard grins at me. "I can't imagine that went down well."

I smile back. "Well what I wanted to do was pull out my gun, shoot him in the head and say no thanks." Whenever I am bored I always play out that fantasy in my head. "But instead to try and waste some time I bartered with him. What if we gave you all of the men? What if we gave you all of the adults? Basically any variation of that I could think of."

"After 15 minutes of this he reached the end of his patience, walked back to his men and told them to open the door now. I happily told him that anyone who approached the door would die. That my fellow soldiers would open fire. He laughed at me as his men rushed forward telling them that there were no soldiers left on the planet."

"I waited until the first bullet hit my barrier before shouting now! My plan worked, a hailstorm of bullets rained down upon them. Managing to kill around 30 of them in a 10 second window."

"Hearing him growl in anger I couldn't resist throwing out a sarcastic comment. _Was that supposed to have happen?"_

"He yelled at the rest of his men to break the door down, while those of us inside abandoned the wall and made for cover. When the barred entrance doors started being pushed against I armed the explosives stuck to the door and placed around it. When it looked like the doors were about to give way, I told the others as quietly as I could to brace for impact. Once they were ready I set the explosives off. At that point in time I had never been near a powerful explosion like that before. Once the smoke cleared my jaw dropped at the damage. The doors had completely gone, pieces of them littered around the area, as well as 50 metres of the wall on either side. There was also a large crater in the floor. This part of my plan worked, with the crater there it would be extremely difficult for them to get their vehicles in now."

"The blast had devastated the enemy. The moans of the hurt/dying filled the air. The only ones left standing were the batarian and his personal guard. The rest of them must have been too close to the door, not expecting us to blow it up. The officers around me were cheering, thinking that this must mean the attack was over. I wasn't looking forward to telling them this was just the vanguard."

"So instead I picked up my SMG and ran towards the enemy, I used my biotics as I ran to hurl pieces of debris at them. At that moment I let go of my fear, of death, of my biotics and concentrated everything on my attack. I don't remember reaching them, killing them, almost ripping them apart, using my biotics in ways I had never thought of before. To throw pieces at the door at them, impaling them. To pull and push at parts of their bodies to snap bone. Once done I left their bodies where they were. Their bodies were a warning. Only death awaits you here."

"When I came to my senses, my right arm was incredibly heavy. I had punched, using my biotics, my fist through the chest of the lead batarian. The officers who had followed me just stared at the carnage. Some in fear, some in awe. Not wanting to see the bodies either I told them to retreat to the first checkpoint and to tell the others to join us there. On the way I realised that I had just killed for the first time in my life and it barely registered. I knew that I had been trained for this but that scared me, at lot. I never in my wildest dreams thought that killing would be that easy."

As I pause my story to have a drink Couthard asks. "Why did you destroy the entrance to the resort like that? Couldn't you have used the explosives later?"

I tilt my head slightly to the left as I think out my response. When I am ready I tell her. "The resort walls were built to keep out the local wildlife, not an army. No matter what we did they were going to get in eventually. To me at least with the actions I took I could control how they got in and as I said before. Make them pay for it."

She seems satisfied with my answer so I moved on to what happened next. "So we made our way to the first of five checkpoints that the others had created and waited, weapons ready. I couldn't help but look over at the officers waiting next to me. They had on standard police uniforms, designed to take a bullet from an ordinary pistol, not military grade weaponry. They had no shield generators and only a few of them had a helmet of any kind. Their best chance of survival was to keep behind the shield generators."

"The worst part of any battle is the waiting, your mind fixates on the worst case scenarios and it's nearly impossible to shake it. So I kept a tight grip on my SMG and asked the others about themselves, to try and keep the mood positive."

"As I ate one of my energy bars the officer on lookout, Jenkins informed us that more slavers and mercenaries had passed what was left of the resort entrance. Quickly before they saw us, I went over my plan with them one last time. Aim for their heads, shield generators or legs. We needed to bottle them up in the gaps that we had left for them in the paths towards us. When the shield generator covering all of us reached 10% we would withdraw to the next checkpoint. When we hit the hotel we make our stand. Hearing their war cries I lined up my first shot and said. _Let's make the bastards wish they had never heard of Elysium_."

"The first 2 checkpoints went as well as I hoped. Because of the positions of the checkpoints only a certain number of enemies could get through to us at a time. We would take them out, and their bodies would make it harder for those behind them to progress. At the first checkpoint we lost 10 officers. The enemy hit us in waves, once one failed they would try a different tactic. Thinking after the first wave that we had them on the run Jenkins, Thompson, Edwards, Emmerson, Clarke, Searle, Harris, Dickens, Hardy and Heathering charged. I shouted at them to stop as they ran down the alleyway, but they didn't listen. They never returned. Another five were lost as we retreated, where the shield couldn't protect them."

"A small part of me had started to hope. Yes we were losing people but we were holding them back. I thought somehow we could get through this, ignoring what I had said to the others earlier. That bubble burst at the third checkpoint. I should have known that they wouldn't just keep blindly sending their men to their deaths."

"A group 40 strong had blasted their way through the buildings around us and had gotten themselves behind us. Our entire focus was on the enemy barrelling towards us, so when they hit us from behind it cost us."

"I only knew something was going drastically wrong when Peterson, the officer beside me slumped forwards and then fell to the ground dead. The wound was at the back of his head, meaning that he had been shot from behind. In the time it took me to turn around another 10 of us were killed. I didn't have time to think, if I didn't act now, all we had gained so far would be lost. As it turns out the fear of death trumps about every other fear that you could possibly have. So I charged at the enemy behind us, the first time I had ever done that outside of a safe environment, followed up by a Nova punch to the ground."

"I yelled at the others to retreat, hoping that they could keep their heads and not panic. The only way they were going to survive was if I could keep these troops distracted. For me time slowed, using a ceremonial blade I picked off a dead batarian I slashed, pulled, slammed and charged anything that I could see that wasn't human. I had never at that point used my biotics so much in one go, free and without restraint. God it was intoxicating. Only when I heard Micheals shouting my name did I stop."

"I slashed one more time at a nearby turian merc and charged as far as I could to the third checkpoint."

"Once I had made it behind our shield I collapsed to the floor and vomited. My whole body was shaking as I tried to drink and eat to replenish my energy. I counted how many of us were left, only 23. We had lost more than half our number in that debacle. Once I could speak without slurring my words I told Micheals to keep an eye out in case they attacked us like that again."

"The first wave that attacked us at that checkpoint seemed hesitant. I watched confused as they at first refused to be out in the open, making it even easier than it already was for us to take them out. I asked the others what they thought was happening. Parker clapped his hand down on my shoulder, smiling at me he said. _Are you kidding me? After the watching you take them apart like that I wouldn't want to face you either. I mean at one point there you were holding the entire line on your own, zipping all over the place, killing them left, right and centre. I can't believe that there aren't more military trained biotics around. Are all biotics as powerful as you?_ "

"His attention went back to the battle as I sat there and digested what he had just said. I had always been a biotic of middling ability, nothing special. I couldn't help but think of my mother as I laughed to myself. It seemed to me then that I wasn't as much of a failure as she thought I was. Wondering if I could do it again I tried to light up my biotics, but I had used them too much already. As soon as the glow surrounded me the energy would dissipate and my head would start thumping, which led me to another problem. I no longer had a barrier up."

"If that wasn't enough we had run into another problem. We were running out of ammo. Though the officers left ammo at each of the checkpoints they had left the majority of it at the first 2. We ended up having to retreat to get some more. This left some of them completely exposed as we retreated when they couldn't fire back. Once we retreated for the last time to the hotel I had lost all but 5 of my comrades. As we braced ourselves by the entrance I realised that none of us had any ammo at all. Screwed wasn't the word."

"Not wanting anyone else to die I told them to go, run and hide. I was the one that had been pissing them off royally. They really, really wanted me dead. I would distract them and lead them to the empty bunker. Fisher, Ford, Kuwa, Hands and Sarah all refused to move. They picked up whatever they could find to use as a weapon and we all waited. If we weren't about to die, I would've cried and hugged them."

"As we heard them running towards us I tried unsuccessfully to control my breathing and ignore the pain in my arm. When we ran from the final checkpoint I got hit twice in my arm. The bullets hadn't pierced straight through my gauntlet, they were lodged firmly within it, shattering the area around the bullet, causing fragments of my gauntlet to stick into my skin. Blood was slowly dripping down my forearm all the way to my fingers. Even over the stampede of noise, I swear I could hear it drip, drip, dripping to the ground."

"I'm ashamed to say I didn't get an opportunity to kill any of the bastards during the melee that followed. They must have known that I was waiting by the door, 3 of them grabbed me and threw me to the floor. I watched helplessly as my final compatriots were murdered. They took great pleasure in prolonging their deaths. I never looked away as their deaths occurred one by one. They deserved better than that after everything we had bring through. I had brought them here, so it was my duty to watch their final moments, so that if I survived I could tell of their bravery, their skill to the ones they screamed to as they died." I hold back my tears as best as I can, getting annoyed at myself as a couple roll down my face. It's been a long time since I allowed myself to think of what happened that day. Once I have composed myself I continue. "They treated their bodies with disdain, throwing them behind the receptionists' desk like rubbish. My blood boiled. I kept repeating the same word over and over again in my head. _If it's the last thing I do I will make them pay."_

 _"_ 40 or so batarians and turians formed a ring in the centre of the entrance hall. I was then thrown into the circle, landing on my bad arm. I tried to stifle my cry of pain but they heard. Knowing that they had won they laughed and jeered at me, telling me all of the awful things the boss was going to do to me. Making sure not to put any weight on my arm I stood up. My whole body felt like it had doubled in weight. Everything was aching. I was well past any limit my body had. But I held my chin high, if this was how I was going to die, then I would die brave and with honour."

"I looked as many of them in the eye as I could, keeping my face neutral, not letting the pain or fear show. The fear that that my death would be like the others, if at all possible I wanted a quick, clean death."

"The ring of batarians and mercs started chanting. _Dura! Dura!_ Over and over again. At first I thought maybe my translator had been damaged. They weren't attacking me. What were they going to do? Chant me to death."

"When the crowd parted opposite me, a krogan walked into the ring. This I assumed must be Dura. Maybe it was the situation, knowing that no matter what I did I was gonna die. But I started laughing. This 6 foot plus tall krogan, wider than 2 humans with red eyes and black scales was wearing fluorescent orange armour with pink and white stripes around his chest. Pink? On armour? To me that was inviting ridicule. This wasn't armour you fought in, it was armour you showed off in."

"So I told him what I thought of after I had managed to stand up straight after doubling over while laughing. Full of mirth I told him. _Oh don't attack me, oh scary pink krogran!_ Then once I finished snorting I said. _You look ridiculous!_ As I wiped the tears out of my eyes. _How do you not blind yourself when you're out in the sun!_ "

"The room went silent. The others just stared at me stunned, which caused me to laugh even more as I told Dura. _See? They know it too!_ As I pointed at the crowd."

"He charged at me while letting out a low, deep growl. _Be silent!_ I knew that without my biotics working I didn't stand a chance. I didn't have a weapon either at this point so I stood there and smirked at him. I thought that he was going to hit me straight on like a rhino from Earth would. But instead as he neared me he grabbed me with his right hand and slammed me against the floor twice, I felt like I had been hit by a train, the only reason I was still alive was because of my standard issue armour. Developed to withstand a couple of hits from an average krogan. With this krogan the seals broke after the first slam and parts of it started falling off and flying into the crowd with the second."

"As the room started spinning and I tried to get my lungs to accept the Oxygen I was breathing. He leaned in close and asked me in a voice that sounded like rocks dragging against gravel. _Still feel like laughing?_ I moved my head from the floor so that I was looking him in one of his eyes and said. _Heh._ Don't ask me what possessed me to do that. The one rule of dealing with krogan is don't piss off the krogan. Which I did. So he picked me up and flung me behind the receptionist' desk where the other bodies were. I even hit someone in the ring as I flew through the air which caused me to start spinning. When I hit the wall I felt some of my ribs snap. Breathing became a lot harder after that."

"When I hit the ground I found myself in a puddle of blood. If I hadn't been so hurt and tired I would've tried to get out of it. Instead I just lied there, ignoring it as it splashed onto my face. In the puddle I saw something sparkling, I reached out and grabbed it, then held it before my eyes as I tried to make out what it was."

"I had forgotten all about my krogan opponent until he lifted me up off of the floor by my neck. I don't think he was even applying any pressure, but from his grip alone he was choking me. He kept talking to me as he held me there, I had no idea what he was saying. All I could hear was my heart pounding away ever faster. Annoyed that I wasn't responding to his taunts he pushed a gun into my cheek. I recognised it immediately, it was mine. I'd thrown it away earlier in the day once I had run out of ammo. I knew it was mine because of the planet stickers stuck to the side of it above the grip. One for Earth, Mindoir and Elysium. I was going to cover it with stickers of all of the planets I was going to go to."

"I couldn't get that thought out of my head. How stupid it was going to look when they found it. A stupid girl's dream. The same girl who failed the civilians of Elysium. Defeated and just wanting this nightmare to end I told him between gasps for air. _Fire...it...before...I kill...you._ "

"Laughter erupted again from the ring. His mouth opened showing yellowed broken teeth as he moved my gun from my face and pointed it at my stomach and then fired it three times. I remember barely feeling it. Why didn't he just shoot me in the head? Then I realised, they hadn't finished having fun yet. Infuriated at him I started weakly kicking at him, he ignored it. As I went to punch him my hand brushed over a handle. I quickly looked down. He had a knife."

"To keep his focus away from his knife, I begged and pleaded to be spared, he smiled and encouraged me as I made tears fall down my face. I even tried to sound as feminine as possible with a croaky voice."

"It worked. The knife was far heavier than I expected. In a flash I stopped crying, smiled at him and told him. _Times up._ Confusion flashed across his face as with as much strength as I could muster I stabbed him in the eye. Managing to get the knife buried up to the hilt. As he roared in pain he dropped both me and my gun as he tried to staunch the bleeding with his hands. I ignored the pain from my body as I hit the ground. As soon as I could I pushed myself up, grabbing my gun. With unsteady hands I aimed and fired the gun again and again at his head, praying that it was powerful enough to kill him. It seems that fate was on my side as he first collapsed onto his knees and then fell sideways. Breathing heavily I dropped back down onto the floor relieved."

"The laughter that had filled the hall died away. I could hear them readying their weapons. I guessed that they weren't going to take any more chances with me, I was about to face death by firing squad. Not wanting to make it that easy for them I quickly with fingers that refused to stop shaking searched the krogan's body. I managed to hold my excitement in when I found some grenades on his belt. I threw them with what strength I had left over the desk, I was taking as many of them with me as I could. I curled into a ball, put my hands over my ears and closed my eyes and waited for the boom. It never came. Confused I slowly opened my left eye. Smoke had filled the room, I hadn't paided any attention whatsoever to what type of grenades they were. Apparently they were of the smoke variety. "

"I became even more confused when I started hearing gunfire and shouting echoing throughout the room. There have been so many stories of what happened when I threw those grenades, of how I, clad in biotics killed them all, sword twirling as I cut them down. I am afraid the truth is a lot less glamorous. I figured my best chance of survival was to leave them to it. I used what medigel I had left on my stomach, there was nowhere near enough but it at least stopped the bleeding momentarily. Once the medigel was applied I looked at the object I had picked up earlier, a a man I didn't know. I put it round my neck, promising to return it to the relatives of its owner."

"The shooting had stopped. The idiots had finally figured out that they were killing each other off. When they had realised this there was only two of them left, at least that is what I assumed from the number of voices that I could make out."

"Knowing that it was up to me to finish them off, I slowly and as quietly as I could manage, using the receptionists desk pushed myself up against it. To stop myself screaming out in pain as my stomach rebelled against movement I bit down hard on my hand. Ignoring the sound my teeth made against the metal. Once my legs were beneath me the pain lessened somewhat."

"Using the desk to hide myself I made my way around it. When the desk ended I stood as tall as I could manage, which basically meant doubled over as I pressed my free hand against my stomach. As I staggered out to the survivors they turned to me in unionism, mouths gaping wide open, astonished that I had survived their 'attack'."

"The nearest one, a turian didn't react quickly enough, I pointed my pistol at his head and fired until my clip was empty. Turns out there were only 3 bullets left. As my arm was shaking so badly the first 2 missed him completely, luckily the third hit him between the eyes."

"The second one, a batarian, stood there mumbling to himself that I should be dead. I know I should've been grateful, but instead I was annoyed. He shouldn't be spacing out in the middle of a fight! So I turned towards him, pointed my pistol at him and pressed the trigger a couple of times before I remembered that it was empty. Useless I dropped it. Unsure what else to do I tried my biotics again. I felt a small amount of energy surround my body, not enough to be visibly seen. Knowing I only had one shot at this I put all of the energy that I had available to me into a push. I directed it at his head. I just had to hope that it would be enough, when I heard his neck snap back I released the breathe I didn't know I was holding in."

"I did a quick sweep of the room to look for any more survivors. There were none. All I had to do now was wait for the next wave. I decided to look for another weapon that I could use, there was one a couple of feet away from me. I tried to make my legs move forward but all I ended up doing was wobble and nearly fall over. My legs weren't listening to me."

"Exhausted, bleeding and just plain over killing I allowed myself to slip backwards hitting the receptionists' desk. I slid down it and ignored the thought in my head that told me that I should be able to feel my legs. Once on the floor I tried to keep myself awake. When I died I would face it awake, head on knowing that I did my duty."

"I'm not sure how much time passed as I slipped in and out of consciousness. Afterwards I was told that the battle for the resort lasted 5 and a half hours. When I heard voices I felt a wave of relief hit me. It was going to be over soon. I was confused as to why it was so dark until I realised that my eyes were closed."

"I tried to make out what the voices were saying but for some reason their voices were muffled and sounded distant. There were two of them, both male, sounded human. They were talking about the dead that littered the room and how I must have killed them all on my own, he was amazed wondering how I did it. The second voice, the older male replied sad but proud. _That's what Alliance marines are trained to do._ A surge of pride shot through me as I mumbled _Ho...fucking...rah._ "

"Instantly I felt hands on me, one of them going for my neck, the older man shouted for a Dr Chakwas. He told me to stay awake, that I hadn't gone through hell just to die at the end. I don't remember anything after that. The first thing I remember after that is waking up on the Everest."

Couthard stares at, she smiles sadly and leans back crossing her legs. Disappointedly. "I must say that I...prefer some of the other versions I've heard of that day."

I ignore her. _Of course you did you moron. People always prefer the fairy tale than the truth. A nice little story that doesn't tell her about any of the bad things that can occur in battle. That we were always brave and steadfast in our convictions and that we showed no hesitation._ I don't look at her but at my children. It's hard to make out what they are feeling, both have serious looks on their faces. I hope they don't think less of me.

Before Couthard can say anything else idiotic. _Best interviewer in the galaxy my arse._ I keep eye contact with them and tell them what happened once I woke up.

"For the second time in my life I had woken up in a hospital bed in space. I wondered to myself how much time had passed? It felt like a while. I looked around the room I was in for a clock. The room had what you would expect, hospital equipment, bed, a chair, bathroom and a closet. What surprised me were the numerous gifts that were placed throughout the room. Boxes, cards, what look like drawings and even a couple of stuffed toys. What was all this crap doing here?"

"Before I could investigate further an Alliance Captain walked into the room and saluted me. Thinking it would be a good idea to salute back I tried to get out of bed, but my legs wouldn't move. Catching what I was trying to do he quickly made his way over to me and stopped me. Calmly and with concern etched into his voice he told me. _Easy child. You were hurt bad down there._ "

"Sitting himself down in the chair situated beside me he introduced himself as Captain Anderson. I think the shock must have shown on my face. Everyone had heard of him. The man who at one point might have been humanity's first spectre. A legend. Here? With me? He carried on talking as I sat there mutely. He explained my major injuries. That due to the shots to my stomach and my own actions afterwards that I was currently paralysed from the waist down. That they will be able to fix the damage, but that it would take some time. He told me that the civilians that we had crammed into the bunker were safe and unharmed. They had never reached them. The slavers and mercs that didn't resist were captured. The rest fought to the death. The ones who surrendered were near the hotel entrance, not wanting to face the blue demon."

"I ignored that last part and asked about the offices that I had fought with. I already knew the answer but I had to ask, to make sure. He took my hand in his, which shocked me, an act of compassion like that. He told me. _No. You were the only survivor outside the bunker._ "

"Since that day on Mindoir, I've barely cried. No matter what had happened. That day was one of the exceptions. My flood gates opened. I cried, sobbed and gasped until I had to take deep breathes to calm myself down. I asked him. _Why am I still alive? Why not them? What could I have done to save them?_ I forced my eyes away from his face and tried stubbornly to wipe away my tears as they kept on coming."

"Again I expected him to be commanding, serious. But he told me softly that I had gone above and beyond what was expected of me, that when they were alerted to what was happening they feared the worst. Dead or enslaved civilians, a massive blow to morale. Instead they found the opposite. That they were astonished by what they saw from the surveillance tapes. Even as what happened was classified, everyone knew what had happened. Stories were already spreading of the blue demon of Elysium. The single soldier that fought off an army. I was going to be awarded the Star of Terra. The first living recipient."

"Not wanting to process any of this I flipped out, screaming at the universe as I tried to get out of bed and run away from what had happened. Even knowing that I couldn't move my legs. Before I could hurt myself I was sedated."

"When I came around from the sedation the doctor from Elysium, Karin Chakwas was waiting for me. In no uncertain terms she told me that I was a fool and that I was lucky to be alive. That I would learn to behave or she would leave me to wallow in my misery."

"It took a week for me to accept her help but I did. She got me talking about what happened, helped me to accept it and pressured me when I was ready into looking at what people had left for me."

"I laughed, smiled and cried with her as I opened them. It was really weird for me receiving thanks from people I didn't know. The messages from the officer's relatives were the hardest to read. I was scared that they would blame me. The majority didn't, they thanked me for saving the resort and for trying to protect their loved ones as best as I could. That they didn't blame me. I won't talk about the others."

"A month later I attended the unveiling of a monument to the fallen of Elysium. Words were spoken about them but I wasn't listening to them. As I sat in my wheelchair I was busy memorising the names on the plaques. I promised them that I would carry their names with me forever as I promised them that I would never fail a comrade-in-arms again. Needless to say I failed to uphold that promise."

Deciding that I need a break I tell Couthard that I need to clear my head for a few moments. Before she can respond I stand up and go to my family. I hug my daughters, kissing them on the tops of their crests. Liara stands beside me and silently squeezes my hand in comfort. They're the reason I tell myself. They're worth any pain.


	16. Chapter 15: Luna's reaction

**Author's Note: Hi all, short chapter before we continue with the interview. Just to let you know that with the story of Mass Effect 1-3 I will only be touching on what I believe are the major story beats. Going through planet by planet would take too long. As always your reviews mean so much to me.**

 _Justicar in training Luna - The Citadel - Before the interview_

I was looking at various books about my father, trying and failing to get an idea of who she is when my mother entered my room and told me what was going to occur on Mindoir and that Shepard would like for me to watch her interview.

I begrudgingly went to watch her speak with my mother and Miranda. _Why couldn't she have waited? She said she wants me to be in her life and then goes and does something like this._ The show has already started. The interviewer is giving us a view of where the interview is going to happen. To me it looks like paradise, clear blue skies, sunshine with buildings surrounded by trees so tall they could reach non-existent clouds. _I bet she had a really nice life here before the batarians._

I think back to my own childhood. Yes I had my mom and my sister, and when she came Kasumi. But I hated growing in a wet, windy world covered by snow. I was so lonely at times with no other kids my age to play with. My mother and sister would often be too busy with the other Aradt-Yakshi to spend time with me. I can't help but feel resentful. _No doubt she loved her perfect world with her plentiful friends._

Just before they begin the interview the camera pans over to where Liara, Jenny and Benezia T'Soni are sitting. Together. As a family. _Shepard's family._ She's not present but I even have a niece now as everyone here keeps commenting on. A turian newsreader comments on what he sees, he questions whether my exclusion means that I have been lying about my parentage. I clench my fists besides my legs. I want to scream at him that I was happy before, with what I knew about my fake father. I don't need her validation. I'm going to be a Justicar. The only approval I need is my mothers. As my left leg starts jumping up and down, mother places her hand on my knee.

"Calm Luna. Your father had her reasons as Miranda explained."

 _Well why didn't she just tell me?_ Then it hits me. I hadn't given my father any information in our previous conversation on how to contact me. How did I allow that to happen? She probably thinks I don't want her to contact me. _Stupid! Stupid! Why didn't you say something to her earlier?_ I almost cry out.

Why do I keep going around in these circles? Hate. Joy. Love. Fear. Resentment. Admiration. I can't decide on what I should feel for more than a few minutes.

She must be able to sense my thoughts. _She is your mother idiot._ She moves her hand from my knee and places her arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to her. Too stunned to speak I shuffle closer and lean into her. Mother doesn't do public displays of affection. _Goddess I must be in a bad state for her to do that._ She initiates an extremely shallow meld, just enough to get a thought across.

In that infuriatingly calm and serene voice of hers she tells me. _Please Luna. Calm yourself. Hear what she has to say. She's talking to you more than anyone else._

So I settle myself down into the couch and watch what my father has to say. The longer it goes on the worst I feel about myself. I mean look at what she had accomplished at the age of 19. I'm nearly 200 and look at me. I'm _still_ just a Justicar-in-training. Even with all she went through as a child she went on to do amazing things. What have I accomplished? Busted some drug dealers.

 _Goddess she is going to be so embarrassed by me._ As soon as I see my father embrace my sisters, I know that I have to get out of here. I try to follow my training to calm myself but as soon as I get like this. Confused, angry or sad. All of the techniques disappear from my head. Trying to fight my tears I rush out of the room, quickly followed by my mother.

She grabs my wrist firmly but gently. I could break out of it, but I don't. While a part of me wants to run, another wants her to comfort me. I stop straining against her hold as I keep my other hand on the handle to the door, keeping my eyes closed so she doesn't see the tears forming there.

"It amazes me how similar you are to your father."

Shocked by her statement I let go of the handle and turn slightly towards her. Angry and with my voice waving between pitches as I ask. "How can you say that? It's pretty obvious that she'll consider me a failure. Look at what Benezia and Jenny have accomplished. I can't even control myself enough to become a Justicar!" I angrily swipe away the tears that have started falling down my face, I directed my response to the wall behind her, I can't look at her face.

"I do not care about their accomplishments. To be a fair and just Justicar takes a long time. You will get there."

She turns me around so that I am facing her and takes my face in her hands. "It is my belief that out of the three of you, you Luna take after her the most." The noise I make in response shows her how much I think of that. Undeterred she continues. "We asari, when we breed we take what we believe are the best traits of our mate and give them to our child. For me that was how strongly how emotions guide her. Like her you are very emotional. Just like her you take what you are feeling and use it to fuel your actions. It is both your greatest strength and flaw."

I finally look up and meet her eyes. A small smile greets me, I avert my eyes. My voice is flat and emotionless. "A Justicar should be emotionless. That's the only way she will be able to follow the code."

"I have thought that for centuries. Then I met your father. As you know she has done things most people would've thought impossible. Without her fear and anger she would not have survived Mindoir and Elysium. I believe you will be the first of a new type of Justicar, one of the greatest of our order. A Justicar that can see past the black and white code of our order. But for that to happen you need your father's help. Most of the time she does not let her emotions dictate her decisions, but allows them to give her the energy needed to see them through. She can help you to do the same."

I stand there stunned again as what she has just said registers in my brain. "One of the greatest? Me?" I always secretly thought that I was a disappointment, for failing to control myself. Turns out that I was wrong. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her lovingly. She slowly returns the hug with one arm while she brushes my cheek with the other, ignoring the tears she feels.

I let go of her, wipe my eyes and my nose loudly. Again not looking at her I say. "I need to be by myself for a little while. Can you message me when Dad starts the interview again?"

As she nods her head I exit the apartment. Outside the apartment I calm myself and start walking. I end up beside the reaper memorials looking up at my father's statue. _Will you really be able to help me?_ I know you said you want me in your life, but if Liara truly does object will you shut me out? My thoughts spiral downwards as I doubt myself and her more and more.

I'm interrupted from my musings by a soft, beautiful feminine voice. "It is Luna, isn't it?" The most beautiful asari I have ever seen asks me. She's green. _I never knew we could be green._ She's wearing commando leathers that are tight in all of the right places. _Where did that come from!?_ I've never had a thought like that before. Soft green eyes sparkle at me accompanied by a smile that shows gleaming white teeth. If I had to guess I would say that she was a matron of middling years.

I stare at her open mouthed as I feel heat crawling up my body and settling in my cheeks. _There's no way she can't see me blushing._ As I continue to say nothing and the silence continues her smile falters, I shake my head to try and clear it and say as the volume of my voice changes with each word. "Y-yes that's me."

Her feet barely make any sound as she walks over to me. She stands by my side, a small gap exists between our shoulders. _I wish she was closer._ She looks up at the statue. Quietly so that only I can hear. "Wondering how you will ever match up to her? Or what she will think of you?"

I involuntarily take a step back. "How do you..." I manage to get out before I am at a loss for words. _How does she know what I am thinking?_

She clasps her hands behind her back and gazes at the statue again seemingly lost in her memories. "I've seen that look before. Multiple times, on the face of Mistress Liara when she was a child." She turns to look at me when she mentions Liara. I have no doubt which Liara she is talking about.

 _Is she here to warn me off?_ I think to myself. I shift my position so that I am facing her, feet slightly apart, ready to fight if needs be.

Noticing the change in my demeanour she slowly raises her hands so that they are at the same height as her shoulders, palms facing me. "I mean you no harm Luna. I wish to help you and your father."

I believe her, I know I shouldn't as I have only just met this asari but I do. She's not giving off any signals that she is about to attack. Plus she could've already done that, I had stupidly let my guard down while contemplating my father. "Why?" I ask as I relax my guard.

She resumes her earlier stance and looks over to Liara's statue has she speaks. "As you might be aware, we asari can get a tad...Possessive over our bondmates. To share everything you are, your soul, your thoughts, your every feeling with someone else. This is what it means to be bonded. If anything threatens that bond, we asari will do anything we can to destroy that threat. Liara feels that threat from you and Samara."

"I know that Shepard would never betray Liara like that. Liara on the other hand has always had insecurities surrounding her worthiness, no matter what Shepard tells her, dating back to her childhood. I can help the two of you to get to know each other so that she can see that you will not threaten her bond. It is imperative to both of their happiness that this happens. If it was anyone else you was your father, Liara would've welcomed you into the family instantly."

"Why do you care what happens to me? Surely it would be easier for both of them if I disappear?" I get why she wants Liara to be happy, but why would she care so much about my father's happiness?

She slowly looks around, seeing that no one else is about she signals to me to sit on a nearby bench. I do. I put my legs up on the bench and hug my arms around them.

When I look back at her I wonder if she is channelling my mother. She calmly sits, hands placed in her lap, back straight. No emotion etched on her face. "How much do you know about what happened on Feros?"

I look at the ground. "Nothing really. She went there, saved people and blew stuff up, the end."

I try not to let my guilt overwhelm me. So, so many times mother tried to speak about Shepard and I would tune her out. Annoyed she wasn't speaking about the woman who I thought was my father. I've been trying to learn about her now but there are so many conflicting tales on what she did.

Not prying further into my response she explains everything that happened. The colonists, Saren, Benezia, the thorian with its knowledge of protheans and the deal made to obtain it. I am amazed that she can be so calm and dispassionate about this, about entering into a deal where she would die and obeying the will of Saren. If it was me I would be cursing their existence for the hell that they put me through. Then sometime after she entered the pod my father and the other members of the original Normandy team rescued her. Her offer to meld with Shepard to pass on the cipher.

"As we melded and I passed on the cipher, I caught glimpses of her life, three thoughts stuck with me from that meld. One, Shepard would do anything for those she cares for, two due to how she was made she was worried that she would never be able to have children, and that if she did she would love, sacrifice and renounce everything that ever mattered to her for them. Lastly, that she was totally and utterly in love with Liara."

"Apart from that she spared my life, even though I could still have been an enemy combatant. I have never been able to repay her for that debt. With you I think I can now balance the scales between us." She takes my hand in hers and brings it to her lips, brushing my knuckles with them. "Plus it is every asari's duty to help a fair maiden in distress." Her eyes twinkle brightly at me as she smiles seductively at me.

I whip my hand away and jump up, completely shocked and at a loss at what to do. Trying to get my voice level I get out. "Thank you Shiala. I-I've got to go..." My mind blanks. "Somewhere." _Smooth Luna._ "Bye." I have to get out of here before my head bursts from the heat that I can feel building within me.

I run back to the apartment. With her help I can be part of my father's family, I know it. _I am going to make you proud dad._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shiala chuckles to herself as she watches the maiden run off. _That was too easy._ She thinks to herself smugly.

She walks back to her apartment and opens an encrypted connection hidden from the shadow broker to her 'true' masters, the protheans. When they contacted her years ago she couldn't have been happier. Through her connection to the thorian she saw how peaceful, ordered and prosperous the galaxy was under prothean rule. So unlike the galaxy today. She understood that the cost of individuality, identity and self-determination were worth it. There was no disease or war. To be part of the empire was to be uplifted. Through her Benezia's dream for the galaxy would come true. She couldn't understand why Shepard didn't feel the same. Maybe it was the beacon, the message overrode everything else the cipher could have told her. It didn't matter anyway, Shepard was a symbol and they could still use that.

Through her the protheans would have access to the shadow broker and more importantly Shepard. She had great relationships with both of Liara's daughters and from the looks of it she would be able to wrap Luna around her little finger.

The protheans would know their plans and how to counteract them. If needed she would kill them if commanded to. Anything for the glory of the empire.


	17. Chapter 16: Mass Effect 1

**Author's Note: To the surprise of no one going through all 3 games in one go isn't going to happen. So I think I will split the games up with chapters about other characters. The next one will be all about the protheans! I wanted to give thanks to everyone who reviews. Reading what you think always makes me feel warm and fuzzy! Hopeefully I haven't rambled too much.**

 _Jane Shepard: Mindoir_

After gulping down a large glass of water, a pep talk from Liara and going over what I want to say next in my head I settle back down in my chair shortly followed by Couthard in hers.

Before the camera turns back on she asks me if I am ready to continue, I nod my head in response. The camera lights up, Couthard welcomes everybody back and then asks me to continue on from where I left off.

"Where was I?... Ah yes the ceremony after the attack on Elysium. After various important people had finished talking nonsense and pleasantries I wheeled myself forward to receive my Star of Terra medal."

"As the admiral went to attach the medal to my chest I asked him to stop so that I could address the crowd. I had to shout as loud as I possibly could so that they all could hear me. The microphone was on a stand too high for me to reach in my current state."

"Keeping myself together for the majority of my speech, I told them that I didn't deserve the medal on my own. That it belonged to everyone who had lost their lives during the attack. I asked if the medal could be left here, secured to the memorial, so that anyone who visits it could learn of their bravery."

"When the cheers, clapping and whistles echoed over the crowd I knew they would." I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice. "No one says no to a war hero."

"Without anything to attach it to the medal was placed on top of the memorial, kept under guard in case anyone tried to steal it. In the following days a glass indent would be added so the medal could be clearly seen. Satisfied that my point was made I wheeled myself away from the ceremony. Not caring that it hadn't finished yet."

"Afterwards I attended a private function for the families of the fallen." I shrink into myself and cover my eyes from with my left hand. So no one can see the tears glistening in my eyes. "That was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. To try and give the bereaved closure and tell them how their loved ones died. Again and again. The repetitiveness of the conversations was doing me in. Anger and sadness swirling around in my head, making me want to go off and kill any merc or slaver that I could find. If it wasn't for Dr Chakwas placing a calming hand on my shoulder and whispering encouragement in my ear every now and then, I would have lost it at someone who did not deserve it."

"When we got to Ford's parents, they told me what the medallion I found was. It was of the patron saint of travellers St. Christopher, I tried to give it back to them but they wouldn't have it. Said it would be better off with me." I place my hand on my chest where the medallion would be if I still had it. "I always had it on me, I lost it the day I died." I smile to myself. "The first time."

"The next 2 years contained some of the most physically draining moments of my life as my spine was repaired, I learned how to walk again and then slowly returned my body back it its peak."

"I also learnt the hardest lesson of being a soldier. Living after the battle." I sit up straight again and look at the camera, anybody wanting to be a soldier needs to hear this. "Dying is easy. Once done your worries are over and you leave the fight to others. Surviving means replaying your battles in your head over and over and over again trying to figure out what you could have done differently so your comrades didn't have to die."

"I spent hours trapped in my own head, if it hadn't been for Dr Chakwas and Anderson I would've ended up trapped there, never being able to move on. They got me to open up, talk to them, and write the thoughts down, anything I needed to do to get rid of the bad thoughts."

"Just like with Matron Saloni I grew to trust them implicitly." I look up at the sky imagining them looking down at me. Softly. "Having people who have your back. It meant the world to me."

I calm my thoughts and look back at the camera. "Once my rehabilitation was over and I re-joined the Alliance I learnt the cost of being a war hero at such a young age. The troops my age treated me with the respect and admiration usually reserved for the higher ups. Which meant I wasn't invited to the card games, to drink the illegal hooch or tournaments of any kind. I went back to being the outsider again. Plus those in charge didn't want to be the one who lost the hero so I ended up excluded from the most dangerous assignments. Another reason I was estranged from my peers."

"I didn't let it get to me. Not this time. With all of the free time that others used for socialising I trained. No longer afraid of my biotics I trained them for hours on end. Holding warps, bigger detentions, longer reaves, wider barriers etc. I became certified as a vanguard as well as a biotic. Never wanting to be without a weapon again I employed instructors out of my own pocket to teach me how to use blades. My favourites being the katana and a set of short swords. I found that in close quarter situations that a blade wielding biotic can cause a lot of damage, especially when you direct your power along the path of said blades."

"One of my instructors put me forward for the N7 program. I won't go into specifics here but the best day of my life at that point was receiving my N7 status."

"In my time off I finally got to travel across the galaxy. Thessia, Illuim, Palaven, the Citadel even Omega. The list goes on. For each place I visited I picked up a memento. To add to my collection."

"On Thessia I realised what I wanted out of my life outside of my career." I ask Couthard a question. "Have you ever been to one of the beach resorts on Thessia?"

"No."

I turn my attention from Couthard to Liara, One corner of my mouth pulls up as I tell her my dream of our future again. "The beaches there are divine, the cleanest bluest seas that you will ever see. Soft sand with places along the coast where there is no one else as far as the eye can see. Watching the sea creatures bobbing in and out of the water I _finally_ knew where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. A small house just above the beach, out of the sand. A hot wife with children running amok." I wink at her. "The only problem I had was finding the hot wife." She rolls her eyes. "Found her in the end though."

An evil thought enters my head as I remember something that is going to wind Liara up. I grin mischievously as I turn back to Couthard. "Speaking of hot, most people don't know this but I met Aria T'Loak before I 'joined' Cerberus." I add air quotes around the word joined for affect.

"When I was um… 26? I wanted to go somewhere off the grid. Away from the all-seeing eye of the Alliance. So I ended up going to Omega. Whilst there I ran into a group of batarian slavers." I squint my eyes as I try and remember what they look like. "At least I think they were slavers?" I shake my head. "That's not important. Anyway they realised who I was so they tried to kill me. I can't remember the specific reason, it was probably either revenge for a family member or to be the one to slay the blue demon. After the first few attempts on my life I started tuning out their reasons."

"Once they were dead a new bunch of more heavily armed goons turned up telling me they were going to take me to the Queen of Omega. So I followed them, curious more than anything, the goons kept a respectful distance away so I knew that I was safe for the moment."

"As a military officer I always followed the rules and tried to do the right thing, well within reason. So as you can probably imagine I am totally into bad girls." I bite my bottom lip as I replay the memory in my head. "When we reached Aria I couldn't believe my eyes. The power oozes off of her, those piercing eyes and god that bod-" I stop talking as what I can only summarise as a mental shove hits me.

I look at Liara, her eyes narrow at me, hands gripping her chair, body rigid. Through our bond I hear her voice, very clearly unimpressed. _I know this amuses you but stop. The Queen._ She says with biting sarcasm. _Has told me on numerous occassions in our dealings that she could of 'had' you whenever she wanted. I don't need to hear the same from you about her._

Feeling the complex mix of anger, hurt, jealousy and love coming from Liara, I send my own feelings of love and calmness back at her. _Sorry Li. I went a bit overboard there, I wanted to rile Aria in her old age._ I ask her a question. _I assume she's still alive?_ A mental nod from Liara. _I bet she's old and wrinkly now._ Amusement comes from Liara. _That doesn't happen to asari._

I lock eyes with Liara, I think Couthard is saying something to me, I ignore her and concentrate on Liara. I smile happily at her. _Plus I am still into bad girls. You Liara T'Soni are the shadow broker. You circumvent the laws of the Citadel and of every sentient race. All while trying to help me. So do you have any idea of how much of a turn on that is for me? You're the biggest badass in the galaxy as far as I am concerned._ Huskily. _Plus you're mine._

A delicious blush crawls up Liara's cheeks as she quickly looks away from me. Jenny groans beside her and mutters something about us being 'at it' again. Benezia looks to her sister, then her mother and then at me perplexed at what is happening. So Jenny nudges her and whispers at her. She mirrors her mother's blushing and hides her face as well.

I chuckle. For the first time since I have been resurrected my family is acting like a family. Embarrassed by their parent's antics, wanting to be anywhere else than where they are. _I hope we can act like this in the future._

As Couthard gently touches my shoulder I remember what I am meant to be doing. I look to her and she jumps slightly as she sits back down. I smile sheepishly at her. "Apologies Ms Cothuard. I had to remind my bondmate of her hotness." Jenny groans again. My smile widens.

"Now back to Omega. Aira was annoyed that I had killed the batarians she wanted to kill herself. I shrugged at her, nonplussed. Dead slavers are a win in my book. We talked a bit more and in the end she allowed me to leave with my skin intact. Even offered me a free lap dance from one of her girls on the floor below. I politely declined of course. She even said my biotics were good, for a human."

"It didn't take long for the Alliance to hear about what had happened, they quickly sent someone to come and collect me. Another holiday cut short."

"Nothing really eventful happened to me until Anderson offered me the XO position aboard the Normandy. My biggest worry at the time was that, no matter what I did, all I would be remembered for would be Elysium. I wanted to be known for a string of accomplishments." My smile falters. "Little did I know that I would get my wish."

"Were you excited to be working with Admiral Anderson?" Couthard asks.

I nod. "Hell yes. Anderson meant the world to me. He helped me to be the woman I am today. To work beside him and learn from the best? No contest. Especially with Dr Chakwas working on the ship as well. I thought my head would hit the ceiling as I walked onto the Normandy for the first time. I kept on telling myself, this is what you will be remembered for."

"Did you know that you were being considered as a Spectre candidate?"

I shift my back into the chair, place my leg on my thigh and clasp my hands on my lap. Tilting my head as I think back. "No. I had no clue. If you had asked me at the time I would've said that there were others more qualified for the position. Again it was my actions on Elysuim, saving the asari as well as the humans that swung the vote in my favour."

"Did I think it was odd that a turian spectre was accompanying us? Yes but as the Normandy was a joint venture between our races I just thought he was there to protect their investment."

"You don't need me to go into details as to what happened next on Eden Prime. The geth, Jenkins death, rescuing Williams, finding Nihlus's body and activating the beacon."

"Most people expect me to say that the hardest part was surviving the beacon. Keeping my sense of self as I felt myself being ripped apart again and again. Watching the giant hands destroy the protheans. It wasn't to later on when the beacon's message was completed that I truly realised the horror of what I was seeing."

"No. The hardest part was losing another comrade. Jenkins was impulsive and didn't listen to my orders. He still didn't deserve to die like that on his first mission. Ideally I would've had more time to train with him and Alenko. But what will be will be." I sigh, there is only a dull ache now when I think of that day. It sounds bad but overall the deaths of so many others mattered more to me than his.

"Many people Shepard believe that if Alenko or anyone else had touched that beacon they would've died. That you were chosen for this by the protheans. That _this_ was your destiny. What are your thoughts?"

I stare straight down the camera lense, turning deadly serious, I don't want anyone trying to twist my words to their liking. "Chosen by the protheans? No. I can't see how that could be possible. But do I think that there has been some kind of unforeseen hand guiding my actions? Yes I can believe that. How could I not? After everything that I have been through, survived through and been resurrected through."

I turn away from the camera, thinking inward now. "I don't know if there is a god or goddess out there. I sometimes think it would be nice if there was. Then some of the pressure that I always felt could be placed on their shoulders. I prefer the asari way. That we came from the universe and that we will return to it once we die. That it was the universe guiding me." I smile sadly. "It's a nice thought anyway."

Thinking that it is probably best to move on from this subject Couthard moves the conversation on. "You ended up returning to the Council and accusing Saren of the death of Nihlus. They didn't believe you, even with a witness. Did that anger you?"

I shrug. "A bit. I understood their belief in him. He was their best spectre. What annoyed me more than anything was that they dismissed our evidence without a second's thought. That we couldn't possibly be right."

"The only moment of that meeting that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up was when Saren had finished proclaiming his innocence, he looked me straight in the eye. As he did a flash of the vision replayed in my head of a prothean couple crying out in pain as they were impaled on the Dragon's teeth, trying to reach each other as they were recreated from the inside out. Without the vision I think I would've given him the benefit of the doubt. Something primal deep within me told me that he was lying, that I had to stop him."

Couthard nods her head. She seems to be relaxing now that we are talking about actions of mine that she must have researched thoroughly. "With the help of Urdnot Wrex, Garrus Varakian and Tali'Zorah you exposed the actions of both Saren and Benezia T'Soni. You were made humanity's first spectre and tasked with stopping Saren's plot."

"How did it feel to be the first spectre from humanity?"

"I don't really remember now how I felt about that. I was more concerned with figuring out how to stop Saren and trying to ignore the migraine that had been building up ever since I was exposed to the beacon. A constant throb behind my eyes. Not that painful, but god it was annoying and it never ended. My nerves were becoming frayed and I started snapping at the others. Sleeping meant seeing the images again and again so I avoided that too. Nothing helped until we found Liara."

"Why did you take the aliens with you?"

I counter. "Why not?"

"It was an Alliance ship. Surely they would have been wary of having aliens on their new prototype?"

"At that point in time it was now a Spectre vessel. I was allowed to form a team from any race if I wanted. Plus why wouldn't I want them? A krogan mercenary nearly a thousand years old. The experience he had was worth his admission on its own. Plus he gave me his word that he would help me take down Saren."

"That was enough for you? His word."

"Of course. The krogan are the most honourable race in the galaxy. If they tell you they are going to do something, then nothing in this galaxy apart from death is going to stop them. They would never play you, trick you or go behind your back. I've always said that if I needed someone to watch my back who I didn't know I would always choose a krogan. They would never stab you in the back." I smirk. "Plus given their size most shots hit them instead of you."

 _She's fighting herself not to roll her eyes at that comment, I can tell._ "Garrus was always an amazing shot with a sniper rifle. I would never tell him that of course. It was always so much more fun when we pretended he had no skill whatsoever. Plus I thought his knowledge of C-Sec might come in handy one day. What I didn't realise at the time was how good of an XO he was going to be. Knowing he was out there sniping anything I couldn't see, meant I could concentrate on the enemies in front of me. I once told him that there was no Shepard without Varakian." I look to the ground and think back to all of the barbs we shot at each other. "Not really sure how I am going to feel fighting without him."

"With Tali it was easy. So was never going to be a threat. She was smart and scrappy. She would quite happily let you know when you were being a moron. Plus her tech skills were out of this world. I never got the bias against quarians. They have always been the best engineers in the galaxy. Knowing one was going to be working on my ship, getting the best out of her. I couldn't have been happier when she joined the crew."

"Not everyone was happy though with the alien presence aboard the Normandy though were they?"

I snap my eyes back up to her. "I'm guessing you are referring to Williams and Pressly?"

Couthard bites the bottom of her lip and nods guiltily. My voice hardens in response. "Yes both of them did have prejudices at the beginning of our journey. But both of them overcame them. Ash always worked well with the others during the missions. Due to her family legacy she had problems when socialising with them. But she overcame it. I was never prouder of her then when she joined the rest of the ground crew and we were eating together as one big happy family. The same with Pressly, once he got to know them he understood that they were just like us."

"I never really understood Ash's problems with aliens anyway. Yes, I know that it was because of the turians that her grandfather surrendered at Shanxi. But it was humanity that punished him, her and her father over that action. Why didn't she hate her own people more than the aliens? They were the ones that belittled her, hated her and stopped her from progressing in her career. Anyway I digress."

"None of them had any problems with treating me normally. As they would others. Unlike most of humanity they saw me as a person first and a solider second. I told of each them individually what I was. Wrex asked me why I was bothering him with unnecessary information that didn't affect my ability to fight, but appreciated the trust I had shown him. Ash was dumbfounded, staring at me unsure what to do until she quickly saluted me and told me she would follow me anywhere. Alenko clapped me on the shoulder and told me it wasn't worth mentioning. Garrus chuckled and said he now understood my biotic prowess and my existence was technically cheating. Tali hugged me, told me I was amazing and then went back to working on the Eezo core. And Liara." Feeling a blush creeping up my face I stamp down on it before the heat can spread throughout my body. I become very interested in my boots. "Liara told me she would love me no matter what I was."

Once I finish speaking I look back to Liara. She dips her head and gives me a small smile.

Couthard. "Speaking of Liara you found her on Therum, the next stop in your journey. The Council hoped that she might be able to give you some insight on Benezia. Did you think she might have been in league with her mother at all?"

"I had my suspicions but in all honesty if she was that important I doubt she would have been on her own researching prothean ruins. No offense love." I quickly add to Li.

"The only thing really occupying my thoughts were my visions. They were getting worse and more frequent. Whenever I let my focus slip the visions would start replaying in front of my eyes. I knew that if I was to complete my mission I had to do it quickly."

"I went down with Wrex and Tali to find one Dr Liara T'Soni. We knew we were in the right place when the Geth started attacking us. Not anything we couldn't handle and we made light work of getting to Liara."

"If her voice didn't sound so tired and desperate I would've laughed when I saw her there suspended in that big blue ball of light. I know my mind should have been thinking of anything but this but when I saw her all I could think about was how...beautiful she looked. I've always liked asari. More sometimes than my own species, I still remember thinking she had better be innocent as she had no right being that attractive and guilty."

"I knew I should've asked her questions then while I had her undivided attention, but I couldn't. All I could think of was helping her. This damsel in distress." Liara warns me that to describe her like that is dangerous. _So you could've gotten out on your own?_ She concedes the point. 

"In the end we used a mining laser to get her out, I still remember Wrex's booming laugh, Tali's hesitation and my own gleeful smile. Who knew this spectre business could be so much fun? When the bubble burst and Liara collapsed to the floor, I ran to her and scooped her up. She was barely conscious, I whispered to her that she was going to be okay."

"We ran for our lives as the volcano started erupting, in a more lucid moment Liara wept for the artefacts that would be lost when the eruption came. I was more worried with our survival. Tali reminding me constantly that using the laser was a bad idea wasn't helping. The heat was overwhelming, sweat was pouring out of me but them, I had to ignore the streams of it as my visor fogged up. I hugged Liara tighter to me."

"Once we were near the entrance the krogan warlord that Liara warned us about was waiting for us with some geth. When he spotted us he started bleating on about us handing Liara over, blah blah blah the usual. I ignored him completely lit up my biotics and charged him while he was still speaking. In hindsight charging with an injured person in your arms isn't the best idea. We slammed into him far harder than I anticipated. You could hear his armour crack as he hit the wall. Not one to waste an opportunity I grabbed my katana and slashed the krogan's throat. While I was dealing with him, the others took care of the geth. I even managed to nail two of them with a shockwave before they could react."

"We jumped onto the Normandy's loading bay as the lava started rising from the depths of the volcano. I couldn't keep the grin off of my face. That was one hell of an adventure. Plus I felt like a knight of old, saving the princess and vanquishing the foe."

"As soon as she recovered we convened in the CIC to question Liara." I scratch my chin. "She didn't know anything about her mother's actions, though she was able to help me fill in some gaps in my knowledge of the protheans and what she believed lead to their demise. The reapers."

"At first Liara was so quiet when talking, looking at the floor. But the more we kept talking the more confident she became, actually looking at me and the others when we asked questions. I tried to keep my face neutral but it was so hard, seeing her become so animated about a topic she loved, she came out of the shell she had been hiding in since she had awoken. She was even so bold to ask me to meld with her. The reactions from Ash and Kaiden were instantaneous, they jumped out of their chairs telling her that wasn't happening when we couldn't trust her."

"I was more surprised my Kaiden's reaction than Ash's. She was still dealing with her prejudice at the time. But him? I didn't have a clue why he reacted like that. Knowing it was better to diffuse the tension thick in the air I shot her down. It hurt to see her little crestfallen face." Another mental prod from Liara telling me that, that did not happen. I laugh, which must look really weird to anyone else not currently in my head. _This is my story Liara. And in it I am the dashing prince who swept you off your feet. You're just going to have to deal with it._ I receive a glare from her but I continue my story.

"Once the meeting was over and we had set course for a side mission for the Alliance I escorted Liara back to where she was staying behind the medical quarters. I didn't think anybody would make a move against her but I wasn't 100% sure. I knew all the crew needed was a chance to get to know her."

"Once inside her quarters I stumbled and fell against her, not expecting my weight on her she fell against her bed, with me close behind. The images were flashing in front of my eyes again. Black skies, metal hands with death all around. Once I became aware of my surroundings again. I found myself with my arms wrapped tightly around Liara holding on for dear life."

"I would've expected her to be trying to pull away or screaming for help. But she wasn't. She was holding me, her hand was gently stroking my hair. Later on she would admit that she just fascinated by its texture and wanted to play with it, but I found the gesture soothing. When I was able I pulled away and apologised profusely."

"Meek again she said there was no need, that it was okay. She reiterated her point again about melding. That it would help. If I hadn't been so tired I probably wouldn't have had agreed. Even though I didn't think she was lying she could've been playing me, waiting for a moment of weakness to kill me. But I needed help or I was going to start unravelling."

"So I followed her instructions, calmed my breathing, took her hand and waited to let her into my head. When she was ready, she placed her head against mine and whispered _embrace eternity._ "

"She helped me to compartmentalise my vision, to put it in a box to look at, at a later point. In the process she saw everything that had ever happened to me, in random order, bad and good and everything in-between. She saw me locked in my cupboard crying my eyes out as a puddle of my own creation spread at my feet, the fear in the eyes of the dead of Mindoir, the sheer desperation I felt when I fought the horde on Elysium, the pain of rehabilitation and the loneliness I felt throughout my life. She saw and felt it all."

Quietly almost to myself. "I also saw Liara's whole life up to that point." A hard stare to Couthard. "Do not ask me what I saw." It replays in my mind though. _The rejection she felt at never knowing who her father was, the bullying and loneliness she felt being a pureblood. Her escape into the only thing that gave her life meaning. Archaeology. Her mother's disapproval and their estrangement. The ridicule she suffered for her views on the prothean extinction._ "What I will say is that I saw someone like myself."

"I didn't realise it, what we were doing when we came out of the meld, but we were kissing each other, rather passionately." _How soft her skin felt. The taste of something I didn't recognise on her lips. Her hands on my cheeks as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. The moan I made in response._ "Even when I was aware I kept going, she wasn't pulling away either. After a couple of minutes of kissing I pulled away and gently pushed her shoulders back."

"She looked hurt as I pulled back, I shook my head, words escaping me at that moment to probably describe my thoughts, what I felt at that moment in time. Breathing hard I settled myself against the side of her bed, only just then noticing that we at some point had fallen to the floor. I tapped my chest and she knew what I meant. She settled down beside me and placed her head where I indicated. She placed her hand on my other shoulder and closed her eyes. I put my arms around her waist protectively and relaxed. That was the first time I had felt at peace since the beacon."

"We stayed like that for half an hour. After that an announcement from Joker asking me to go to the bridge jolted us both. I jumped up and just for something to do with my hands brushed my uniform off. Once done we both stared at each other, blushing. Uncertain what to do. She fidgeted with her hands, staring at the floor. My voice was oddly calm while there was a war raging in my head for what I should do next. I told her I would see her for dinner later. Then got out of there as fast as I could without embarrassing myself."

"Did you know then?"

I don't need to know what she means. My head faces her but I am looking to Liara again out of the corner of my eye. "That I had meant the love of my life? Yes I knew that. I could feel it in my bones. I felt like laughing and crying all at once. In a matter of minutes I had fallen head over heels in love. My only concern at that point was to how to conceal it from the others. How on earth were they going to understand what had happened? So at least in public I tried to treat her as any other crew member. That failed completely. I never knew why."

Liara decides to helpfully tell me. _You personally trained me with weapons, biotics and martial arts even with the others there. Is it that surprising that they noticed? If I wasn't there you trained with them equally, but if I was there you practically ignored them._

I ask her back smugly. _I didn't hear you complaining at the time._

Happily Liara says. _I...enjoyed your attention. It also relaxed me until I was comfortable with the others._

Couthard nudges my foot to get my attention back on her. I blush slightly. I keep forgetting that everyone else can't hear these conversations. "What happened at dinner?"

I give her a confused look. _What the hell is she talking about?_

"At dinner? After your meld with Liara." She asks me slowly, to try and catch me up on what we were talking about.

"Ah yes, right I get you now. I sat for dinner with the others tense. What was I going to say to her? Will she think I took advantage of her? Will she hate me now? I ate in silence ignoring the questions of the others, just staring at the door to medical willing it to open, so I would at least know what was going to happen."

"But she never came, the others left and I sat there confused, wondering why she hadn't come out. I didn't want to upset her further so I left her alone. Went back to my quarters and just laid in bed thinking how on earth was I going to fix this?"

"At around 11pm ship time, my door chime sounded. When I opened the door there stood Liara. Hesitant and wide eyed. Stuttering she asked me if she was too late for dinner. With the biggest smile I could muster I told her she wasn't but that we would have to make it ourselves. She apologized repeatedly, said she would go back to bed and not bother me. I had to gently, steer her into my room and place her on my chair by my desk. I told her not to move while I got us some food."

"Luckily when I returned she was still there, reading through a number of things on my desk. So engrossed that she did not see or hear me. I coughed politely behind her. She jumped a mile, as quickly as she was able she told me that she wasn't snooping through my belongings, that she was just interested. I put the plates down on my bed, knelt in front of her, grasped her hands and told her with a soothing voice and dazzling smile that it was fine."

"She went to say something a couple of times but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. So she blushed and nodded her head at me. We ate in silence, looking at our plates and giving each other quick looks when the other wasn't looking."

"When we had finished eating and just ended up staring at each other I knew I had to speak first, otherwise nothing was going to happen. I meant to be clear precise and not reveal too much. Instead I blurted everything out. That I was in love with her, that I hadn't never experienced anything like this before, that I would do anything to make her happy."

"Thinking that I had said too much, I shut my mouth blushed a red so deep I must of looked like a tomato. So I stared at my hands as I wished for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Li came over, sat beside me and took one of my hands in hers. Slowly but surely with gaps in between as she worked out what to say she told me that she felt the same way about me."

"Ecstatic I looked at her and beamed. A shy smile crept up her face. I leaned in and kissed her softly. Afterwards she asked if we could take things slowly. I agreed with anything she wanted, so happy she wanted what I wanted. She said goodnight and left, giving me a great view of her ass. It took all of my self-control not to reach out and touch it. I nearly drew blood from how hard I was biting into my lower lip."

"After that I would think up of reasons to go and visit her in her quarters, just to be in her presence. We would talk and eat for hours. We talked about each other, the mission anything. When I would leave I would dawdle by the door, hoping that Liara would work up the courage to kiss me. It was adorable watching her indecision as she sat in her chair. I could see the internal battle going on in her head. Should I kiss her? Yes? No? I would never pressure her, I knew how much she struggled with her shyness."

I can't help the goofy smile I could feel spreading across my face. "So many of my happiest memories are from those days in the SR-1. Being with her made me forget the Commander. I could be Jenny with her."

I move the conversation on from Liara. "It took a few missions but we were finally able to settle down into our roles, both in the field and in the Normandy."

"The others even got comfortable enough with me to ask for my help with their personal problems. For example Wrex with his armour and helping Garrus track down a serial killer from his C-Sec days."

Couthard questions. "Why did you help them with their personal problems? Surely it was more important to keep tracking Saren down?"

Annoyed I stare her down, controlled but letting a little anger seep through I tell her. "They were my crew and they needed my help, that's all the reason I needed. I never did these missions when we had leads on Saren, but there were times when we had to wait on the council, or were travelling. Time we could use to look into their problems. Plus this way their minds were solely on the mission. Not on their unfinished business. All it takes to be killed in a middle of a battle is a split-second thought. Something like, 'That salarian looks like that killer I tried to stop.'"

"Plus to get a loyal crew who would lay down their lives, their ideals for yours, you have to be willing to do the same for them."

Couthard moves the conversation to Feros. "Your next stop was on Feros. You routed the Geth, exposed Exo-Geni, killed the thorian, melded with and then spared the asari commando Shiala."

"Why did you save them? They could've still been your enemies. Especially Shiala."

I counter her with a question of my own. "What is a soldier's first priority?"

"To kill the enemy?"

Gods I wanted to cry out in exasperation at that comment. I breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth a couple of times to calm myself. Keeping my voice neutral I respond. "A soldier's first duty, to me at least, is to defend the innocent. The people who wait at home behind you. As long as the mission's objective isn't in peril, you help when you can. So I did and the others followed."

"With Shiala it was mostly instinct. Nothing about her screamed at me that she was still a threat, plus Liara vouched for her. If a member of my team says someone is trustworthy then I trust them. End of story."

"But couldn't she have still been indoctrinated?"

"Again her actions said different. I held a gun to her head and she welcomed oblivion. I wouldn't know for sure until later but someone who was indoctrinated by the reapers wouldn't act like that. Even outmanned, without a weapon and with no chance at survival they would still be trying to rip my throat out."

"Shiala willingly gave me the cipher, told us about what Benezia and Saren were doing on Feros, and warned us about the dangers of going abroad is ship Sovereign. She didn't act of her own free will so she got a pass. Plus I made a mental note never to go near a mind controlling ship if I could help it."

"How did you feel after receiving the cipher?"

"Better. I could understand more of what they were saying, the images were clearer. I wouldn't know until Illos how important getting that cipher would be. I always joked that if she could Liara would've quite happily crawled into my head and live there with my knowledge of the prothean language and the other titbits of prothean information stored up there."

"What was the thorian like?" She leans forward, puts her chin in her hand and squints her eyes. I believe she is trying to picture it. "I have a hard time picturing a sentient plant."

I chuckle at that. "You and me both. Over the span of my career I have seen a lot of messed up shit. The abominations that the reapers unleashed on us after they started harvesting planets, my double resurrection, my xenophobic creepy clone. But the thorian will always top the list for me."

As I continue speaking I start waving my arms around, getting more animated as I speak. I also get confused when what I am talking about doesn't seem to be freaking anyone else out. "A giant green pulsing, ugly, tendrils with human digesting pods talking plant. I mean who would've thought that could actually happen? A TALKING PLANT. Plus it is absolutely ancient, older than my entire species. It creeped me out, the hairs on my skin were standing up and I was covered in Goosebumps. It could absorb bodies and memories. It spat out those awful clones as it tried to replicate us. The smell, the acid, the spores. No thank you. If there is another of those things around someone else can deal with it."

"Apart from killing reapers or slavers nothing gave me more pleasure than ending its hateful existence." I nod my head and cross my arms. Matter closed.

A trickle of amusement slips through my bond with Liara. She's talking to Jenny who has covered their mouths with her hands as she talks, a mischievous glint in her eyes. I try and focus on Liara's thoughts but she is blocking me out. All I catch is something about plant life, my birthday and the great Commander Shepard.

Noticing my mental prods she backs away from Jenny, smiling at me innocently. Jenny quickly turns to Benny. I raise one of my eyebrows in question and get nothing back from her. Her posture relaxes. Her smile grows and her eyes sparkle. I'm getting payback for the embarrassing things I have said.

I'm not worried though. I have 200 years of teasing to catch up on. They'll rule the day they challenged me. I cackle to myself evilly in my head, causing a concerned look from Liara. Not wanting her to think on it further I quickly start talking again.

"The cipher helped, but we needed more information. So after completing some other missions on the way, we headed to Noveria, where Matriarch Benezia T'Soni was last sighted."

I put my arm up on the armrest and casually place my hand on the side of my face so that it blocks my view of Liara. Knowing how much pain Noveria has caused Liara I want to get through the events there as quickly as I can. If I see her getting upset then I will immediately go over and comfort her. I don't want her grief broadcasted across the galaxy. I just hope Jenny and Benezia can console her while I can't. I flood our bond with affection before clamping down on it as best as I can.

Couthard starts to ask a question but I interrupt her before she can get a word out. I want to get this said and done. "Noveria was a quagmire of bureaucracy but we got through it to Benezia's lab with a heavy dose of blackmail, violence and good old fashioned corporate espionage. Me, Liara, Tali and Ash. Making our way through crazed insects, all teeth and tentacles. Which after some examination Liara informs us all are rachni. A species that was meant to be dead for centuries. I kept on thinking: This can't get any weirder can it? Surely there couldn't be any more surprises along this journey?" A bitter chuckle escapes me. "How wrong I was."

"Eventually we confronted Matriarch T'Soni. I watched on helpless as Liara begged her mother to stop what she was doing with Saren. I was growing angrier by the second, trying to stop my biotics from lighting up. How could she do this to her own flesh and blood? To treat her with such utter disdain. Bleating on about the army of rachni she was building for Saren. The only hope for our poor lost galaxy. 'Fuck that' I thought."

"Knowing we were getting nowhere I approached Liara slowly behind the others and lightly touched her arm. She turned to me, tears slowly making their way down her face. I could tell what she was thinking. _I'm so sorry Shepard._ Every fibre of my being wants to reach out and brush the tears away, but I don't. Instead I ask the matriarch to stop one last time. The utter contempt for me was clear on her face as she sneered at the human daring to speak to her. Thinking that she was her equal."

"I quickly glanced at Liara, the tears were gone, replaced by a determined expression. I didn't need to ask her if she is ready. As I told the Matriarch that we would use force, she signaled for her commandos and geth to attack. Gloating she told us of the prowess of her commandos. That we didn't stand a chance."

"I knew then that we would win. She had underestimated us. I remember grinning as the others looked at me confused. I brought up a barrier to protect as I quickly told the others the plan of attack."

"Liara was to concentrate on Benezia. Tali the geth, I would handle the commandos and Ash would provide support between us as needed. When I heard the replies of _Yes Commander._ I launched myself over some crates and charged at the commandos."

"Through my training with Matron Saloni and other asari I learnt one very important fact. The asari are very, very powerful biotics. So most opponents when facing asari try and attack them through other means. Bullets, tech, hand to hand. That's what they would be expecting, so I did the opposite, placed my gun back on the weapons rack and unsheathed my Katana."

"Barriers are made to protect oneself from high velocity weapons. To be a master of biotics is to be able to concentrate and close yourself off from distractions and to focus on a single task. I exploited both."

"As I charged they expected me to hit them in the centre of their V-shaped formation. But I didn't do that. Instead I changed the angle of my attack and ended up on the right hand side of the rightmost commando. As they fired at where they expected me to hit them I, with one swipe removed the head from the body of the asari beside me. Another major weakness of the asari is that they don't wear head protection. That leaves you horribly exposed. As blood erupted from her neck I 'pushed' her body onto another commando. Stunned she lost concentration."

"While I slashed at the back of the leg of the next asari, removing her ability to move in another spurt of blue blood. The other 4 asari finally noticed me behind them, they brought their weapons around and opened fire at me. I poured more dark energy into my barrier, as after sheathing my blade I created a warp with my other hand."

"When ready I flung it out, it doesn't catch the ones firing at me but it does catch the other 2. Once they're floating I detonated the warp, killing them instantly."

"As the warp burned I pushed my energy into my legs and jumped above the detonating warp, carefully making sure I am not drawn into it. At the top of my jump, knowing I am temporarily safe from gun fire I dropped my barrier, then used a nova to slam back down onto the floor, war cry echoing around the chamber. When my fist hit the ground it cracked open, causing the nearest crates to jump up."

"As they stumbled I redrew my katana and sheathed it up to the hilt in the chest of my next target before she could react. A soft _oh_ escapes her lips. I watched the light go out of her eyes, I owed that to her, to look her in the eyes as I took her life, so that she knew that she wasn't alone."

"As she goes limp I use my blade to turn her body so that she blocks the other asari from hitting me. A stray cryo round hit me in the shoulder, I hissed in pain as I felt the wound freeze. Two asari are standing up clear of their cover, while their leader readies a shockwave. s _hit_ I thought. I had to wait for my biotics to recover, if that shockwave hits me I was going to go flying."

"Luckily for me I had Ash watching my back. The right asari of the two in front of me took multiple hits to her barrier. She turns and returns fire. I kick my asari shield at the other asari, freeing my blade from her body at the same time. She side-steps the body. Exposed, knowing I was seconds from death I did something very stupid. I flung my katana at her, the sword pierced her chest, just missing her heart."

"If I had time I would've cried in triumph, I was so lucky that the hilt didn't hit her instead of the blade. The other asari fell under the combined fire of Tali and Ash. It was then that the final asari released her shockwave, I flew hard into the wall, air rushed out of my lungs and I was left gasping for breath, heart hammering."

"Angry at myself I felt my biotics flowing over my body. She threw a warp at me but I deflected it. I threw my helmet off my head, useless now as it was cracked down the middle. Using my biotics I yelled in defiance as I grabbed a nearby crate, threw it at her to disable her barrier and then I charged at her. The crunch I heard as I hit her told me she was dead."

"I made my way back over the others, all now focusing on Benezia. When her barrier fell and we surrounded her, Ash kicking her weapon away, I expected her to scream and rant at us but that wasn't what happened. She collapsed against the railing behind her clutching at her head."

"I had to grab Liara's arm firmly to stop her from going over and helping her. In short, painful, forced out sentences she told us what happened to her. The indoctrination, the Mu relay, how she hid a part of her mind. As she told Liara that she loved her and was proud of her, I forced back the tears I could feel coming, I knew what I would soon be forced to do, I had to do it, no child should be forced to kill their parent."

"When the thrall of the indoctrination fell over her face again I roughly shoved Liara into Ash, pulled out my pistol and fired three times into her chest. Liara rushed over to her dying body, held her close as she whispered how much she loved her."

"I stood there, looking away, eyes closed. Gripping my pistol as hard as I could, ignoring the pain. I love that asari and I caused her insurmountable pain. How on earth could we have a future? I felt the mask of the commander fall over me. We still had the rachni queen to deal with. I approached the glass containing her when movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention."

"One of the asari from before, the one I threw my katana at, was staggering towards us. Blood pouring from her wounds. Her limbs jerking about, like she had no control over them. If I hadn't locked my emotions away to deal with later, I would have been horrified. Instead all I felt was a small amount of amusement. _Zombies now. Sure why not?_ "

"As I levelled my weapon at her she started speaking. The voice didn't belong to her, it was controlled, too loud and sounded almost musical. The voice told me that it was the rachni queen. It explained what had happened to it, about being the last of the queens, the acid above her tank, about wanting to be free and that she wouldn't bother the galaxy ever again."

Couthard. "Why did you let her go? The rachni had rained down untold destruction on the galaxy? What if they became a threat again?"

 _I didn't think this would be so draining to talk about._ I ponder the best way to say this. "She said they were controlled by the sour notes. That they were a peaceful race. I choose to believe that. That's a lie really though. I didn't want to commit genocide. Simple as that. When people talked about me, I didn't want them to say: 'Shepard. That's the one who eradicated the rachni right?' I didn't want that to be my legacy. I didn't want that weight on my soul. If they did become a threat again I would have done everything in my power to stop them, kill them all if needed."

"How would that have been different?"

"Easy. They wouldn't be stranded helpless in a glass tank. They would be trying to kill me. That's a big difference."

"How was Liara when you returned to the Normandy?"

I start getting upset, voice cracking. "I have no idea. I kept away from her as much as possible as we returned to the Citadel with Matriarch T'Soni's body. Plus after reporting the Council and dealing with their crap, I isolated myself. What I do know is that Liara did the same. Only coming out for meals when no one else was around."

"I thought she would blame me, curse my existence. Without me her mother wouldn't be dead. A day away from the Citadel Dr Chakwas visited me. She was angry with me for neglecting my duties, arms crossed, foot tapping to an irregular rhythm. Telling me she was tired of the lost little girl act and that I needed to be there for my girlfriend."

"That got my attention. I tried to protest." The corners of my lips tug up. "She told me the whole crew knew, that it was obvious. After an hour of verbal assaults I agreed to se Liara just to get her out of my hair. I swear I would never let anyone else get away with talking to me like that."

"In my best dress uniform, trying to stop my hands from shaking and ignoring the sweat I could feel down my back I knocked, announced my presence and entered her quarters. She was lying on her cot, tears falling as she silently sobbed into her pillow. I sat by her hand, afraid to take it."

"When Liara slipped her hand in mine, for the first time since my recovery I broke down. Crying and taking gasping deep breathes between sobs, I begged for her forgiveness. That I would do anything to make it better. I didn't breathe when I felt her arms around my neck, her wet cheek against mine."

"It took the rest of the night but we talked things through. I learnt that she truly didn't blame me. That she was thankful that she now knew that her mother did truly love her, was proud of her life choices. That I ended her suffering. In return I blurted out every fear I had. That I wasn't ready for this, that I was a failure for not convincing the Council about the reapers, how I didn't think I was going to be able to stop Saren."

"Words of assurances lead to whispers of how much we love one another and well...we had sex for the first time that night. For a virgin she had a lot and I mean **a lot** of good moves."

I'm not sure who the sharp intake of breathe is from, but I enjoy it all the same. _Oh I am going to suffer for that later._ Couthard's eyes look like they are bulging out of her head. _Maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud._

Thinking it is best to move on before my mouth gets me into any more trouble, I start talking about Virmie. "A few days after returning Matriach T'Soni's body we received a call from the Council. They had lost contact with a salarian STG team on Virmie that were looking into reports of Saren being there and with no other leads to investigate they wanted me to see what happened to the team. So I did."

"Things with Liara were better than ever now we had taken the next steps in our relationship. It helped that she, she just seemed able to read the every thought, my moods and knew what to say to counteract them. Being with her, I felt like I had finally found what I had been searching for since Mindoir. A place to truly belong, by her side. Since apparently everyone on the crew knew what was happening I was a little...freer with my affection for her. Nothing too blatant. A nickname (little blue), being a little too close to her and the occasional cuddle."

"It lead to a very awkward conversation with the only person who didn't know. Kaiden. We talked things through and I think we managed to salvage at least a respectful working relationship."

"After dropping on the planet with the mako, destroying some geth and their turrets, we eventually found Captain Kirrahe and the remains of his team. After explaining that we were the only reinforcements he was getting, he explained how dire the situation was. Saren had found a way around the genophage and was breeding his own army of krogan. Kirrahe wanted to destroy the base. That didn't sit well with Wrex. He damned us all for casually dismissing a cure for his people."

"Furious he left the command tent. After telling Kirrahe I would handle Wrex before any salarian went and did something monumentally stupid I ran after him. I wouldn't realise until later that Ash had followed us. I found Wrex pacing, muttering to himself and occasionally firing his shotgun into the sea."

Couthard. "Were you worried at all?"

Confused I just stare at her. Until I say slightly perturbed. "About what?"

She blushes and her eyes dart about. I wonder if she knows her dangerously thin the ice she is treading on is. "Whether things would have gotten violent. Most krogans would have done anything for a cure. Wasn't that why a number of them were working for Saren?"

 _Man this woman really likes pressing my buttons doesn't she? I am in control, do not and I repeat do not explode at her._ I can't look at her as I respond. "Yes Wrex wanted a cure. He knew the precipice his people were on. If something didn't change soon there would be no hope for the krogan people."

"I had never seen him that angry in the time I had known him. I told him we had to destroy the base. That a cure from Saren wasn't a cure at all. He got in my face, teeth bared and told him that I was exactly the same as the salarians and the turians."

"Weren't you scared at all? What if he had gotten violent?"

I roll my eyes. "Wrex wasn't stupid, he was just angry at the injustice his race has suffered. If humanity had been practically neutered I would act the same. So I promised him that he would come with me, see the reality of what his cure entailed. I warned him about who Saren was. Would that xenophobe really allow the krogan their freedom? Or would he shackle them so the only choice they had was to bow before him. To do his bidding. Did that sound like the krogan I asked?"

"He agreed to accompany me to the facility. But he promised if there was a true cure there then there was no way in hell we were destroying it. I agreed. I told him that after we had stopped Saren and the reapers I would do all I could to help him find a cure."

"If he hadn't agreed would you have killed him?"

I launch myself from my chair and get into her personal space, edging ever closer as I speak. "He. Was. My. Friend. It wouldn't have gone that far. I trusted him and more importantly I had his word."

Even with my face so close to her she continues asking questions. I'm mildly impressed. "Then why was Ashley Williams there with a weapon?"

I flop back into my chair, slightly defeated. I rub my face with my hands. "Ash. Well Ash still didn't fully trust aliens at that point. When I saw her there, weapon out, I became furious with her, I grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the others. Told her never to try something like that again. That if she didn't fall in line, then I would make sure to place her back on some tiny little planet where her career could never progress. That it would have nothing to do with the 'Williams' curse that it would be because of her. Pale she gritted her teeth, apologised and joined the others."

"Frazzled from the conversations with the others I re-entered the command tent and Kirrahe outlined the plan of attack. Not really wanting to deal with Ash I assigned her to the STG task force for the frontal assault. Me, Wrex and Tali would try and slip in from behind. Kaiden would stay with the bomb."

"We knew our tasks and we went to accomplish them. We got in, setting off the alarm so that the others attacking from the front would have less enemies to deal with. Wrex was very happy with this, he now had more geth and krogan clones to work out his anger on. We encountered some of the salarians that had be captured. They told us about the indoctrination experiments. He asked us to kill him and the others. That they were too far gone. He wanted to die while he was still him. I obliged." I try not to think of the acceptance on his face, the peace, of how he thanked me.

"That confused me, the experiments. Why did he need to do that? Surely all he cared about was that people obeyed him. I would soon know the answer to that question."

"Eventually we came to an office space where we met an asari scientist in the employ of Saren. She gave us more details about the experiments, about his ship, wanting to know how the indoctrination worked. How he subjected the people who work for him to it. She begged for her life. I let her go, sitting by and doing nothing to try and stop this, no way she was going to escape the blast on foot."

"Down into the basement, Saren's private quarters we went. Thinking back on it now I am not sure what we expected to find. Him? Detailed plans on galactic domination? His lover? I was disappointed when all we found were another beacon and a communications panel."

"Dreading touching another beacon, I made myself do it. It was bound to have more information that we needed. Especially as Saren hid it down here. At least this time the beacon didn't knock me unconscious. I was thankful for that. I tried to ignore the vision as it played again and again in my head. Now fully complete. I now knew the planet we had to find and the relay that lead to it. My only problem was now actually finding it in the many Solar systems that the relay lead to. With only the image in my head for guidance." I wink at Couthard. "Easy really."

"As I knelt on the floor catching my breathe and willing the pounding in my head that eerily sounded like the word reapers repeating itself Tali had gone and activated the communications device accidentally. Then the delightful presence of Wires made himself known."

Couthard now recovered from when I invaded her personal space questions me. She looks down at her omni-tool quickly looking something up. "Who is wires? You met Sovereign didn't you? That was when you realised the ships were AI. Right?"

I share an amused look with Liara, clearly she never told anyone about my names for the reapers. "Wires is what I called Sovereign. Because when we first met all he was, was a bunch of red lines. Or wires as you will."

"You see a name like Soveriegn is a name you give yourself. It invokes power." I stand up and give a theatrical bow. "You bow before Sovereign. You fear that name. Probably why they all had names like that." I sit back down. "Fuck that shit. He didn't scare me and I so as hell wasn't calling him that. Neither were my crew. So he was called Wires."

"Plus calling that pissed him off. Pretty surprising for a super evolved above everything else AI being I thought. Also for a super intelligent AI he was very forthcoming on his plans. The cycle, galactic extermination, the protheans and Saren's role. That saddened me. Here I thought I was chasing this crazy, powerful, inspirational being and all he turned out to be was a stooge. I knew we would beat Saren then. My team could take down a stooge."

"Once he disappeared Joker informed us that 'Sarens' ship was heading straight towards us after pulling off a turn that would destroy any other ship. Wrex was laughing impressed I pissed off the ship, Tali was worried. I told her not to be. Angry meant he wasn't thinking clearly. Angry meant he would make a mistake. Maybe we could blow him up with the base."

"We reunited with the Normandy. Ash and the salarians had disabled the AA tower, Kaiden was bringing down the bomb. All was going according to plan. Until Ash's position was being attacked. So we made our way over to support them while Kaiden readied the bomb."

I let the tears come at the next part of this story. I open myself back up to Liara needing her support as I continue. "Now came one of the hardest decisions of my career. Kaiden was being attacked by geth, Ash was in trouble. I could save one or the other. No matter what shit I said to the other I always knew we wouldn't be able to save both. I hoped we could, but I knew it was impossible."

"So I saved Ash. It was simple decision really. Numbers. Ash had the salarians with her. Saving her meant saving more lives. The calculus of war as Garrus would tell me. Putting more value on the greater number of lives. Being able to sacrifice hundreds to save thousands. I hate having to do that so much. But I did."

"When we escaped I stayed on the line to him, as he lay dying from his injuries. Pointless stuff really. His parents, what he wanted to do and things he was proud of. I apologised for my failings as a commander. I told him this had nothing to do with his confession. I hope he believed that."

"Before we escaped with Ash and the salarians, we fought off Saren. Saren who didn't even look like a turian anymore. Half of his body was covered with cybernetic implants. It even looked like he had had one arm completely removed and replaced. He begged me to join him. That the only way we would survive was to prove ourselves useful to the reapers. Then they would spare us. I told him others had probably thought the same in previous cycles but he didn't listen. I don't know how much of himself was still Saren at that point. I told him as I fired my SMG at him that I expected that the majority of his people would rather fight and die then live on as slaves. That is only my opinion though. Hope it's true. Otherwise what was the point?"

"It wasn't a very interesting fight. We spent all of it trying to unsuccessfully disable his hovercraft. He could've killed me that day. Just before Wires called him off I was alone by the edge of the platform we were on, biotics used up from the earlier fighting and trying to throw his grenades back at him. Obeying Sovereign was more important."

"So we escaped. Completed our mission. I didn't allow myself to get upset in front of the others. Especially Ash who was so so pissed off at me for saving her and not Kaiden. Brutally honest I explained that it was the salarians with her that tipped the odds in her favour. I told her the best way to honour his sacrifice was to become the great soldier I knew she could be. To finally let go of the past. I didn't wait for a response."

"I went to my cabin. Added Kaiden to the list of names I had created, the people I had failed, stored in a small book I kept underneath my pillow. So that they were always near me. Then I Contacted the Alliance so that they could notify the next of kin. His parents. I wrote them a letter, telling them he died a hero and all of the things he had taught me."

"Once I was composed, no tears visible and my face was no longer red I asked Joker to contact the council. That day was one of the few times they ever praised me for my actions. It wasn't worth the cost."

"With no other course of action I told Joker to take us back to the Citadel. Five hours from our destination I was trying to find the planet I had seen in my vision using the galaxy map."

"Frustrated at my lack of progress, I started banging my fists against the guard rail. Only when Liara hesitantly touched me on the shoulder did I realise that I had lit up my biotics and proceeded to practically destroy it."

"Shame flooded through me at my loss of control. I apologised to the crew members who were staring at me. Some scared, some mildly amused. As I left the deck with Liara behind me I heard Joker making some sort of joke about my temper."

"I was letting my anger and frustration over Kaiden's death get the better of me. I didn't know how to precede, how we were going to find Saren and stop him getting his claws on the Conduit."

"Much more confidently than she normally was around me Liara suggested another knowledge meld. She asked me to show her the planet from my vision. I was reluctant, I didn't want her to watch the horror of the completed vision. She got angry with me, told me she wasn't a child, she was a warrior now. She could handle it."

"So once we were alone in my quarters I showed her everything. Low and behold she recognised the planet! It was in the Terminus Systems, but surely the Council would approve a fleet to stop Saren?"

"With renewed purpose I told the Council everything we knew when we arrived at the Citadel, they decided in their infinite wisdom not to act against him, the fleet outside would protect them and the Citadel from harm. Antagonizing the Terminus Systems wasn't worth the risk. When I told them that I would go it alone with my crew, Udina locked down the Normandy. I really, _really_ wanted to shoot him in the face when he told me what he had done, gloating happily."

"Utterly dejected I left without a single word, no one would take my warnings seriously. Ignoring the rest of the ground team I returned to the Normandy and collapsed against some crates, stuck between wanting to punch something to oblivion and weeping."

"Soon afterwards Liara stormed in, kicked my slumped form and told me to get up. She berated my behaviour. Told me she didn't follow me this far just to see me give up now without a fight."

"I had never seen her so dominant and righteous before. I ended up being extremely aroused." I stop speaking suddenly. _I said that last part out loud didn't I?_

Best if I just ignore the fact that I have just told the galaxy what I find attractive in Liara. "She was right. Screw the consequences. I was going to see this through to the very end. I pulled Liara close against me. As I leaned down to kiss her Joker interrupted us with a message that Anderson wanted to speak to me urgently."

"His plan got us out of the lockdown the Normandy was in. With the added bonus of physical harm to Udina. At least I prayed that it did, I can't remember. We were on our own now with no backup as we made our way to Illos. I was surprised at how I felt. Instead of fear I was practically trembling in excitement."

"At that point I had never been prouder of my crew, they had all volunteered to come with me, knowing that we would all get done with treason once we returned. I made my way around the crew leaving Liara for last. Letting them know what they'll meant to me."

"I told Wrex he would be joining me and Liara on this mission. I did promise him a proper crack at Saren after Virmie. Serious for once he thanked me for my trust in him. For not trying to kill him when he threatened me. I smirked and punched him in the shoulder, telling him he was getting emotional in his old age and that he better watch out. As soon he would be blubbering about the good old days."

"I shared a quick drink with Ash. I told her if we miraculously made it through this unscratched that she would become one of the greatest soldiers in the Alliance. That I would see to it that she was promoted and that she could see that the Williams curse was finished. She jokingly stated that she would surpass my accomplishments. Deadly serious now, hands on my hips, channelling my inner Liara I told her that she had better. I quickly made my exit stage left trying not to laugh at the shock on her face."

"With Tali we hugged each other tightly, the only other person I was this open with my affections was Liara. I told her she was the little sister I never had. That once we returned people would have to re-evaluate their opinions on quarians. Because none of this would have happened without her. If that wasn't enough for her father she had the geth data that we picked up. Plus I would kick his arse if he upset my Tali."

"Garrus and me, I didn't need to say anything. A clap on the shoulder and a parting shot of 'please shoot straight' was all I needed to say. He snorted and told me he would if I had finally learnt to charge straight."

I look to my knees, refusing to get emotional and failing at my next statement. "I can't accurately describe how much I miss them. Wrex's strength, Ash's pragmatism, Tali's joy and well...Garrus being Garrus. They were a part of my family and the galaxy doesn't feel right without them in it."

"I spent the remaining time I had left before the mission in bed with Liara. I won't tell you what we said, that will stay between us, what I will say is that I promised her that I would never stop fighting, no matter how bleak it got. I wouldn't stop until I breathed my last breath. I couldn't promise more than that. It wouldn't have been fair of me too."

"An hour out Joker alerted us of our approach to the planet. Saren had beaten us there. I silently cursed the existence of the Council members and their stupidity! If they hadn't delayed us we could've gotten here first! A light touch from Liara on my back shook me from my thoughts. She could always read me so well."

"Our only way in was with a Mako drop. As always I excellently dro-". I'm interrupted by what I can only surmise as something between a snort and a cry of disbelief from Liara.

I ignore Couthard, turn to her, arms crossed, chin up and face defiant. "Did we or did we not survive?"

She tilts her head to the side, posture mirroring mine. "Well yes but-" I butt in before she can say more. "Would a bad driver have kept you alive?"

Liara's eyebrows. At least I think of them as eyebrows lower. "Well technically no they wouldn't have. But your driv-" I interrupt her now and say smugly in a sing song voice. "Thank you! Case closed." _I always get the last word in._

Loudly and to the camera so I can pretend not to hear Liara's retort I continue. "It took time, time we couldn't afford but we got through the multitudes of geth and entered the prothean base. Only to be stopped by an impenetrable force field on both sides of the mako."

"We all got out and examined the area to try and find a way out of our predicament. Getting desperate I tried drawing as much power as possible so that I could see if I could bring the barrier down by charging at it."

"Luckily a path opened up before I had a chance to try charging, in hindsight it was a pretty stupid thing to attempt. I probably would've killed myself."

Couthard. "That is when you met Vigil?"

I nod. "It took me a few questions before I discovered that something funny was going on. Liara's face was lit up looking extremely happy while Wrex looked bored. Why wasn't Liara asking it any questions? Then it hit me. I was speaking the prothean language. I couldn't believe it. As far as I was concerned I was speaking plain old basic. At least that is what it sounding like to my ears. A shiver went down my spine as I considered the consequences of this. What those blasted beacons and cipher had done to my mind. Could they have changed my way of thinking? I didn't have time to swell on this. So I put the thoughts in a box to deal with later."

"Vigil revealed the truth about the Conduit. The Citadel was a trap, due to its position and grandeur the races of the various cycles would use it as the base of their heads of government. The reapers would invade through the Citadel from dark space and take it over. Crippling the galaxy. Contrary to what everybody believed it was a mass relay."

"Knowing they were going to lose the war the protheans had tried to hide on Illos. But the war had lasted too long. It described without emotion, tone flat how it had to turn off the life support of the non-essential personnel."

"Liara gasped, hands flying to her face. How did she know what the AI was saying? My mouth was moving on its own accord translating what Vigil said. Without me being conscious of it. Again. That worry went into another little box to be examined at a later date."

"Vigil told us about the last few scientists that it revived after the reapers returned to dark space. They had created a mass relay of their own, here on the planet and stopped the reapers from being able to access the Citadel from dark space. Hence why Saren was here. This was the Conduit. He had a back door to the Citadel that no one knew about, he was going to let the reapers in."

"Everyone alive in the galaxy today owes their existence to those few scientists. Without them we wouldn't have stood a chance. How scary it must have been for them. So few waking, knowing that their species was done for. I hope that they died peacefully and with honour. They earned that."

"Once we had Vigil's programme for the Citadel I had to practically drag Liara away from it. He was losing what little power he had left, he had only a few minutes left before he powered down, never to awaken again. I ached for her. I knew that leaving it behind would hurt. But the galaxy needed us."

"With my" pointed look to Liara " _excellent_ driving skills I drove the mako through the prothean made relay. Contacting Joker along the way to meet us at the Citadel with the Normandy and whatever help he could bring from Hackett."

Pausing for thought I lean back into the chair, stretch my legs out in front of me and place my hands behind my head and look at the sky. Sombrely. "You know it occurs to me that I have done a lot of firsts. First human spectre, first living human to receive the Star of Terra, first person to receive multiple awards of the Star of Terra, first person resurrected, first person resurrected twice, first person to drive a land vehicle through a relay." Concern from Liara reaches me through our bond. _It's alright love._ I give her a quick smile breaking me from my mood. "I just wonder sometimes that's all. Maybe someone else could have done this better?" A firm _No_ echoes through my head. I smile absentmindedly. Liara is always there to prop me back up.

I keep looking up at the sky, it's actually easier to talk like this. "When we reached our destination we crash landed in the middle of a war zone. Guns firing, civilians screaming and geth were everywhere. After cleaning out the immediate area I approached Avina for information on the state of the Citadel. I learnt that the Council had been evacuated and that Saren was headed to their tower. Every fibre of my being wanted to stay where I was and help the civilians but I couldn't. This would only end when Saren was dead."

"It took an hour to fight our way through to and then up the tower. We even had to walk outside the tower at one point. I would've loved to been able to just stand there, staring off into space, marvelling at how much of it is still undiscovered. But I couldn't, so instead I kept my eyes firmly on the tower, one foot forward and then another."

"When we reached the entrance to the Council chambers I told Liara and Wrex to take a quick break. We needed it, so we could catch our breath, heal any wounds and let our biotics recover. We were exhausted from the non-stop fighting while Saren could conserve his energy. The odds were firmly in his favour."

"I looked to Liara, the archaeologist who should never have followed me here. She should still be at a dig site. Safe. Her eyes were resolute, focused, she had no regrets."

"Not caring that Wrex would be watching I hugged her tightly, trying to impart with it how much she meant to me. I whispered to her to stay in cover, to be our backup as me and Wrex did the heavy lifting. As she tried to keep herself together she whispered back to me not to die. I brushed her cheek with my hand. I didn't say anything back. I couldn't promise that. I didn't tell her that if it is a choice between her and me I would sacrifice myself in an instance."

"I gently pulled away, trying to ignore her as she tightened her hold around me before letting me go. I slapped my hand down onto Wrex's shoulder, he tells me he is ready. He quickly glanced to Liara. I didn't need to hear him say it. No matter what he would protect her."

"Trying to ignore the ache of my muscles and the tears in my armour I walked into the Council chambers. There was Saren standing in the centre of the room, typing away at a console. I stood as defiantly as I could a few feet away from him while the others got into cover. He looked so different then. He tells me that he has been upgraded by Sovereign again. It wasn't exactly subtle. Apart from a small area of the right hand side of his face his entire body was covered in metal and tubes."

"He calmly, methodically told me again that this was the only way. Working in partnership with the reapers was better than extinction."

"I yelled back at him, gesturing around, getting angrier with how calm he was. I told him again that he was just a tool of the reapers, to be discarded when his purpose was fulfilled. Where was his pride? His honour? Everything that made him a turian?"

"He hesitated, then quickly looked up to his right. Suddenly scared, an emotion I didn't think him capable of as he whined. _No master I-_ "

"Ignoring the sound of shock from Liara I got up in his face, standing on my toes so I could look him in the eyes. More controlled now I questioned him. _Master!? Does the great Saren Arterius call his reaper partner master? What happened to the Spectre? The leader of turians? The warrior? You've allowed Sovereign into your head. Traded away everything that made you who you are. If the price of survival is to be an empty shell_ I grabbed his gun from his holster and pointed it at his head. _Then I would rather die now._ "

"He studied me, his turian eye widening. He screamed over and over again to _shut up_! I thought he was talking to me until he turned away and screamed more at nothing. Finally he turned back to me face serene, hand out for his gun. I passed it back to him. My gut said to trust him. He pointed it at his head, I think he smiled. _Thank you. For allowing me to die with honour._ With that he blew his brains out."

"Liara and Wrex walked up to me stunned. Wrex grunted and then kicked his corpse. _Bastard should've put up a fight._ I roll my eyes at him and used the programme Vigil gave me to re-open the Citadel arm and block out the reapers from entering from dark space."

"Joker contacts us with Hackett on the line. The fleet was ready. But there's a dilemma. The Destiny Ascension is in dire need of assistance from the geth forces. Does the fleet help them or wait for the Citadel arms to open before attacking Sovereign."

"I tuned out what was being said to me. As Liara and Wrex debated the merits of saving the Council, a little voice, my voice as a child was speaking to me, crying and begging, almost too much to speak. _Please no. Don't do this to me. Don't make me responsible for more deaths. I can't. The weight will be do much._ So many lives were now dependant on my decision."

"I told Hackett to save the Ascension. I knew that we would lose ships but maybe just maybe if the Council survived they would finally listen to me. Plus it must have been full of innocents. Those soldiers on those ships knew what their duty was. They'd be prepared for the end. Liara tells me it was the best decision I could make. Wrex states that I will regret it later. I'm about to tell him I would have regretted my decision either way when the dead corpse of Saren attacked."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Liara T'Soni_

As my love explains to the galaxy at large what happened I replay the memory in my head.

 _As Shepard finishes her communication with the human fleet Wrex suddenly grabs me and tries to spin me around so that I am in front of him. I glimpse the fear in Shepard's eyes as pain sears at my side and we fall to the ground. I have no idea what hit us, Wrex has taken the brunt of the attack, he lays there unmoving, half his armour looks like it has melted off. His skin looks like it is bubbling. As I pour all of our medigel over his wounds I search for Shepard._

 _She stands shocked, breathing hard as she stares at Saren. 'No that's impossible he killed himself.' I think. I try and get my blurring eyes to focus on him. Instead of Saren I see a gleaming black skeleton of a turian, red eyes judge us unworthy._

 _A deep dark ancient voice speaks, derision and hate drips from his voice. WE ARE INEVITABLE. YOU CANNOT STOP US. WE ARE YOUR END._

 _Shepard quickly glances at us, to check our condition. Her biotics are flaring unlike anything I have seen before, they look like blue flames. I try to get up, she needs my aid. I cry out in pain, my head spins and I fall back down._

 _A cry of anguish and pain rips from her lips as she stares hatred clear in her eyes at sovereign. 'It's on now you SON OF A BITCH'. She charges forwards._

 _I want to scream, to tell her to think, her brain switches off when she is this angry. But I can't. Words won't come out of my mouth. He anticipates her attack and fires off another red beam where he expects her to be. But she isn't there. Somehow she is using her biotics to as she would later tell me 'flash step'. To use the first part of a charge to move almost instantly from one point to another without the explosive hit at the end. As Sovereign unleashes another beam attack at her she has already moved again. If I didn't know better I would say she was teleporting from spot to spot, even bouncing off the walls._

 _When there was an opening between attacks she would appear in front of Sovereign and with biotic assistance punch and kick at him, her other weapons forgotten. Even over the sounds of the beam and Shepard's snarls you could hear her armour breaking, falling apart, surely the pain must be excruciating as her bones cracked and broke._

 _He must've been anticipating her next blow. As she went to punch him across the face he ducked back and ran his claws, claws too big for a turian across her chest. Her barrier, her armour doing nothing to protect her. I didn't think she could scream like that. It echoes throughout the chamber, higher in pitch than I thought her capable of. Shepard staggers back one arm clutching at her chest._

 _'_ _I REPEAT. YOU CANNOT WIN. WE ARE UNKNOWABLE, UNSTOPPABLE, YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE US. YOU WILL WELCOME OUR EMBRACE.' The voice of Sovereign states as he jumps back. I try and move, keeping my mouth closed so no gasps of pain escapes me. I crawl towards them._

 _For the first time in my life I see fear reflected in her eyes as she looks at me, trying to get air into her lungs. 'THEY WILL ALL DIE.'_

 _That triggers something in Shepard, she glares, forces herself up somehow ignoring the pain she feels as Sovereign readies himself. The biotic flames reappear over Shepard. 'How can she stand? Let alone concentrate like that?'_

 _The flames slowly dissipate as the energy rushes to her hands. The energy turns from blue to white at the concentration of dark energy. Without even gesturing she grabs Sovereign. He struggles but the hold he is in is too strong. Her arms rise above her head as Sovereign soars into the air._

 _'_ _YOU WILL YIELD SHEPARD'. It speaks still sure of its victory. Sweat drips down her face, her body trembles through the energy it is holding. She smiles. It doesn't reach her eyes. She slams and lift Saren repeatedly._

 _'_ _I'. Slam. 'WILL'. Slam. 'NEVER'. Slam. 'YIELD'. Slam. 'YOU.' Slam 'MOTHER'. Slam. 'FUCKING.' Slam. 'PIECE.' Slam. ''OF.' Slam. 'SHIT.' A crater forms from the force of the slams. Cracks spread out across the floor one nearly reaching me._

 _Shepard sways as Sovereign somehow crawls out of the crater. One arm gone, legs barely capable of standing. 'WE WILL WIN IN THE END SHEPARD.'_

 _She grabs him again and pulls him towards her. He flies through the sky. I watch her blood dripping from her arm as she pulls it back and launches herself forward in a charge. Screaming in defiance as her fist connects and then travels through his face. Red blood erupts from her hand as bones break piercing her. Her glove had disintegrated long ago._

 _As what is left of Saren falls to the floor she speaks. Slurring her words trying to stay conscious she manages. 'That was for Kaiden.' She staggers 2 steps towards me before joining what remains of Saren on the floor. 'I love you'. She whispers._

 _Before I can get to her a piece of Saren just destroyed by the Alliance ships crashes into the chambers. I look to Shepard, trying to tell her that I love her too but fail as I black out._


	18. Chapter 17: The Empire

**Author's Note: Managed to get this done quickly, so thought I might as well get it posted! Next chaper will most likely cover the time between ME1 and 2. As always R and R!**

 _The Prothean General Corthius - Unknown Space at the edge of the Milky Way_

I slowly drag my fingers across the surface of the water. Many have believed that water from our home world would feel different. Unique, vibrant. Like it belonged with us. Others on this ship have marvelled at the quality of it. To me it is just that, water. No better and no worse than water from any other planet. Maybe it isn't the same after the reapers destroyed the surface so long ago.

 _No matter. It has improved morale and in the end that refocuses them on their duties._ I walk away from the container, waving indifferently at one of my attendants to take it away.

I look out into the blackness of space. _Our space._ To be the first member of the royal family in this galaxy, for over 50, 000 years is an honour. I walk to the opposite side of the viewing deck where I can see the relay. The construction of the galactic relay is progressing slowly. Much more slowly than I would've liked. When complete, it will be 5 times the size of a normal mass relay. What little light here reflects off of it shining silver surface. _This_ is a testament to the greatness of my race. To do something that no one has ever done before. Not even the infernal _reapers_. To be able to traverse the dark space between this galaxy and the Andromeda galaxy in a matter of months.

Could the reapers have accomplished this? No they are creatures of habit. Never breaking their vaunted cycle until now. When complete the armies of the empire will sweep over this galaxy, to reclaim everything that is _rightfully_ ours. But first we must be patient. Until war breaks out between the various factions of this tepid galaxy. Then we can take the resources we need without the worry of close scrutiny. Our actions can then be blamed on others. If we are discovered beforehand, there are too few of us here to be able to resist a united front of this galaxy's races.

The light, weak, amused voice of my sister breaks me away from my thoughts. "You can admit you're scared. I will not think any less of you little brother." The soft blue glow of the VI rendered body of my sister, the Queen stands before me. Communicating from the throne world in Andromeda. She looks thinner now, her back eyes looked to have milked over. She has aged so much while I slept. Instead of wearing the clothing of our race she wears the clothing of the savoids. Flowing garments that hide her body, hiding the failing body behind it. The sleeves hide her hands and the bottom drags along the floor. _Why has she appeared before me in such clothes? We are all warriors. We should dress as such. Not give in to weak displays of unity with lesser races._

I want to berate her for betraying our race but I don't. She _is_ my Queen. Though I disagree with her on many things, she deserves my respect.

She covers her mouth and laughs as I try to hide my disdain. "You need to learn to lighten up little brother."

I look away, trying not to clench my fist. "That is not our way."

She stops laughing as she lowers her hand and places it with her other behind her back. Finally some semblance of the Queen she is meant to be. "Things have turned out so different from what we were expecting haven't they?"

She is right. We were meant to return to an empty galaxy. Reaped of all space faring life. We would then use the crucible to obliterate the reapers and then rule over two galaxies.

I look back out into space, allowing my posture to relax somewhat. "The matter is in hand. This galaxy is close to tearing itself apart. The clones of the Shepard will further destabilize things."

My Queen moves so that she stands behind me. Studying me as she always has. Voice becoming more serious. "The Shepard. Tell me brother, are you watching the interviews?"

I look over my shoulder at her. "No. I already have all of the pertinent information about her that I need. Plans are in motion to contain any threat she poses."

Her remaining clear eyes narrow at me. She goes to touch me and then thinks better of it. _Is she actually concerned?_ "Do not underestimate her. Everyone she has faced has done that. Do not fall into the same trap." She warns me.

"I will not." I nod my head as I speak. _Does she truly think I am that foolish?_

She questions me as she walks forward and tries to place her hand on the glass. "Do you think we have changed brother? Would we fail again if we faced them?"

I don't need to ask what she means. We failed before because we couldn't adapt. We only had one way of doing things. I must reassure her. "No I do not. We allow the other races more autonomy in their own worlds. They can have some power in the senate. We allow them a voice. They let us know when we are not serving the best interests of the empire." _Whether we listen or not is up to us._

She nods at me. She seems appeased for the moment. "What news do we have of the reapers?"

I snarl at the word. I quickly turn away so that she doesn't see my momentary loss of control as for something to do with my hands I clench hard on the grip of my pistol locked on my waist. My mind taunts me. _Is it fear or anger that causes you to act like this?_

"The reapers." I spit out the word. _May they burn forever._ "Know something is going on. But they will never suspect us." I become amused. "We have been reaped after all." Making sure that my voice is level again I continue. "They will chase down any other lead, no matter how illogical it is before they will even remotely consider us."

"I'm glad." She walks to the centre of the room and I follow. She turns to face me and places her hands just above where my shoulders are. "You know you won't be getting any help don't you? The senate will not approve any more ships until the relay is built."

 _Why am I not surprised they would abandon us?_ "No matter as I said everything is in hand. Plus it would take 20 years for them to get here from the last relay in dark space." There will be a reckoning when I return victorious. You _never_ abandon your people in hostile territory.

A smile graces her face as she bows to me ever so slightly. _A Queen must never lower herself before her subjects._ "Be well brother. Return what is rightfully ours."

With that the holographic display of her turns off. I do not like this subterfuge. We should meet our enemies on the battlefield, with honour. Not chip away at them from the side-lines like this. _It is not your place to question. Only enforce the will of the senate as best you can._

I need a reminder of why I am doing this. To get me to refocus myself on the task at hand. I return to my cabin, where in the centre of my room awaits a memory shard on top of a decorative table. The table is one of the very few items left from our original home world. Along the surface it details through pictures our earliest history. The eradication of the monstrous Zobi using biotics for the first time.

On the console in front of the table I type in the passcode to lift the obliteration field that surrounds the objects. Anyone foolish enough to try and touch them would suffer a most painful death. Only the most elite of protheans will have permission to view these memories.

I slow my breathing and centre myself. I do not wish to become lost in the whirlwind of memories that are stored within the shard. Within the shard are memories of our exodus from this galaxy, fleeing the reapers, to the Andromeda galaxy, the rebuilding of our race, spreading across that galaxy and finally our journey home.

 _I control the flow, the flow does not control me, you wish to observe and not get stuck in individual memories. Allow the stronger thoughts to inform you of what is happening._ I repeat this mantra to myself repeatedly as I grab hold of the shard and lower my mental defences.

The memories attack me all at once wanting to be free of the shard. But I am stronger. I restrict the flow of memories and focus on the ones I want to see. The earliest memory in the shard. The last true meeting of the protheans in this galaxy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _In the shard_

As it became clearer to us that the reapers were going to win. That it was too late to try and use the crucible. _There is no end to them! We're barely slowing them down. Let alone think of counterattacking._ Our leaders put contingency plans in place. The primary plan was to try and hide underneath selected planets, obliterate the surface so the reapers would move on and then emerge once the reapers left the galaxy. _It's our best chance can't you see that! Surely we can hide in cyro tubes until they leave?_ The secondary plan was to leave behind beacons and archives for the primitive races to find. So that they at least had some warning of what is to come. _Maybe they will succeed where we failed._ Finally the tertiary plan, the one most thought would fail. To send a fleet through dark space to the nearest galaxy. Andromeda. _When selecting the crews make sure to emphasize the rewards. The first protheans in a new galaxy. Rather than the much more likely outcome. Death._

In a sector of space far removed from the war. 500 ships were gathered filled with 300,000 cyro pods, 10,000 crew members, fuel, terraforming equipment and 500 memory shards.

The 'lucky' few are selected for the cyro pods. Scientists, warriors, doctors, farmers etc. The crews of the ships, of middling nobility were focused and resolute in their duty. They would not see the journey's end but their ancestors could. _For the glory of the empire. That is all the reason I need._ Their positions in the empire would be raised. _Rejoice! For you are the guardians of our future!_

I watch as the fleet makes its slow journey across dark space for 500 years. The generations that tended to the fleet are born, grow, mate, fade and die before my eyes. The once strong fleet starts to decline. Parts break, ships are cannibalised for working parts, systems fail from constant use. Decks from the ships are closed off. Temperatures are slowly decreased. The caretakers lose hope of ever reaching their destination. Thousands of protheans die unaware as their cyro tubes are turned off, the more important individuals need their power.

 _The others talk as if this is purgatory. That this life must be punishment for previous deeds. Why would anyone willingly subject themselves to this bleak, repetitive life?_

Finally something amazing is spotted in the distance. A small light. _Is that… Is that this star object that we learnt about through the education tapes? How can it be so small?_

Of the 500 ships that began, only 219 make it to what will be called the Ba'Shak system. There is so little fuel left. Only 3 solar systems are within reach. Probes are sent out to find suitable planets for terraforming.

 _The planets are so round. So beautiful. I have never seen so much green, brown, blue, orange, red and purple. So, so much different than the black and grey of space and our ships. What will it be like standing on one? To feel dirt on my feet? See clouds in the sky? To finally be warm?_

Planets are found in all three solar systems. The fleet splits. Communication buoys are left so that the empire can keep in contact with itself.

Terraforming equipment is sent down to the planet's surface. 3 years are needed to make the world ready for our people. _Please, I can't die yet. Not when we are so close to landing. Let my feet touch the ground. Then you can have my life._

We land. The remaining protheans are awoken. _We are treated as heroes. Nobles. We have finally fulfilled our purpose. But why do they look so different from us? They are taller, more muscular. Their voices are louder and stronger than ours. Their carapaces are brown while ours are white. Are we really the same?_

The next 3 generations build, breed and expand on their solar systems. _The white ones are useless, feeble creatures. We are the heroes! We have rebuilt! Maybe some hard work will toughen them up._ Thus heroes are turned into slaves.

2 generations later space starts to become an issue. There is no eezo in these systems. We have no way to find more without more fuel. Our ships lie listless in space, mostly forgotten. _What happens now? The others must be lying! They have more resources I know it. They just don't want to share with us!_ Threats are exchanged. Weapons are made ready.

Before war can break out the Savoid make their entrance. An expedition ship scouting for new worlds to colonize. _A gleaming white ship breaks the atmosphere. While our ships are angular and sleek, this one is two spherical orbs connected by a short bridge in between. Large engines extend out of the back sphere. No weapons are visible. Could they be that naive? Once it hits the ground legs extend from the spheres. A door appears and a ramp lowers. The Savoid make their entrance._

The savoid are an insect race. 90% of it is male. Both sexes are green, have six legs connected to their thorax, two antennas on the top of their heads, large black eyes, mandibles around small mouths, no visible nose. Females have two arms with 3 fingers at the end. Very rarely do they move from the homes. Their primary purpose is as leaders, queens and mothers. The males only have one hand. The other is a natural blade like object made of bone.

The savoid have recently ended a war with the only other race they know of. The ferui. A race that lives both on land and in the sea. To avoid mutual destruction a tentative peace has been reached. Now the races are exploring the galaxy for worlds to replace the ones they have lost. The savoid want to help. They state that the ferui will want that as well.

Discussions are had. _Should we allow there help? No we should take what we need! We are too few._ So the protheans did something their race has never done before. They kneeled and accepted help. The rebellion against this action was quickly put down. Out of sight of the savoid and furi. _We will die porthean! Unlike you weaklings who accept help from lesser races. May you burn for eternity for what you have done to us._

Ships are given, Technology is exchanged. The protheans smile and state that they are grateful. Eezo is found. Ships are repaired. Relays are slowly built. The other races marvel at the technology. To be able to travel such distances in such a small amount of time! Now we can truly expand. _Patience my brothers and sisters. We must wait. Spread our influence through all levels of their government. Our numbers must rival their own before we make our move. We will take our rightful place._

Over the next ten generations we spread throughout the galaxy. Two more races are discovered. We make sure to take the lead with first contact. Make sure that they know who to depend on. Who makes their lives better. Easier. We spread discord throughout the savoid and furi. _You cannot trust those bugs. They are taking the better planets! The furi laugh at you behind your back. They are building machines of war!_

Soon war breaks out again. Their planets are devastated, billions are dead. We expose the actions of their leaders. _They wanted this war to get rid of their rivals! To take what was theirs! You cannot trust them. Let us help you._

Thus the empire is reborn. We guide and control the other races. _But what now? How do we avoid the mistakes of the past?_ The senate is built. A place for the races to come together. Our language becomes the primary language due to our greater numbers. We create rules that the others must abide by. One race objects. We exterminate them to prove a point. This is the way forward. _If you resist you die. It is that simple._ The others don't mind. We did save them after all.

On your worlds you may keep your language, your way of life. _As long as it does not contradict with ours that is._ Your army may fight as it pleases. _As long as it fights well, kills the enemy and does not affect military cohesion._ But in galactic space you follow our rules, our language. Keep your ways to yourself.

A Queen or King is elected to be the figurehead of the empire. They have no real power. Everything is dictated by the senate. Our numbers always outnumber the others in the senate. We cannot been seen to be overruled by the lesser races.

Thousands of years pass. The galaxy is explored. The races we find join us or die. Any that are experimenting with AI are exterminated right away. No contact is made. _Organics will never fall to artificial life again._

 _What now?_ The empire asks. _Maybe, maybe it is time to consider expanding to our original galaxy._ But how? Plans are created. _Maybe we can use the concept of relays as a pathway between the galaxies? Turn a journey that took us centuries into months?_

It takes 100 years to send out, create and then link a relay and then send out ships for the next relay. Until finally only one is left. The relay that will sit in the Milky Way galaxy. By the times the ships arrive after their 20 year journey the reapers should be cleansing the galaxy of all space faring life.

But that isn't what is found. When probes are sent out they find startling news. _They defeated the reapers! But how? Look at them. They are nowhere near as advanced as we were._ Instead of building the relay we investigated further. _The crucible was used? But why weren't the reapers destroyed? Why are they helping the quarians and geth?_

Then we received the most amazing information. _A prothean brother is here? Living among them? How can this be?_ We find him. We leave small clues that only he would notice. He finds us. We ask for his help.

 _He refuses. He sneers at us. Weaklings and deserters. You are not prothean! You ran away! You did not fight!_ He wants to inform the races of this galaxy of our presence. For some reason he thinks we will let him. That somehow he is above us. _He tells us we do not deserve to return. They are the rightful rulers._ How dare he think like that? We kill him. _A lot easier than we expected. Looks like life here made him weak._ His throat is slit and he is returned to his home for his so-called friends to find.

Ships are slowly sent from Andromeda. To help build our presence. To make it easier for us to act here.

So once again we spread our reach throughout the galaxy. Easily avoiding the eyes and ears of the shadow broker. We help in the creation of the prophets of Shepard. We communicate with its leader. Tell her to act as we command. To conquer in our name. To be ready for our arrival.

Love weakens her resolve. But still we guide. We create the splinter group. The Prophet's Judgement. Through what remains of our technology we spread whispers of our existence to the true believers. We make contact with an asari commando named Shiala. She readily serves us. She wishes to fulfil her mentor's dream. She tells us who the shadow broker is. She makes it easier for us, she tells us how to evade Liara T'Soni's reach more efficiently than we currently were.

We try to clone the hero of the reaper war. The Shepard. If she was alive she would wield an incredible amount of influence with all of the races. But the clones fail to live up to the legend. They can never pass for the original in the eyes of T'Soni and her children.

Just like the Council we search for the reapers. _Where are they hiding?_ To no avail until we find Harbinger.

I remove my consciousness from the memories. I don't need to see anymore. We have been through so much to get to this point. _We will not fail again._


	19. Chapter 18: Between 1-2

**Authro's Note: Thanks for the favs! Over 50 now!**

 _Jane Shepard: Mindoir_

"My next memory is of lying in a hospital bed in the Citadel. This was the third time in my life so far I had woken up like that. This was starting to become a habit. Disorientated, confused and wondering what on earth had happened after I passed out."

I stare off into space, eyes glazing over at the memory. Dopy smile spreading across my face. "There was a big difference this time though. As I glanced around at my surroundings I found one very sleepy asari half-collapsed on my bed. Her head on my stomach and her hand placed on top of mine. Well the hand of mine that was not in-cased in some contraption that was fixing the damage Saren's head had inflicted."

"Through the window in the door I could see what I would've guessed was Wrex's back blocking off anyone being able to peer through. God bless krogan and their regenerative capabilities. At least we shouldn't have been disturbed."

"Making sure to move as little as possible as I slowly, carefully extracted my good hand from beneath Liara's. I then started lovingly stroking the side of her head. Making sure not to touch her head tentacles."

"After a couple of minutes of my ministrations Liara started to stir. Mumbling to herself she wiped the sleep from her eyes and then looked at me and smiled. It took a second for the realisation of my being awake to set in before she gasped, hands flying to her face, tears forming in her eyes as something between a sob and a laugh escaped her. As she reached out to touch my face she said with a voice thick with emotion. _Oh Sh-_ "

My brilliant retelling of our reunion is interrupted yet again by Liara. Sounding at times exasperated and happy. _Please Jenny. You must stop describing me like some innocent maiden experiencing love for the first time. I have a reputation now as a no-nonsense, straight talking, don't mess with me information broker/ambassador. They won't take me seriously if you continue like this!_

Greatly amused with myself I deadpan back. _But you were a maiden experiencing love for the first time._

Liara doesn't sound amused. _Very amusing Shepard._ Uh-oh. Shepard? I'm in trouble now. _I'm being deadly serious._

Which is now causing me to become annoyed. _You were younger Liara! It was an emotional time! You're allowed to behave like us mere mortals!_

Before the argument can get any further a loud fake coughing noise from Couthard brings me back to her. Quite professionally she smiles at me (which doesn't reach her eyes) and says in a conspiratory whisper. "Care to invite the rest of us in on the conversation with your bondmate Shepard?"

Flustered now I look between her and Liara a number of times trying not to blush. Deciding it was best to apologise I shrink a little and scratch the back of my head. "Sorry about that. Liara was having...issues with what I was saying about her."

For the first time in the interview Couthard turns away from me and addresses Liara. She sounds slightly annoyed but manages to cover it well. "Dr T'Soni. You gave me your word that you would not interfere in this interview. That all of this would be Shepard speaking from the heart, letting everyone know what she thought and why she did what she did."

"This cannot happen while you keep interrupting her. Please refrain from bond-talking or I will have to ask you to leave." I can't see Couthard's face but from the look on Liara's I think she is not making an idle threat.

Knowing my brain can't leave things well enough alone I catch Liara's eye and say through our link full of mirth and trying not to laugh. _Ha ha. You're in trouble!_

If only looks could kill. I'd be dead from the cold hard stare Liara is giving me. So I close my eyes and poke my tongue out at her.

Deciding not to add any more fuel to the fire that is LIara, I wait for Couthard to turn back to me and then pick up where I left off.

"Once I was fully awake and aware Liara told me that I had been out of it for a couple of days and that Wires was dead. Destroyed by the Alliance and that the Council was overseeing the rebuilding of the Citadel."

"After hugging Liara to myself tightly and rubbing her back I asked her if she was okay, how Wrex was really doing and how the rest of the Normandy was doing."

"She informed me after pushing herself off of me, probably so that I didn't injure myself that she and everyone else was fine. What injuries they had were recovering. Wrex was lucky. The beam didn't rupture anything vital and as soon as he could stand he insisted that he stand guard outside."

I breathe deeply in and then out. The smile fading from my face as I become serious again. "Then I asked Liara about the losses the Alliance suffered. She tells me about the frigates that were destroyed defending the Destiny Ascension. That wouldn't register in my heart until later when I was on my own. To keep Liara from worrying I just nodded my head and made a mental note to find the personal records of the frigates so that I could add their names to the list of people that I had failed."

Couthard. "Do their deaths still affect you?"

I think hard on my response before answering. "Yes and no. Yes I still grieve from their loss but they were soldiers. They understood the score."

"Did you expect the backlash you got from some quarters of humanity?"

I tilt my head and start tapping my index finger against my chin. I smile sadly and then laugh bitterly. "Of course. Being the first human Spectre I expected it. What I didn't expect was the hate I got for saving alien lives, the Council. Like human lives were worth more." I let anger colour my voice as I stop tapping my chin. "News flash bigots. We're all equal. I nearly lost it a couple of times at people who made remarks about that and my crew."

Couthard. "Playing devil's advocate here you have downplayed your connections to humanity and you were always surrounding yourself with aliens. Can you not see why you had some people worried?"

I start tilting my head from side to side, while different arguments played out in my head. "Humanity's problem is that we have never played well with others. I was humanity's first Spectre. For humanity to make any more forward progress I had to show that we could work with other aliens. That we had each other's back."

"People seemed to think that I would always choose aliens over my fellow humans. That was never the case. If one of the other races moved against humanity without just cause I would of been there defending Earth with all of my might."

"What made me mad were the xenophobes who though that just because I had alien teammates I was betraying my race. To me it was the opposite. Plus there were plenty of innocents on the Ascension. Evacuated from the Citadel. It was our duty to protect them." I emphasize the last sentence.

Couthard nods. She seems to accept my response. "Soon afterwards you met with the Council."

 _Stupid fucking Council._ Thinking of this conversation always makes my blood boil. Controlling my voice so I don't seem too anti-Council. "As there wasn't enough room for both Liara and the council members she gave me a quick peck on the cheek and held the door open while the Council, plus Udina and Anderson walked in. I wasn't expecting the last two. With all of them standing around the bed and me being stuck in it I ended up feeling quite claustrophobic."

Couthard "Did you think that they would believe you now?"

I start tapping my foot against the floor in an irregular rhythm. Trying to keep my voice neutral and succeeding somewhat. "Of course I did! Wires was unlike anything we had ever seen before, plus he was looked exactly like I described the reapers to look like."

"But no, it was much, _much_ easier to say Wires was some sort of Geth super dreadnought. I mean why look into it any further than that? Why even give it a second thought? We don't need to look at every possibility/outcome. We'll just ignore the fact that Saren's actions since this all started fly in the face of everything that he stood for. He wanted to protect the galaxy. How does killing the Council and taking control of the Citadel accomplish that?" I've lost the neutrality of my voice now. Biting sarcasm becoming more evident with every word. I've also started waving my arms around with every point.

Couthard crosses her legs and leans her elbows on her knees. Confidently. "But Shepard, can you understand why they said that to themselves and the galaxy?"

My hands fall to my lap as I lock eyes with her. "Of course I understand why they told the galaxy at large that. No one myself included wanted to see the galaxy panicking, rioting and causing untold destruction through fear of what was coming. But they told 'everybody' this. They could have warned the heads of the various races what really happened that day. They then could've prepared for the reapers. As it stood only my crew, Anderson and Hackett took me seriously." I look away from her. "So many lives could have been saved."

Couthard presses me. "But I can see why they might of thought that the Geth were the more logical explanation."

I press her back. "Even so. They. Did. Nothing! The Geth could've had more ships like Wires. Why not prepare? More ships, better defences, greater unity. None of that happened! Instead they just sent out a few ships to look into reports of 'Geth activity'." My chest is heaving. I hadn't realised that I had started shouting and that I have stood up. _Man I didn't think that this was still affecting me so much._

With her eyes Couthard signals for me to sit back down. Which I do. Begrudgingly. _You can't ask me questions about this and not expect me to get passionate about it._ "Okay Shepard. I think we have covered that point. What else did they have to say?"

I lean back into my chair trying to regain my composure. I try a breathing technique Samara taught me to let go of my anger. It works. "They thanked me for saving their lives. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying that the civilians on the Ascension were the ones that I actively choose to save. Saving them was just a by-product of that decision."

"They informed me that I would be receiving honours from each of their races." A slight pause as I think about those medals. _With everything that has happened I wonder if I still have them somewhere?_ I get rid of the thought. Focus on the here and now Shepard!

"They then took a dramatic pause. Tevos had a small smile on her face with her hands clasped behind her back. I found it quite strange seeing her diplomatic facade slipping. Spartacus looked extremely tense as his eyes kept moving between us all. Valern was blinking rapidly while his fingers were tapping against his hand. I couldn't help but wonder what on earth was about to happen. They were all acting so out of character. What could they possibly want now?"

"I tried catching Anderson's eye to try and see if he knew what was going on, but he was looking straight over my head. He did not look relaxed. He was standing to attention, face set and ready for action. He wasn't going to give me anything. So against my better judgement I looked over to Udina. I regretted my action straight away. He could barely stand still. He was moving slowly from the balls of his feet to his toes. Nodding along and agreeing to whatever the Council members were saying. Big smug smile on his face even with the black eye that I assumed came from Anderson. Warning bells had started going off in my head. Whatever was coming I was not going to like it."

"So I braced myself for the bomb to hit." In the poshest voice that I can manage. Arms waving out to the audience around me. "Due to its actions in the battle for the Citadel Humanity has been granted a seat on the Council."

"I slammed my hand against my mouth to stop myself from saying something along the lines of _No fucking way!_ Udina takes the silence that follows that statement to start thanking the Council and that he will 'graciously' take Humanities seat."

"Before he could continue or I could start throwing stuff at him. Spartacus interrupts his prepared speech. Apparently they get a say on who the council member will be and they wanted to know my opinion."

I smile as I remember what happened. "I sat up straighter, tapping my fingers against the bed as I ummed and ahhhed over my decision. I should say that it was a hard decision. That both of them had their merits. Udina was a politician, he knew how to play the game. He would also throw me under a bus at the first sign of trouble. He had made that abundantly clear in our dealings. Anderson had always believed in me and had my back. He could learn the rest. So as I said. No competition."

"I looked everyone over before plastering on the biggest grin I could muster as I nodded my head and said to the Council as seriously as I could without bursting into giggles at the reactions that I was expecting. _Anderson. No other option._ "

"That got the reaction I wanted. Udina's face dropped, his mouth forming a perfect O. Until he started stuttering about this not being my decision. He gave me such an affronted look." I laugh. "His eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows were down. I just winked back at him. No one else noticed. Everything that bastard put me through was worth it just to deny him in that moment."

"Anderson's shoulders slumped, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. No doubt he wished they had never asked me."

"Before Udina could say anything more the Council thanked me for my input and left. Anderson gave me a look that I interpreted as me owning him big time."

I chuckle some more. Couthard clears her throat. She looks very serious. "Udina was the more obvious choice was he not? Surely he would've served humanity better?"

I look to Liara to see if she is joking with me or not. Liara averts her eyes from me. _Guess I am not forgiven yet._ So I sigh and turn back to Couthard. "Udina was a snake. He would serve his own ambitions, not what was best for humanity. Anderson wouldn't do that. He would help prepare us for the reapers."

"Some say humanity could have flourished more with Udina on the Council."

I try not to roll my eyes. "I can see that reasoning. He was good at his job. But everything I did was a balancing act. Pros and cons. Considering what happened when Cerberus attacked the Citadel I made the right choice."

I shrug. "Not sure what else I can say about my recommendation. 3 days later I had a long conversation with Anderson over the Council seat. It took some convincing, which mainly consisted of me repeating my warnings about the reapers and begging him to do it as a personal favour to me."

"The award ceremonies took place a week after the attack. The whole crew were there. The last time all of us would be gathered like that for a while as Wrex and Tali were leaving. Kinda felt like the end of an era. That this might end up being my crowning achievement if the reapers didn't show up."

Couthard asks me confused. "I always thought you were 100% sure that the reapers were coming?"

I raise my hand putting my thumb and forefinger together leaving only a couple of millimetres between them. "I had this much doubt. But if I ever expressed it at all. All of my credibility would've gone up in smoke. There were moments when I thought I was going insane or that this was all some kind of sick joke played on me by the protheans. Liara was the only person who knew that."

"I'm surprised you felt like that."

"I'm only human."

"Anyway as I was saying the ceremonies for the dead and the heroes was taken place. I stood stoically as I received my awards. It was weird looking out into the crowd, seeing the cheering faces of the aliens while only getting a muted response from humanity. But I had spent my whole life getting the cold shoulder so I was used to it."

"Once the celebrations were over I escorted Wrex and Talli to their transports. It was hard seeing them go. To finally have people that meant so much to me. Trying to keep a smile on my face while inside I wanted to cry. But I did. I launched myself on Tali and gave her a rib breaking hug. Telling her that her that her father better have appreciated all that she had done for the galaxy. Between that and the Geth data she should have completed her pilgrimage. She actually cried a little bit. The first time I had seen her do that. It was quite sweet. Seeing that I promised to come to the fleet and kick her father's arse if needed."

"For some strange reason that I still can't quantify it was even harder to say goodbye to Wrex. Maybe it was a war buddy thing. A skilled warrior protecting my six. Knowing he wouldn't like anything else I told him he better not screw up the krogan unification otherwise we would all be dead once the reapers came. No pressure really I snarked. He slammed his fist against his hand and said the pyjaks wouldn't know what hit them. I didn't offer him any help. It wouldn't have been appreciated or wanted."

"Next it was a 2 month mandatory leave before I would be allowed back to help with the search for the Geth."

Couthard. "Did you want to go on holiday? Wouldn't it of been better to start preparing for the reapers? To try to convince others of their existence?"

I lean forward and bring my fist up. Bring up a finger with each of my points. Controlling myself. "One. I was still recovery. It would take that much time to get full use of my hand again. Two after everything that had happened I needed a break. To relax and unwind. I nearly lost it during the war due to the fact that they wanted me to do everything I could possibly do. Three everyone believed the Council. I could bleat on till I was blue in the face and no one was going to take me seriously until I found more evidence. Four the rest of my crew needed a break. Running them into the ground wouldn't have helped anyone. And five no one knew when they were actually going to come."

"Did that scare you? Not knowing when exactly they were going to come?"

"No not really. It was something I couldn't control. So I didn't want to spend time worrying apart it. I could only control the here and now."

"Where did you go?"

I glance over to Liara to make sure it is okay to say anything. She nods. I smile back. "It took me a couple of attempts to ask Liara to come away with me. I kept on losing my nerve when I was asking her and ended up talking to her about really random things like park benches. Would she want to go with me? Did she want to continue this? Could we work when we weren't chasing Saren? The questions were going around and around in my head. I kept on thinking of things that would put her off of me. She was incredibly smart and so, so gorgeous. Why did she want me anyway?" The old insecurities creep up on me. Even after all of this time. My leg starts jumping up and down. _I really thought I had put these insecurities behind me._

I don't even notice Liara until her hand is on my leg stopping it from moving. She kisses me on my forehead. She turns to the camera taking my hand in hers. She speaks confidently. "Sorry about that. Jenny has these moments when she doubts why I would want her." _I love you idiot._ She laughs through our bond.

"She had her bags packed and was about to leave without me before I could get it through her thick skull that I was going with her. I had to sit her down on her couch and explain to her point by point why I wanted her. She had such a childlike smile on her face once I finished. I then had to endure an hour lecture of how special I was."

I turn to Liara raising an eyebrow. I ask annoyance clear in my voice. "What do you mean endured? I'll have you know that was some grade A romancing you received."

A condescending nod of the head and another kiss to my forehead is all I receive in return. "After a few hours of some personal time Shepard agreed to return with me to Thessia." She stands up and then looks at the chair I am sitting in. After a quick look over she decides to shove me over so that we can share the seat. Apparently sitting on my lap would give off the wrong image.

Before I can wrap my arm around her waist she grabs my hands and holds them in her lap. This looks more professional. I think it looks slightly awkward but she's the boss. "She took me to her private residence outside the capital city. Far enough away not to be disturbed by the riff raff. A small wood behind it for game and beautiful gardens in front of it. The building or as I prefer to call it 'castle' looked like something out of a fairy tale. Tall towers, wide entrance ways and massive beds." I nudge her with my shoulder. "All a girl could ask for."

I can't look at Liara as I say this so I just play with her fingers as I talk to Couthard. "I think until the party at the Citadel that was the happiest I have ever felt. Days spend in bed or just talking to one another in one of the many, many splendid rooms that they had. The only time we didn't spend together was when I went out to try and see if I could buy an engagement ring. Luckily I found one. It had a giant diamond in the middle which the employee told me was of the highest quality. I always kept it hidden on my person waiting for the right opportunity to propose."

I bring her hands up to my lips and kiss them. I can't stop myself from getting emotional. "I'm so sorry that I didn't get a chance to give it to you. I couldn't find a moment that was magical enough or emotional enough or just plain felt right." I can see the tears she shed over for so many times glistening in her eyes. I place my forehead against hers. _That is so not happening ever again._

Couthard interrupts me before I can say anything else. "Any funny stories of your time together on Thessia?"

I'm about to say 'sorry no' but then I see the twinkle in Liara's eye. _Oh hell no you are not telling them that story! You promised we would never speak of it ever again._ Her smile grows. _No please, please don't!_ Getting desperate I promise not to do say or do anything else without her permission ever again. I start shaking my head and pulling at her hands. It just seem to egg her on.

Absolutely pleased with herself she starting speaking. "Why yes Ms Couthard I do."

I try to screw my eyes shut and block out all sound while she tells the story of my first visit to an asari/partner only beach. I have never been very comfortable with showing my body off to the general public. Loved ones or people I know, that's fine. But everyone else? No nu-uh. So I had on a black swimsuit that covered practically my whole body. Liara thought I looked stupid and wasted no time in telling me.

What I didn't realise at that point is that the asari are _very_ okay with public nudity at the beach. Every asari was buck ass naked. I had no idea where to look so I kept my eyes firmly on the ground as Liara found us somewhere to sit. I now knew why these beaches were not open to the general public. I pretty sure the other species would've just lived at these beaches if given the choice.

Once on the sand I noticed that Liara had started taking her own clothes off. Liara, the girl who couldn't speak in direct sentences when we first met. Stuttering and blushing whenever she thought she made a mistake. Was totally okay with showing everything she had off to random strangers. This did not compute in my head. So I told her general direction. I had my eyes firmly shut not to get an eyeful of some other asari that there was no way in hell that these randoms were getting to see what only I got to see in the privacy of our room.

She just laughed at me wondering how on earth this was embarrassing me. This was only natural she said. Everyone here is naked. I just look stupid in my costume. I picked up my tower trying to cover her up, still not opening my eyes. I think I must've tripped over my shoes or something but once I fell I ended up in between the legs of an asari matriarch. At the apex.

I jumped up, turning bright red spluttered out some form of apology and legged it not seeing if she accepted it or not. Not noticing that everyone else was watching. Or that Liara was a mixture of laughing uncontrollably and being utterly mortified by my behaviour. Her telling me that we can never return to that specific beach again unless I wanted to be prosecuted for lewd behaviour.

It took me the rest of the holiday for her to promise me not to regale anyone of that tale. Promises that sounded specifically like honouring and obeying her but I agreed all the same. Only for her now to regale the entire galaxy of my ultimate embarrassment.

She laughs, Couthard laughs and others laugh. I zone out and just nod my head, ignoring it all.

I stand up from my chair bringing Liara with me. I kiss her softly on the lips and ask her through our bond if she can go and sit down with our daughters again. I don't think I will be able to get through this next session with Liara right beside me. As she nods, turns and walks away I add on. _Forgive me_ in a furlong voice.

Liara doesn't turn around but she says back. _Always my love._

I sit back down, wiping my hands on my legs. I hadn't realised how sweaty my palms had become. _You can do this._ I repeat to myself.

Keep your eyes on the camera. "Too soon for my liking we were back on the Citadel. After a quick catch-up with the Council we were on our way to investigate 'Geth activity'. I took it as code for getting rid of the nuisance woman."

"Though I would've rather been on Thessia with Liara I had to admit it was good being on the Normandy again. It truly had started to feel like home. As we travelled I made my rounds of the ship. Trading insults with Joker, a quick drink with Karin, checking on Garrus and his never ending calibrations, seeing how happy Ash was with her upcoming promotion and then sneaking in a quick cuddle with Liara when no one was looking."

Couthard. "Were you surprised that they had chosen to stick around? Especially Garrus and Liara?"

I smirk to myself as I think back to their answers when I asked them if they wanted to stay. "No way in hell was Joker leaving his seat, piloting the best ship in the fleet. Karin, well she wasn't going anywhere when she could stay here and nag at me for getting hurt on a regular basis. Garrus and Ash told me that they had finally found a place where they could make a difference in the galaxy, so weren't going anywhere. That was key for both of them. Before we met they had been stuck. Wanting to help others but had their hands tied. That didn't happen with me."

"With Liara." A toothy smile in her direction. "I think I had a small amount of input on her decision to stay."

Couthard. "When did you know that something was wrong?" Wow. Cutting straight to the point.

For something to do with my hands I grip the arms rests of my chair. "As we were scanning the planet, I had returned to my cabin to catch up on some paperwork. I detested it. I sat there pleading for something to happen to take me away from it. When the entire ship shook and I was thrown from my chair, slamming hard into the wall with my shoulder painfully. I took my wish back."

"It was clear to me just from that blast that we were in deep shit. How on earth did they know we were here? Who the fuck had the capacity to attack a cloaked ship? I put on my hard suit on and contacted the bridge."

"I had to control my breathing and keep my heart rate from spiking as Pressly relayed the situation to me. A massive unknown ship had attacked us without warning crippling the engines. We had some manoeuvrability but not enough to escape. We were sitting ducks."

"Counterattacks had been ineffective. Our only choice was to abandon ship, sending out a distress call hoping that someone would reach us in time. This time I had managed to keep my footing by holding onto a handrail."

"As quickly as I could I signalled for all hands to abandon ship. There was no other choice I could make. I hoped that the destruction of the Normandy would be enough to distract the enemy from the escape pods."

"As the crew, more calmly than I had expected made their way to the escape pods. I made my way to medical. I had to make sure that Liara got into a pod. Once I knew she was safe I could concentrate on the others."

"Just as I had walked in, Liara appeared from her quarters. Pale and shaken. Her arms quickly wrapped themselves around me praising the goddess that I was safe. More roughly than I intended I pulled her away and practically dragged her to the nearest pod."

"Only when I didn't enter the pod with her did she stop buckling herself in. Eyes wide, voice shaking with fear she started to unbuckle herself, louder than I had ever heard her before she demanded that I got into this pod and strap myself in."

"Knowing that I couldn't leave without saying anything I placed my hands on either side of her face. I gave her a quick, passionate kiss. Placing all of my emotions into it. Hoping she could pick up on what I was unable to say in that moment. 'I love you more than anything in this universe.' Then I told her that I couldn't leave. Not yet. My duty was to make sure everyone else got off first. The last pod to leave would be the one that was situated on the bridge. I would be inside it. I promised her. Fighting off hands that were clinging onto me for dear life I walked out. Catching one last glimpse of her beautiful face as I told her that I would see her soon. I then released the pod."

"As soon as the pod was gone from the Normandy I allowed myself a moment to half-collapse against the door. Taking in huge mouthfuls of air to compensate for the fact that I had been holding my breath as I spoke to Liara. She was as safe as I could make her at that moment. The pressure on my chest relaxing somewhat."

"Before I made my ascend to the bridge I requested an update from Pressly on the evacuation. Only the bridge crew were left. Joker was flat out refusing to leave his station. I slammed my fist against the wall. That stupid, fucking idiot. The ship was lost. Didn't he get that? All he was doing was going down with the ship. As I was about to order Pressly to manhandle him into the pod another blast rocked the ship. Once the shaking had stopped I tried to raise Pressly again. There was no response. I had to get to the bridge. Fearing the worst I double checked the seals on my helmet."

"Next I forced the elevator doors opens, climbed the ladder and forced the bridge elevator doors open only to find the blackness of space awaiting me. Apart from a small section around Joker and the escape pod the entire bridge was gone, gouged out by the unknown ship. Most of the equipment and crew had been blown out into space through the massive hole in the hull."

"I didn't know whether to consider them lucky or not but a couple of people, Pressly included were strapped in their seats. Bodies flash frozen, forever trapped trying to save the Normandy. I hoped they didn't suffer. That their deaths were quick and painless. They all deserved better."

"Activating the magnetic locks on my boots I made my way, so very, very slowly across what was left of the bridge to Joker. A walk that normally took seconds felt more like hours that day. Praying that nothing hit the ship so that I wasn't thrown off into space. I counted my breaths as I walked to try and conserve my Oxygen. Trying not to throw up after looking at Pressly's bloated face. The only way through this was forward. I vowed to make the people responsible for this pay for the lives they took. No matter how long it took for me to track them down. Making sure that my foot was attached to the floor before moving the other."

"After what felt like an eternity I passed through the atmosphere barrier to Joker. He was too focused on what he was doing to even notice me. Hands flying across his console muttering to himself."

"Once the mag locks on my boots had been disabled I grabbed Joker by the back of his uniform and dragged him away from his console. He tried to fight me. Screaming that he could save her, the Normandy. Honestly I ignored him, he was wasting us time. We needed to get in the last escape pod before the Normandy broke apart."

"Not caring if I broke some of his bones I shoved him into the pod and yelled at him to buckle himself in. I told him that our lives were more important than this fuckin ship."

I close my eyes as the memory replays itself in my head. _Keep breathing Shepard._ "That's when we were hit again. My body slammed into the computer banks by Joker's console. The cracking sound as the ship broke in half was so quiet at first, I barely noticed it over the wailing of the alarms. As I moved back to the pod it got louder and louder, the alarms stopped. I had one simple choice. Pull the manual release, saving Joker or get us both killed trying to get in myself." I nod my head. "No choice at all."

"Once I pulled the release Joker was calling for me desperately, telling me to get in. As the hatch closed an explosion ripped me from the ship, ejecting me into space, damaging my Oxygen supply. A couple of minutes later I was dead."

 _Please don't ask for details. Please don't ask for details._ Couthard looks at her omni-tool sliding her hand down scrolling through something I cannot see. She speaks to herself quietly and then looks up at me, closing her omni-tool. "What did it feel like?"

 _I should've known she was going to ask that._ I drag my hand through my hair as I think on how to best approach the topic. Letting my fear show I answer her. "Nothing can truly prepare you for it. What's worse, at least in my opinion was that I knew I was dying, that my Oxygen was running out. I should say that I was calm and accepted my fate. I was anything but that. Desperately I looked around for anything that I could use to fix the leak. I couldn't die like this. Not before the reapers came. Not before I proposed to Liara. Not when I had so much I still wanted to do. I screamed again and again until I started to feel sleepy. Cursing any god that might've been listening."

"I broke my promise to Liara. I stopped fighting at the end. I stared at the stars wondering where they all lead as I started to feel warm instead of cold." Voice breaking as I turn to Liara. "My last thoughts were of you." I look above her head. Not trusting myself with her eyes. I wipe my tears away with my sleeve.

Couthard leans forward, hesitantly she asks a question nearly everybody I have ever known has asked. "Do you remember anything after you died? Before waking up at the Lazarus Project?"

I let my emotions settle as I let out a long suffering sigh. "No I don't, I was dead." I stand up and pace hoping people can still see me. "Do I think there is an afterlife? I like to think there is. I don't believe in any particular god or goddess though." A small smile. "I like to think of it as a bar. That the others are waiting for us to join them there."

I stand in front of my chair, arms behind my back looking down the camera lens again. "If there is an afterlife I don't think I would be allowed any memory of it. People would act differently if they knew for a fact that something was waiting for them on the other side. It would narrow your choices which to me would be wrong. Live life your way. Do that and do whats right and I believe you will be rewarded."

I sit back down again. "At least that is what I try to do."

"For me at least my memories go from watching the stars go black to waking up in an unknown place with an Australian woman yelling at me to wake up."

 _I know people want other answers but I can only speak the truth. You had better have gotten me my drink up there Garrus._

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 **Next Chapter will be about Jenny and Benezia's childhood.**


	20. Chapter 19: Days Gone By

**Author's Note: Sorry its taken a while to post this. My anxiety gets the better of me at times. Hoepfuly you like this. Please R and R.**

 _Spectre Jenny T'Soni: Mindoir_

 _Will people be hanging onto my every word like they do to my father one day?_ I look around, mother and Benny are listening intently. Benny's hands are grasping tightly at her dress by her knees. _It looks like she is gonna end up falling off of her chair if she moves forward any further._

Not that I can blame her. This is all we have wanted since we truly realised who our father was all those years ago. To hear her story, without any filters. If mother didn't look so upset as Dad describes dying for the first time I would be so angry with her.

She knew all of this! Why couldn't she have just shown us this! Our entire lives we have just wanted to know our father like this. _I'm a goddam Spectre. I think I can handle it._ I can't help but think to myself sarcastically.

Benny wouldn't be with the Prophets and we would all be so much closer. I vow to myself that won't be us anymore. Now that Dad is here we are finally going to be a proper family. _Now how to accomplish that?_

As Dad asks for another break before moving on to talk about the collectors it hits me. _A meal._ Just the four of us. I can't remember the last time me, Benny and mum did something like that together. Sure I'm not that great of a cook but I'm sure I can rustle something up. _They must have recipe books here right?_

Maybe then me and Benny can share some memories of our childhood with Dad. I know I've already done that a bit but I left out any memories that I share with Benny. It just didn't feel right talking about them without her being there.

Commander Shepard. _My father._ Stands before me. Is it wrong how weird that feels at times? The person that I have always wanted to impress standing right before me.

At times she seems so different from what mother showed us and from what the history books describe her as. They always say that she was a very serious, tough individual who always put justice for others first. _I really didn't expect her to be so emotional. Not that I mind. Real Dad trumps imaginary Dad any day._

As she opens her arms for another family hug, she smiles at us. _I love how her just being here has healed some of the distance between me, my sister and my mother._ I take her right hand side, while Benny takes the left and mother hugs us all from behind.

I know I shouldn't be acting this soppy in front of others. I am a Spectre after all. But seeing how happy Benny is right now makes it all worthwhile.

I can't help but let my mind wonder. To all of the times in our past. Of all of the things Dad missed. Both good and bad. Of the times we needed her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _The Citadel: Ten-year anniversary of the Reaper War_

I try and drag mummy back to mine and Benny's room. _Why do I have to go?_ I cry at her almost in tears. "Please, please don't make me go! I want to stay here and finish my game!"

Mummy lets go of mine and Benny's hands and kneels in front of me. She doesn't smile at me as she sighs. Then tells me in her 'do as I say' voice. "Jenny. You need to behave. Like your sister is doing." I look over to Benny. She is wriggling her finger at me as she does her best impression of mummy when she's telling people off. She mouths 'ha-ha' at me then spokes her tongue out at me. _I'll get you later traitor._

Mummy taps me on my shoulder. She is getting angrier now. "Are you listening to me young lady?" I jump a little in surprise and then quickly nod my head a couple of times.

Mummy places her hands on her hips. I grip at my dress tightly. _Mummy is getting madder._ "Then what did I say then?" She asks as the markings above her right eye goes up.

The traitor is hiding behind Mummy so she won't be any help. _Think. Think. Think. What does she always say at these boring things?_ I mumble my response. "Be good. Answer any questions I am asked. Sit nicely. Don't mess around with Benny." _It's gotta be something like that right?_

Mummy makes a funny noise as she stands up and then nods at me. _Yay I got away with it!_ She smiles at us as she takes our hands again and continues to lead us to the door.

By the door she picks up Daddies picture. _Why does she always look sad when she kiss it?_ After hugging it briefly she passes it over to me. "Say goodbye to your father." I squeal in surprise, normally she gives it to Benny first if I'm naughty. So Benny stamps her feet. Getting worked up she starts crying. "Me first! I've been good!" Sulkily. "Not like _her._ "

She tries to grab the picture from me but I don't let her as I pull back on it really, really hard. I smirk at her. She can't take it from me cause I'm stronger. "Mummy gave it to me!"

We both jump when the doorbell goes and we drop the picture. I push Benny away from it. "That was your fault!" She pushes me back. "Nuh-uh it was yours!"

Grandpa interrupts us before we can get any further in our fight. I look at her confused. She looks, like posh or something. She never dresses like that. "You kiddos ready to go? Or do you have to terrorise your mother more?"

Mummy sighs again at grandpa as we giggle at her and try our best to crush her with our hugs. She looks down at us. "Can still breathe easily. You're all gonna have to get a lot stronger."

Before we can try again mummy tells us it is time to go so we both have to take her hand and leave without saying goodbye to daddy.

As the skycar passes our destination I press my face up against the glass. A big grin appears on my face as I look out at all the people crowding around the covered construction site where the mem-mero- the remembering thingy will be. "Look at all the people." I shriek.

Benny tries to see from her seat next to me but I block her view as we land.

Mummy and grandpa walk us to the stage and we sit on our seats next to the Council members. _They are always so grumpy. Mummy always tells me off when I try and to cheer up them up with my brilliant jokes._

As all the boring people say boring things about reapers, rebuilding and honouring. I look around for something more interesting to look at. I shift my position from side to side on my chair swinging my legs under my chair. _I can't believe that Mummy wouldn't let me bring a game with me._

Benny is being a suck up as usual as Mummy goes to say what she has to say. Sitting there perfectly still listening to what is being said. _She's just playing grown up again._

To try and get some laughs I try pulling funny faces at the crowd. _Tongue out, pulling at my cheeks, even lots of blinking. Nothing works._ They are too busy listening to Mummy. So I sulk some more in my chair and think up stories in my head as Mummy signals for the remember thingy to be uncovered.

 _Benny thinks it statues, so I think it isn't cause there's no way they would do what she thinks. I think it will be something way more interesting. Like a game! Where you blow up reapers._

When I notice that it is statues underneath the cover I make sure that I can't see Benny. _She's going to go on about this forever._ I'm really mad now. I cross my arms, put on my best I can't hear you face and stare at the floor, ignoring Benny as she keeps whispering my name. She starts off saying it really sweetly but gets more annoyed until grandpa has to tell her to be quiet.

Only when Mummy goes to pick us up do I actually look at the statues. I point at mummies one. "Look Mummy! That one is you." _Wait why does Mummy have a statue?_ I squint my eyes to have a closer look at it but Benny starts pulling at mommies dress.

She sounds as confused as me as she points to the statue in the centre. "Mummy. Why does that statue that looks like Daddy say 'Commander Shepard' under it?"

I ran over to it before grandpa can stop me and stare up at the face of the statue and then read the label thing. "You're stupid Benny. Daddy isn't Commander Shepard. Daddy is...Daddy. So there!" I'm right and now she can't be so happy over the statues!

Mummy takes mine and Benny's hand and takes us to the front of the statue. She kneels down before us so that she can look us in the eyes. Mummy sounds upset and looks like she is about to cry. "I'm sorry I've never told you girls this. Your Daddy looks like Commander Shepard because your Daddy is Commander Shepard."

With the back of her fingers she strokes our faces. "When you are older I will tell you everything there is to know about her." _But I want to know now._

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 _The Citadel: Thirty Years after the Reaper War_

I creep over to the door of our bedroom and risk glancing out, trying to see if Mum has come home yet. Doesn't look like she is around, plus it looks like Diana has gone to bed. I turn back to Benny. She looks kind of adorable sat there clutching at her bed sheet with wide hopeful eyes.

I put her out of her misery with a thumbs up, signally we are good to go.

She smiles at me. The one she has been practising that is meant to be the same as the one that the actress playing our Dad uses in the show. It's nearly there. At the moment she shows too much teeth. It makes her look slightly manic. She pats the side of her bed while I ready the final episode of season 1 of Commander Shepard: The scourge of Saren.

As I settle myself down I can feel Benny practically vibrating in excitement next to me. Not that I am any better. The producers of the show have said that they have interviewed everybody that knows anything about Dad so that the show follows what actually happened.

Tonight Dad is gonna beat the living crap out of Saren. We can't wait. We have never been able to see footage of our Dad fighting someone one-on-one. The few times we have seen Mum. (Whenever she isn't too busy searching for Feron's killers.) She refuses to show or tell us anything but the most basic details about Dad becoming a Spectre and the war. She even went so far as to ban anyone from talking about her to us.

But by sneakily watching the holovid show we can finally see the truth. I don't know what Mum worries about. Dad is totally awesome! No matter what they throw at her she deals with it. Cerberus, husks, Geth even Thresher Maws. Always in total control and super cool. She takes it all in her stride. Even the stupid Council. She always let them talk even if it is rubbish!

I could do without seeing the actresses playing our parents making out. ALL THE TIME. Benny agrees with me that there is way, way too much of it. Mum on Remembrance Day goes on about how nice Kaidan was but on the show it seems like he was a total jerk. Always interrupting Mum and Dad when they are getting romantic and trying it on with Dad. I would've left him behind on Virmie too. It has nothing to do with Ashley's actress being good...good looking. No matter what Benny says.

I mean I don't see why Mum makes such a big deal out of everything that happened. So far it doesn't seem that bad. Sure there are lots and lots of enemies that they have to beat up but they always come through it in one piece.

Anyway we sit on tenterhooks as we watch my Dad, Mum and Wrex make their way through the Citadel, blowing up Geth. When we see Dad totally zing Saren Benny lets out a whoop of joy. I cover her mouth and shh her. She rolls her eyes at. "No one can hear us Jenny."

The cold angry voice of our mother tells us otherwise. "What do you think you are doing?"

I gulp. Loudly. I close down the programme. (Making sure to pause it so that we can continue watching it later on.) I share a slightly scared look with Benny as we both slowly turn around to face our mother. Her arms are crossed and she's tapping her left foot against the floor. The thing that lets me know we are truly in trouble is her eyes. With us they are usually filled with love and happiness. Now I just see fury.

"How many times have I told you about these shows? You are not to watch them. Period. When you are ready I will show and tell you everything you want to know and your father."

Before Benny can retort (she really wants to know about our father. The more mum stops us, the more she digs.) Her jaw is clenched and I can see small wisps of biotic energy around her hands as she screws her eyes shut in frustration. I jump up off the bed and try and grab my mother's hand. Trying not to sound too desperate. "We're sorry mother." I try and look up at her eyes, gulping again. "But we are ready to learn more. Please. We can take it."

She rips her hand from mine like it is on fire as she looks between us. "Your behaviour tonight suggests the opposite."

I look down at my feet a mixture of shame and rage rolling around in my stomach. I know if she wasn't spending all of her time investigating Feron's death she wouldn't be like this. She would be like the mother I remember. Kind, sweet and would spend loads of time with us. Not this distant, cold and hard asari standing before me.

"Shut up." It comes out just louder than a whisper. If I didn't know Benny was behind me I would never have believed it came from her. Usually when Mum is like this she just does whatever Mum wants. Shaking she stands up. "We're not babies! We deserve to know about our father!"

Panting hard now she stares our mother in the eyes. _Wow. I didn't know she had that in her._ My eyes shift quickly from Benny to mother. Trying to decide who is going to explode first. Before the argument can escalate Diana's head appears around the door.

Maybe it's the situation or the tension in the air but I as much as I try I can't stifle my laughter. Diana's dirty blond hair is poking out in random directions, her face is covered in some kind of cream that looks like it's about to crack. She also has one of them blindfold sleep aids on her forehead. "Dr T'Soni. What's going on?" She sounds half asleep rubbing her eyes.

Deciding to direct her fury at Diana instead of us. _Which I am very thankful for._ "I pay you a lot of money to watch over my daughters Diana. I have told you repeatedly that they are not to watch or read anything about their father. If you are incapable of this I will find someone else to teach my daughters about humanity."

She pushes past Diana and storms off. When I hear the door slam I wince. "S-sorry for getting you in trouble Diana." She smiles at us and sits on the bed next to Benny giving her a hug and motioning for me to sit on her other side so she can give me one too. I struggle with that. Not sure whether to or not. In the end I relent and let her hug me.

Diana's alright. She has taught us a lot. I just find it really weird when I catch her staring at me and Benny so intently. Plus she keeps bringing up these 'prophet' people in conversations. Asking us what we think of them and their actions. I know Mum really doesn't like them. _I think it has something to do with Dad. Not that she would tell us._ She gets along a lot better with Benny than me. I sometimes find them sat together whispering conspiratorially together. _Don't know what about though. Benny won't tell me._

But for once it is nice to be comforted like this. "You girls know that your mother is struggling at the moment. This was a very silly idea."

Only by the sniffling noise coming from Benny do I realise that she has started crying. "Why? Why -Hic- won't she tell us anything about Dad?"

She hugs us tighter. "Your mother is hurting. Both from your father and from Feron's death. You need to give her time. Sneaking around to watch this show was not a good idea."

I nod as Benny hiccups again. "You girls aren't going to stop this though are you?"

We both nod. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "Okay then. If you can keep it a secret than I will tell you all about her. Obviously when your mother is not around. Maybe tomorrow instead of learning about the roman empire I can tell you about how your father single handedly stopped nearly a thousand batarian slavers from taking over Elysium."

Wow. Dad did that? When Benny tries to get Diana to tell us the story now she reiterates her point that so can only tell us these stories when mother isn't around. So we both reluctantly get into our bed. We don't sleep at all that night. We both lay in bed whispering frantically to each other trying to figure out how our Dad did it. _It probably involves lots of explosions._

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 _Jenny T'Soni Vancouver, Earth 70 years after the Reaper War_

 _Whatever she says, remember to stay cool, calm and collected. You never know, this might be part of some type of test._ Breathe in through your nose. Then out of your mouth.

Once I am sure that I am ready I knock on the door. _This is it. Time to find out whether they will finally let me into the Alliance._ They had better. I'm well on my way to becoming a huntress. _No matter how hard mother tries to downplay my success. All in the name of keeping me safe._ They've allowed members of other short-lived species like turians and even bloody batarians in. Why does the fact that I could live to be over a thousand exclude me?

Once I hear a clear "Enter" from Admiral Williams I enter the room, salute and then sit in the chair provided in front of her desk. I make sure that my back is straight, I'm looking her in the face, my legs are together _making sure to keep my foot glued to the floor so it doesn't start jumping_ and that my hands are in my lap. I am totally and utterly calm. On the outside at least.

"Sir." Thank the goddess, that didn't come out in some sort of high pitch squeak.

I try not to think of how old she is starting to look. Greying hair in a bun, wrinkles around her eyes. Skin not looking as young as it did. Though I am glad to see those brown eyes of hers look as sharp, intelligent and shining with determination as they always have. _I think they might have to drag her out of the Navy. I can't see her ever quitting._ "I know how much you want this so I will skip the waffle." I nod my head in appreciation. _My mouth is so dry. I could really do with a drink._

She stands up, I mimic her. _Should I have done that?_ A quick smirk from her tells me I'm alright. She hold out her hand. Her face lights up with a smile. "Congratulations Jenny. Welcome to the Alliance."

Proper decorum would be to say thank you, shake her hand and then ask her what my first assignment is. But that all goes out of the window. I launch myself at her _catching her by surprise_ and throwing my arms around her neck disturbing the items on her desk. Too delirious with happiness I start babbling like an idiot. "Thank you, oh thank you Auntie Ash! I won't let you down. Or the Alliance. Or my Dad. Or my fellow soldiers. Where am I going? Do I need more training? Will they accept me? Will they expect me to be like my father? Oh goddess I have to-"

As I take an urgent break from speaking to get some much needed Oxygen Ash puts her arms around me. "Calm down Jenny." She gets out after chuckling to herself. She then brings up her omni-tool and starts typing into it. "I've send you your orders."

I nod again. Then a couple of more times for extra measure. Ash laughs some more. "What about Benny?"

When the laughter stops and her smile falters, I get a sinking feeling in my gut.

Her hands go behind her back and she stands to attention. The admiral is back. "I'm sorry T'Soni. I can't divulge how Cadet T'Soni performed. You will need to ask her yourself."

Knowing I can't persuade her to change her mind I salute her and leave the room. Feeling a lot less happy than I was a few moments earlier. So I go to mine and Benny's favourite place in the base. The hall of heroes. Every influential human since the founding of the Alliance has a statue here. Whenever we have free time we sit here, beside the statue of our father and talk about our training.

Ever since we were kids and we learnt who our father truly was, our dream has been to follow in our father's footsteps. To be a hero like her. Travelling the galaxy righting wrongs. Of course now that we are older we know that being a soldier is a lot more complicated than that. The part we never say out loud is that this is the only way either of us have ever felt close to our father. If Benny hasn't gotten through it will crush her.

I know the answer to my question when I find Benny curled up in a ball hidden behind our father's statue. Crying her eyes out. I kneel down in front of her, hoping not to scare with my presence as I hug her gently. "I'm sorry Benny."

Her head pops up from her knees and she looks at me. I smile weakly at her. Her tears stop, she clenches her jaw, turns away and closes her eyes. I've never heard her so angry before. "Of course they let you in. Mommy's little favourite."

I expected the anger. Not the hate in her tone. _Plus no way in hell am I the favourite! Whenever you and mother are being civil to one another all you can talk about is sciency stuff that goes way over my head._

I should try and be understanding with her. But I can't, not after that comment. So I get defensive, shuffle backwards a couple of steps and address the space above her head. "It's not my fault _Benezia._ You're not cut out for this life. The only reason you got this far is because I've helped you every single step of the way!"

I'm tired of her attitude anyway. At least that's what I tell myself when she cries even harder.

 _It's not my fault I'm better at this than her! Grandpa always said that I take after her and dad while Benny takes after mother and grandmother Benezia._

Hating myself for making her feel worse I sit next to her and hug her tightly to myself. Thankfully she doesn't object.

Tears stopping now, hurt still clear in her voice. "It's our destiny. To follow in father's footsteps. Diana promised me that this was my calling. How we will ready the galaxy for the protheans."

I tense at the mention of Diana. We've barely spoken about her since she died 5 years ago. I do love her, I can't deny it. She looked after us when mother couldn't. She told us about our father. It's just...all the prothean / prophet stuff made me feel uneasy. They were exterminated. They're not coming back. I just want to do what is right. Not what some crazy asari matriarch preaches.

So instead of denying that statement I give a noncommittal "I know Benny."

It takes a while but eventually I calm her down. I promise to go through everything they teach me with her so that she can have an edge when she reapplies in a couple of years. (I manage to convince her that this is better than reapplying next year so she can master what I teach her.) I even manage to convince her to go back to university on Thessia. No matter how much she denies it I know she loves learning.

As we stand I watch mother approach us. _What is she thinking!?_ I seethe to myself. She promised me that she would stay away! Now Benny is gonna think she is behind this.

We stop a couple of steps away from her. This is when Benny notices her. The reaction is instantaneous. Sadness to boiling anger. She lets go of me and storms over to mother jabbing her in the chest of her finger. Quiet with more control than I expected she speaks. "It was you wasn't it? You're the reason they rejected me. Why can't you let me follow my dream? My destiny?"

She tries to hug Benny and tell her how sorry she is that she didn't pass but Benny rejects her. "You already knew didn't you? That's why you're here."

 _No please tell me she didn't._ I hide my head in my hands once mother confirms this. Telling us that she wanted to be prepared. So that she could help us no matter the decision.

I'm angry. Probably not as much as Benny is but still. _Why can't she let us live our own lives? Without constant protection and supervision?_ "Then why didn't you help me?" Benny begs.

"You only interfere when we do something you don't want us to do! You probably have enough dirt on the admiral to make her take me on by didn't. No that _power_ is better suited to making my boyfriend break up with me!"

Before mother can respond Benny storms off. Probably heading to some bar to get blind drunk. I go to follow her but mother grabs my arm desperate. "Please Jenny. I didn't interfere. Not with something so important like this."

I wonder though. If Benny had been chosen would she had interfered? Probably. Her precious Benezia belongs in the finest schools on Thessia. Unlike me. I don't look at her. "I told you not to come. But you ignored me. As normal." I sneer. "Now let me find my sister." I try to ignore the jolt to my heart when I hear my mother start crying. I'm guessing she isn't talking to me. "Oh my Jenny. I've messed up so much."

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 _Spectre Jenny T'Soni - 133 years after the Reaper War - The Citadel_

I knock confidently on the door, a mixture of excitement and dread filling me as I wait for my mother to answer.

I know how hard the last few decades have been for her. Slowly watching every connection she had to my father grow old and die. Now only her, Grunt, Dr Lawson and...I always forget her name. The Justicar. Samara! Yes that's it. _I wonder why we have never met her? Guess she is busy doing Justicar things._

Seeing her becoming more and more withdrawn from the galaxy caused me to try and rebuild some bridges with her. _Especially after grandpa's death 3 years ago._

We're slowly getting used to one another again. Little meetings here and there. Nothing too deep. _How are you doing? What are you up to?_ I haven't really forgiven her yet for being an absent mother or for meddling in our lives when it wasn't wanted. But I'm getting there.

Today she's showing me more memories about her and my father. I had hoped Benny would be here but after the disaster that was last time I'm not surprised she isn't here.

Her inability to become a soldier like Dad has affected her more than I thought possible. I know it was our dream when we were little maidens but I thought she would get over it eventually.

Before being fully introduced to the prophets of Shepard she became a reality holovid star. It was the only way she could fund her never-ending training to become a soldier like Dad. Appearing on god-awful dating shows, documentaries and entertainment shows. You name it she's done it. All trading on her being the daughter of Commander Shepard and Dr Liara T'Soni.

Not now though. Now she is a card carrying prophet. 'Spreading the word'. The last time she failed to get into the Alliance they informed her not to apply again. It broke her. Completely. Instead of becoming a drunken mess she ran, leaving everything she knew behind. Mother and I spent months trying to find her to no avail. We finally found her on Omega. Dutifully helping Asuna to spread the word of the Shepard. I begged, pleaded and even threatened Benny with violence to try and convince her to leave with me. Nothing worked. She'd just smile at me, telling me happily that she was finally at peace. So I gave her my blessing and left. _What else could I do?_ Our first session of sharing memories with mother about father was the first time I had been able to see her in months.

I wait patiently for my mother to open the door. It doesn't open. I ring again. No answer. I ignore the pounding of my heart as I use my spectre authorisation to open the door. _Mother is never late. Ever. Something must have happened to her._ As the door clicked open I ready my biotics, keeping a small orb of dark energy in my hand, cursing myself for not bringing a weapon.

I burst through the door rolling into the nearest cover I can find. As I lean over the table ready to throw a warp I freeze.

On the couch in the centre of the room, my mother and councillor Tevos are sat talking to a red haired human woman sitting on the table in front of them.

I don't feel my biotics fizzle out, I don't notice Tevos stand up and walk towards me saying something. All of my attention is fixed on the woman, on that hair. I know that shade of red. I've dreamt about it. Seen it in memories and holovids. _That's my Dad's hair._

I only drop my hand when Tevos lightly touches my arm, non-existent warp already gone. I swear she's trying to say something to me but I'm not registering it.

 _This isn't possible. It can't be her. Why not? She came back from the dead before._ As Tevos guides me. More concern than I thought possible etched into her face. _I thought the only emotion she was capable of expressing was cold indifference?_ She seems smaller too now she isn't stood on her dais.

Just before I'm able to see father's face for the first time my mother speaks. Somehow it penetrates the fog around my brain.

"NO. Keep her there." Cold, hard and angry my mother stands. I try not to shrink back. Though she looks clam I can see the truth. Her hands if you look close enough have started to shake, her eyes are closed so you cannot see the fury behind them and she seems to be standing a foot taller than she actually is. _Have I ever seen her this angry before?_

 _Have I interrupted their reunion? Does she wish to keep her to herself for some time before introducing her to me and Benny? What have I done wrong?_

Feeling tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes. _I haven't cried since Benny failed to join the Alliance for the first time._ I try to apologise but all that comes out of my throat is some sort of gurgling noise. Tevos has a death grip on my arm preventing me from moving.

This whole time my father has just stared happily at my mother. Not even noticing I'm there. The smile on her face looks all wrong. The corner of her lips are up too high, her eyes seem blank. That isn't how she smiles at mother in her memoires.

She finally notices my presence. She stands up and brings her hand up for me to shake. "Hello I'm Commander Shepard, it's nice to meet you." The muscles on her face haven't moved. It looks like that smile is plastered on her face. That she can't move it of her own accord.

"Stop this. Right now." Biotics flaring she grabs my father by the throat. I cry out in shock. I go to try and stop mother from what she is doing but Tevos has grabbed both of my arms now. I'm a spectre. I know of three different ways to get her to let me go. Instead I scream at my mother to stop. Tears falling down my cheeks. I've seen people die many times before. By my own hand. I've never looked away before. This is the exception.

I hear my mother slam my father against the wall. I hear the pistol fire multiple times. I hear Tevos whispering to me "Don't look." She repeats multiple times. So I don't. I've never watched the death scenes in the various movies / series that have been made of my father. I don't want to know how it happened. How her body looked.

So I let Tevos guide me to the couch. I don't say a word as she calls C-Sec. As the body is taken away. As Tevos leaves. As I feel my mother sit beside me and take my hand. _I can't stop the tears from flowing._

I gasp as mother takes my face in her hands. I finally open my eyes. The anger that I saw before is gone now. Only sadness remains. "You know that wasn't her. Don't you Jenny?"

I nod. I want to ask. Why? Why would someone do that? But I'm incapable of speech at the moment.

My mother finally breaks. Her arms go around my neck and she buries her head in my chest. She cries harder than I have ever seen her do before. Clinging onto me for dear life. I put my arms around her and rub her back. I mimic what she did to me when I was a child. I tell her that I love her. That everything will be okay. I can't imagine what this is doing to her. To see a mockery of the person she loved most like that.

I vow that it will never happen again. I beg her to show me how to identify if it is her and or a fake. So that she never has to go through this again. I will take on that burden. I also promise to find the people responsible for this. _And when I do I will rip their fucking throats out._


	21. Chapter 21: ME 2

**Now Complete!**

 **Note: I have decided that, as it will probably take a long time to write I won't go through ME 2 and 3 in detail like I did with the first game. So story wise it happened the same way as it did in the game. What I will do is talk about each of the characters and the major decisions that you have to make.**

 _Commander Jane Shepard: Mindoir_

 _On my resurrection_

Where do I begin? Am I the same person as I was before I died? How would I know? Was this some form of purgatory? Am I an AI? No one else seemed to think that. Garrus, Tali and Liara all said that it was me. When we melded for the first time after we made up Liara sensed my fears. She told me that I was real. That my soul was the same. A small part of me never believed it.

Before my scars healed I hated looking in the mirror. To see the orange scars glowing back at me. The one across my left cheek. The one that looked like it went right through my eye. If I didn't look in the mirror or see my reflection I could pretend that I hadn't died.

I couldn't believe it when Miranda showed me how much of my body was now cybernetic. Limbs replaced. Bones reinforced. Eyes replaced. Biotics enhanced. Organs that interfaced with machines so that they didn't fail. I'm not ashamed to say that I threw up, repeatedly as she explained what they did to me. I was faster, stronger. Anything that they could put into me to make me a better soldier they did. Regardless of how I would feel about it.

It took time to reacquaint myself with my body. Do you know how annoying it was when I started getting to places faster than I used to? Being the first to meetings, when I always liked to be the last one in the room. That was a nightmare. Learning how to manage my strength. I broke many a punching bag while trying to learn how to throw a simple punch that didn't end up with my fist through someone's face. By the way, that is an excellent way to put the fear of god into a group of enemies. Once they've seen you do that to their captain, they're usually more amenable to what you want.

Though I must admit, when I learnt what I was now capable of I became a one woman army. Able to zip around even faster when charging around the room. Before I used to use a tactical visor to get track of the others and the bad guys. Didn't need that now. My cybernetic eyes had that functionality built in. That was a big plus. I started bringing my katana with me on every mission. Reinforced muscles and bones made it a lot easier to use it when I wanted to. Though I limited my use of it to biotic enemies and husks, when normal weaponry became less useful.

As time went on I started to become...thankful for what they did to me. Wouldn't have made it through the war otherwise. Though I wouldn't recommend dying to get the upgrades.

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 _Liara_

It took a long time to get the full story out of Miranda about what Liara did for me. Working with Cerberus and defying the the Shadow Broker? All for the remote chance that they could resurrect me? Words can't convey how much that meant to me. That level of love and devotion. I knew the Illusive Man wanted to keep me away from her. He didn't want anyone else to have any influence over me. Apart from him that is.

Before we got to Illuim I spent my nights staring at her picture in my cabin. Wondering what she was up to. Could she forgive me for dying? Would she even still want me? To say I was heartbroken when we were finally reunited was an understatement. My warm, loving asari who had times would still stutter when I talked to or complimented her. Can you imagine my shock when I walked into her office to find a confident, cold and threatening asari waiting for me? I didn't though whether to be aroused or concerned.

The meeting we had confirmed my every fear. She didn't want to come with me. Too busy searching for Feron _who I wrongly assumed was her new boyfriend_ (and the Shadow Broker, I don't say that part out loud). All she could do was offer her assistance with the people I was looking for on Illuim. It didn't stop her from asking for my help in tracking down an individual called the Observer. Hurt and angry I could've refused. But I didn't. I did everything she asked, no matter how much it irked Miranda. That was a bonus really. All for the vain hope that I could rekindle the spark between us.

Once we were done I tried to make myself drunk as I poured my heart out to a Matriarch at a local bar, who I found out at a later date was Liara's father. It took a lot of alcohol from me to get her to promise to never repeat what I said to Liara. That was one of the downsides of my resurrection. It was near impossible to get drunk. I made numerous attempts though. Watching how everyone else acted while drunk, sort of made up for it.

For the galaxy at large I skip over how we were reunited as we finally tracked down and then killed the Shadow Broker. I do tell them how she broke down in tears when we rescued Feron. How she tells me through her tears that her debt is finally repaid and that she can now move forward again.

As the Liara I first met at Therum resurfaces as she asks if we can try again, I crush her body against mine. Kissing her as deeply as I can. Trying to convey how much she means to me. Trying not to shake as I can feel my own tears coming. Pressing my hand against her back while my other strokes her cheek as one of her hands disappears into my hair and the other holds my hip.

When I feel her mind press against mine I let her in. Holding nothing back from her. I let her feel the gnawing fear I had felt about my existence. My hurt at her and Ash's rejections. The suspicions of the Council and the Alliance as I work with the devil to save human colonies while they do nothing. The desperation I feel as I try and turn a group of strangers into a team who would die for one another.

Then finally I show her the feelings I have about Samara. I show how the time I have spent with her. Meditating, talking about her experiences, the life she has spent. How she never seemed to judge me or my decisions. How I found myself opening up about what happened on Mindoir and Elysium. (The only other person I have done that with is Liara.) She teaches me how better to control my biotics. How to better centre myself in battle. (I leave out the bits about how I find her physically attractive. I didn't think that would go down well.)

I hold nothing back as I show her my growing attraction to her. I show as little as possible of the night we spent together after the death of Morinth. The only time I see her emotional barriers come down and see the broken asari behind them. How we both agree the morning afterwards that it shouldn't happen again. The mission comes first.

Liara seemed to accept this. I tell her over and over again in our minds that it is her that I want. Though I care about Samara deeply, she is the other half of my soul. She says it is okay. That she believes me and she understands. (Not sure if I would if the situation was reversed.) When I return a few weeks later she asks for a tour of the new Normandy. I agree wanting to show her off. I introduce her to the crew. She makes polite small talk with the new crew members, thanks them for helping me, promising to help them in any way she can. With Garrus and Tali she hugs them and asks them how the new Normandy compares against the old one. They both agree that the new ship isn't the same without her in it.

Before we head up to my cabin for a romantic meal she asks to meet Samara, who I had at that point avoided like the plague. I mean how well can that conversation go? But I agreed, from the look in her eye I could see that it was something she needed to do. As we walk into the lounge the temperature around her felt like it had dropped a couple of degrees. I nervously introduced them to each other. Failing to sound normal. Instead my voice was shaking and the last word out of my mouth ended up as some kind of squeak.

Liara ignored my nerves as she smiles and says that it is a great honour to meet a Justicar. It didn't reach her eyes. Then when she sweetly asks me if she can speak to Samara alone my head swivels between them. My mind imagining all sorts of scenarios. When Samara agrees the only thing I can do is nod my head and walk out the door praying that nothing bad would happen.

Once outside I whispered for EDI to alert me if either of them started using their biotics. I didn't say it out loud but a small, evil part of me was quite excited at the thought of them fighting over me. Clothes conveniently ripping off etc etc. I never mentioned that out loud at the time though. Probably shouldn't have said it now either from the look Liara is giving me. Joker had the nerve to ask if I wanted him to record what was happening in the lounge. I crossed my arms, leaned all my weight on my left leg and told him in no uncertain terms that no I do not want this recorded. I could do it myself, as long as I didn't mind facing the wrath of two very annoyed biotics goddesses.

Instead I paced outside the room for what felt like hours. Trying to clamp down on my biotics as they flared up every now and then. Sending murderous looks at anyone who came near me. An hour later the doors parted, Liara bowed slightly to Samara, the room looked to be in the same condition as I had left it in. Before I could ask her if everything was alright she kissed me lightly on my cheek and took my hand leading us to the elevator. I chanced a glance back at Samara. She watched us as we left, giving me a nod of her head in acknowledgement. Looking serene and calm as always. I could never bring up the nerve to ask her what happened in that room.

After we finished our dinner we ended up talking for hours before making love to one another. I told her again how sorry I was for dying on her, how I don't think I could've found the strength to go on if our positions were reversed. I didn't try and stop the tears that fell down both of our faces. I renewed my vow to her to always fight. To come back to her. To our dream of our future with all of those little children we were going to have one day. That night I slept soundly for the first time since my resurrection. Safe in her arms.

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 _Justicar Samara_

Samara. A Justicar that has lived for centuries who has seen more in her lifetime than humanity has since it gained mass effect technology. A warrior with a very strict and convoluted code. I don't agree with a lot of what that code dictates but I understand the lure of something like that. To surrender yourself to it. To not have to worry about the weight of your decisions. Your choice has already been decided and no blame can be placed at your feet.

Her abilities helped us so many times in our fight against the Collectors. We never would've made it through the seeker swarms on the collector ship without her.

In the craziness of our fights against the collectors she was an island of calm. Something that I desperately needed and clung to when everything else in my life was such a mess. She knew that and helped me whenever I needed it. Before that point I had never spent so much time with a matriarch. I never expected to feel so...attracted to her. She was so different from Liara. I could spend hours at a time listening to her stories. Her journey to stop Morinth. How even though she was going to kill her she loved all of her daughters with all of her heart and would give anything to go back to those days before they found out what they were.

In return I told her all of my doubts and concerns. My fears over my very existence. Could I really be the same person who had died above Alchera? The loneliness after my rejections from Liara and Ashley. The people who had meant the world to me but had moved on with their lives. She listened without judgement. Helping me to work through what I was feeling and to try and see things from their point of view. Something I wouldn't have done without her. That was extremely difficult as I wallowed in self-pity.

So of course I agreed to help her when she asked for my help to track down Morinth on Omega station. Creating a persona that she would find attractive. Fighting her influence when she tried to bend me to her will. Then finally, even knowing how much it would hurt her, helping Samara kill Morinth as she asked me to pick her over her mother.

That night we had sex. I'm not going to say anything more than that. Not here with Liara sat in front of me. I needed the connection and so did she. It never happened again, we both agreed it was a one night thing.

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 _Ashley Williams_

I was so happy to see her when we were reunited on Horizon. How glad I was that she was not abducted by the Collectors for the crime of being my friend. Though clearly after a couple of exchanges with her I knew that was no longer the case.

I tried again and again to get her to believe me. That I really had died. That I was only working with Cerberus as they were the only ones doing anything to stop the Collectors, to save colonies like this one. The Alliance and the Council didn't seem to give two shits about what was happening. If I had to work with the devil to make sure people like the colonists on Horizon survived I would.

But she wouldn't believe me. After everything we saw Cerberus do while we tracked down Saren. After everything I had done to help her move past the curse of her grandfather. She seriously thought I had defected to them? Willingly? And put Liara through hell? She thought I could do that? Well I wasn't taking that lying down. Not after hearing the same crap from people who didn't know me. Who somehow knew how Commander Shepard would act without even meeting me before.

So I ended up punching her in the face. At the last moment making sure not to use my full strength. Just enough to leave a lasting impression. After that I walked away without a backwards glance. Damn her and her disapproving glare. All I have ever done is to my duty. Fuck the consequences. As long as the galaxy was safe I would shoulder whatever burdens I could.

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 _Miranda Lawson_

When we first met she was your stereotypical Ice Queen. Cold, hard, only caring about our feelings when it could affect the mission. It took a while for me to crack through that hard exterior to the lonely little girl inside. Raised to be the 'perfect' human only to be told that she had failed and a replacement child was on the way.

She could've resented her sister. Tried to take her out and prove to her father that she was worth his time. But she didn't. Instead she rescued her and gave her to another family so she could be raised as a normal child, while selling her soul to the devil to achieve it. Becoming an elite operative of Cerberus. Replacing her father with the Illusive Man and doing anything to win his approval. Even when her gut told her what she was doing was wrong. All so that she could prove her worth.

She once told me that she was a failure compared to me. With all of her enhancements she didn't think she couldn't have done what I have. She knew all about my past. How I was considered a failure. Laughing bitterly to herself, the one time I saw her drunk on our mission against the Collectors. The success who became a failure and the failure who succeeded.

Not liking where the conversation was going I got up from where I was sitting and slapped the back of her head. Not too hard mind you. Just enough to make a point. One of the few times that I saw her mask slip as she stared back at me. A mixture of hurt and confusion. I spent an hour berating her. Telling her to stop measuring herself against impossible standards. (Cause I'm too awesome for comparisons.) She should own her successes as well as her failures. Though I found her loyalty to Cerberus stupid, she was a fine XO. She kept the ship running, somehow dealt with all of the crazy people on this boat and managed to look perfect even when bleeding from gunshot wounds. Sure she needed to wear normal people clothes at times. But somehow she had wormed her way into my heart and we were friends.

I don't make friends with losers. Case closed really. Like with the others on this mission I had to show her that I would go above and beyond for her. Then she would do the same for me. So when she said her sister was in trouble, we went to Illuim and saved her. Even got her to talk to her sister. Somehow causing her to mellow out a bit. I had her back and she had mine. She even started attempting to banter with the others a bit in battle. Failed completely but I appreciated the effort. Even got her to give me a fist bump after returning from the Omega Relay. Sure she went bright red as her explodey noise frizzled out. Jack never let her live that down. Repeating the noise whenever she saw her.

I just want everybody to know here and now that I called her and Jack back then. Knew all that arguing and name calling was because they had the emotional maturity of children and didn't know how else to express their feelings.

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 _Jack_

Like everyone else I assumed Jack was a boy before I saw her in the flesh. She had some form of strange aversion to clothing in those days, not that it got much better later on but still. I was never really sure where it was appropriate to look. Nice tattoos though. Not really sure where she found the time to get them done with all of the craziness she got up to.

After what she went through as a child, I'm surprised she was as together as she was. She didn't expect me to understand. The Girl Scout. Then I told her about my own experiences. It wasn't as bad as hers, but it earned me a bit of respect from her. Enough to get her to follow my orders.

Apart from Grunt she was the person I put the most time and effort into. She needed to see that I wanted to spend time around her. Learnt a lot of new insults from her. That I valued her input and more importantly I wouldn't skip out on her at the first sign of trouble. The amount of arguments she had with Miranda provided ample opportunities. At first I had to take her side, irking Miranda but as time went I got her to see things from Miranda's point of view. At least a tiny bit. A really, really tiny bit.

Once we got past the insults she was able to bond with the team easily. A lot easier than Miranda did. I knew we were making progress when she spared the life of Aresh, a fellow test subject on Praiga when we went to blow it up. She let go of her anger and was able to see Aresh for who he was. Someone who had suffered just as much as she had.

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 _Garrus Vakarian_

I was so disheartened when the Illusive Man told me that he didn't know where Garrus was. I had hoped that he went back to C-Sec or was even given Spectre training. Surrounded as I was by Cerberus lackeys and people I didn't know. I could've used someone I trusted to guard my back.

I couldn't believe it when the Archangel unmasked himself and I saw Garrus standing there. Though when I thought about it after we rescued him it did make sense. He absolutely hated the red tape of C-Sec, it stopping him in the pursuit of justice. I could picture him arriving at Omega, seeing how it was run, feeling the rage pool in his stomach and deciding to make things better for the downtrodden civilians. To form a team to take on the gangs, only for it to fall about after Sidonis's betrayal.

That hurt him deeply. Causing him to pour all of his spare time in trying to track him down so that he could pay for his crimes. He was harder than he used to be. More focused on the mission. I honestly missed the banter we had while hunting Saren. It helped when Tali re-joined the team, he opened up a little to her.

In the end I don't know who helped who more. He helped me to learn to trust the others in our team, to try and have some fun when I had time and commiserate with me when Liara rejected me when we first got to Illuim. I managed to convince him not to kill Sidonis when he had the chance. He didn't need that weight on his soul.

When getting revenge people always seem to fixate on killing their target. I find it much more satisfying to keep them alive, wallowing in self-pity, wishing they could take back what they did. Not living, just existing. Awaiting the sweet release of death. Isn't that better?

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 _Tali_

The first member of the original Normandy team that I ran into. It was only when I saw her that I realised two years really had passed. Over all she didn't look all that different. But her demeanour was totally different. She was in command, the other quarians were obeying her. Looked like her pilgrimage was a success.

It was only because of her that the other quarians didn't open fire at us. Turns out Cerberus had pissed them off. Why was I not surprised? I asked her to join us but she couldn't, her people came first. The rejection hurt but I understood. I couldn't help but miss that little quarian who I took under my wing.

Saving her life on Haestrom was one of the only things I was thankful to the Illusive Man for. Her then joining up with the crew, being able to go on missions with her and Garrus, that's when I started to believe that we could do this. Beat the Collectors. Maybe even save their captives.

I thought I knew how much Tali hated the geth. But when Legion turned up I learnt how wrong I was. When he first joined us, she could barely control herself in his presence, practically vibrating where she stood with her fists clenched and swearing at him. I tried bringing them both on a mission but she 'accidentally' let him get shot.

Trying very hard not to slap them upside the head I tried a different tact. Getting them to talk to each other. Sure it involved 'abandoning' them on a planet for half a day and fighting off a bunch of vorcha, but at least I got them to talk civilly to each other. I should really say Tali to be honest. If Legion was organic I'm sure he would've killed her by the end.

Before we went through the Omega Four Relay they even shared information about each other's race. Nothing significant but enough to start building the bridges that we would need for when Rannoch was liberated.

I'm glad we were also able to sort out that whole 'treason' situation with her father with the rest of the quarian admirals. I tried to convince them not to attack Rannoch, there were a lot of nodding heads when I left but I guess without my continued presence there, the stupidity returned and they decided to attack the Geth while the rest of us were trying to fight off the reapers. I can't tell you how much it warmed my heart when she kept on using Vas Normandy at the end of her name.

Garrus was my brother, Tali was my little sister. So when I started to notice some flirting going on it freaked me out completely. Didn't they know how wrong that looked in my head?

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 _Grunt_

Now where do I start with Grunt? I wasn't sure what we were going to get from the tank born krogan creation of warlord Okeer. Would he just want to kill every salarian he could get his hands on? Would he just be like Okeer? Hated by his own kind? Would he listen to me? A puny human? In hindsight it would've been better to have woken him up when we were planet side, not travelling through space. But you know, spur of the moment decision.

One that I am now glad I made. I mean how else was I going to be able to fight a thresher maw on foot? All kidding aside I've never meant a krogan like him before. From those deep blue eyes of his to his never ending quest for knowledge. I've never seen a krogan read so much before. Especially about non krogan things. But then again most krogan I met outside of Tuchanka were trying to kill me.

He told me that it was because of the things that Okeer put in his mind that made him want to learn more. That hopefully it would have meaning to him, unlike the information Okeer gave him.

I...never expected to get so attached to him either. Training with him, answering his questions, taking him to new places and letting him beat the crap out of the people trying to kill us. Good times. Never underestimate a krogan. The collectors learnt that the hard way.

I couldn't keep the smile off of my face when Wrex let him join the Urdnot.

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 _Thane_

For what Thane did, before and after he left the Hanar, I didn't expect to find someone so...composed and sure of himself. I guess that was what made him so good at his job. That and being all religiously. That always seems to help people do things that would cause others to crack.

He was a great sparring partner when he felt up to it. He showed me some moves I had never seen before. Though he did insist on trying to help me with my temper. Didn't really work out that well for me but it at least made the others laugh when I tried to put his teachings into use in the real world. I almost didn't punch that reporter.

From the start helping him with his son felt good. No conflicting feelings about what the right course of action is. Just a father trying to make peace with his son before the end. Sure it took a bit of 'encouragement' to get Thane to talk to his son but in the end it was good to see familiar bonds get fixed for once.

I always wished I could've met him before he got ill. To fight against and with him. I always got the feeling that he was holding back. That he couldn't give everything he had. No matter how much he wanted to.

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 _Mordin_

How do I describe Mordin? When I met him in that clinic of his on Omega did I know that I had met one of the many salarian scientists that had worked on the Genophage? No of course not. I just thought I met one of your atypical crazy smart / dangerous ex-STG soldier. Though I had always assumed being in the STG was a lifetime position but you live and learn.

I know we wouldn't have survived Horizon without his help. I mean I know Miranda is smart but I don't think she could've come up with Mordin's countermeasures. While singing. That was a surprise. Walking into his lab to talk to him about something or another and then standing there confused while he sang his own song to the tune of some human musician. Plus learning that he wanted to study seashells. When he had time. I really wish he had found the time to do that.

I found it hard to look him in the eye when he told me about his work with the genophage. Strengthening it as the krogan overcame it. I understood the pure logical reason for doing it. But ethically? Dooming all those mothers to stillborn children? That would've broken me just as it did Maelon. I'm glad I talked him into keeping the data on his cure. Doctors should heal not harm. Why do so many of them forget that?

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 _Jacob_

The first person I met after I woke up from my resurrection. Calm, cool under fire and always obeyed his orders when he believed in them. Instead of questioning me all of the time like Miranda did, at least at the beginning. He seemed to understand quite quickly that I didn't want to hear any Cerberus bullshit. Not that he seemed too into it himself. He joined up as they were the only people in his opinion that were trying to change things.

I could certainly understand the logic behind his decision to join up with Cerberus after seeing the total inaction of the Council and the Alliance. Though it's always been my opinion that things only change if you stay and change things yourself. Though on the plus side it meant when I did betray the Illusive Man he didn't seem that bothered about it.

I mean I wasn't interested but I could certainly see that he worked out. A lot. Seriously I don't know how he got any work done around the ship. Whenever I popped in to see him he always seemed to doing some form of exercise. A part of me always wondered if he knew Kasumi was in there spying on him and he was doing it for her benefit.

I've made my feelings on my mother quite clear. Though I have started to think that maybe having crappy parents somehow turns you into a better soldier / sentient being? I mean Liara had Benezia, Jacob had his father, who knowing the consequences, fed his crew food that destabilised their minds just to make his life easier. Miranda had her psycho Dad who like experimenting on people. Both Tali and Garrus were distant from their fathers. I think the only people who had good relationships with their parents were Ash and Joker.

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 _Legion_

I think the hardest thing about finding out that the Geth could actually talk was not accidentally shooting him when he did speak. As it turned out taking him aboard the Normandy and reactivating him was one of my better ideas. Plus I've always liked the idea of turning enemies into allies.

Finding out that he had some quite of obsession with me was new. At least that is what I assumed it was when he couldn't give me a clear answer on why he was wearing a piece of my armour after "I had a hole that needed fixing". Though at least at that point in his evolution I didn't have to worry about him trying to watch me sleep or something else like that.

I know most people at the time would've disagreed with me but I find it fascinating to learn about the true Geth and the heretics. Though I did have a few sleepless nights after I used his virus to turn the heretics back into Geth. Did I have the right to overwrite their minds like that? Just because they weren't organic? Wouldn't it had been better to just destroy them? At least that way they would've died as they choose to live. Plus like all good decisions it came and bit me on the ass later.

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 _Zaeed Massani_

I don't really have a lot to say about Zaeed. Old, tough bastard could certainly put up a hell of a fight when needed. Ugly git who had a weird obsession with an old gun of his.

I didn't trust him after he decided that killing Vido Santiago was more important than rescuing civilians from a fire he caused. I only took him on the low priority missions after that. He didn't seem that fussed either way to be honest. At least he understood how important the mission was.

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 _Kasumi Gato_

The master thief who had a sense of humour and a conscience. Not something you see every day. I have to admit, pretending to be someone else, breaking into a vault and stealing his ill-gotten gains was a lot of fun. Plus something I needed to do to get myself motivated for the fight again after the rejections of Liara and Ash.

Apart from her relationship with Kegi she never did reveal much about herself. Though I suppose in her line of work I can understand that. I hope after the war she was able to find someone else to settle down with. I know she enjoyed her game of cat and mouse with Spectre Bau.

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 _EDI, Joker and Karin Chakwas_

When I found out that Joker and Karin had joined up with Cerberus to help me. (Or in Joker's case so that he could also keep flying.) I was torn between elation and anger. How could they turn their backs on the Alliance like that? Not that I am one to talk. But you know, I had only recently been resurrected so my actions didn't count.

At first it was hard being in the same room as Joker. Knowing that if he had just listened to me I wouldn't have been in this god awful situation that I had found myself in. He did apologise, in his own way, plus saving our lives with his flying skills helped, and punching him lightly in the face. Really lightly, he was the one in charge of flying us after all.

It felt...really...good knowing that Karin joined up because of me. Knowing that she cared that much. That she knew that I would need someone I trusted to take care of my medical needs. Having someone to talk to about the good old days, while trying to get drunk. I'm so glad that I got her that brandy.

Thinking back on those days now I can't help but think that EDI was one of the biggest mistakes that the Illusive Man made. For a smart guy I can't see why he didn't foresee an AI deciding that it didn't want to serve him and decide to stick with the people who, you know didn't treat her as an object. I'm not really sure when I decided that she was a she and not an it. It's got to be all of the questions that she asked. VI don't ask that many questions. So I'm forever grateful to her for not screwing us all over. That earns you a big tick in the friend column.

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 _The Illusive Man_

I guess you could say that I had a complicated relationship with the Illusive Man. Before he went co-co bananas he did do some good for the galaxy. Horrible experiments not included. It's only because of him that I am alive now, so I guess I am a little grateful to him for that.

I could never allow myself to trust the man for one simple reason. He would never met up with me face to face. No, he was too important to do something as simple as that. If he couldn't do that for me, why should I have trusted him? As he kept telling me to do.

Was it during the time that we were working together that he started experimenting on his troops and himself? Or was it my betrayal on the Collector base that pushed him over the edge? I know there is no point in thinking about these questions. With his desires for humanity's future he was always going to try something stupid like taking over the reapers.

What could he have achieved if he thought beyond his own species?

I've come to realise that his biggest failure was his inability to see that people could change. It never occurred to him that I could change Miranda's mind. That EDI would want to be more, that she would want to make her own decisions. Basically that we all had a will of our own. That's what he wanted to take from us when he first took those steps to becoming the monster that died on the Citadel.

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 _Harbinger_

Or as I called him Harpy. I did consider other names for him. Harry, Hilda or maybe even Henry. But I decided on Harpy. I'm sure whatever I called him would've pissed him off. I've always wondered, did he coached himself on what to say? Or did he try out his material on his fellow reapers? I mean "I am the Harbinger of your destruction." Did that take him a long time to think up? Or did he choose the name Harbinger just so that he could say things like that?

I think the best thing about him was his ability to take over his soldiers. It meant that I got to kill him over and over and over again. Very cathartic after a hard day of killing normal collectors. I really do regret that I never got to kill him permanently. But then again if that happened I wouldn't have been able to kill him repeatedly. Quite the conundrum I found.

For someone who claimed to be some sort of unstoppable killing machine he sure lost a lot of battles against me.


End file.
